Hi guys hope all is well!

Ive been in a relationship for a year and 4 months now and no matter what my girlfriend was always sex sex sex, she was always up for it even if we had big arguements. it was a dream!

Now we've been fine for about 4-5months which is great, odd talk about things but nothing major... but for some reason the sex has died, at most we have sex once a week, she will not give oral or even want oral these days. If we do have sex i have to try turning her on quite a bit to make her want it, she'll never want it like she used to.

My questions -

Is she not sexually attracted to me anymore?
What can i do to help her get back to how she was previously?
Whats going on?!
How can i get blowjobs?!

Thanks in advance

Show her she can lose you if she's not satisfying you

Any suggests on how to do that? i've tried saying a few things and to be honest ive been a little bit more distant than usual too

verbally communicating will not work.

and you acting distant will make her resent u and she will act more distant in return.

the way to do what sovet said is by going out and gaming other girls.

be prepared for a potential break up. have other options. have other hot girls befriending you and wanting your balls.

game/self development/inner game/PUA does not stop once ure in a relationship.

well it shouldnt at least

btw, im not so sure that that's exactly what you should do.

you should first find out if there's anything wrong with your relationship.

that stuff you SHOULD verbally talk to her about. sit her down, talk to her. see whats up. if she brushes everything off, then do the other shit mentioned above.

For a start, dont go out and start chatting up girls. That will make her jealous but it will also piss her off way more than you need to.

Do other things, start something youve always wanted to do, meet new people, buy some new clothes, get a good fragrance, play sports.

Make your life so good that she is but a very tiny part of it, a part you could lose without much thought.

This however is only what we can tell you to do judging from what youve said. Its up to you to decide if there are problems other than a loss of attraction that you need to address, maybe with her.

Call me old fashioned but communication? When a sex problem occurs both of you need to be able to have an honest and open conversation. It could be she's lost her desire to have sex with YOU e.g. the sex got repetitive for her, however it could be that she has lost her desire for sex in general. Perhaps her sex drive has been affected by some medication. Maybe she put on weight and isn't feeling as comfortable in her body. Maybe she is stressed at work. Maybe she has started a new physical activity. Maybe her diet has changed. Maybe something traumatic has happened in her life.

In the past my sex drive has been affected by external factors and I would hate for my lovers first reaction to be to go out to flirt with other men to show she had options. Come on guys, we are talking about a LTR here! The girl you are closest to. Take the PUA hat off for one friggin second.

How much non-sexual touch do you share? Baths / showers together, cuddling to watch a film, massages (not as foreplay for sex). Walking hand in hand. All of this releases oxytocin which keeps bonds between lovers strong. It's likely that if you feels close to you she will want sex.

The other consideration is that you have unfortunately reached the end of the neurochemically charged honeymoon period - see http://www.reuniting.info/science/why_d ... ywed_study.

If sex has got repetitive, predictable and dull, you can add novelty (think sex toys, kink, a third lover) to spice it up. The problem with this though is that you become acclimatised to each new novelty and have to add more next time to get the same effect. Like a drug user chaser an ever greater high you eventually burn out.

An easy solution is to seek a novel partner, which instantly appears exciting - see the Coolidge effect - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect . It's the reason so many people end up cheating or if they have some morals become serial monogamists. Another option is to explore other forms of non-orgasmic sex such as Tantra and Karezza (n.b requires an open mind) which trigger the bonding programme rather than the mating programme. Having sex without movement with your partner is like a meditation. You get something very different out of it and as such it can be used alongside regular orgasmic driven sex. It may be your partner is after this sense of connection and bonding that regular sex isn't giving her.

watch porn together

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