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So what should you do? You have to somehow signal to her that you have lines of other girls wanting to be with you. That you are capable of dumping her and have another girl in two days. There should be a certain pressure on pleasuring you: "if I don't pleasure him enough, he's gone to someone who will". That is exactly the mindset you want her to have.
See the difference? No attraction -> no pressure on pleasuring you. Lots of attraction -> pressure on pleasuring you.
This is not unethical or anything of the sorts. Women love this kind of sex more than anything because it makes them feel they're being taken by the best man around. It's all darwinism.
So spot on. It's all about your frame. Sadly once you lost that it's hard to recover. You sound like you are backsliding into beta territory. You'll be jumping through hoops and buying her present for sex soon. Then she will loose all respect for you and either cheat or leave you. Just saying...
How you start a relationship is everything
My previous relationship was very sexually charged. 1 year, sex every single time we met, usually multiple times, being woken up to blow jobs, she would endlessly service me when she was on period. She would frequently dress up in lingerie, turn up to my house in just a long jacket and boots without any other clothes on, blow me in a restaurant or whilst driving my car. This girl wanted to please me at all times. I recently asked her about her high sex drive and she told me that it was naturally high but with me it had gone to another level. Her best friend used to say she would climb over her dead body to have sex with me.
When I met this girl I was certainly no sex god. So how did this happen? Looking back it was all in the frame I established when we met. Here are the details.
I turned down sex with her the night I met her explaining that I had just said goodbye to my last girl 48 hours earlier (DHV and gender role reversal). Two weeks later I was dating another girl and I didn't hide this, although I didn't brag, it just came out in conversation "What did you do earlier this evening?" - "I went for a drink with this crazy girl I met on the train the other day". It's not possible to fake this, but once you have an option other options always seem to appear.
So this girl now sees competition from other girls and getting sex from me is hard. From her point of view I couldn't be more of a challenge. So she gets competitive and says that an old fuck buddy is in town. I don't show any insecurity. In fact I talk to her about him, found out how they became fuck buddies, why it didn't go further, what made the sex good. Just a genuine interest. Again this threw her. What's up with this guy, why is he not jealous?
She went for a drink with said fuck buddy but didn't feel anything anymore (funny that!). He phoned when I was at her place. It felt pretty good to hear her tell him she didn't want to 'hang out at his place' that night and then get on her knees and blow me. That's another emotional pang for her "I just sacked off a guaranteed fuck to be with this guy who still isn't having sex with me".
When I decided I did want to have sex with her it was great because of the anticipation I had built. Every time she sees me she has sex and every time she has sex with me she has multiple orgasms. So I become associated with her having an orgasm.
Because she enjoys it so much she won't withhold or use it as a form of exchange. And if she ever did, I'd call her on it "Sex isn't a weapon missy" and then bend her over my knee and spank her ass and / or dominant sex. If you let it happen just once then that's it.
I also show my opinion early on through indirect stories "I was out with my mate the other night and his girlfriend keeps on threatening to not have sex 'I know someone who's not going to get any sex tonight'. Apart from being embarrassing for everyone else I just hate that attitude. It's not someone the girl controls. It's a mutual experience, right?". You've made your point and stance very clear without directly saying it to your girlfriend.
I remember once going for a SNL but after building huge attraction and lots of comfort I couldn't get her to come home with me; she froze at the cloakroom "But I only just met you tonight". My reply "Look sex is a mutual experience. I don't enjoy bad sex and it won't be good unless both of us really want it. So I won't pressure you. Please listen and follow your heart". Later on she told me this was one of the most amazing things a man has said to her. Again sex was never an issue with her.
A comparison from my younger years. I was horny as hell and just wanted to get laid. I remember my gf saying I was pestering her for sex. She held all the cards and dished it out when she wanted. I was like an obedient horny boy waiting for my next treat. The thing is most girls are submissive and so being in control will reduce their attraction. They want to be taken. Sex was always a problem in that relationship.
Lessons for the future
You've been given advise about what you can do in this relationship. Here are some notes for your next:
1. Pick a girl with a high sex drive. It will only diminish over time so start with the highest you can find.
2. Never plead for sex. You are in control. Make it known that she can't use sex as a weapon. Show her this through a story (as above), direct communication, or dominance. If she holds off you loose interest and walk away. Sex is your gift to her.
3. Establish a frame of having options at the very beginning. Always be cutting off other options when you enter a relationship. That will stick in her mind forever.
4. Make sure you can pleasure a girl you enter a LTR with. Sometimes this is not down to you and your skills. You will come across girls who are not yet comfortable with their sexuality and who cannot have an orgasm with anyone. Usually girls who are older are easier to please. If you can't please her early on walk away.
5. Always be dominant in the bedroom - "Own the pussy".