Hi Guys, I'm having real trouble getting over my Ex despite my best efforts, the story is as follows. (If you get bored jump to the last paragraph thanks).
I'm 23, and this was the first real GF that I loved and had real feelings for, in the past I've just dated girls a couple months max then I move on, definitely had commitment issues. Although I was happy being single and living like that.
The Relationship.
I was friends with this girl at first and we knew each other for a few months, then we hooked up on a night out and started an intense relationship for about 6 months.
At 6 months (longest relationship I'd been in) I started to worry as I about to graduate in a few months and would be moving to a different University a few hours away, and she'd be staying, and I was also in love with her and this scared me a little, as I'd never said this to anyone. I panicked and she could tell as I went a bit cold with her, she text me asking if the relationship was a good idea or not and I went round to hers that night and broke it off.
Over the next week I felt numb, I went out drinking and hooked up with a random girl who came back to mine...this is when I realised I loved my Ex and that I was just scared and had panicked, so the next time I saw my ex a couple days later I explained that I loved her and I was just scared of the unknown future really and wanted her back. At this point she was dating some guy but hadn't slept with him.
A few days later she came back to mine and said she loved me and wanted to get back together, she asked if I'd slept with anyone and I told her yes, (some might disagree with telling her but honesty is the one thing I try to do), she left mine and the next day went mental at me, a few days later she slept with the guy she was dating which really hurt me.
So it should have been over then but we had a holiday booked together (volunteering thing) that we both went on, I told her not to see the guy until we got back and try and work on us, she agreed. Most of the holiday was awesome but stressful for a few reasons, and we argued a fair bit. The week we got back we didn't talk and then she fucked this other guy before telling me she didn't want to get back together (this really hurt too).
over the next month or so she stayed with this guy, and I tried to move on and was doing ok, seeing other girls etc. We hooked up around my birthday when she came round one day and then said she loved me and only wanted to be with me...we got back for a week, (most of which she was ill) but she was still talking to this other guy, I told her I didn't trust her and she said the same to me so we decided to end things...she's now back with this other guy after she said she wasn't going to get back with him (this made me think back to how much she's lied and fucked me around).
After I found this out I rang her up (I was more pissed off than I've ever been) and we had a 2 hour argument about how little respect I had for her, then I threatened to tell her new guy that we'd hooked up and she ended things with him to get back with me, and also that we'd hooked up a few times during their whole relationship. She didn't like this and I said she had the chance to tell him first (this was petty but I also thought the other guy deserved to know). Which she has apparently, and now 'HATES' me for, but they are back together after a couple days break so I doubt that she told him everything.
That's a long story, sorry for going on but I just needed to write it down and share it. Right now I'm dating a couple girls, one that I really like, and when I'm with her I feel great, but I have a lot of spare time during the days and I can't stop thinking about my ex, and can't sleep very well. I've cut all contact with her, and I'm trying to keep busy. I just want to get over her and I can't, I really don't want her back not after what she's done and what I've realised she's like. I just want to move on and I don't know how, I realise the whole thing is still raw, and when I think rationally about it I have a lot to look forward too, but I just can't shake her out of my head, so any advice on doing that would be very much appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
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