The Newbie Mission


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Sun Nov 16, 2014 6:52 pm 
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It's nice to see I'm not alone. I'm really struggling with this mission.

I tried it once at the zoo and once at the airport (I travel a lot for my job so airports are easily accessible and I have time to kill between the time I get through security and the time I get on the plane, so...)

I tried it at the zoo and making eye contact was really hard. Usually they were just in their own world. One woman seemed genuinely pleased that I said hi to her with a smile and she said, "Hi, how are you? :)". Other than that, if they weren't looking at me when they said it they ignored me. I gave up after about 20 attempts.

Today I tried it at the airport again. The very first woman I saw was a jaw-dropping HB10 who looked tired and a little sad. I smiled at her and said hi and she smiled without looking back, and I could tell that she maintained the smile as she walked away. Good start, I thought!

But it went downhill from there. If they weren't looking right at me they didn't acknowledge my hi. I let woman after woman walk right by me because I was *afraid* to say hi. A few said hi back but didn't seem particularly pleased.

A cute little blond college-aged girl happened to be beside me so I smiled at her and said, "Hi!" :)" She stared right back at me with a kind of emotionless expression and said, "Hi?" and after a brief pause I said, "just spreading the joy!" Then, by coincidence, we headed off in the same direction. I said to her, "I need to do that to people who are walking the other way, this is awkward!" She chuckled and said yes, but kept moving forward.

When I see a "target", i.e. a woman coming the other way who's not with a man and will naturally walk right by me, I feel this fire in my stomach and more than half the time I can't force out a hi.

I'm not ready to give up yet, but I'll appreciate feedback erst the while.


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 Post subject: Re: Well...
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:55 am 
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JasonLloyd wrote:
I'm getting counseling. And medication. And I'm not going to zen buddhism, it's a religion and I have mine. I know you're fed up of me not taking the advice everyone gives me, but it's a lot harder for some people to go approaching. Some people read the game and halfway through go out and approach. Others finish it, keep reading other material, and then never approach. What I have is not an "inner game" issue. Inner game does not exist, or at least it never existed until a guy who wrote a book on tennis sold a few more copies of it through pickup. What I have is clearly a psychological issue, that I've been trying to address through pickup but this is not the solution. It's like a bucket full of holes. I patch a tiny hole up, and the water comes out the bigger hole even more. I know I'm not the only person with this problem. I can't be. It's not approach anxiety, or approach excitement, or whatever you want to call it. It's an issue that's ruining my life. And it isn't as simple as saying "I WILL approach today" and forcing myself to do it. I think that approaching or speaking to people would be a negative experience for me and drag me back into depression. PUA's always say that it takes like 200, or 250, or 500 approaches to get good and not get blown out. I know that even if i tried my hardest, I would manage about 3 approaches, and cos i got blown out, I'd give up, go home and feel like total shit for about a month. I don't know if it's a form of OCD, if I'm manic depressive or anything. All I actually know is, I can't help this. I can't change it myself unless I want to go through extreme pain emotionally that will do more harm than good. Chief, do you know what it's like to be depressed? Do you know what it's like when you try and improve and everything knocks you back so you're worse off than you were before? Do you know what it's like to be well known for your appalling social skills? The last question does have a sort of irony to it, but still. My friends group know me as "the guy who never gets any girls". I don't wanna change my friend group, as has been suggested to me so many times. I don't want to go out without my friends either, because I wouldn't speak to anyone. Pickup has made my life considerably worse in a way. I love reading the material, it's so interesting, I just love it. And listening to or watching some people talk about it is just as good. I love it all. The Game is one of my favourite books ever, and I can re-read it so many times and it's still just as good. But, with pickup, I've ended up spending money on products I don't need, I've wasted so much time reading, listening, writing, and being on the forum chat. Learning about "approach anxiety" probably worsened my form of it. And now whenever I see a girl, I just think about picking her up. I've read so much, and can regurgitate a lot of it, but I never know what to say to the girls I see. And I wouldn't say anything anyway. I'm lying when I say I don't wanna be a PUA. I do. I would love it. But it's trying to make me run, before I can walk. Hell, I can't even crawl yet. Speaking to people, for me, is the scariest thing in the world. I have trouble walking down the street to my local shop. That's scary for me. So going to speak to a total stranger, who's going to judge me, on my bad looks, on my mediocre dress sense, on my bad body language, on my strange voice, and on my terrible conversation is not something I want in my life. I know these are things I can change (except my voice), but I don't know how to change them without having to go out and speak to people, and improve on the things I suck with. Well that's pretty much all I wanted to say, Chief. I don't know why I said it, but I felt like I had to make it clear exactly how I feel about everything.

Thanks

Jason


Maybe a paragraph or 2 will help whats ailing you, man.

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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:43 pm 
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DalTXColtsFan wrote:
It's nice to see I'm not alone. I'm really struggling with this mission.

I tried it once at the zoo and once at the airport (I travel a lot for my job so airports are easily accessible and I have time to kill between the time I get through security and the time I get on the plane, so...)

I tried it at the zoo and making eye contact was really hard. Usually they were just in their own world. One woman seemed genuinely pleased that I said hi to her with a smile and she said, "Hi, how are you? :)". Other than that, if they weren't looking at me when they said it they ignored me. I gave up after about 20 attempts.

Today I tried it at the airport again. The very first woman I saw was a jaw-dropping HB10 who looked tired and a little sad. I smiled at her and said hi and she smiled without looking back, and I could tell that she maintained the smile as she walked away. Good start, I thought!

But it went downhill from there. If they weren't looking right at me they didn't acknowledge my hi. I let woman after woman walk right by me because I was *afraid* to say hi. A few said hi back but didn't seem particularly pleased.

A cute little blond college-aged girl happened to be beside me so I smiled at her and said, "Hi!" :)" She stared right back at me with a kind of emotionless expression and said, "Hi?" and after a brief pause I said, "just spreading the joy!" Then, by coincidence, we headed off in the same direction. I said to her, "I need to do that to people who are walking the other way, this is awkward!" She chuckled and said yes, but kept moving forward.

When I see a "target", i.e. a woman coming the other way who's not with a man and will naturally walk right by me, I feel this fire in my stomach and more than half the time I can't force out a hi.

I'm not ready to give up yet, but I'll appreciate feedback erst the while.


do not give up!
i've been there. i know the exact heat-like feeling boiling in your stomach as you approach. i like to call it "bi*ch butterflies" (the ones that cause you to bi*ch out :D ).

once, i took singing classes with that opera singer. i wanted to learn to sing. that's exactly what i told her.....and i sucked.....big time. however, that changed after some practice because she had one good piece of advice: OVER-DO IT. her point was that you should sing something too eagerly and SOUND AWFUL BAD in order to tune down to real good singing instead of just shyly and quietly trying to sound good. and it worked for me. i think the same piece advice can be used in this "hi" context.
what i am suggesting is that next time you go out greeting people:
1. stand right in front of them causing them to stop in their tracks
2. loudly say: HI!
3. walk away like nothing happened
yes, that means you will look like a retard and that's ok. you are no trying to impress anyone and they won't remember anything after a few days (esspecialy if you are doing it in a crowded place like airport). so instead of trying to greet someone with hearty hello, fail massively. say hi with the most indifferent face you can put on and walk away. i used to do the same before i discovered PUA and the first time i did it i immediately wanted to do more. there was something funny in creeping people out and seeing their reaction. every next approach was more easier and easier + i was having fun. after awhile i kicked it up a notch so instead plain "hi!" i started telling people "bananas are great source of potassium" or "what time is it? <answers> how many kilograms is that?".
as a byproduct of that "overdoing" i realized i could now walk by any person and simply say "hi" without hesitation and it was a cool realization. in a way i think it teaches you how to not give a f*ck about what people think about you.

PS term "bi*ch butterflies" was invented by SimplePickup i believe. look them up, they have a great youtube chanel.

PS2 that singing teacher was smoking hot btw! :D


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2015 7:07 pm 
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Hey guys,
So basically ive never gone out with the intention of doing this mission but it's something that i've realised i do anyway quite naturally (i've been raised to be a friendly and polite character so you can probably guess that i'm that 'nice guy' people talk about) but where my problem lies is when there's a girl who i find attractive and think of her as a... Shall we say "possible mate". I have no problem saying "hi" to strangers and greeting them with a smile but when it involves a good looking girl i never know where to go from there and the annoying thing is there are times when ive even been almost "forced" into a conversation and involuntarily find a way out!!
Eg. Just last week i was sat on a table with some friends during lunch time (im in college) and this good looking girl (who i know but dont really speak to) sits opposite me to talk to a friend who happens to be part of our group. I said "hello" when she sat down and then we each turned back to our friends to continue the previous conversation, after a while she gets out some work and soon asks me if i do english. So to recap im in a dream situation where i didnt even have to start a conversation or put any kind of effort in to talk to her. So i replied "no, sorry" with a friendly smile and she playfully says "you should be" with a grin so i kind of put my hands up as if to surrender to her 'threat' and we both kind of giggled, now the annoying thing is i then made no immediate attempt to carry this on and we both turned away. When i realised how stupid that was i turned back to ask about the work she was doing to which she looked like she was about to reply before a friend of hers comes over and kind of 'steals' her attention and that was pretty much the end of it. I dont know why but it feels like my brain begins to slow down when an attractive girl decides to talk to me, ive been in so many situations like this and i dont understand why the hell i cant do anything about it!!!! Any feedback/support/anything would be appreciated


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 8:55 am 
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Does it count if you strike up short conversations with girls at work you don't know? I'm the new guy, so I don't know anyone (or didn't). But I talk to everyone.

I haen't done this at my college yet because it really does feel a little awkward. But I guess I need to get over it to really be an actual PUA.


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 6:00 am 
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Aleistar wrote:
Does it count if you strike up short conversations with girls at work you don't know? I'm the new guy, so I don't know anyone (or didn't). But I talk to everyone.

I haen't done this at my college yet because it really does feel a little awkward. But I guess I need to get over it to really be an actual PUA.


It's a bit more of a warm approach because you are both there for a reason, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get to know anyone and everyone at work. What I would suggest would be just talking to anyone and everyone you feel comfortable talking to out in public. Obviously, some people are MORE comfortable than others doing this, but that's because they've always done it. For example, I was at the store the other day grocery shopping and knew I was going out that night. So to get into a fun/talkative "state" as PUAs call it, I just talked to people.

I've been working on myself lately and been getting back into the gym for over the last month or so 6 days a week so my confidence is soaring at the moment. Anyway, a cute older lady walked by me in one of the aisles, so I opened her with "Why do they make it so hard to eat healthy?" She went on to show me the stuff she likes that's filling and low-calorie blah blah blah. We had a nice conversation about certain foods. Not every approach has to be about pick up. And that's the point of the newbie mission, just to talk to people without worrying about picking them up.

So I go out that night, shortly after going to the store, still trying to ramp up my "state." I talked to this old dude that sat next to me at the bar. Can't remember what I opened him with but we talked for a couple minutes. Nothing major. Anyway, I ended up pulling some numbers, but I just had a hell of a time talking to everyone in that place. Talked to numerous girls with 0 blowouts. One hot MILF's extremely obese friend tried to, but I played that shit cool and won her over while also cracking up the MILF. Didn't close her, but that was one of the most fun interactions of the night.

I know this kind of turned into a long answer, but man, just say "hi" to people. You don't even have to converse with them. Hope this helps.


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2015 10:53 am 
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I'm gonna give this mission a quick do over because I've been stuck in my room sick for so long. This mission is very helpful. It's what allowed me to get to the point where I can open with the dumbest shit or just talk without opening.

In my dorm, I'll sit at the front desk and say Hi to everyone who walks in. I remember I said "How are you doing?" She was in her own world walking quickly, noticed I said something, and said "What?" like she was surprised and scoffed a bit. I just said "You know? That greeting that polite people say to each other?" The people who heard were laughing their asses off. It made me realized that in this case, if anyone responds poorly they'll be made fun of. DO THE FRIGGIN MISSION!

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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 1:05 am 
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I actually tried this mission on my own a few weeks ago before I even came to this forum. I found it really really hard to make eye contact with anybody and didn't actually say hi to anyone because of this.

I tried again last week and had similar results. I believe the problem is that coming straight on down a mall hallway is intimidating so people don't tend to look you in the eyes.

Recognizing this, I saddled up yesterday and headed to the nearest busy shopping center. This time I looked for better approach angles. I won't lie I have Stage 5 approach anxiety and i passed on a few opportunities before I worked up the nerve. But the mall.was closing soon and I wasn't gonna leave empty handed still so I headed to the food court, bought a coffee and sat down at a table near 2 girls. I clearly violated any kind of 3 second rule lol but I did it! 1 clumy approach.

Today I hit up a Walmart on the way home and spent less time working up my courage. I made an approach on 2 girls and it went much smoother.

My goal this week is 1 approach per day. Next week I'll bump it up.


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 3:37 am 
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I'm new here, so I decided to start from the begining. This is actually not much different from what I use to do on daily basis, so I tried to say hi to almost every woman I saw yesterday and today (and also some men... my objective actually is to be more confident so I think that would work too).

The sensation was great. Everyone smiled back, and also I had some chat with a couple of them. I even recieved a facebook friend invitation from a girl I met at the hospital (I went just because I'm in a stressful period this month), but when we went out today she turned to be kind of crazy. I'll try to never hook up again in a hospital. Maybe if they're there it's a sign.

After this, I will continue reading over here and posting experiences. I hope to learn from you some new tools to improve social skills. I think this will kind of turn into a way of living, not just a bunch of tools, but let's go step by step.

Thanks, and see you around!

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 Post subject: Re: Well...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 6:54 pm 
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JasonLloyd wrote:
I'm getting counseling. And medication. And I'm not going to zen buddhism, it's a religion and I have mine. I know you're fed up of me not taking the advice everyone gives me, but it's a lot harder for some people to go approaching. Some people read the game and halfway through go out and approach. Others finish it, keep reading other material, and then never approach. What I have is not an "inner game" issue. Inner game does not exist, or at least it never existed until a guy who wrote a book on tennis sold a few more copies of it through pickup. What I have is clearly a psychological issue, that I've been trying to address through pickup but this is not the solution. It's like a bucket full of holes. I patch a tiny hole up, and the water comes out the bigger hole even more. I know I'm not the only person with this problem. I can't be. It's not approach anxiety, or approach excitement, or whatever you want to call it. It's an issue that's ruining my life. And it isn't as simple as saying "I WILL approach today" and forcing myself to do it. I think that approaching or speaking to people would be a negative experience for me and drag me back into depression. PUA's always say that it takes like 200, or 250, or 500 approaches to get good and not get blown out. I know that even if i tried my hardest, I would manage about 3 approaches, and cos i got blown out, I'd give up, go home and feel like total shit for about a month. I don't know if it's a form of OCD, if I'm manic depressive or anything. All I actually know is, I can't help this. I can't change it myself unless I want to go through extreme pain emotionally that will do more harm than good. Chief, do you know what it's like to be depressed? Do you know what it's like when you try and improve and everything knocks you back so you're worse off than you were before? Do you know what it's like to be well known for your appalling social skills? The last question does have a sort of irony to it, but still. My friends group know me as "the guy who never gets any girls". I don't wanna change my friend group, as has been suggested to me so many times. I don't want to go out without my friends either, because I wouldn't speak to anyone. Pickup has made my life considerably worse in a way. I love reading the material, it's so interesting, I just love it. And listening to or watching some people talk about it is just as good. I love it all. The Game is one of my favourite books ever, and I can re-read it so many times and it's still just as good. But, with pickup, I've ended up spending money on products I don't need, I've wasted so much time reading, listening, writing, and being on the forum chat. Learning about "approach anxiety" probably worsened my form of it. And now whenever I see a girl, I just think about picking her up. I've read so much, and can regurgitate a lot of it, but I never know what to say to the girls I see. And I wouldn't say anything anyway. I'm lying when I say I don't wanna be a PUA. I do. I would love it. But it's trying to make me run, before I can walk. Hell, I can't even crawl yet. Speaking to people, for me, is the scariest thing in the world. I have trouble walking down the street to my local shop. That's scary for me. So going to speak to a total stranger, who's going to judge me, on my bad looks, on my mediocre dress sense, on my bad body language, on my strange voice, and on my terrible conversation is not something I want in my life. I know these are things I can change (except my voice), but I don't know how to change them without having to go out and speak to people, and improve on the things I suck with. Well that's pretty much all I wanted to say, Chief. I don't know why I said it, but I felt like I had to make it clear exactly how I feel about everything.

Thanks

Jason


From what I hear (and others may have noticed and commented on this as well.) is that you currently... And I'm guessing in the past, make a lot of negative assumptions and predictions as to the way things will turn out if you try something new. Pick-Up is based largely on SELF HELP. And in order for any of the suggestions that have been presented to you to work... You must HELP YOURSELF. Not to offend you... Because I view you as a brother on the road to shedding his insecurities and barriers... But when I saw you say that your problem isn't inner game I chuckled to myself... Not because I find despair humorous, (I suffered from DEEP DEPRESSION from the age of about 9 until I was 28) but because I know that once you realize that you problem is ENTIRELY INNER GAME... You'll start making the changes in your thinking that produce more positive feelings. Pick Up is about transformation. The reason we choose different names when we become PUA's is to shed the old identity of insecurity and fear. We literally realize that we are awesome... That we can and will be whatever we choose to be in this life... And we CHOOSE to be confident. We CHOOSE to be charismatic. We CHOOSE to be seductive. Once you realize who you REALLY are... And see that he is likable... Comfortable... Fun Loving... And not who you thought you were (lame, boring, scared, awkward.) you'll stop telling yourself that things will go to shit... You'll stop telling yourself that you can't... You'll stop telling yourself that she doesn't like you. Will you immediately start bagging 6 chicks a night??? Probably not... But then again... WHO THE FUCK AM I TO TELL YOU THAT YOU WONT!!!??? The point is... You'll start feeling a lot better once you start identifying with the best you. The guy who's charismatic, smooth, and relaxed.


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:06 am 
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Decided to try this mission by going to the mall. I wanted to go Saturday, but ended up sleeping in so I went Sunday. Not too many HBs there, but the once I spoke to seemed to want more of the conversation. I want to do a retry this Saturday by going to several places like Bookstores and Grocery Stores too. I'll post back when I have more info.


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 6:06 pm 
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Decided to do this mission today as I realized I would get no where if I could not bring myself to do this. I was only able to get a response from about 10 people. I was pretty surprised at the amount of people that wont look you in the face even if you just full on stare at them. It actually helped me a lot and it made me smile as I continued on my way which in turn helped with further approaches.


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 12:25 am 
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Gentlemen,

It is a pleasure being part of this elite society of maniacal, devious, beautiful, imaginative, and eager to please (in more ways than one) society! I am posting today because I just finished my first newbie mission in Brooklyn!

First, I rode my bike through Williamsburg and went through a red light and was pulled over by some cops...who knew you could get pulled over on a fucking bike, but thats NYC for ya. So the cops tell me to stop and they both get out and one of them is a lanky indian guy, but right behind him is a bouncy-haired 8.5 brunette. She wiped off her blue tinted ray bans, revealing her shining jade eyes and gave me that stern bitchy ladycop look. As my eyes met hers i knew it was a sign from the PUAGods.

The indian guy asked me for some ID and went into the car and instructed the lady cop to "keep an eye on me," boy was i happy about that. I started chatting with her while her partner in crime looked up my file most certainly full of parking tickets. I opened and asked her how long she's been a cop, she answered with two words which i can't even recall. I started making small talk and as soon as i mentioned smorgasburg (a local food festival here every saturday) her attention was on me. I noticed her body turn and shift toward mine as she said she loved the food their. we started talking about our favorite meals and blah blah blah i later asked if she was ever stationed there and she said she will be there next saturday, i told her i would be there too, and i would be sure not to run any red lights in her presence. Not sure if that is a good thing or not but throughout the entire conversation she was smiling so i will take that as a good thing.

Her partner then stepped out of the car with my ID and discussed a couple of things with her. She looked over at me with those big beautiful green eyes and i am not sure what was said throughout that pow-wow but i ended up getting out of there scot-free. I turned to ride away but not before i mouthed "thank you" and left her with a big grin. She replied with a smile. From then on i knew it was going to be a good day.

I went down to smorgasburg and said hi to just about anyone i could. Old ladies, young ladies, foreign asians, chefs, college kids, blondes, brunettes, hipsters, and more. I said hi to one girl merely by shouting cheers to her because we were both sipping coconut water out of a coconut. I said hi to multiple women just by asking where and what type of food they were eating and if it was scrumptious or not.

While in a semi long line i opened a 7 blonde with "you look like you come here quite often, tell me is this ice cream sandwich really worth the wait?" i knew it was worth the wait the fucking things were made of nutella, caramel salted chocolate chip cookies, and vanilla ice cream. She immediately turned to me and smiled and we held a conversation for the entire line. when it was time to part ways (at least it was for now since I'm still a rookie at this art form) i introduced myself to her and she reciprocated.

There were a couple of other times where I randomly started conversation with women and they turned out to be friendly and very rarely did i just get shut out and ignored. This mission definitely instilled some confidence in myself and my ability to randomly open to women. Anyways if anyone has any tips or advice as to how i could've improved these interactions or how i can move forward in my game it would be greatly appreciated. Happy saturday from NYC!

-Cuervo


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 12:44 am 
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Im going to the mall to follow up on a job.
Im gonna do this and post back.


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 Post subject: Re: The Newbie Mission
PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 8:11 pm 
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I been learning Pick up for about a Year now and I have gotten some success but i feel i'm still in a newbie Mission. I still just go out and say Hi or Compliment girls sometimes i do Openers But i really need to work on my Openers. Also i don't get Approach anxiety as much as i used to.


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