Talking to cool/been there, done that chicks



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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 12:08 am 
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.......interesting women who do/have done a lot of cool things such as:

Travel, active social calendar, get invited to cool stuff by "my friend x".

These interesting women may just start telling me about all these cool things in a conversation and its possible that they do have a cool lifestyle.

Im sometimes not sure how to deal with it:

-"Approve of" various cool things they do by saying "that sounds cool/fun/great" - ask more questions about trips, activities, just sincere "approving" "...........neat", "sounds fun" etc

-Throw in conversational 1 for 1 or 2-1 relevant experiences to match theirs....which in my mind, may come across as trying to keep up with them.

-Dig deeper into why they like such things or how they feel about them etc.

In fact this happened the other day on a Tinder date. Chick told me about yearly trip to Mexico, yearly Paleo festival, yearly road trip she did or will do....note...I travel quite a bit myself.

Curious on your thoughts/suggestions

thanks


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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 1:00 am 
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As a traveller yourself, you understand that you learn so much upon visiting a new place. You experience their culture and it's really an information overload. You grow as a person when you return to your home. This is something travellers experience that people that stay put won't get to.

I say keep up the enthusiasm because girls love to talk about their travels. You won't seem like you're trying to compete with them by talking about your own experiences. I would recommend engaging with their conversation and asking about it. Show interest because it's something they likely enjoyed very much and want to share that emotion with you.

She will reach a natural stopping point. They always do. When this happens bring up your own experience. It will then be her turn to listen. If she is interested in you, she will love to hear your stories. It's cool to talk about these things to develop trust. Trust = fun times

These girls are cool because they have a lot going for them. They tend to have more chill personalities and be very easy going. They can sometimes be relationship material. I don't know if that's what you want or not.

Cheers, brother

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 3:39 am 
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I would personally try to minimize her storytelling. The reason is because it is either her trying to DHV herself, or make you DLV since you haven't done or seen as much as her. And like you also said, its like you are trying to keep up and seek validation the longer you let her go on. I mean if you genuinely care about her stories and can relate, then by all means engage her in those conversations.

This is why you also need either routines and/or the ability to direct your game into rapport building and escalation. Ask her where she HASN'T been yet but would like to go. Whatever she says, Japan let's say, then be like "Oh I ALWAYS wanted to go to Japan, me and you should put it on our bucket list to go together one day."

By doing that you've not changed the topic, but you've leveled the playing field. It's something NEITHER of you have done. And you also put the idea of her and you in context as part of rapport building. This actually happened to me on a plane once. I met this hot little ballerina chick with rich parents and she had travelled and lived all over. I told her that I want to meet her in Australia for holiday and she was really into it. That never materialized of course, but it was a highpoint in our interaction as I recall.

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 2:23 pm 
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You nailed it. These chicks are sometimes trying to DLHV themselves. Its kind of a turn off for me, when they just run their mouths bragging.....


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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 2:35 pm 
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I have no idea where this resurgence of MM dhv dlv bs is coming from. Chick is on a date with you talking and now that's an issue. Chick talks alot... Now it's bragging and dhving herself. Wtf. Escalate and lead. If you're thinking dhv and dlv shit you're most likely becoming a weird guy who is fucking himself up more than helping yourself. It's a date. A chick ain't getting dressed up to brag to some guy about her frequent flyer miles. You're sticking point is closing.. Not girls bragging.


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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 2:55 pm 
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Thanks Neo, but what you say makes zero sense to me.


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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 3:10 pm 
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Refelex wrote:
Thanks Neo, but what you say makes zero sense to me.


If a chick is on a date with you.. She likes you. She's not bragging to brag. She likes you. Stop thinking in the DHV/Dlv way... Thats obviously making you over think what's going on during a date. Chicks don't go on dates to brag.


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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 3:18 pm 
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Listen, nod head at appropriate moments, keep the wine flowing, put your dick in her.

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 4:26 pm 
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Looool. Love you guys. Agree


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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 7:46 pm 
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I was waiting for the question there..

It all depends on what you value; a chick telling me about the places she's been is not necessarily something I think is "cool". Thats good for her, but I'm more concerned with the expiriences she's had that are going to have a positive or non positive effect on my life. If a girl tells me how great of a relationship she has with her dad, I think that's "cool", because it adds to the probability that she'll have a good relationship with me. Thats something I inquire about, comment on, and choose to relate to her on. Her telling me she went to Mexico or wherever, is of little relevance so I don't give it too much attention. Especially during the beginning stages. Because that's the point in which I'm still trying to see if she fits my life. When we're not joking and around and flirting, the conversation are based around our needs, and the things I screen for.

You have to know what you want though.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 12:09 am 
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Refelex wrote:
..
These interesting women may just start telling me about all these cool things in a conversation and its possible that they do have a cool lifestyle.



Passionate sex where they orgasm a lot > "cool lifestyle".


Every. Single. Time.

ALWAYS be looking to escalate and stop fucking falling into their frame.

Quote:
-"Approve of" various cool things they do by saying "that sounds cool/fun/great" - ask more questions about trips, activities, just sincere "approving" "...........neat", "sounds fun" etc


"Cool. BTW, do you think the waitress has a nice ass?"

Maintain a fun, sexual frame. Your frame, not hers.





Quote:
-Throw in conversational 1 for 1 or 2-1 relevant experiences to match theirs....which in my mind, may come across as trying to keep up with them.


stop worrying about her frame, and employ yours.


Quote:
-Dig deeper into why they like such things or how they feel about them etc.


Boring.

Stop following her frame. A dominant male sets the frame.


Quote:
In fact this happened the other day on a Tinder date. Chick told me about yearly trip to Mexico, yearly Paleo festival, yearly road trip she did or will do....note...I travel quite a bit myself.

Curious on your thoughts/suggestions


Her: OMG, I do this trip every year to Cancun, it's like, such an adventure! I live for adventure.
You: Cool, me too. So lets get out of here and make our own.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 3:44 am 
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Refelex wrote:
.......interesting women who do/have done a lot of cool things such as:

Travel, active social calendar, get invited to cool stuff by "my friend x".

These interesting women may just start telling me about all these cool things in a conversation and its possible that they do have a cool lifestyle.

Im sometimes not sure how to deal with it:

-"Approve of" various cool things they do by saying "that sounds cool/fun/great" - ask more questions about trips, activities, just sincere "approving" "...........neat", "sounds fun" etc

-Throw in conversational 1 for 1 or 2-1 relevant experiences to match theirs....which in my mind, may come across as trying to keep up with them.

-Dig deeper into why they like such things or how they feel about them etc.

In fact this happened the other day on a Tinder date. Chick told me about yearly trip to Mexico, yearly Paleo festival, yearly road trip she did or will do....note...I travel quite a bit myself.

Curious on your thoughts/suggestions

thanks


This is what you are actually looking for, you have a girl qualifying herself to you, you don't have to match her experiences, in fact to avoid qualification (mentioning things about yourself that she may or may not like and will qualify/disqualify you over) you can simply try to frame it as you are boring and your life is boring and you are not interesting to talk about but she is interesting and you are interested in her as a result. That is your in to ''qualify'' her and hit on her for things you like about her that are not physical.

It's your IN to say ''I like you'' for what ever reason.

As for travel, instead of trying to compare situations with her in an attempt to connect, why don't you suppose future events and ask her how she would feel in situations where both of you were traveling together in the future.

Paint her a picture of what life would be like and how she would be in that life and how amazing it would be.


In short, she's on the date cause she likes you, she wants to impress you so she is talking herself up... if you like her, then be impressed and reward her for trying.


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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 6:54 am 
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Dude.. this is what you want to happen.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 1:19 pm 
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What's the issue here? A girl that has things to say and things that might be of interest to you? Oh shiiiit, that's crazzzzzyyyyyy.



Just listen to her. More than half my lays are when the girls talking her butt off and Im just cooling in the background and helping her move onto towards more sexualized topics.

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