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Lover Vs Provider - the balance?


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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 10:59 am 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLvOqOqaHNY

I've been thinking about this topic for a while. Why is it that women would more easily sleep with the tattooed muscly jerk guy or the poor struggling guitarist with the scruffy clothing, unkept beard and long hair?
She make the squeaky clean financially stable guy jump through hoops and take her on dates before sleeping with him, but with those other guys will open her legs up without hesitation and always be a lot more sexually adventurous.

From experience I've seen many girls leave their nice boyfriends who were stable and go back to their low life bad boy ex.

I'm well off financially. In my 20's, own a house, a cool modified car, motorcycle etc and live in an apartment in the most expensive area in the city. During the week I'm in a suit working my office job (looking clean and sharp) but when I'm out with friends on weekends I'll be dressed in my own style (tattooes/muscles showing, ripped clothing, unshaven/beard, piercings in nose and ears, bracelets, necklaces etc). I have a dark 'punkish' style. I'm a heavy party guy and am often perceived as cocky and playful by girls.

I steer away from conversations (unless I'm drunk) which revolve around my career and financial situation but in my group of friends and in our area i'm known as the motivated and driven high earning guy. You'd never guess by the way I dress that I'm well off but everyone seems to know from others.

Should I attempt to hide these achievements/things? Will they hinder my chances at one night stands and attracting girls?
Or am I at low risk for being put into the "provider" category because of my physical looks and edgy personality?


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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 11:30 am 
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Do you honestly believe a woman that's turned on by you in the moment will think to herself "I'd really fuck this guy but he's just so well off, and that absolutely overrides my desire for him".

The hell man. Stop overthinking. The "providers" are treated the way you describe because the provider role is their angle towards meeting women. They're either too boring or too dull and financial security is their main play.

Just like the plastic surgery'd trophy girl. She's not "used for her body" because she's physically enhanced to look good. She's used for her body because that's all she has to offer.

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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 1:43 pm 
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From experience I've seen many girls leave their nice boyfriends who were stable and go back to their low life bad boy ex.


You need to realize the reason women leave him and don’t find him attractive is because he lacks confidence and feels sorry for himself, so then he concludes that women like to be treated like shit.

You suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome.

It doesn't matter if you're wearing an Affliction T-shirt, or a suit with $100 bills hanging out of the pockets.

It can effect the pimply faced McDonald's fry cook, or the successful buff guy with the tribal tattoo and undercut, it don't matter.

It's a condition where a guy feels he is entitled to dating a girl simply because he has been her friend and let her cry on her shoulder about the jerks. When she is not attracted to him, he chooses to blame it on the fact that he has been a "nice guy" and she only wants to date jerks. Really, not the mentality of a guy who is actually nice, because one should not be kind in the hopes of getting a girl and simply be kind for the sake of being kind or 'nice'. Any guy who tries to guilt women into dating him simply because you are friendly with her or do such nice things, has the mental affliction known as nice guy syndrome.

The nice guy can find plenty of women to do nice things for, but he couldn't find pussy with an Uber.

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 5:34 am 
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some girls feel attracted to tattoos, piercing, some girls to suits..some to uniform and the list goes on, one thing I have been noticing is chicks that like tattoos usually they have at least one maybe a little one but they have one... good approach with those girls is just talk about vain things with them vain things is whatever..you see them at the bar just say hi and make a comment about how the place is packed, or if you see her tattoo say hi and tell her how cute is her tattoo.. don't try to engage a normal conversation because most likely they will go, you can engage into that later when they already feel attracted to you..also this type of girls usually like guys with goatees and sport hats,and long sleeve shirts or button shirt short sleeve, why I don't know lol!


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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 1:25 pm 
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You do too much talking. One night stands are purely based on attraction- a bit of comfort and good logistics. None of that achievement shit. My last one night stand didn't even make it past asking me what I do for a living. I think we just danced and talked about dating/sex. Then we were in my bedroom.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 7:28 pm 
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I recently posted this to another forum member asking why he runs into trouble with women when he's the serious "provider type " not the typical asshole. I think you'll find some answers here:

The fact of the matter is: women are most likely to develop an interest in the guy that's most likely to sleep with them and go. If you're caught in this fantasy that somehow you're the perfect LTR guy because you're serious and not like the rest you're mistaken. The majority of those non serious guys have the girls you're trying to get to trust you and settle down with chasing them left and right, but why?

Because not only is he challenging, he's also realistic. He understands that up until the first 7-12 months you don't really know a girl. So how could he possibly begin projecting long term emotions on someone he does not even know? Someone that's doing the mating dance today because they're interested in him, but will change once they're comfortable. He has the expirience to know better, and the women can trust him easier because he's living in a world that they understand.

When you start projecting heavy romantic feelings onto a girl she begins to ask herself "why". "Why would this guy who appears to have loads of options be interested in me? Especially this soon. He doesn't even know the things about me that are problematic that I know about myself". She then begins to question whether you actually are what you're projecting and will likely conclude not if you keep it up. Women want to obtain the guy that could've of been with anyone, but he choose them. Thats their fantasy. When you just hand them that after 2-5 dates you destroy the fantasy.

Not to mention, the majority of women are willing to sleep with you without being in a relationship. They are also willing to do all the things a girl friend would do without actually being official. So what is it that you as a man gain from a relationship that you don't game from having a woman you're not committed to, that's committed to you? If nothing, why offer commitment for NOTHING in exchange? These are the realistic things women consider all while you're caught in this Hollywood romance fantasy.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 10:04 pm 
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Also don't get too into RSD. It's culty.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 10:18 pm 
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JoeyO1 wrote:
h
I've been thinking about this topic for a while. Why is it that women would more easily sleep with the tattooed muscly jerk guy or the poor struggling guitarist with the scruffy clothing, unkept beard and long hair?


Because they don't kiss her ass.


Quote:
She make the squeaky clean financially stable guy jump through hoops and take her on dates before sleeping with him, but with those other guys will open her legs up without hesitation and always be a lot more sexually adventurous.


Because fitness, confidence, and charming honesty are the most important part of seduction.



Quote:
I'm well off financially. In my 20's, own a house, a cool modified car, motorcycle etc and live in an apartment in the most expensive area in the city. During the week I'm in a suit working my office job (looking clean and sharp) but when I'm out with friends on weekends I'll be dressed in my own style (tattooes/muscles showing, ripped clothing, unshaven/beard, piercings in nose and ears, bracelets, necklaces etc). I have a dark 'punkish' style. I'm a heavy party guy and am often perceived as cocky and playful by girls.

I steer away from conversations (unless I'm drunk) which revolve around my career and financial situation but in my group of friends and in our area i'm known as the motivated and driven high earning guy. You'd never guess by the way I dress that I'm well off but everyone seems to know from others.

Should I attempt to hide these achievements/things? Will they hinder my chances at one night stands and attracting girls?
Or am I at low risk for being put into the "provider" category because of my physical looks and edgy personality?



Owning a home, making good money are not rare or unique things in America. Sure, they are nice achievements, but EVERYONE is capable of this. When I think of high level achievements, I think Oscar nomination, discovering a cure for a disease, NYT bestseller, Pulitzer Prize Winner, MLB player, etc.

What's not so common is a man who knows how to handle an attractive woman.

Most guys don't do well with women for these two reasons:

1. Too try-hard and clingy.
2. They're fat, but don't realize it.

If your waist (measured at the belly button with tape measure) is over 36 inches, you're fat. And if you;re fat, you're going to struggle in the social marketplace.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 10:28 pm 
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Arch can't you just go back to the gym and stay out of this forum?

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 10:33 pm 
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Did I hit a nerve?

You can talk about "inner game" all you want, but if you're a fat ass, you're going to struggle.

PUA is about improving in all areas, each must be treated as important as the other, or the whole system cracks down. Even the smallest improvement in each area has a synergistic effect on your personal evolution and reduces flakes/rejection to the point a man has extreme abundance.

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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 1:38 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Did I hit a nerve?

You can talk about "inner game" all you want, but if you're a fat ass, you're going to struggle.

PUA is about improving in all areas, each must be treated as important as the other, or the whole system cracks down. Even the smallest improvement in each area has a synergistic effect on your personal evolution and reduces flakes/rejection to the point a man has extreme abundance.



False binary fallacy - claiming the only two states of being. In reality physique exists in a rather broad spectrum.

Loaded question fallacy - asking if I hit a nerve is an accusatory question which tries to set up that any argument against you is an admittance of weakness.

And since I've established your argument is weak to begin with I will make my own claim. You are wrong because the entire point of game is to circumvent the classic markers of attraction aka looks money and status. You may be good at playing by those old "rules," but myself and others are good at breaking them. And no, in fact the concept of diminishing marginal returns tells us that incremental changes in input have gradually decreasing changes in output up to and including real losses. For example:

Going from obese to chubby takes a lot of work, and you will see significant dividends. Going from a beer gut to average will take a lot of work and see slightly less change yet overall improvement. Going from average to fit may actually take more work, with slightly less tangible benefit and becoming ripped just isn't worth the trouble if your goal is pickup.

What I see is a guy who read a couple men's fitness articles one weekend and now that preaches orgasms and fitness over talking good game. Fortunately most people can see through your being a hack. Just gotta get the rookies informed early before they think you aren't just plain wrong.

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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 1:44 am 
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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 2:04 am 
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JoeyO1 wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLvOqOqaHNY

I've been thinking about this topic for a while. Why is it that women would more easily sleep with the tattooed muscly jerk guy or the poor struggling guitarist with the scruffy clothing, unkept beard and long hair?
She make the squeaky clean financially stable guy jump through hoops and take her on dates before sleeping with him, but with those other guys will open her legs up without hesitation and always be a lot more sexually adventurous.

From experience I've seen many girls leave their nice boyfriends who were stable and go back to their low life bad boy ex.

I'm well off financially. In my 20's, own a house, a cool modified car, motorcycle etc and live in an apartment in the most expensive area in the city. During the week I'm in a suit working my office job (looking clean and sharp) but when I'm out with friends on weekends I'll be dressed in my own style (tattooes/muscles showing, ripped clothing, unshaven/beard, piercings in nose and ears, bracelets, necklaces etc). I have a dark 'punkish' style. I'm a heavy party guy and am often perceived as cocky and playful by girls.

I steer away from conversations (unless I'm drunk) which revolve around my career and financial situation but in my group of friends and in our area i'm known as the motivated and driven high earning guy. You'd never guess by the way I dress that I'm well off but everyone seems to know from others.

Should I attempt to hide these achievements/things? Will they hinder my chances at one night stands and attracting girls?
Or am I at low risk for being put into the "provider" category because of my physical looks and edgy personality?


I have no idea what your question is here. Youve given your appearance and lifestyle, but no indication on whether this works for you or not. Have you been put in the provider role before? Do women gravitate to you because of your style or money? No idea what the baseline is here.


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 5:10 am 
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Quote:
If your waist (measured at the belly button with tape measure) is over 36 inches, you're fat. And if you;re fat, you're going to struggle in the social marketplace


I don't agree most of guys I know they are over 36 inches and I know a lot that they get laid probably more than a lot of us, women don't really look at that....man is physical..woman is emotional...as long as you have game and know how to treat a woman you can get laid a lot fat or not...opposite I know a few guys that they go 4,5 times a week to the gym and they don't get any pus**y, as long as you dress nice have good personality and social skills you going to get laid.


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 5:23 am 
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nyceboi wrote:
I don't agree most of guys I know they are over 36 inches and I know a lot that they get laid probably more than a lot of us, women don't really look at that....man is physical..woman is emotional...as long as you have game and know how to treat a woman you can get laid a lot fat or not...opposite I know a few guys that they go 4,5 times a week to the gym and they don't get any pus**y, as long as you dress nice have good personality and social skills you going to get laid.



It's not an either/or thing. A dominant male does both...he keeps himself fit, avoids diabetes, slothfulness, and also has good inner game.

Being fit is in the same category as brushing your teeth and wearing decent clothes.

And yes, women do look at it, according to peer reviewed studies:


http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/mus ... ract-women


New research out of UCLA confirms: Women are attracted to muscular guys. A series of six studies found that muscular guys are catnip to women looking for fun, and they have twice as many partners as average Joes and weaklings.

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