Having serious trouble starting and changing conversation topics. Don't have much AA in introducing myself, but I don't approach often as I don't know what I'd speak about or how to keep a convo flowing.

This is in life in general and doesn't just happen when trying to pick up.

I used to be very shy and still see these characteristics come through sometimes. However, not so often if the other person initiates the convo.

Any material I could read to help me improve or any tips I can use while speaking to someone next? Thanks

Any tips?

You ever had a gf where the two of you always had stuff to talk about? You can cultivate that with any woman, any where. Let loose of trying to think about what to say and just riff on whatever's going on. When you do this, you can talk about lint and make it seem fascinating. It's always how you say it rather than what you say. I once got into a convo with a woman with me joking about wanting to be a stewardess on an airplane where she was eating it up.

Thanks. Something I'm trying to work but not getting very far with SPAM. Looking back at things, it seems my biggest problem is starting a topic. No problem introducing myself or saying "Hi". I just don't know where to take it next. For example, could see someone at work in the canteen, will say "Hi, how are you?" and that's it. I don't know where to take it next and just stand there in silence unless they start a convo.

You see someone at the canteen.

You: what's up with that light [[[[note: this is something you'd say to your gf - deliver it as though you're talking to your gf]]]]
Her: I know it's so bright
You: You blind yet?
Her: Almost!
You: I worked at an X where they had a light like that and I snuck into the electrical system and disabled it permanently
Her: hahaha yeah blah blah

Save the introductions until you've got a little back and forth going on - she'll be much more interested to know your name at that point.

For the beginners (not you OP) who think you have to verbally state your intent - it's true that you do - but only IF YOUR DEMEANOR IS THAT OF A BFF. Otherwise, they fucking know that your intent is to do more than have milk and cookies with them should they be down - they're women, not men - they're highly intuitive - as long as you're bringing socially calibrated sexual intent.

Mix things up, keep it loose, talk about WHATEVER is going on in the environment. There are no mundane topics when you as a person are anything but mundane.

Remember: You don't have to "perform" for her; just rap about whatever's going on.

It's much more about your vibe and your easygoing manner, your casual natural sense of humor, your lightheartedness, your willingness to have a little flirt and see where things lead no stirngs attached - than the content of what is coming out of your mouth.

The key is your demeanor. Everything else is secondary.

One other thing: They'll carry the ball a lot of times once they're having rapport with you and this can happen pretty quickly - but even so, expect to have to carry the ball a lot of the time and in any case you'll have to lead the conversation threads. Once you've had your little riff on the first thing, then ask a little about her, tell her a little about you. That's all there is to this stuff. Doesn't have to be a 2 hour convo - you can have a woman aching to see you again in under 5 minutes during the initial contact.

Appreciate you taking the time to answer. It's got me thinking back to times to where conversations have flown more freely and this is due to me being comfortable. Either by being drunk or knowing the person well.

If I'm out of my comfort zone, I worry too much about what I should or shouldn't say as I'm worried to how they'll react. I'll have to work on this as I shouldn't be worried that they'll think badly of me.

Another issue I have though is verbally flirting. Ok with doing it with my actiins, but what would someone say that counts as flirting? Are there certain things you'd say or is it more to do with how you say it? Thanks

Anytime man.
Here's the beautiful secret: You can trick yourself into feeling this way with any girl anywhere anytime: Just convince yourself you already know her.
We're specs of dust. Just go fuck around in a socially calibrated manner. Why not. These women are lusting after some excitement in their lives, just as we are. Bring that light into their lives.
It's all in your demeanor.

"Did you pick that dirt up off the floor?"

Does that look like a flirtatious statement?

Probably not.

But delivered in a flirtatious manner, it can have her immediately locking in with anime eyes. It's on.

Hey, just a quick update. Appreciate your advice and to be honest there seems to have been an improvement this week.

Still early days but things seem to be looking better. Not getting carried away as these are mainly work based and without trying to build attraction. Still a massive improvement for me as I've been the shy guy then the quite guy most of my life.

New girl started working in my office this week and the conversation have been flowing well. She's pretty attractive as well which is a plus. Won't be making a move though as, yeah, fuck that, too much drama.

Also been in group situations where I've spoken accross the room and quite confidently throughout the nights. Might not seem as much to others here, but a big step for me as I'm usually quite while in groups.

Next steps now are as follows:

Control the tone of my voice while speaking. (Usually a problem with hot women, but has happened in other uncomfortable situations as well. Either too quite and they can't hear, or too loud and I make then jump.

Approach a women I'm interested in with the same confidence I've had all week. Engage and see where it goes. Will keep everyone updayed next weel. Thanks