Should I pursue her?
Yes  27%  [ 3 ]
No  73%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 11
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 Post subject: After Rejection
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:06 pm 
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In short I just got rejected by a girl with whom I have been friends with for a very long time. She dropped many hints & IOIs along the way & then rejected me when I asked her out.

I am a student of Architecture & I met this girl in class, let her be HB8. It was 4 years back. We were good friends back then. But then I had a breakup & this HB8 was there for me to hear me out. We chatted through social media through the night, sometimes till dawn. We talked like lovers, expected from each other & had a good time. In class she would come over & we casually flirted. This continued for about 9 months. Then all of a sudden she started to grow a bit of resistance & started calling me friend & bro. So, i decided not be clingy & stopped knocking her or going over to her in class to talk. She asked a few times what is up with me, but i just avoided the question feeling that i was friendzone & i have to move on. Then she started to flirt with my friends in front of me but i gave no reaction. Slowly, whatever we had died.

Then half a year passed like this, we didnt talk if we didnt have to. After that I went for student exchange program for a year. I was seeing other girls at this time, but not too serious. When I came back the friction in between us were gone a bit & we casually talked if our paths crossed. Then out of nowhere, she started to give me IOIs again. Once again I started to feel for her. I started to talk to her again & she reciprocated. It was almost like what we had before, but this time she was a little held back in her approaches.

But i decided to ask her out as she will move out from the city after graduation which is due in a month. But when i asked her out, she not only just rejected me, she acted & said that she was shocked. But i made it clear in my approaches before asking her out & she accepted it & didnt draw a line. She acted shocked & said she had no feelings for me even though she was dropping so many hints & IOIs, & flirted with me.

My question is is she shit testing me or should I just move on?

Thanks if you have read this far & suggest me what I should do.


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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:42 pm 
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Move on, game other girls and forget about her.

She isn't attracted to you right now and although you could make her attracted, you seem to lack either the skill or the experience for it.

Besides she already sees you as NOT an option. If you want to get with her at some point in your life your best bet is to completely remove her from your life at the moment, go game other girls, build experience and skills and maybe later when she sees you with another girl, which should be without doubt better than her (much more beautiful, much more succesful etc) then maybe she will give you the time of day.

Then again if you get at that point I don't know why you would want to downgrade to this girl, but whatever.


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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2016 7:51 am 
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Thanks. Yes, I am trying to get back in the game & talking to other girls. But I can't stop thinking about her & want to get her. Moreover, her friend just confronted me saying, she is very upset & depressed that she lost a special friend. I know that walking away can create attraction, & i have not contacted her since she turned me down. How do I know if she wants me to re-initiate contact?


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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2016 8:38 am 
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Move.
On.

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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 11:47 am 
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You reinitiate contact when you cannot think of her and a future with her. Cant be outcome dependent or else you will always fuck up.

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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 4:59 pm 
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So if I see her next time because we are in the same social circle, should I say hi or do I completely ignore her?


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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 5:07 pm 
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Quote:
So if I see her next time because we are in the same social circle, should I say hi or do I completely ignore her?
Just be normal and unaffected.

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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 8:29 pm 
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Just be normal and unaffected.
Thats easy for you to say Playboy.

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 Post subject: Re: After Rejection
PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2016 3:40 am 
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Disengage but don't end a friendship over something like that. Sounds like you have been friends with this woman for quite sometime and despite the conventional wisdom from around here it will best serve you to bluntly approach and "apologize" to her. Now I am assuming here, that you didn't try anything drastic on her.. If you did, this approach won't work.

You want to approach and say something to the effect of "I'm sorry that I offended you, I do value our friendship and don't want it to change. I had a lapse in judgement, I didn't realize that it was going to turn into a big scene"
However if you pushed hard, or did something dumb like confess your love for her, you're SOL..

From what I can make of this, she gamed you a long time ago and you didn't establish yourself as an option, your best bet at this point is to save face and take ownership. An apology in this regard is the Alpha move and shows that you are enough of a man to settle a situation like one. Don't apologize twice...


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