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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:46 pm 
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Story goes like this:

Gamed a girl. Fucked her a few times, started to really get to know each other, developed a lot of feelings. Turns out she cheated on her ex husband, was unhappy, and sort of went on a binge with guys because of liking all the attention she got. Long story short, she told me some stuff, I cooled it off a bit, and acted more like a friend to her than anything. I needed time to assess if she was gf material after she told me of the red flags.

So, after deliberation, this chick thinks like me to a T. We beat each other to the same punch line, etc. I like it a lot, I like having her even just as a friend. Despite the red flags, I think I'd like to give it a real go with her, because she knows what the red flags were, and says it was a rough patch and she had to work through it. Problem is, now I'm a friend, of my own doing.

It's been a struggle to move out of this because she feels I hurt her when I pulled back. So just gaming her is hard to do. For instance, say she has another guy working on her. If I play cool, she thinks "he doesn't give a shit so I might as well try this new guy out."

The feelings we had complicate the issue. I'm almost thinking going direct and letting the cards fall, but wanted to take a poll before I take a nose dive into an empty pool and make this even harder. Plus if I go direct, could jeapardize a good friendship. What do you think? I'm open to suggestions.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:25 pm 
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Quote:
Story goes like this:

Gamed a girl. Fucked her a few times, started to really get to know each other, developed a lot of feelings. Turns out she cheated on her ex husband, was unhappy, and sort of went on a binge with guys because of liking all the attention she got. Long story short, she told me some stuff, I cooled it off a bit, and acted more like a friend to her than anything. I needed time to assess if she was gf material after she told me of the red flags.

So, after deliberation, this chick thinks like me to a T. We beat each other to the same punch line, etc. I like it a lot, I like having her even just as a friend. Despite the red flags, I think I'd like to give it a real go with her, because she knows what the red flags were, and says it was a rough patch and she had to work through it. Problem is, now I'm a friend, of my own doing.

It's been a struggle to move out of this because she feels I hurt her when I pulled back. So just gaming her is hard to do. For instance, say she has another guy working on her. If I play cool, she thinks "he doesn't give a shit so I might as well try this new guy out."

The feelings we had complicate the issue. I'm almost thinking going direct and letting the cards fall, but wanted to take a poll before I take a nose dive into an empty pool and make this even harder. Plus if I go direct, could jeapardize a good friendship. What do you think? I'm open to suggestions.
I currently have a relationship with a very hot MILF, I've fucked her in the beginning, and later on.
Quote:
I'm almost thinking going direct and letting the cards fall,
Somewhere in the middle I did THIS. It almost ruined the friendship, and the fucking FOREVER!

To recover I had to freeze out for 4 months, then COMPLETELY re-game.....fuck her, and now back to BFFs LMAO!

Now SHE is going through a man parade!

My theory......no one can equal ME! Hahahaha!

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm 
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Thanks heywood.

Your experience is noted. That answered, next question.

She has a contractor working at her house. Being divorced, she has kids half the time, not yesterday. I was talking to her at 8PM on my way home from work, her contractor calls and asks what kind of ice cream she wants.

I played it cool, and let it slide, but I know no contractors who work that late and bring ice cream to their customers at 8PM on a night when she does't have her kids.

This was the catalyst for my post. I played it cool, but am was wondering if that's going to work if she gets the idea that I just don't give a shit, why not take on with the local handyman. :)

I'll abide by your advice and treat it like a normal game.

Thanks.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:00 pm 
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Are you familiar with freaks, ho's and good girls theory? I'm thinking she has freak tendencies and is probably NOT long term relationship material (unless you can handle shit tests and you don't get jealous or insecure about other guys). Also, she WILL make your life more dramatic.. because drama gets her your attention and she likes attention.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:55 pm 
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Quote:
Are you familiar with freaks, ho's and good girls theory? I'm thinking she has freak tendencies and is probably NOT long term relationship material (unless you can handle shit tests and you don't get jealous or insecure about other guys). Also, she WILL make your life more dramatic.. because drama gets her your attention and she likes attention.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf
Wow! Wolf you fkn nailed that one! $10 bucks says she has already said "I am not about the drama!" several times! LMAO

As to this:
Quote:
contractors who work that late and bring ice cream to their customers at 8PM on a night when she does't have her kids.
She is either fucking him, or he is an orbiter and she's mind fucking him! LOL

Freaks figure out early ...they can get a lot done with their pussies. From an ice cream sunday, to a drywall job!

Good luck Bro!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:24 pm 
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Wolf,

No, I'm not familiar with the freaks, hos, and good girls theory. Is there a post or link you can provide?

Typically, I am not a jealous guy. I backed away from the red flags, but as a friend, found myself with a little jealousy when she let me in on what's going on with her. In short, she sort of trusted me with friend information. Almost a shit test in itself to see if I really just want to be a good friend, or if I want to fuck her ad all the rest.

If I'm jealous, it shows interest, and she knows what I want, but she has control then. If I act cool and don't care, then I'm a friend she can confide in, and she fucks him, while I get to hear all about it.

It's a cock sucker when you back away from red flags, but you still like the woman for the person she is. She knows she was a whore for awhile, admits it, and is real about it. I guess I admire that if nothing else.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:21 pm 
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Quote:
Freaks, Hoes and Good Girls

Hopefully this is a recap for most of you. The theory has been around the community for a long time. I personally have found it to be very helpful when dealing with women. The main idea is that different types of girls want different things from their relationships. Most girls fall easily into one of these three categories. Guys should be able to figure out what type they are dealing with and act accordingly.

Good Girls - Girls who are happy in relationships when their significant other is happy. These girls will tend to go out of their way to do nice things for their guys: cook, clean, give them gifts, play out their sexual fantasies, etc. They are the easiest type to maintain a long term relationship with because they make it fairly easy for the guy.

Freaks
- Girls who are happy in relationships when they receive attention and strong emotional states. This is the type guys fall for the quickest, because they generally come off as very vulnerable. This type thrives on validation, both positive and negative. They cause a lot of drama, are more likely to cheat on you (sex is a form of validation), and usually have some form of daddy issues. These are also the type of women who tend to stay in abusive relationships. Guys, don’t get into serious relationships with these types of girls unless you really know what you’re doing. The way to make this work is for the guy to be able to inject a steady amount of drama into the relationship (or find some way to give her strong emotional states).

Hoes - Kind of self-explanatory. These girls are happiest when they are receiving material resources (money, gifts, etc) from guys. They are only interested in dating high-status guys or guys who show a willingness to buy them things. When you meet them, they will probably ask you about your job, what car you drive and/or where you live. They will relentlessly tool a guy over to get what they want. They’ll try to get you to pay for everything. The best way to have a long term relationship with a girl like this is to play the “pimp”. Don’t put up with any of that stuff.. Be clear that she’s going to have to pay for her crap if she wants any chance of seeing you. Be fine with her tooling over her orbiters or get her to tool over her orbiters for your benefit (I.e. send her up to the bar to get you free drinks from AFC‘s).

In conclusion, if you’re goal is an easy drama-free relationship, then stick to good girls. If you like a challenge and/or really know what you are doing, then try the other ones. However, you got to have great game to make it work with the other types. The freak’s petty drama and the ho’s attempts to tool you over for money are just forms of shit-tests. If you fail the shit tests, then these types will eat you alive (I learned this lesson the hard way, like most guys).

Low self-esteem vs. High self-esteem

Low self-esteem girls tend to sabotage their own relationships. They tend to assume other people think of them the same way they think about themselves. They tend to think you’re going to leave them eventually anyway so they will act out to test that theory. They do not make good long-term relationship candidates.

High drive vs. low drive


Don’t get into a long term relationship with somebody who has a lower sex drive than you do. It’s just not a good idea. Try to screen for people without sexual hang-ups. Personally, I would not consider a serious relationship with a girl who isn’t at least somewhat open-minded about sex. I also would not date somebody who would use sex as a bargaining chip.

RED FLAGS (I HAVE PERSONALLY ENCOUNTERED)

- History of drug abuse and or alcoholism
- history of poor decision making (like a long line of douche bag ex-boyfriends)
- seems to be in a constant state of crisis
- history of depression (un-medicated or not good at keeping up with the medication) or has a mother who’s mentally ill
- works as a stripper
- unwillingness to give and/or receive oral sex (I.e. has sexual hang-ups)
- history of past sexual abuse
- thinks masturbation is gross (opinions may vary on this one)
- Assumes you will pay for everything and/or disappears to the bathroom every time a check arrives.

EDIT: Some additions Richard Pryor listed, that I really liked:

- No friends
- Some form of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Bad relationship with her parents, especially her father
- History of eating disorder (anorexia/bulimia)

I’m sure I can think of lot more if I tried. Be cautious when you see girls with these qualities.

In the future, when you ask a question on the forums about a particular situation, then it would help us if you let us know what kind of girl you are dating. For example, I am dating a high-drive, high self-esteem good girl. That should already tell you a lot about her personality. Incidentally, she’s pretty awesome and we don’t really ever have issues even after a year and four months.

EDIT 2: Further reading - Dogsoldier's fantastic post about Freaks, Hoes and Good Girls. The post focuses on how to spot the different types in a club scene and how to pick them up.

http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion ... 32&fid=173

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:52 am 
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ahh, jesus

i always end up with freaks

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:08 pm 
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I have literally never dated a girl who wasn't a freak. If you ask me, they're more exciting than good girls which is why I get them, but relationships are real hard and frankly I do not have the game and self confidence to maintain a "proper" relationship with a girl like that.

In my days as a total AFC (rather than the slightly less average and slightly less frustrated chump that I am now) I really had my heart broken by girls like this because I had no clue. Freaks are the girls who will leave you totally confused and searching for some kind of logical reason as for why they broke up with you until you realise it's just better to leave it and not now.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:51 pm 
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Freaks are typiclly hotter; therefore we gravitate to them.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:23 am 
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Quote:
Story goes like this:

Gamed a girl. Fucked her a few times, started to really get to know each other, developed a lot of feelings. Turns out she cheated on her ex husband, was unhappy, and sort of went on a binge with guys because of liking all the attention she got. Long story short, she told me some stuff, I cooled it off a bit, and acted more like a friend to her than anything. I needed time to assess if she was gf material after she told me of the red flags.
Assess if she is GF material after she cheated on her ex husband and told you about the binge she went on with guys because (assumably) of how LSE she is?

Up your standards brosef... She just told you she's an attention whoring LSE cheater... what other redflags do you need?

Now -- there's always the chance ex husband created this situation for himself, and that you could manage her better, etc etc but in reality, a lot of girls aren't good at changing and you shouldn't have to work at changing her to fit the frame and work at raising her self esteem so that everything works.

More importantly, you want to worry every time any little thing pops up that she's fucking around on you?
Quote:
So, after deliberation, this chick thinks like me to a T. We beat each other to the same punch line, etc. I like it a lot, I like having her even just as a friend. Despite the red flags, I think I'd like to give it a real go with her, because she knows what the red flags were, and says it was a rough patch and she had to work through it. Problem is, now I'm a friend, of my own doing.
Your mind is messing with you man. Go fuck another girl and don't see this girl/look at her facebook or other profile/text her/if you think about it, just beat one off and decide whether you still feel that way (seriously, your balls will think for you sometimes)

"Despite the red flags"? Is that like saying, "Despite signs that so and so is going to steal from me, I want him to live with me" or "Despite the signs that so and so is going to try to stab me when he gets drunk, I'd love to get drunk with him"

Just trying to draw analogies so you can see what you're doing to yourself.
Quote:
It's been a struggle to move out of this because she feels I hurt her when I pulled back. So just gaming her is hard to do. For instance, say she has another guy working on her. If I play cool, she thinks "he doesn't give a shit so I might as well try this new guy out."

The feelings we had complicate the issue. I'm almost thinking going direct and letting the cards fall, but wanted to take a poll before I take a nose dive into an empty pool and make this even harder. Plus if I go direct, could jeapardize a good friendship. What do you think? I'm open to suggestions.
If the friendship is super high quality, then keep her as a friend, hang out with her, try to get her to wingman for you. If she's decent, you can get even hotter girls just by having her around. She might even turn into good FB material and want to fuck you more if you're trying to hook up with other girls.

I say -- just be careful. I'm not trying to be harsh, just to open your eyes a bit to the things you're saying to yourself that might be part of the problem.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2012 2:26 am 
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ohtown77 is right.

All that we're seeing here is cat string theory in play. You want her because someone else has her. She has all these other options and you're limiting yourself to this chick only.

She is most definitely not gf material unless you want drama just as wolf has showed us. Think about it dude, she cheated on her husband! You need to go out and game girls that don't have kids and not as fucked up!

good luck.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:17 pm 
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I agree with ohtown77

It doesn't seem like a good idea to put in the effort to try and get this woman in a relationship with you since the chances of a happy relationship with her are very small. At this moment she is holding the string and you seem to be chasing.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:25 pm 
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You guys are speaking the truth.

I had emotional attachment, and that was clouding my judgement. I took the advice, and minutes after blowing a nut into another chicks ass I was thinking to myself, "What the fuck was I thinking."

Sometimes a guy just needs to hear the truth. And I prefer to hear it plainly stated, not mellowed down and covered in bullshit. Thanks for the help.


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