Saturday, July 5, 2014
So I don't think I'll have time to go into everything as I wanted to in yesterday's FR. I also don't really want to discuss everything in too much detail because I find it's best to force yourself not to get too caught up to ever really care about anything. But what happened today, was we all woke up around noon. pFAc, America Ferrera, and I had slept like 11 hours. The two of them started drinking, and then we went downstairs to the casino. They wanted to gamble. I couldn't even sit at the table because I currently have a temporary paper ID until my permanent one comes in the mail in a few days. They went to the slots. I left because I wanted to walk around on my own and because I wasn't even about to act clingy and hang around when I wasn't participating in the gambling. (I've never gambled btw.)
After a while, I went back to the casino with them and started drinking. Then pFAc and I went to eat lunch at Margaritaville. It was really good. I once again felt like I was living like a pimp. When you really take the time to analyze it, I do live like a fucking pimp. I'm constantly doing something, going out to eat, going out partying, hanging out with girls. I'm boss, though it may seem like I haven't lived the most extravagantly in terms of game for the past month or so. But I have still been living extravagantly in general, let me assure you.
After lunch, we met up with America Ferrara at the hotel. Then pFAc's "best friend" and his cousin came up. We all drank and hungout. pFAc started to get drunk after a while. Then I noticed she was talking almost exclusively with her "best friend". Several times when I started to talk to her, she even put up her finger and continued talking with homeboy before turning to me. Whoa. At one point, she also mentioned some sort of scandal involving her younger sister. I think she had gotten preggo or something. She talked with homie about it. I wanted to test that shit so I asked what was the story, and she told me she didn't want to talk about it. Whoa! Then I noticed she was standing so close to homie as he sat on the bed that their legs were touching. WHOA! Finally--and this is where I got really pissed--I peeped the two of them speaking very quietly together and very close together. I was sitting about two feet away on the other mattress, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Shit didn't feel right. And to me, it almost sounded like pFAc whispered something like, "Tonight?" to which homeboy replied, "Send [VP] home." WHOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if this is what I heard for sure. I was drunk and may have been tripping/overreacting. But I know the shit fucking bothered me so I called Enso and went out into the hallway to talk.
After a few minutes of being on the phone, sure enough, pFAc and "best friend" come out into the hallway and get into the elevator. I swore I almost even saw her grab dude's hand and pull him in, but again I couldn't see for sure. I was too far away. I told Enso on the phone, "Yo, what the fuck?!" I blitzed down the hallway and got another elevator to the casino downstairs. I didn't see them anywhere though.
I went back up to the room after looking around for a minute and asked where pFAc was. Homie's cousin said she went with "best friend" to get the pizza. (Everyone had ordered a pizza earlier.) Maybe I was tripping. Maybe I was slipping. I just commented on Tr@v's FR thread that relationships are not worthy of tripping. But I am bound to this girl, at least for a little while, while we are FUCKING MARRIED. Therefore I feel I'm allowed to trip a little.
I went back in the hallway and talked to Enso about everything that had just happened. I went into the room a few minutes later, and pFAc and "best friend" were in there alone, fucking in my goddamn bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just kidding.
Lol! No, but what really happened when I got back in there, was that they were all back and the pizza really was there. I could have just been tripping out. I don't know. I can't say for sure, and I definitely do NOT trust pFAc when she's drunk as I don't trust any girl who's been drinking so I can't say for sure.
Anyway I was quiet as fuck the rest of the night. I was upset with pFAc and didn't particularly want to talk to her. I told Enso on the phone that I was gonna cheat on her in front of her face, but, after I chilled out for a minute, I couldn't force myself to do it. We all got ready and went out to some nightclub. I don't know which one it was because I was so shitfaced. I almost fought some dude at the bar when I went up because he said I cut his girl and his friends. I haven't busted in days and I was pissed so I was aggressive tonight. I told him I didn't give a fuck, and, when somebody put their hand on my shoulder, I swatted that shit off and told the motherfucker not to touch me. When I turned around, I saw that it was pFAc trying to pull me back. I apologized. I didn't know it was her. The bartender gave me a free shot to diffuse that shit and homies and I walked in opposite directions.
A little while later, I threw up in the bathroom. I went outside and pFAc had bought us drinks. I kept downing them. Dangerous shit. She didn't know I had thrown up. We went to the patio and I continued to make fun of several fat girls who were dancing with America Ferrera just to be an ass. pFAc kept pleading with me to stop being mean. The fat girls started dancing with three dudes who I guess America Ferrera knows. I peeped one of the homies, this stunted-growth motherfucker, try to talk to pFAc once or twice. pFAc turned to him each time and laughed at whatever he was saying. She told me he was gay and that there was nothing to worry about. He did look and seem gay, but I wasn't gonna fuck with that shit anyway. I grabbed pFAc's hand and drug her inside to dance.
We went outside after a while because she wanted to talk to me about what was wrong with me. I didn't want to talk, but I finally confessed mad beta (Sorry, homies.) that I had overheard her speaking with her "best friend" about some shit and that I swore homeboy said to send me home. She said she had no idea what I was talking about, and I asked her if she had ever hooked up with dude. She said she had absolutely never done anything with him nor has she ever found him attractive. You guys know I don't fully trust any of it, but whatever. You put that shit out of mind, and after a while nothing bothers you.
At some point, she asked how many girls I have had sex with. She's asked this several times before, and each time I have always deflected answering. Maybe it was because I was mad and wanted to hurt her by telling her my number, maybe it was because I felt I should be honest with her since we were married, but I told her my number, which is somewhat high but not nearly as high as some players I know (my number is below 40). pFAc freaked the fuck out, said I was disgusting, and almost cried. I told her what the fuck, it wasn't like I banged so many chicks when I knew her
, resorting to that typical bullshit any slut will drop on you when you bring up her fucked up past. It's bad. I've never been on the other end of it until recently. In the past, I was the one who tripped about girls for being "slutty" before me. Now I'm an animal, so much so that even girls who a lot of dudes would classify as sluts (ahem, Splits) can't even comprehend my sluttiness. I've outslutted most sluts there are. But pFAc continued to be fucked up. She gets a little fucked up, the shit she says, when she's been drinking. I would never be verbally mean to a girl, I don't care how pissed I was. pFAc said, "Oh, well, it's a good thing my ex-boyfriend just added me on Instagram." I literally said out loud, "Whoa." As soon as she said it, I wanted to fucking pull her back inside to where her friends were, grab the first girl I saw, and makeout as fuck with her in front of all of them. I wanted to tell her about the middleman kiss I laid on her ass as she was buying me a beer out of the kindness in her heart a few months ago. I wanted to tell her that I fucked multiple girls minutes before having her come over and that I never showered or brushed my teeth in between. But I didn't want to be mean. And the PUA in me kicked back in and told me not to care about anything, not to say anything detrimental; that, by doing so, it would have been a sign of betaness, that burning a bridge with her or ANY girl for ANY reason would have been and is usually a bad, bad idea. I was pissed, yes, but I couldn't force myself to be too mad at her. It's not that I've gone soft. It's not that I've gone beta or AFC. It's that I married her, for fuck's sake. As soon as everything is figured out, trust me, I'm going ham as fuck on her with other girls purely because she said that one sentence, purely because I didn't trust her when she said she never hooked up with "best friend" homie. But while I'm married to her, I can't do it. I respect it too much.
We walked back to the hotel, hand-in-hand still (for whatever reason), quiet as fuck. I refused to talk with her the rest of the night. When we got back, everybody else was already there. I wanted to see if pFAc would do something fucked up like climb into homie's bed. I wouldn't put it past her at that point. But she never did. She got into bed with me at the end of the night. I didn't cuddle her. We fell asleep.
Overall day: still no game. Had somewhat of an argument with pFAc. I don't like it when she drinks. Gah, I sound so bitchmade.