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Johnny Providence
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Posts: 38
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 Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:57 pm Post subject: friend zone question |
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| So I lost 230 pounds and I've been told im good looking now by several people. When I see old high school friends who I have not seen in years, they are all floored by my weight loss. In the past I was always in friend zone with them, and my question is am I still in that zone with them? |
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Rythms
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 108
Location: Hollywood
Reputation: 19.4
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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| That's up to you and what you do with it. If you act like a friend, then you will just be a friend. But if you act like the prize, and something that is desired then that is what you will be. Congrats on the weight loss, why not kill two birds with one stone and use it to your advantage. It's good for DHV. |
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Johnny Providence
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Posts: 38
Reputation: 30.6
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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ahhhh yeah that has always been my problem. i have been watching the pick up artist, and i see myself being the joe d if he lost weight. i always act like a friend and have trouble because of it. i always smile and compliment when i should be acting like im not interested and negging.
what would be a good way to react to the compliments as the prize would, in a non friend way? |
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Ka
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 983
Location: philly
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votes: 15
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| Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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I have a method i use for how i filter compliments from people.
First off i have realized that i now have the power to either accept or deny their compliment, either allowing or disallowing them to valdate me. I randomize how i respond...basically pick and chose.
It is also very simple how i do this. If i accept it i simply give a sincere thanks, either alone or with my typical response attached to it. If i deny it i make a statement about the topic but in such a way that displays i dont need their validation. Basically a comment that ignores their compliment but not the topic.
Ill use the example i got the most, which was my sudden change in physical appearence.
THEM: "You look great/hansom/healthy/good/etc."
Accepting:
ME: "Thanks, i feel great too." or "Thanks." or "Thanks, i think its important for people to reflect how they feel."
Deny:
ME: "I feel great too." or "Yea, i think its important for people to reflect how they feel."
Notice how my denying acknoledges their observation but doesnt reward them for their validation. It also does not allow for them to give another opinion, and doesnt come accross as if im blowing their compliment off.
You could use this method for dealing with any compliment or string of compliments, accept ones you feel are genuine and deny some just so you dont constantly allow their validation.
The times you deny you can go right into a DHv story afterwards too. |
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