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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 6:56 pm 
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I went on one date with this girl who is kinda fat (that's all I am getting right now, just a newbie)...anyway, she was super flaky coming up with different excuses every time and not replying for long...but we finally did meet up for one date...the date went pretty fine and we planned up the second date during the first date itself...During the end I could clearly see that she wanted to kiss me but I had forgotten my mint and had eaten some heavy meat (rookie mistakes - dinner date + no mint -- will never make them again) so I didn't go for it and could see her a bit disappointed...

she canceled the second date and gave some random reason bla bla...then kept saying she is busy...then I asked her once clearly if she wanted to meet again and she acted very sad (on text) that I thought she didn't want to meet again...I fell for it again and said, didn't want to hurt u and let's meet up again for which she again flaked...she sent me another reply asking saying can we meet again later as she is busy with some progress report...

This was yesterday and I havent replied her yet...So, my final question is what should I do now ?...I'm dating other chicks simultaneously (get like 4-5 dates per week :) ) also so that's not a problem...but i think she was into me and kinda had a cute face so worth pursuing...also, given that she was so flaky in date 1, it's probably in her nature (she's a doctor)...

any help highly appreciated !!

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:14 pm 
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I'm dating other chicks simultaneously (get like 4-5 dates per week :) ) also so that's not a problem...but i think she was into me and kinda had a cute face so worth pursuing...also, given that she was so flaky in date 1, it's probably in her nature (she's a doctor)...
Then what's the problem? If you have a rotating door of girls and dates, forget this dud and focus on the ones who actually want to see you.

Honestly, continuing to ask her out and getting flaked on each time just makes you look like you'll accept that behavior and that it's fine for her to do it.

Break contact... See if she comes back.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:22 pm 
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yeah, that was natural reaction too. Ok, I will wait and see if I get any replies...Do you think I should message her again if I don't get any replies for 1 week ?


The reason why I want to meet her is because it's been a long time since I got some action and the other girls I am meeting may not work out...usually, my probability of getting a second date is still pretty low..I am working on my game and hopefully will see improvements soon...


p.s. - currently, I am mostly meeting chicks online (figured out the online game quite well); hence the flakes after date 1...i am going to start sarging in real life soon...

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The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:32 pm 
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Do you think I should message her again if I don't get any replies for 1 week?
No offence man - I know you're just starting out, but this sounds really desperate... Which of you is running the show if you do this?

She's (non verbally) telling you that her time is more important than yours, and she's disrespecting you by flaking repeatedly... Why waste another second on her? You have other girls on the go. Focus on them.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:38 pm 
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yeah, you are right. Point taken !

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:39 pm 
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During the end I could clearly see that she wanted to kiss me but I had forgotten my mint and had eaten some heavy meat (rookie mistakes - dinner date + no mint -- will never make them again) so I didn't go for it and could see her a bit disappointed...
You didn't kiss a girl because you had meat for dinner? Dude, I know you're new to this but WTF? I won't even go into beta/alpha labels, but No. Just No. That bit about the mint is the lamest thing I've heard in a while.

I'm taking it the 4-5 potential dates per week is first dates. (Or you wouldn't be hung up on this chick.) You look goofy enough now to this girl so you need to drop out of contact. If she texts you again, wonderful. If not, she's not interested. I'm expecting she won't because you appear to have consistently demonstrated that your time is not valuable. But that's alright, chalk it up to experience and move on.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:46 pm 
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alright, seems like I need to change a lot of things...

what do you think is the right behavior ?

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The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:20 pm 
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alright, seems like I need to change a lot of things...

what do you think is the right behavior ?
Here are my notes on things I'd change...

#1 You went out with a girl who you're not attracted to... Some people will tell you it's good to start practicing on anyone but I think if you're not even attracted to the girl then that's a waste of your time.

#2 She was super flaky coming up with different excuses every time and not replying for long...If you're not sexting, I'd have dropped her right here. Flaky means low interest, you can find someone who is interested.

#3 The date went pretty fine and we planned up the second date during the first date itself... I never do this. I wouldn't do this. It communicates the message that you're free all the time, it also comes off a bit needy/creepy. Maintain mystery, don't discuss the future. We live in dangerous times. You might have to go on the war path and kick ass which means you might not be around later. It communicates you have high value.

#4 The mint bullshit... Always be closing. The fact that you are insecure enough that you worry your breath might stink is ridiculous.

#5 She cancelled a date then you asked her out again... That makes you look low value and needy. Very much so.

#6 You told her that you didn't want to hurt her. This line works only sometimes. This line does not work in that situation. It makes you look soft and not strong.

Also, you're not really "dating" chicks. You're going on first dates with chicks. Otherwise you wouldn't be all hung up about this. I'm of the school that says you aren't "dating" a chick until you're hooking up with her.

This girl might have been into you in the beginning, but her flakiness and your fumbling of the situation has likely killed off any attraction she might have had.

What do you do now? You keep going. You don't text this chick. You let her come to you. Anything else on your part right now further tarnishes her image of you.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:08 pm 
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Quote:
alright, seems like I need to change a lot of things...

what do you think is the right behavior ?
Here are my notes on things I'd change...

#1 You went out with a girl who you're not attracted to... Some people will tell you it's good to start practicing on anyone but I think if you're not even attracted to the girl then that's a waste of your time.


#2 She was super flaky coming up with different excuses every time and not replying for long...If you're not sexting, I'd have dropped her right here. Flaky means low interest, you can find someone who is interested.

#3 The date went pretty fine and we planned up the second date during the first date itself... I never do this. I wouldn't do this. It communicates the message that you're free all the time, it also comes off a bit needy/creepy. Maintain mystery, don't discuss the future. We live in dangerous times. You might have to go on the war path and kick ass which means you might not be around later. It communicates you have high value.

#4 The mint bullshit... Always be closing. The fact that you are insecure enough that you worry your breath might stink is ridiculous.

#5 She cancelled a date then you asked her out again... That makes you look low value and needy. Very much so.

#6 You told her that you didn't want to hurt her. This line works only sometimes. This line does not work in that situation. It makes you look soft and not strong.

Also, you're not really "dating" chicks. You're going on first dates with chicks. Otherwise you wouldn't be all hung up about this. I'm of the school that says you aren't "dating" a chick until you're hooking up with her.

This girl might have been into you in the beginning, but her flakiness and your fumbling of the situation has likely killed off any attraction she might have had.

What do you do now? You keep going. You don't text this chick. You let her come to you. Anything else on your part right now further tarnishes her image of you.

Hey, thanks for the long reply. really appreciate it.
1,2,3,5 - all result of not having been dated for a long time + I am living in a country where foreigners are not tolerated very well when it comes to dating. I have made changes, but they will take some time to fully reflect in all my personality.
4- agreed was dumb and lame.
6- yeah, she got me. I am so gullible, especially when it comes to girls. Hopefully, it will go away in time.

About dating - I agree...I have just fixed my online game yet. Although, I have gamed girls earlier in real life (may not look like it from this post :P), but they haven't been in the country I am living in right now...things will take some time to recalibrate...

working on it hard now though !!

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The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:23 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
alright, seems like I need to change a lot of things...

what do you think is the right behavior ?
Here are my notes on things I'd change...

#1 You went out with a girl who you're not attracted to... Some people will tell you it's good to start practicing on anyone but I think if you're not even attracted to the girl then that's a waste of your time.


#2 She was super flaky coming up with different excuses every time and not replying for long...If you're not sexting, I'd have dropped her right here. Flaky means low interest, you can find someone who is interested.

#3 The date went pretty fine and we planned up the second date during the first date itself... I never do this. I wouldn't do this. It communicates the message that you're free all the time, it also comes off a bit needy/creepy. Maintain mystery, don't discuss the future. We live in dangerous times. You might have to go on the war path and kick ass which means you might not be around later. It communicates you have high value.

#4 The mint bullshit... Always be closing. The fact that you are insecure enough that you worry your breath might stink is ridiculous.

#5 She cancelled a date then you asked her out again... That makes you look low value and needy. Very much so.

#6 You told her that you didn't want to hurt her. This line works only sometimes. This line does not work in that situation. It makes you look soft and not strong.

Also, you're not really "dating" chicks. You're going on first dates with chicks. Otherwise you wouldn't be all hung up about this. I'm of the school that says you aren't "dating" a chick until you're hooking up with her.

This girl might have been into you in the beginning, but her flakiness and your fumbling of the situation has likely killed off any attraction she might have had.

What do you do now? You keep going. You don't text this chick. You let her come to you. Anything else on your part right now further tarnishes her image of you.

Hey, thanks for the long reply. really appreciate it.
1,2,3,5 - all result of not having been dated for a long time + I am living in a country where foreigners are not tolerated very well when it comes to dating. I have made changes, but they will take some time to fully reflect in all my personality.
4- agreed was dumb and lame.
6- yeah, she got me. I am so gullible, especially when it comes to girls. Hopefully, it will go away in time.

About dating - I agree...I have just fixed my online game yet. Although, I have gamed girls earlier in real life (may not look like it from this post :P), but they haven't been in the country I am living in right now...things will take some time to recalibrate...

working on it hard now though !!
You're welcome.

One last thing, I hate the word "game." "Game" implies tricking a woman. Think of things more like an art. Be honest. Be direct. Be strong. Be sincere. Don't fool women. Don't trick women. That's lame. And it's not even guaranteed to get you laid. Secure, solid, slow game works better than anything.


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