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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 3:13 pm 
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OK, so this was actually my first attempt at sarging. It's also an extremely major turning point in my life since I've done something I never felt I could do. Actually go to a loud nightclub and tolerate that place for a while without running out from the noise. This isn't to say that I absolutely love it, but I have to admit, when they played some songs that I recognized and loved, I couldn't help but perk up at them.

So I spend the earlier night just studying and listening to 'out of control' by both Sabaton and Battle Beast, it was an fucking awesome song and it made me feel really good. When I left my apartment I was talking to my sister on the phone, describing to her what I wanted to do and the direction I wanted to carry my life. It was a typical 'I regret not being able to do this in my 20s' type deal, as much as everyone tells me that it isn't too bad and there are tons of people in their late 30s and 40s that are still gaming like maniacs with girls 20-35, it's something that's likely to bother me for a while, at least until maybe I do get a few girls I want and as hard as I try, it's something I have to deal with for the foreseeable future,

Anyway, in Montreal, there was a major concert going on in Downtown, so the nightclubs were mildly empty, at least when I first came in. When I entered the bar, the first thing I did was scope the place. It was a cool joint, I heard that the people there were more open minded and not snooty like in some other places. I actually seemed like that originally, since the two guys I originally spoke with were fairly open to some stranger walking in. In fact, in the bar area, no one seemed to give a damn about me walking up to them and I probably could have sat down and drank with people and did shit without an issue. This is a good thing. I think I'll be coming back to the bar in an attempt to sarge again some time in the future, and I want to avoid any 'incidents'.

I flew solo, no wingman since he was busy with his dance videos (he's a mad, mad, mad dancer). So the first girl I approached was alone by a table football thingie. I asked her if she was having a great time, she said yes she was, and was actually pretty open to talking. She was much more French than me, so communicating would be harder. At any rate, she was pretty receptive... but she had a boyfriend, who came down there and... we started playing table football together.

She even paid for it, it was a 2 vs 1, so I predictably lost, but at least it was a good time. I approached another group of people at a table. One of those guys was completely chill and wearing an aviator's helmet with goggles. I had a chat with them and since I'm a WW2 buff, I indentified the goggles as RAF type, but the flight helm had more in common with WW1 era since it didn't have pockets for radio headsets. They were actually kinda amused at the whole thing.

They told me where I could go and enter the main music/disco place, I paid the fee and went upstairs. The place was mostly empty at the time due to the concert outside. The first thing I did, like downstairs, is scope the place. I tried to act cool while doing it, or at least not seem out of place. The beer in the place was ridiculesly cheap. I had found me one of those legendary 1 dollar beer joints I heard about 10 years ago. Anyway, I had a beer, which was a mistake that I will elaborate on later.

I went over to the main dance area and I danced aroudn a little. I noticed that the people there rarely moved out of their own group. The insecurity of being the 'creepy old guy' came to me again when I wondered if they were moving away from me or just didn't care. I had some bumps in with some people, but they did move away a little after. Some groups would dance and immediately run out, so I didn't know if it was me or not.

I walked over to the second bar there where I met a group of girls that there, they would be the only real negative experience that night. There was another chubby girl on her own. I asked her where he friends are... and she took me to introduce my to them. I tried to dance with them for a few minutes, but the girls were far more interested in dancing with each other, and they eventually went up to the stage to dance there.

I danced a bit, but I eventually realized that I need to do something more proactive in order to get their attention. Sure I might have been better dressed than some guys, but I wasn't so out of place that they're notice. I had three beers in total, and this caused a major problem.

I'm an alcohol lightweight. Even after a decent meal, I can get hammered really fast and this isn't a good thing. Noticeably in my interactions with that group of girls by the bar. They didn't want to leave their spot, but some did and went places. Eventually I tried to game one, but needless to say it didn't go well, she hated me for not giving an adequate tip for the guy (and even more when I did tip the guy), eventually I decided I hated them and showed her and her friends the condom I had in my pocket. They gestured for me to jack off, and I gestured for them to go fuck themselves.

I need I had to clear my head, and this is why I will never drink more than one beer if I absolutely have to in a bar. I came back down to the quieter first floor and sat next to a girl, telling her about my headache and feeling like I was going to pass out. The interaction was neutral and OK, her drunk BF came, but like the first GF/BF interaction, it was a chill affair, no problems at all. At that point I was assessing what I was doing and not doing right. I asked the girl how people meet each other there and how they met each other. The drunken conversation he gave made very little sense.

Thankfully, within minutes my head cleared up and I was remarkably sober (three beers isn't a lot, and while the hit was tough it wasn't long before I could go up and talk again.

I'm going to keep this brief. I did try to isolate some girls. I did succeed at doing it at least once, but the girl was immediately yanked away by another girl who waved at me. I did chat up another pair of girls, both hair dressers and aged 22. The conversation went fine (I had a hard time remembering one of their names)... they asked me questions, what I did, where I was from, what my name was. No major IOIs or hair twirling, not much dillation of the pupils that I could see, but the interaction was there. They did reject being in a photo with me... and then the question of how old I was came up.

They guessed 27, I cracked a joke that I was really 40... and I think they took it seriously, because the second girl immediately pulled her away and made her rush to the dance room. I was left confused as to why they did that, was it because they believed I was 40 years old? It was weird and not something I fully understood. Or maybe it was the photograph attempt... or the fact that the other girl wasnt' talking and was the designed cockblock? I don't know.

The other thing they did ask about is why I was alone. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I did notice that it is kinda weird to be alone in a place like that... sadly it's something I have to deal with, and yes... with all the girls being taken away by other girls, I will need to work on some major isolation skills if I am to do this without a wingman. To be honest, while this is my first attempt and I think I will get better with practice, it's going to be tough, especially when dealing with a younger crowd that might not be so open to guys 10+ years older than them (yep, it's that again!)

I did chat up some more girls, groups of girls, and other stuff. Didn't make any attempts at pick up, because by that point I was getting really tired and wanted to go home. I had one final chat with a pair of girls who were there on vacation, one of them was 28, the other was 19... and the 28 year older was a hell of a lot more attractive than the 19 year older by several magnitudes. They walked out, we went the same direction, but they varied their pace, it was clear they didn't want to walk along side me, or maybe just walked at a different pace, I didn't know.

On my way back, I approached a group of girls and asked them where a single guy like me would meet girls, they just gave some directions to a club up the street. At first I thought she was kidding, but she was serious, there was a place up there and it was sweet, but I didn't have the cash or the time and energy to do it. I spoke with some guys and girls on my way back to the bus station, including a teenage couple, whom I teased 'girl, you're only 17? Come back when you're 18 and then you ditch this loser for a real man' they acted all cute like that, and even the girl touched my face when I asked her to slap me because I really needed it.

So that's the story of my first night out. I didn't bother with numbers, I really did try to get laid, but ran into those problems. It was actually my first real attempt at doing this, so I realize I need to learn to do this better for the future. The books will help, but what will help the most is experience... and I've said it many times before, I really need an experienced PUA who can help me with this. I need on the stop assistance with what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right.

The main thing I learned is that I have no fucking AA at all, I did too many approaches and felt nothing of it to have any more lingering doubt of that, so the 'go out and say 'hi' to 50 people' is not a valid exercise anymore.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 8:26 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 07, 2015 11:12 pm
Posts: 120
Quote:
OK, so this was actually my first attempt at sarging. It's also an extremely major turning point in my life since I've done something I never felt I could do. Actually go to a loud nightclub and tolerate that place for a while without running out from the noise. This isn't to say that I absolutely love it, but I have to admit, when they played some songs that I recognized and loved, I couldn't help but perk up at them.

So I spend the earlier night just studying and listening to 'out of control' by both Sabaton and Battle Beast, it was an fucking awesome song and it made me feel really good. When I left my apartment I was talking to my sister on the phone, describing to her what I wanted to do and the direction I wanted to carry my life. It was a typical 'I regret not being able to do this in my 20s' type deal, as much as everyone tells me that it isn't too bad and there are tons of people in their late 30s and 40s that are still gaming like maniacs with girls 20-35, it's something that's likely to bother me for a while, at least until maybe I do get a few girls I want and as hard as I try, it's something I have to deal with for the foreseeable future,

Anyway, in Montreal, there was a major concert going on in Downtown, so the nightclubs were mildly empty, at least when I first came in. When I entered the bar, the first thing I did was scope the place. It was a cool joint, I heard that the people there were more open minded and not snooty like in some other places. I actually seemed like that originally, since the two guys I originally spoke with were fairly open to some stranger walking in. In fact, in the bar area, no one seemed to give a damn about me walking up to them and I probably could have sat down and drank with people and did shit without an issue. This is a good thing. I think I'll be coming back to the bar in an attempt to sarge again some time in the future, and I want to avoid any 'incidents'.

I flew solo, no wingman since he was busy with his dance videos (he's a mad, mad, mad dancer). So the first girl I approached was alone by a table football thingie. I asked her if she was having a great time, she said yes she was, and was actually pretty open to talking. She was much more French than me, so communicating would be harder. At any rate, she was pretty receptive... but she had a boyfriend, who came down there and... we started playing table football together.

She even paid for it, it was a 2 vs 1, so I predictably lost, but at least it was a good time. I approached another group of people at a table. One of those guys was completely chill and wearing an aviator's helmet with goggles. I had a chat with them and since I'm a WW2 buff, I indentified the goggles as RAF type, but the flight helm had more in common with WW1 era since it didn't have pockets for radio headsets. They were actually kinda amused at the whole thing.

They told me where I could go and enter the main music/disco place, I paid the fee and went upstairs. The place was mostly empty at the time due to the concert outside. The first thing I did, like downstairs, is scope the place. I tried to act cool while doing it, or at least not seem out of place. The beer in the place was ridiculesly cheap. I had found me one of those legendary 1 dollar beer joints I heard about 10 years ago. Anyway, I had a beer, which was a mistake that I will elaborate on later.

I went over to the main dance area and I danced aroudn a little. I noticed that the people there rarely moved out of their own group. The insecurity of being the 'creepy old guy' came to me again when I wondered if they were moving away from me or just didn't care. I had some bumps in with some people, but they did move away a little after. Some groups would dance and immediately run out, so I didn't know if it was me or not.

I walked over to the second bar there where I met a group of girls that there, they would be the only real negative experience that night. There was another chubby girl on her own. I asked her where he friends are... and she took me to introduce my to them. I tried to dance with them for a few minutes, but the girls were far more interested in dancing with each other, and they eventually went up to the stage to dance there.

I danced a bit, but I eventually realized that I need to do something more proactive in order to get their attention. Sure I might have been better dressed than some guys, but I wasn't so out of place that they're notice. I had three beers in total, and this caused a major problem.

I'm an alcohol lightweight. Even after a decent meal, I can get hammered really fast and this isn't a good thing. Noticeably in my interactions with that group of girls by the bar. They didn't want to leave their spot, but some did and went places. Eventually I tried to game one, but needless to say it didn't go well, she hated me for not giving an adequate tip for the guy (and even more when I did tip the guy), eventually I decided I hated them and showed her and her friends the condom I had in my pocket. They gestured for me to jack off, and I gestured for them to go fuck themselves.

I need I had to clear my head, and this is why I will never drink more than one beer if I absolutely have to in a bar. I came back down to the quieter first floor and sat next to a girl, telling her about my headache and feeling like I was going to pass out. The interaction was neutral and OK, her drunk BF came, but like the first GF/BF interaction, it was a chill affair, no problems at all. At that point I was assessing what I was doing and not doing right. I asked the girl how people meet each other there and how they met each other. The drunken conversation he gave made very little sense.

Thankfully, within minutes my head cleared up and I was remarkably sober (three beers isn't a lot, and while the hit was tough it wasn't long before I could go up and talk again.

I'm going to keep this brief. I did try to isolate some girls. I did succeed at doing it at least once, but the girl was immediately yanked away by another girl who waved at me. I did chat up another pair of girls, both hair dressers and aged 22. The conversation went fine (I had a hard time remembering one of their names)... they asked me questions, what I did, where I was from, what my name was. No major IOIs or hair twirling, not much dillation of the pupils that I could see, but the interaction was there. They did reject being in a photo with me... and then the question of how old I was came up.

They guessed 27, I cracked a joke that I was really 40... and I think they took it seriously, because the second girl immediately pulled her away and made her rush to the dance room. I was left confused as to why they did that, was it because they believed I was 40 years old? It was weird and not something I fully understood. Or maybe it was the photograph attempt... or the fact that the other girl wasnt' talking and was the designed cockblock? I don't know.

The other thing they did ask about is why I was alone. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I did notice that it is kinda weird to be alone in a place like that... sadly it's something I have to deal with, and yes... with all the girls being taken away by other girls, I will need to work on some major isolation skills if I am to do this without a wingman. To be honest, while this is my first attempt and I think I will get better with practice, it's going to be tough, especially when dealing with a younger crowd that might not be so open to guys 10+ years older than them (yep, it's that again!)

I did chat up some more girls, groups of girls, and other stuff. Didn't make any attempts at pick up, because by that point I was getting really tired and wanted to go home. I had one final chat with a pair of girls who were there on vacation, one of them was 28, the other was 19... and the 28 year older was a hell of a lot more attractive than the 19 year older by several magnitudes. They walked out, we went the same direction, but they varied their pace, it was clear they didn't want to walk along side me, or maybe just walked at a different pace, I didn't know.

On my way back, I approached a group of girls and asked them where a single guy like me would meet girls, they just gave some directions to a club up the street. At first I thought she was kidding, but she was serious, there was a place up there and it was sweet, but I didn't have the cash or the time and energy to do it. I spoke with some guys and girls on my way back to the bus station, including a teenage couple, whom I teased 'girl, you're only 17? Come back when you're 18 and then you ditch this loser for a real man' they acted all cute like that, and even the girl touched my face when I asked her to slap me because I really needed it.

So that's the story of my first night out. I didn't bother with numbers, I really did try to get laid, but ran into those problems. It was actually my first real attempt at doing this, so I realize I need to learn to do this better for the future. The books will help, but what will help the most is experience... and I've said it many times before, I really need an experienced PUA who can help me with this. I need on the stop assistance with what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right.

The main thing I learned is that I have no fucking AA at all, I did too many approaches and felt nothing of it to have any more lingering doubt of that, so the 'go out and say 'hi' to 50 people' is not a valid exercise anymore.

Really fucking glad to hear about your experience!!!!!! I personally am TERRIFIED to go out to clubs and bars by myself. I went to an EDM concert by myself about a month ago, and while I did manage to get a K close..I dunno. I feel too pressured if I'm by myself. If I know that if I end completely alone and that I can just go chill with my homies as insurance, I'd really be happy to go to one.

_________________
I succeed where others fail, purely because the fire inside burns brighter than the fire around me.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2015 9:56 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2015 4:08 pm
Posts: 125
Well done, on going out by yourself and making all this effort and approaches. It takes guts and a willingness to change. You did the first big step. I am not experienced on pickup either but just as with everything else in life keep going, do some calibrations and lots of trial and error and you 'll get there.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:48 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:29 pm
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Good story.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 8:09 pm 
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 4:35 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:14 pm
Posts: 689
Quote:
OK, so this was actually my first attempt at sarging. It's also an extremely major turning point in my life since I've done something I never felt I could do. Actually go to a loud nightclub and tolerate that place for a while without running out from the noise. This isn't to say that I absolutely love it, but I have to admit, when they played some songs that I recognized and loved, I couldn't help but perk up at them.

So I spend the earlier night just studying and listening to 'out of control' by both Sabaton and Battle Beast, it was an fucking awesome song and it made me feel really good. When I left my apartment I was talking to my sister on the phone, describing to her what I wanted to do and the direction I wanted to carry my life. It was a typical 'I regret not being able to do this in my 20s' type deal, as much as everyone tells me that it isn't too bad and there are tons of people in their late 30s and 40s that are still gaming like maniacs with girls 20-35, it's something that's likely to bother me for a while, at least until maybe I do get a few girls I want and as hard as I try, it's something I have to deal with for the foreseeable future,

Anyway, in Montreal, there was a major concert going on in Downtown, so the nightclubs were mildly empty, at least when I first came in. When I entered the bar, the first thing I did was scope the place. It was a cool joint, I heard that the people there were more open minded and not snooty like in some other places. I actually seemed like that originally, since the two guys I originally spoke with were fairly open to some stranger walking in. In fact, in the bar area, no one seemed to give a damn about me walking up to them and I probably could have sat down and drank with people and did shit without an issue. This is a good thing. I think I'll be coming back to the bar in an attempt to sarge again some time in the future, and I want to avoid any 'incidents'.

I flew solo, no wingman since he was busy with his dance videos (he's a mad, mad, mad dancer). So the first girl I approached was alone by a table football thingie. I asked her if she was having a great time, she said yes she was, and was actually pretty open to talking. She was much more French than me, so communicating would be harder. At any rate, she was pretty receptive... but she had a boyfriend, who came down there and... we started playing table football together.

She even paid for it, it was a 2 vs 1, so I predictably lost, but at least it was a good time. I approached another group of people at a table. One of those guys was completely chill and wearing an aviator's helmet with goggles. I had a chat with them and since I'm a WW2 buff, I indentified the goggles as RAF type, but the flight helm had more in common with WW1 era since it didn't have pockets for radio headsets. They were actually kinda amused at the whole thing.

They told me where I could go and enter the main music/disco place, I paid the fee and went upstairs. The place was mostly empty at the time due to the concert outside. The first thing I did, like downstairs, is scope the place. I tried to act cool while doing it, or at least not seem out of place. The beer in the place was ridiculesly cheap. I had found me one of those legendary 1 dollar beer joints I heard about 10 years ago. Anyway, I had a beer, which was a mistake that I will elaborate on later.

I went over to the main dance area and I danced aroudn a little. I noticed that the people there rarely moved out of their own group. The insecurity of being the 'creepy old guy' came to me again when I wondered if they were moving away from me or just didn't care. I had some bumps in with some people, but they did move away a little after. Some groups would dance and immediately run out, so I didn't know if it was me or not.

I walked over to the second bar there where I met a group of girls that there, they would be the only real negative experience that night. There was another chubby girl on her own. I asked her where he friends are... and she took me to introduce my to them. I tried to dance with them for a few minutes, but the girls were far more interested in dancing with each other, and they eventually went up to the stage to dance there.

I danced a bit, but I eventually realized that I need to do something more proactive in order to get their attention. Sure I might have been better dressed than some guys, but I wasn't so out of place that they're notice. I had three beers in total, and this caused a major problem.

I'm an alcohol lightweight. Even after a decent meal, I can get hammered really fast and this isn't a good thing. Noticeably in my interactions with that group of girls by the bar. They didn't want to leave their spot, but some did and went places. Eventually I tried to game one, but needless to say it didn't go well, she hated me for not giving an adequate tip for the guy (and even more when I did tip the guy), eventually I decided I hated them and showed her and her friends the condom I had in my pocket. They gestured for me to jack off, and I gestured for them to go fuck themselves.

I need I had to clear my head, and this is why I will never drink more than one beer if I absolutely have to in a bar. I came back down to the quieter first floor and sat next to a girl, telling her about my headache and feeling like I was going to pass out. The interaction was neutral and OK, her drunk BF came, but like the first GF/BF interaction, it was a chill affair, no problems at all. At that point I was assessing what I was doing and not doing right. I asked the girl how people meet each other there and how they met each other. The drunken conversation he gave made very little sense.

Thankfully, within minutes my head cleared up and I was remarkably sober (three beers isn't a lot, and while the hit was tough it wasn't long before I could go up and talk again.

I'm going to keep this brief. I did try to isolate some girls. I did succeed at doing it at least once, but the girl was immediately yanked away by another girl who waved at me. I did chat up another pair of girls, both hair dressers and aged 22. The conversation went fine (I had a hard time remembering one of their names)... they asked me questions, what I did, where I was from, what my name was. No major IOIs or hair twirling, not much dillation of the pupils that I could see, but the interaction was there. They did reject being in a photo with me... and then the question of how old I was came up.

They guessed 27, I cracked a joke that I was really 40... and I think they took it seriously, because the second girl immediately pulled her away and made her rush to the dance room. I was left confused as to why they did that, was it because they believed I was 40 years old? It was weird and not something I fully understood. Or maybe it was the photograph attempt... or the fact that the other girl wasnt' talking and was the designed cockblock? I don't know.

The other thing they did ask about is why I was alone. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I did notice that it is kinda weird to be alone in a place like that... sadly it's something I have to deal with, and yes... with all the girls being taken away by other girls, I will need to work on some major isolation skills if I am to do this without a wingman. To be honest, while this is my first attempt and I think I will get better with practice, it's going to be tough, especially when dealing with a younger crowd that might not be so open to guys 10+ years older than them (yep, it's that again!)

I did chat up some more girls, groups of girls, and other stuff. Didn't make any attempts at pick up, because by that point I was getting really tired and wanted to go home. I had one final chat with a pair of girls who were there on vacation, one of them was 28, the other was 19... and the 28 year older was a hell of a lot more attractive than the 19 year older by several magnitudes. They walked out, we went the same direction, but they varied their pace, it was clear they didn't want to walk along side me, or maybe just walked at a different pace, I didn't know.

On my way back, I approached a group of girls and asked them where a single guy like me would meet girls, they just gave some directions to a club up the street. At first I thought she was kidding, but she was serious, there was a place up there and it was sweet, but I didn't have the cash or the time and energy to do it. I spoke with some guys and girls on my way back to the bus station, including a teenage couple, whom I teased 'girl, you're only 17? Come back when you're 18 and then you ditch this loser for a real man' they acted all cute like that, and even the girl touched my face when I asked her to slap me because I really needed it.

So that's the story of my first night out. I didn't bother with numbers, I really did try to get laid, but ran into those problems. It was actually my first real attempt at doing this, so I realize I need to learn to do this better for the future. The books will help, but what will help the most is experience... and I've said it many times before, I really need an experienced PUA who can help me with this. I need on the stop assistance with what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right.

The main thing I learned is that I have no fucking AA at all, I did too many approaches and felt nothing of it to have any more lingering doubt of that, so the 'go out and say 'hi' to 50 people' is not a valid exercise anymore.
First off, good work on taking the first step, going out, and making the effort to better yourself. Whats important is that you do this consistently and continue to push your boundaries. Here's my feedback:

1. Too much talking. In a nighttime environment, you focus on getting kino in, seeing how she responds, and then escalating or backing off appropriately. It sounded like you were running a talk shop. Nothing at all is wrong with talking BUT you should concentrate on that after there seems to be some attraction.

2. Stay in a good mood. Have fun. Dance. Enjoy the music. Your primary aim should be to have as much fucking fun as possible. You should be at or SLIGHTLY above the energy of everyone else, but don't be the overeager dancing monkey.

3. Are you communicating that good vibe to others? Are you smiling when you approach? Making eye contact? Touching?

Those are the first few thoughts that come to mind.


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