February 23rd 2014
Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you
I have been in the PUA lifestyle for about 6 months now. I have been going out almost 4 days a week for the past month or two. In the past 2 months since I've been gaming with a wing, I have gotten 9 makeouts, 2 same night pulls, a jumbled mess of numbers, and countless blowouts. I delete numbers that flake, so it is impossible for me to estimate how many number closes I've had. My wing on the other hand does not delete flakes, and he has around 100 numbers from the past few months. I would say I've gotten maybe 30 or 40 numbers in the past two months. Out of all of the girls I've met, I felt a romantic pull to maybe 4 of them. Out of those 4, the most investment I got was from one of the girls who dated me consistently for a month before going cold. This was from one of my earliest approaches. The most investment my wing has received was from his ex gf who dated him for some time. If you combine our total number of girls we have interacted with (all night approaches besides 2 daytime approaches I pulled) you would probably have around 200 girls that all have two things in common...we met them at night and they all eventually flaked on us. Summary
Last night was the flake that broke the camel's back. Debbie Downer.
I had been getting jaded on night game. Chicks would flake, I wouldn't be that interested in them, etc. From all the grinding I have put in, I feel like I am not getting what I want in return. I met this chick last Sunday. She had the look that fit my type. I opened her, built rapport, and number closed. She was freshly 21, and had only been to Mill several times before. I started to think that maybe this one is different.
She was with her friends so I couldn't escalate. When the bar closed I tried to pull her with the old after party line but she said it sounded like I wanted a booty call. I told her I don't do booty calls. She ended up texting me the next morning asking how my afterparty went and we had a little back and forth banter. I tried to set up a day 2 but she said she was busy everyday besides Thursday. Thursday she was going out for her friend's 21st b-day and she invited me to come out. It wouldn't be 1 on 1 like I would prefer but I told her I would try and come out.
So Thursday rolled around and I met her up. She was with her friends (some were guy friends and relatives). I had a feeling they were hating on me being there. She was receptive to me though and I picked up on some positive girl talk signals being passed between her and her friend. I hung out with her for the night and when the bar closed she had to leave with her friends. I ended up k closing before she went.
She asked if I would be out again this weekend and we agreed to meet up. That Friday night, I was at the same bar that we had been meeting at. I was actually in a random 2 set when I saw her with the same group of friends. I shot her a text saying "I thought what we had was special". I was leery that she didn't text me to say that she was out. Had I known she would turn into a flake I would have made out with the chick who was buying me free drinks in front of her bitchass...but I digress.
She responded with "Sorry I saw you with your friends and didn't want to interrupt". Fair enough. The bar was packed and we played phone tag trying to find where to meet up. I eventually told her to meet at a different bar and that we would have our first date. She agreed to text me when she got there. I scoped out the back of the bar I was originally at about 30 minutes prior to closing time to see if she was still there. Lo and behold she was with her group of friends on the patio. I then realized my adorable little oneitis case was yet another resident of Flakeville (population ~200).
Ten minutes prior to closing time I shot her a text. "That's cool. We had a good run".
DD (Debbie downer): So its done is what your saying?
Me: Yeahh I got too many options to get stood up
DD: Wow OK so I'm guessing your good you dnt need me
Me: I was willing to come 50% and meet up but you gave me 0%. I was a little disappointed but it's cool. I could always use more friends!
DD: Haha I can still meet up for 50/50 lol
Me: You owe me 100% now
DD: U know I'm drunk lol at (bar she was at) I drank a lot
Me: Come meet up with me. Last chance.
DD: Last chance but I'm drunk at (same bar) come over here lol I'm sorry
So I meet up with her and her friends outside the bar. She has some dude's arm around her.
Oh no...I've seen this movie before.
I made small talk with the group and then DD staggered away with one of the girl friends and they started talking. Things didn't seem quite right. I ended up crashing their pow wow and isolated DD. She went on about how drunk she was and I made small talk while I hugged her. I then playfully called her out about how she ditched me and I don't like flakes. She wouldn't own up to it and just kept saying she was drunk. I tried to go for the pull but she said she had to get home. Her friend ended up dragging her off.
DD: Sorry they made me leave
Me: Dead to me chica
DD: WTF are you serious I wanted to come I promise you
Me: I wanna believe you cuz you were a cutie. I'm not like other guys who will get jerked around.
DD: Drunk gibberish
Me: Pound some water and go to sleep. If you wanna hang out with me its on you now. Good night.
DD: You don't wanna hang out with me? I'm sorry I drank too much I'm with my best friends
Me: Hang out with me tomorrow night. Me and you at (my favorite bar) Last chance.
DD: Last chance?
DD: What?! Ok well I'll see you tomorrow for sure.
You can probably guess the ending of how night 3 goes but I'll walk you through it anyway since I've come this far.
Me: Looking forward to seeing you.
DD: See ya there
DD: Just got here
Me: I'm at (fav bar)
Radio silence. I text her 30 minutes until closing time. At this point I've committed to go for broke because this is strike 3.
Me: Your making me chase and I hate that shit. You gonna meet me up?
No response and its 2am. I call her and she answers. I tell her where I am and she says she's across the street. I walk over to her.
She's with the same posse. I initially make small talk with the friend and I ignore her bitchass. We are all having a casual conversation and ignore the elephant in the room. Then her friend says something like you should have met up with us. Waitwut.
I was like well maybe I should get your number because you will actually respond. She says something along the lines of whoa I can't let you do that to DD.
I tell her I tried texting DD five times but she blew me off. DD says she didn't have her phone. At this point things are awkward and I am at a loss.
Her friends start to leave and I have the 5 second 1 on 1 time that she had been giving me for the past 3 meetings. I told her that there is nothing I hate more than a flake and that girls like her used to drive me crazy. She took that last line and rode with it repeating "So I'm just like other girls huh?".
This is where that last thread of respect I had for women starts to unravel.
The rest of the night I basically try to tell a flake that she is being a flake. She simultaneously refuses to reject me but also doesn't admit to not trying to work with me. It is a mindfuck that I've never quite experienced. These are the last texts after a series of phone calls and her saying she would call me back and then flaking. I'm gonna put a disclaimer on my AFC behavior at this point. Again I'm playing the game at this point knowing that it is a lost cause.
Me: I like you. That's how I feel. I'm trying to get to know you the best I can. If you honestly feel the same way then work with me. If not that's cool I'll move on.
DD: Ok your trying to get to know me cool same here...I'm drunk every time you see me so if I'm a flake I honestly can't control it lol but telling me I'm like every girl and you had so many girls hollering then go for it I'm not gonna stop you but you want to get me let's be friends for now and chill and get to know each other.
Last text I sent as of last night.
Me: I have other girls that are interested but I wanted to see you. I've gone down this road before I've dealt with girls that fucked around with me. Just have the decency of saying you're not interested if your not.
No response as of now. Evaluation
This was less of a structured field report and more of an angsty diary entry straight out of a teenage girls closet. I really started to question game that night though. I feel like the game is starting to game me. I'm not getting the results that I want from the amount that I put in. My wing and I have been grinding hard for the past few months. He has a scorched earth policy and will burn every set to the ground. He will go for the pull that night no matter what. I on the other hand have been playing it more conservative. Essentially I would say that I go in with the "nice guy frame" and he goes in giving minimal fucks. The results have ultimately been the same. The chick will flake out on a long enough timeline. Meanwhile we watch fucking losers with nothing going for them bring their hot girlfriends to the club while we are running around getting a flaky makeout for every 5 or so rejections.
So I am left asking...is it possible to find anything meaningful in the night life? Is trying to find a "quality girl" and having her commit to you a fools errand? Am I putting to much time in game and not trying to somehow build social circles? Should I next Debbie Downer or leave the door open in the 1% chance that i turn it around?