Hi guys, it's hot over here in Vienna, I'm boiling!
So I went out alone to a bar/club tonight, for the first time ever. It was an amazing experience, because I really didn't know what to expect.
To start the night off I was sitting at home and I just sort of spontaneously decided to go to a club alone tonight. There is pretty much only one club in entire Vienna that's open on a Sunday night called Fledermaus (bat in German), and it's quite famous for it. I've never been to this club before, and never went out alone before, and I was quite nervous and scared at home. I read a little bit of Vin DiCarlo's Attraction Code because it has some nice segments about the story of a guy going out alone and his experiences, and I read his first experience of going out alone and that comforted me.
I decided to leave at 11PM and when I got there it was about 11.30PM. At first I circled the club because I was still scared but I had a plan with me which would save me in a situation like this that I typed up on my iPhone, it went something like "It's OK, just follow the system - overcome your fear, relax, approach, build momentum, pull if you see the opportunity..." etc. And I then basically told myself "Me is all I need" and I went in.
As I went in, the atmosphere was very clublike obviously, but quite friendly. I ordered a drink and noticed there were three cute girls standing next to me. After a sip or two I went over to them and asked how long the place stayed open. They responded extremely friendly, and I noticed attraction from at least the one I was talking to. There was a cute small girl that seemed quite shy that I liked the most, and her older sister was also quite hot but she wasn't attracted.
We talked about really normal stuff like where we studied and what we did, and just basic getting to know each other conversation, but it was extremely friendly and comforted me a lot. I was in a pretty good mood. The only thing was they asked if I was alone, and I didn't have the courage to say I was, so I said I'm waiting for my friends, they're gonna be really late. I didn't like to lie this way and I don't think I will anymore in the future, since it kind of came back to bite me later on.
It turned out the cute little girl was attracted with her investment and hair flicks etc. haha, but I wanted to see what else I could do. So they went to the dance floor and told me to come with them but I said I'd join them later.
So they left and I stood around. I ordered a water and this is when I didn't approach anymore, because most of the girls were on the dance floor and I really don't like dance floor game because quite frankly I suck at it and I'm quite scared of it, especially alone!
So what happened was I stood around and I knew I had to do something, so I walked around, but couldn't get myself to approach because most of the sets being on the dance floor.
Then there was a two-set by the bar again, and I went up to them and asked the same question "Do you know until this place is open?" and it was a flat out rejection with a harsh "No" and they returned to their conversation. I'm guessing it's because I now used the opener incongruently, I didn't really want to know until when the place is open and the girls could smell it.
Anyway I went back to the three-set on the dance floor and we danced a bit, and then I chatted with the cute girl and she was still into me, so I said "I'm going to get a water, wanna join?" and she said yes, however she told her friends she was going to the bar and they joined, too.
So now I've pulled all three girls back to the bar and I really just want to talk to the cute girl. But she's run off to the toilet and I'm just making friendly conversation with the other two, and the girl I opened is asking me where my friends are again, and I said they're close by, they'll be here soon.
The cute girl returns but heads off to some dude on the couch whom she knows and he's got her arm around her, I'm guessing they probably fucked before or something because they were comfortable with they're touchy feeliness. I lost motivation to get her there, not only because of that, but because these girls were getting suspicious of my friends who were on their way, or at least they were expecting them to come down and meet them.
At that point I ejected and said I'd take a phone call, returned and said my friends are upstairs, I have to go, nice to meet you, all really friendly, and left them.
So it was an incredible experience and it showed me that it isn't really all that scary to go out alone. My only fear was to be the guy who approached girls and gets rejected all the time, which is why I didn't approach much tonight. Only 2 approaches but you know, better than nothing and not bad for a first time I would say.
Since the cute girl was attracted to me I should have really given her an IOI on the dance floor where she was giving me quite a few, and even though she ran off to the other guy I should've talked to them and seen what it was all really about since I could've possibly outgamed the guy but it was my first night out and I wanted to really just take it easy the first time, get accustomed to be alone and relying on yourself and your ability to make friends/talk to people. I think I have to talk to the bartender and bouncers too and get to know them as well, since that friendliness might actually help me. I want to just get to know the staff and the people there and just really be a social guy there and talk to people in general.
I could've also built my momentum like I wrote down in my iPhone, however the unexpectedness of all sets being on the dance floor stopped me, and yes I was scared of the dance floor and the tightness and compactness of people there and approaching all there and the idea of getting rejected was a little too much for me tonight.
I could've also possibly gotten the one girl's number, but I didn't because I wasn't very interested in her. She was friendly and all, however I really wanted the cute girl. It turned out she comes to Fledermaus quite often on a Sunday, so who knows, I might see her again.
The cute girl was only here for the weekend visiting her friends and she actually gave me a hug when I said goodbye, but the fact that she was leaving was the reason I didn't get the number.
I want to go out alone again and just get more comfortable and more social and maybe build my momentum in the future. I also want to be a little more daring in the future, however it's still new and I felt like a newbie today and that was really great. I had no idea what to really do in the moment, I just opened and did. And that was nice there was no real pressure of me performing or anything, I was just like a little puppy, wide-eyed and open for new experiences and curious about everything. And this is what also made me a litte more relaxed than usual. I was just a friendly guy who wanted to meet people. It was very genuine and I want to do it again. It was a nice experience.