Artful Roger Journal


Go to page Previous  1 ... 9, 10, 11, 12, 13  Next
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Real Life Gaming » Field Reports




Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 11:07 am 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2011 10:22 am
Posts: 1200
Location: London
artfulroger wrote:
For me making an approach personal, allows me to be authentic and showing interest in someone is actually quite rare, and I pride myself on being different. I can live with not getting 100s of lays, I'm just here to meet quality women, and I know they don't lurk in bars or clubs (generally speaking).

I'll expand on this later, but now I have to rant.

I am literally dumbfounded at some of the girls I know and the AFCs/beta males(hell even delta males) they are dating. I went to a party last night and for the first time a girl I know brought her boyfriend. She is really smart, really cute and very open minded. And I thought her boyfriend would have been of the same ilk, well how wrong I was. He is a plumber, and his hobbies involve the gym, boxing and being passionate about football, he could express his feelings for football more so than her.

A second girl, albeit went through a mentally abusive relationship last year; is currently seeing a guy in his early 30s he works as a hotel doorman, and is basically an alcoholic, he necks a few beers every night on his own in a dark room. She is really pretty and incredibly open, she told me the depths of that abusive relationship last night, it was intriguing stuff. They've been seeing each other 6 months.

Kasabi, you've often written the formula on this forum, value = perceived benefits/cost. I do not see any value these guys attribute to their lives, I really don't. Their habits are plain and predictable, they operate unconsciously and have probably never tried to do anything challenging recently. Hell they're not even fun or exciting, my only prediction is they're a "make do" until a better deal comes along. Then it's too far down the line, and these girls have already developed feelings and can't bare to live without them, it's probably more attachment than love.

If I was to sum up my behaviours, maybe I'm a little awkward occasionally I'm well aware of that and working on it. But generally I'm a good attentive listener, and have strong moral values that don't shift. I feel I have a dynamic personality I show interest in areas of personal development, I look into finance, fitness, health/eating correctly, I'm studying to develop my career and also I'm finding my muse, I'm currently working on a project developing an online product with a sexual health psychologist for something that is in high demand and doesn't exist. I'm doing a hell of a lot of research on marketing on the way.

IS this^ what I need to express? But I would rather just get on with it than needlessly discuss it. Something feels out of line here, maybe there's too much ego and arrogance floating around on my part, but if these are the guys I'm up against I have absolutely zero qualms about how my dating life is going to turn out when I finish my exams in 5 weeks. Perhaps I'm missing something? I really don't know, dumbfounded and amazed.


Unfortunately (but also fortunately) attraction isn't based on logic. You may be doing all these things, which are great, but interacting with a girl is yet another different thing. The plumber, as kasabi said, may be a lot of fun, giving the girl a heck of a lot of emotions, and the footballer is probably unstifled and carefree (just generalizing here). It is not the guys' work or lifestyle which causes attraction in a girl, it is his attitude and behavior. This is why you see promoters high on cocaine get chicks - and don't think that only dumb girls go for promoters or people you think have not such a great career path. Girls are girls, they are emotional, if a guy can spike her emotions, whatever they may be, he's got her thinking about him, and therefore attracted. Attracted means interested. And yes David DeAngelo is right, Attraction is not a Choice. These girls don't choose who they are attracted to. They just are. Just like you don't choose which girl you're attracted to.

You have good potential for a long term relationship. These other guys may or may not. However the beginning phases of the relationship, the pickup until the hookup, will always be very similar and are founded in the girl's illogical emotions being spiked. Anything after that for anything longer term, that's where your lifestyle will come in handy, and if you are a fun guy who also has potential for a successful career/future in general, the girl will be more inclined to stick with you over the long term. But remember that the very beginning of two people getting to know each other is not based on any of this. You can literally fuck a girl without her knowing anything about you apart from maybe your name, if you play it well.

If you fuck a girl within 2-3 hours, how well does she really know you? Probably not at all. But she feels like she does because of all the emotions playing within her, and probably within you as well. The pickup part of the game isn't based on your lifestyle, it's based on the interaction with the girl in the moment. And after you have sex, the girl has invested so much that she will probably stick around for a little while, and if she continues to enjoy your company, and you hers, no matter what kind of lifestyles you both lead, you could be together for quite a little while.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 10:24 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
Ok so today I worked with a girl that was drop dead gorgeous and brilliant personality. Or maybe her looks swayed my opinion?

Any way the reason I liked her, 1. played guitar, 2. had depth of character, 3. Open-minded 4. Good fun, very outgoing.

So this how it starts, I woke up with memories of some decent girls I've let slip in the past, especially one last time I did this exam invigilating job I occasionally do. Anyway I go to this exam invigilation job, and she gets selected to go into a different hall, and the member of staff asked for a volunteer to go with her, without a hesitation I said "I'll go." Leaving all the gawping chodes behind, there's was no way I was letting this one get away after that morning thought.

So we get chatting a little, we have to whisper because obviously it's an exam, and she seems pretty interested in me in general not sexually yet - although I was dressed up with trousers and tie etc, so I looked pretty good. So some of the things I found out about her, she's an actor and writer, she loves soul music and acoustic guitar music (such as Bon Iver). To be honest she was asking me a lot of questions, about myself, where I've worked etc.
- Here I could have suggested taking her to a blues music place near me, she would love it.

So anyway, lunch comes around and she's like what do you do for lunch, cafeteria etc? And the westfield shopping centre is just down the road, so I told I was heading there as I needed to grab some bits (genuinely did) and invited her to join me. We head down on the bus, and she express an interest in working with autistic children and I have had 7 months of that so she quizzes me about that and I share with her what to expect and recommend a place to work. Anyway we get to the shopping centre and head into a cafe and grab some food, and this is where the conversation gets deep and I feel she's clearly sizing me up here, she asks questions on:
- Last films seen at the cinema, then my favourite films, and as I discuss it I feel emotions in myself twitch, gamed myself here lol. So by how that made me feel I ask back the same question, what's the last film you watched that really made you feel? I described a movie night I have with my friends where we watch bad films and get drunk like Mega Piranha (less than 3 stars on IMDB).
- We then discuss places we've visited in London, and she expresses a love for Hampstead Heath (big park with 4 natural Lidos in). I had another place come to mind here of where to take her, I didn't suggest it.
- My political stance, who I'm voting for. I was honest about this our views were somewhat similar.

I then go and grab the bits I need from a shop Boots to be precise, you know cosmetics, deodorant, skin creams etc, basically products

After lunch we went back to work, and it was great to be with her for the afternoon again. She then quizzed me a lot on Psychology and the areas of work, her sister wants to get into sexual health psychiatry after training as a doctor and she was asking all about this. This was general chit chat anyway, she had to go at 3.30 to go and teach guitar lessons, and I had to stay late to let 2 students finish an exam at 3.50 who were allowed extra time. So just before she heads out she was like do you have Facebook? I was like yeah let me give you my number instead there's like 2000 people with my name, (genuinely there is), so you'll never find me - so I put my number in her phone and she gives me a missed call. Then as she heads out she gives me the biggest hug in front of all the students, and heads out then wishes she'll hope to work with me again soon.

So then I text her a bit later on at 6:45pm
"I am STILL here. It's all your fault! x"
The rest:
Image
In hindsight I should have said nothing back or used her language and teased her more. "Govna!? Since when are we playing cops and robbers? You'll never catch me x" something like that.

That last text.. no response it's now 11pm, this happens all the time, I kind of fuck it up.
I've some plans if she doesn't text back.
- We spoke about food and I told her I cook the best Thai curry in north London, so I will text her a picture of my thai curry lunch and the words "my lunch beats up your lunch" she seems to love acting stupid, so I'll help her act that out.
- We get paid by the hour for this job, so the 30 mins I "took" off of her, indirectly ask her out for a coffee with that money

To be honest, I just want a genuine day 2 with this girl, I know that if she didn't leave early we would have hung out after work probably gone for a drink or something. This is the deepest most authentic connection I've felt with a girl in a while, probably because of the amount of time spent with her today - I genuinely feel like I've gamed myself? As always, prepared to fuck it up to gain perspective and learn from it.

This may sound like I was chasing, but the whole time I wanted her to prove to me shit wasn't batshit crazy, all the girls I've met recently have indulged in way too much make up, fake tan and their personalities are so sketchy. She proved against a lot of that today, I had ample opportunities to ask her out, I really should have got her number at lunch, it was a risk because there was a chance we wouldn't have been together that afternoon, luckily things were in my favour this time.

What I want to do:
- Kiss her a lot, and be close to her
- Take her to hampstead heath or the other place I know that's good for a day 2. Reasonably near her.
- Take her to that blues bar dance with her, then take her home.
- Thank her for making my day amazing, made the most boring job enjoyable.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 9:27 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
After my most recent journal update I realised, my sticking point is extracting emotion in the early stages of talking to a girl, all my questions revolve around seriousness - you know like asking formalities in questions etc. rather than the use of imagination or reliving great moments they've been through. I need to consciously break this habit. I really need to get better at story telling (and creative writing) to lead them through visual or audio mental journeys.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 8:03 pm 
Offline
Post of the month winner!
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:53 am
Posts: 3102
artfulroger wrote:
After my most recent journal update I realised, my sticking point is extracting emotion in the early stages of talking to a girl, all my questions revolve around seriousness - you know like asking formalities in questions etc. rather than the use of imagination or reliving great moments they've been through. I need to consciously break this habit. I really need to get better at story telling (and creative writing) to lead them through visual or audio mental journeys.


It's all about being interested in another person and being honest about it.

1. You asked questions. (Because you are interested in her.)
2. She answered. (Because she trusts you.)
3. You listened and assimilated her answers. By this, I mean that you hear her answers and automatically make assumptions about her. She didn't tell you that she was open-minded, you assumed it by the way she communicated with you. She didn't tell you that she was fun and out-going, you assumed it by the way she communicated with you.

And now here we are. . . this is the point of the conversation where many guys make some variation of the statement, "Wow, that's really cool," or, "that's very interesting," and move on to the next topic or question. But think about it. . . by making these statements, what we're essentially suggesting is that her answer really isn't cool at all. . . these statements are nothing more than a sugarcoated, "whatever makes you happy. . ." It means you don't give a shit. . .

So how do we show that we give a shit? You share #3 above with her. You show her that you listened and you show her that you took enough interest to what she said to make assumptions about her. Based on what you wrote about her, I already know that she's an old soul. She carries the knowledge and responsibilities of her old soul. I already know that she's got a smile that some people confuse to be smug . . . but it's more likely a smile of acceptance. She accepts things that are acceptable, she investigates into things that are not, and she attempts to share these things through her art. She doesn't realize how energy depleting this can be . . . to share your mind and spirit with others . . . to be happy and positive for herself and for others. So sometimes she hits the wall and gets slammed and she'll try to cheer herself out of it, but all she can really do is wait. It's simply her body doing exactly what it should given the circumstances it is given. For her to complete her spiritual journey, she'll need to pace herself.- These are my assumptions. How to communicate these assumptions to her?

"Do people ever tell you that you have an old soul?"

"I don't want to give you the wrong impression that I am comparing you to a man so first let me tell you that you are gorgeous. Absolutely stunning and beautiful. . . but you know you have that same sly smile that Buddha has? You know. . .it's that look as if to say, "Oh, I know some seeerious shit. . . Don't be coming around here with your bullshit because I know my shit." (What? You didn't know Buddha was a rapper?)

This is the idea. . .


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 8:17 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
Thanks Kasabi, that's really helpful - I've tried to practice that just on people I know as well.

Went to a birthday on Thursday, didn't want to drink much but people kept bringing me drinks lol... So I got more drunk than I wanted anyway. I knew one person there, so I just saw it as an exercise to meet and mingle with new people. At first I was really stiff and my conversation sucked, I wasn't creative in what I was saying at all.

But soon after that I managed to talk to a couple of girls that were there, one notable interaction we'll call her M. She was a rich girl from chelsea, and studied biological medicine and then went onto work for a real estate agency that specialise in property for hotels or corporate clients, she's in the insurance sector. She really went into detail here about her job, and she seemed quite passionate about it, I kept trying to steer the conversation to less serious things. The most I got out of her was that she goes to the gym, and she wanted to lose some weight after working a really demanding recruitment job.

We then had a quick talk about the tinder app, she said she wanted to date some rich men or something along those lines. So I joked around you should have your expectations in your bio section "1. Lobster only, 2. Champagne dinners 3. No sex on first dates until criteria 1 & 2 are fulfilled. She laughed and we then some guy came over who is studying medicine she then spoke about her studies in detail for a while, obviously they could relate here but I was left on the outside, although I ended up giving him career advice for his job i.e working home visits and on locum for the NHS. She went off to get another drink so I changed to a different table.

I left shortly after that probably 20-30 mins. Anyway made an effort to say bye to her, and she said something along the lines of: we should get *birthday boy's name* to have a reunion soon, or some kind of meet up. I could have gone for her phone number here but I really didn't think she was interested, plus we never really spoke about anything we could go and do together. On the basis of that I think it would have been a dead number per say.

Friday

Went out for someone's birthday (again) and ex work college, who I would love to date. She's dating an ok guy, but he's just not trust worthy, and I know he'll mess her around - he's slept with 2 people he works with already. I really don't know why she's with him, I did have ample chances to go out with her last year but I was just oblivious. We still have chemistry though, at her birthday in the pub we were in, I got to dance with her salsa kind of style and I was spinning her around and pulling her close. And that spark was there still, mutual chemistry. I really wanted to ask her in private why she got back with this guy, they broke up in January and got back together in March time and went on holiday together. In fact I basically wanted to say to her, that I think she could do better and I could be that choice, but of course I didn't. I actually really want to date this girl, any advice on breaking them up? Or at least being a contender?

The only conversation I had with her was I found out she knew the girl I met on Tuesday and bonded with. They both went to the same Drama school, although 2 years apart. Apparently dated a friend of hers exboyfriend in between them splitting up and getting back together. I just asked what's she like? Should I pursue it, she suggested just asking her out (which I did today).

Anyway some of her housemates really fancied me, kept telling me how good looking and handsome I was. Was loving the attention. There was one I liked but she found out as I was 24 then was immediately disinterested, think she was about 29(ish), so didn't pursue.

Then I went to a bar with a friend of mine, and as I walked in befriended a group of guys as my base group. One guy thought I was the bomb, he was from sydney, Aus and pretty cool and we had a decent chat about something - can't remember as I was so drunk. Then I went hunting for a lay, I saw a girl staring at me so I walked over and she said to her friend "that guy's so fit" so I said Hi, my names ___. then she introduced herself, asked her one more question before getting really close and getting ready for the make out, then her friend pulled her away....

I went and spoke to someone else she was by the bar on her own, I just wanted another safety net, she was chubby and not too pretty. Anyway she had ok conversation, I loved that she was qualifying herself to me, she was really trying to impress me and asking me all the questions, and I was just totally aloof to the whole thing. Her self esteem was pretty low, and anyway I told her I was going to the toilet, she thought I wasn't going to come back! I was kind of planning on seeing what else was out there, on the way to the toilet. But then thought fuck it she lives just down the road, and I live 2 night busses away, so I just went back to hers and we had sex at night then again in the morning. I specifically told her I was single and wanted to stay that way the night before, she asked for my number in the morning and caught me off guard just as I was leaving so I gave it to her. She sent me a text before I'd even got home! Then 2 hours later a whatsapp of a salad and saying "Take this hangover" - haven't texted back and don't plan too, I was clear in what I said to her the night before. Good to see neediness and bad texts from the other side though.

Trying to focus on my studies now, an exam Monday then 2 in the next 2 weeks. Then I'm all done. To be honest really didn't want to go out and get that drunk or go home with anyone, I really need to well in these exams.

Here's the text convo with L from Tuesday. When at lunch we had a chat about cafe Nero and how they don't pay their taxes, they do loyalty stamps so I just sent her this picture:
ImageImageImage
Since I sent it late, I wasn't expecting a response right away - if she doesn't respond, I'll text her Monday or Tuesday asking "still have my partner in crime this Wednesday?"

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 11:21 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
Today I was watching a video of a guy who made a 3+ years trip to 36 countries all around the world. It's safe to say that the things he's seen and lived in 1 month are probably more than I've seen and lived in 24 years.

I look at him and think "this guy is living life". I don't truly envy guys who have lots of money, get lots of girls and all that. Would I like that? Sure, why not, but quite frankly I think they're just living the same empty life we all are, except they have more stuff to distract them from the utter insignificance of human existence. They'll live a few years and then they'll be eaten by worms just like everyone else: they just won't notice the painful and boring walk to the grave.

But that guy (and others like him), now that's a life worth living. They are the ones who understand that life is not about the destination, it's about the journey. That's a fortune cookie message for most of us but those guys make a reality out of it.

I think of the primitive man, how he was born in Africa and traveled so far away, to every corner of the world, and I can't help but to think that human beings, kinda like birds, weren't born to sit still. I'll go further and say this is the reason why there's so many miserable people out there. We sit on our asses, eating, checking Facebook, masturbating (or trying not to), then once a week we go out, rub ourselves into a stranger, look at our faces in the mirror and say "fuck man, I'm living life". We've been taught to live like cattle and we've been taught to enjoy it.

Ok, I'm ranting here. Bottom line is that I wish I had the money, the knowledge and the balls to travel around for years and see the world. I think about it, but then I scratch my lazy ass and forget about it for a while. Truth is, I'm afraid of going out there.

Most of the time I feel more positive and upbeat than I sound here. I'm just bored and confused, though I do have plans for the near future.

Felt good to take that stuff off my of chest. Good old journal is still worth keeping for blogging every now and then.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:27 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
A rare update from me simply because I'm in the US. I'm working at a summer camp, but I felt this was worth documenting.

I made a girl basically fall in love with me. She has been with her boyfriend 9 years, she is the same age as me and we just got along like a wildfire, we had so many deep and meaningful conversations. It's at a point where I can't put it into words, I tried to not like her at first, I thought here we go: another one of those blonde, skinny dancer stuck up types. So I was just totally myself because I've been consistently meeting arsehole type girls, just showed interest in her life genuinely, and we had a lot in common and connected on a deep level.

It was strange because she never mentioned her boyfriend at first. Until we had a conversation late one night where we started going deeper into each other's backgrounds and love lives. This is when I found out she had a boyfriend, then it was the next night we met up again and she confessed everything. She told me she thought I was a great guy and that I was amazingly cute. She then apologized because she felt she was leading me on, and she didn't want me leaving the camp thinking about could have been. This felt like a bit of projection here, like she was confirming for herself nothing could happen. She openly admitted she was up all night and it felt like her heart was torn in two, and that she really couldn't decide where it lied. She kept pestering me to ask her if it was fate I had met her, (she comes from a religious background), I told her she was part of the journey of why I came out here. She kept ruing what was happening, she really wanted to see where we could go, and I did too - and still do, I don't really know where to proceed. She leaves on Sunday morning, and I have another 4 weeks here, it's fine though because I'm going to Philadelphia and we've already organized to meet. I had actually planned to check out Phili before I'd even met her, but it's nice to know that I'll see her again, but then again it doesn't matter too much if I don't. She said all she wanted to do was go for a drink with me, so she could get out of her professional role.

I've been thinking about this on a deeper level, and I kind of believe the reason we connected is because this summer camp is so isolated and out of the ordinary, we get along in our job roles and views of the world here, but as a partnership would we work outside of this microcosm? I don't know and then comes the issue of being able to meet up, our logistics are 6000 miles apart. I think she was just looking for excitement and I could offer that, I'm not from her town and I live a different way of life that's of interest and intrigue to her.

Perhaps just a summer romance I guess. Plenty of more women to meet and connect with when I go travelling the northeast of the US at the end of August.

Slightly annoying that this seems to be my sticking point now, getting a deep and meaningful connection and seeing it slide away from me. It's always seeing the ones that get away feeling you to rue the most.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 5:52 am 
Offline
Post of the month winner!
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:53 am
Posts: 3102
This is one of those simple pick up situations:

1. She wants to fuck you. You already know this because she told you... "Heart torn in two, blah, blah, blah" You didn't really think she was talking about moving to your Country?

2. She's hedging her risk. She has a boyfriend and she wants to fuck you so what does that make her? That's right a whore. Now what kind of nice, horny girl wants to be perceived as a whore? Hell, even hookers don't want to be called whores. . . well, maybe they do. . . but only to each other like the way black guys call each other the n word "affectionately".

3. So in this "out of the real life" situation, she wanted you to fuck her brains out and blame it on "chemistry". . . oh the heart + vagina torn in two! But afterwards (maybe a few good nights) she'd come to the realization that "We need to be adults . . it was a mistake. I have a boyfriend. We shouldn't have done this. You will always be in my heart. What we had was special." (I could fill this page with all the chick movie cliche's chicks spout in these moments. . . it's my conspiracy theory that this is only the reason why they watch chick movies. . .it's to plagiarize the cheese)

4. If you wanted her to suck your cock, you lost your golden window of opportunity. It's the perfect "out of town" guy fuck fuck situation. . . and everything I wrote above would have played out. In fact, in that 20 minute of tear squeezing wake up talk, she would have said all that I wrote above and more.

5. But all is not lost. If you want to tap it, you only need to repeat what you already did, including getting the two of you in a private situation where sex is possible.

6. She will play her part. . .and you should play yours. This is what I believe the pick up kids like to call, "Leaving her better than I found her." - But all you're really doing is feeding her fantasy. Have fun. good luck.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:00 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
It's been along time since I've been here. 4 months. And I'm not sure why I'm back, I don't consider myself a PUA anymore, and I don't think I ever did.

My working holiday in the US was the best experience I've done. I got to work on a summer camp in the middle of no where in Pennsylvania and it was bliss to be out of contact with everyone and away from electronic devices like phones, computers etc. That was 9 weeks of bliss.

In that time a lot of things happened. I got promoted in my first 2 days there to Dean of the boys, so I was in charge of all male staff and boy campers. I lived in my own cabin in the woods, it was a great and a crazy experience something I truly treasure. I was loved by everyone there, being an English boy in the USA was very strange, everyone thought I was some kind of prince.

I got really close and connected with the co-dean of the girls area, to the point she was considering leaving her boyfriend of 9 years for me. Nothing ever happened between us, just a lot of chemistry and sexual tension - she was only there for 2 weeks and then she left. I felt a bit empty and frustrated she did. We kept in contact.

I then met another girl, and it took us about a week to have a conversation but we just had this connection before we even spoke. I spent one of my days off with her and just liked her from that moment, I wanted to spend every minute by her side - it was difficult not to appear needy. I knew she liked me back, I could tell by just the way she looked at me. From then I just created any excuse to be with her, I collaborated with her for a performance I played guitar and sung, she danced to the music. Then I created more excuses like asking her to teach me how to dance. So I started to learn some basic partner dancing with her. I taught her some guitar chords and got her playing. We went out a few nights as well and had some drinks, it took me like 2 weeks to make a move. And I did it sober, I kissed her when we were dancing, and it was an amazing kiss - something I'd been wanting to do for a while and a lot of passion just came out in that kiss. It took us the weekend she left to finally have sex, and it was incredible. She had an amazing body, but I had fallen for her mind more than anything, At this point it was the end of July and I hadn't touched or had sex since the end of May, so I was very ready to have sex. [In fact in some of the dance lessons I kept getting erections and she could definitely feel them on her leg haha.]

She was only there for 5 weeks, but they were an amazing 5 weeks with her. When she left camp, I was very lost and confused she had become a friend, and a partner. I felt like I had no one around anymore, I felt very lonely. We were a couple already before we'd even had that discussion. I booked a plane ticket to come and see her in Boston while I had 2 weeks before I had to come back to the UK.

After camp I travelled to Philadelphia, Washington D.C then onto Boston. The time from when she left camp to when I saw her was a long 3 weeks. Although I enjoyed everything I saw on the way, I just missed her constantly. When I got on that plane to head to Boston I was just so relaxed, she picked me up from the airport and I got in the car and kissed her, it was like nothing had changed. I had the best time in Boston with her, I had amazing dates with her, and the sex was incredible too, I mean we were at it like 5 times a day so no porn damage leftover in my system, I had no issues regarding ED or PE either, I was very much in control of my arousal and when I wanted it to end. Time with her stood still, I have never been so present with anyone in my life, I couldn't care less who was trying to get hold of me on the phone or what the time was, I had this sole focus on her and she did me. We were the perfect match.

We had an amazing date on one night, we went out for food and we went back to hers and sat out on her balcony drinking wine and listening to music. I put on the playlist we learned to dance to. And we started dancing to it again, by the 3rd song I could feel myself getting emotional and I broke down into tears in front of her. She was already crying and teary. It was just perfect, the time with her was incredible and I was so scared of going home and leaving her - it was inevitable and it wasn't my choice. The time I spent with her was exactly how I wanted to fall in love. It took until the 4th day there, where I initiated the conversation about being a couple (we were already acting like a couple from when we met). I told what I wanted, that I could do long distance and that I couldn't imagine dating anyone else. She was very much of the same opinion, she was scared I thought this was just a summer fling and that I'd go back to England with not seeing her again.

Leaving her was the hardest thing I'd done. I had to head to NYC for 2 and 1/2 days before getting my flight home. Getting on that plane home was the hard, I didn't want to leave, it felt like I built and started a new life in a different country, and that got swept from under my feet - like a rug being pulled out. I came back to nothing essentially, I had no job, no apartment/house, and no money. I had to live with my parents again something I hadn't done for 3 years, my ego was down and my self esteem was non existent. It took me 3 hours when I was back until I broke down into tears and cried for about an hour, I had left behind an amazing life and amazing girl.

I spent the next few weeks frantically looking at visas for both the US and the UK. It's insanely hard for either me or her to get one. The best route is marriage, and we spoke about marriage for a while and we decided to try that route. And the thing is it doesn't scare me at all, the thing that scares me is the thought of not having her in my life. And if I have to marry her to be with her then I will. We booked a courthouse/city hall wedding for the 9th Jan. I'm over to visit her for christmas and NYE, in that time I'll meet her family too. In the meantime, she's over here next month for days at the end of November, and I cannot wait.

We discussed about our marriage and said we'd like to do a proper one in a few years time. Where we can invite everyone we want to and can make it a special day. I plan to officially propose and buy her a ring though for her visit in November, something that doesn't look like an engagement ring so when I buy her a better one, it can be worn as a normal ring.

We looked at everything and predict that if the visa goes through we should be together by around June next year. We would apply in April.


Still I'm not sure why I'm back here, maybe I just needed to journal this. I plan to come back every now and then.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 6:54 am 
Offline
Post of the month winner!
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:53 am
Posts: 3102
I read your latest post a while ago and had many thoughts but didn't reply because your current situation isn't about pick up or even a relationship but more about YOUR life with a relationship. And there is nobody who can define or advise you about your life goals better than you. Just writing to let you know that I am keeping up with your journal. . . and if there are twists and bends that seem difficult, continue to post. As I have been through similiar circumstances, I, as well as a few others, might be able to offer some solutions.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 5:55 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2014 8:43 pm
Posts: 388
Location: Los Angeles, California
Wow, deep post. If you care about her then I agree with your decision to marry her. Hopefully it won't die out.

Even though it's not related to PUA, please keep posting.

_________________
Previously Rugby7

My PUA Journey (2014): http://bit.ly/1yYjtSV
MY PUA Journey (2015): the-342-journal-vol-2-rugby7-vt187356.html
My Workout (Read this): http://bit.ly/1zIQncY

Image Record: 131
Image Record: 124


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:41 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
Well it's all going well thus far. Everything seems to growing stronger which is probably the opposite of what people expected (myself included). We were apart for 3 months before we saw each other again, this was last week. Things have just evolved so rapidly between us. Our communication is amazing, probably because over webcam the only thing we can do is talk. But we're both down to earth individuals and hate passive aggressive ways of proving points or using ammo for arguments. We'd rather just sit down and have those difficult conversations. Being with her is just so easy though, it's very natural and straightforward - we share similar tastes and values in the world.

Out of all the uncertainties in my life right now, having her as a reliable source is the one thing I truly know is consistent. I guess the good thing is, since my 3 month placement in the USA I've had to come back and do somewhat of a life rebuild. For some reason my current circumstances don't make me feel attractive right now. So I almost feel comforted she can't see me for what I currently define as me. But women tend to fall in love with your potential I guess. Basically I'm in a job that I'm just doing to get the financial evidence that I can support a spouse, I live back with my parents, albeit this was a financial decision that helps me 1. pay off debt and 2. afford more plane tickets. Basically feeling very stagnant and back stepping.

The one good thing for me on the career front is I have been building a freelance career on the side in online digital marketing. Since I have very little experience in this field I had to start off working for free, but I'm working with an entrepreneur right now who I am learning a ton off of. He's been a CEO and now does something closely related to his role there, he does coaching and has a very successful book. I shot out a proposal to him and he took me onboard with a view of paying me in the future. Once I've setup what I planned to do, I have a leg to stand on to say, "this is what I've done for you. This is what will take you forward. This is how much I need to be able to do that." There's an exciting opportunity he has going on with a reputable car company and probably a big payout I could be apart of too. That's well into next year however.

I also have a business venture going with a clinical psych in sexual health and we identified a market for sexual health products and we're in the launching phase right now. It won't make money for a while though.

I'm in a position where I'm slowly developing into the person and individual I want to become at just 25 ( this weekend). It's going to be a hard slog, but I predict I'll be able to have the career and luxury to pick and choose my projects to work on in about a couple of years and live comfortably.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 7:02 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
This week my wife is currently in Central America on a trip as part of her grad program. I've not been in contact with her properly for a few days and it's been so horrible. I know she's ok - that's not the issue. It's I need to hear her voice everyday, it's one thing that keeps me going in this distance. She'll be back on Wednesday so I'll be able to talk to her as normal.

After being back for just over a month, I've felt my love chemicals run out. As in all the attention and love that your brain produces when you're with your significant other has now subsided and I feel very empty. I crave her touch and it's been difficult.

I've had this week off work and I've not been too busy really. In turn I've been irrevocably anxious and suffering from boredom. I've felt very isolated from the things I love this week. I've been trying to keep going but I've really been struggling. I guess the thing is I'm currently in a situation I can't really control, I just have to sit waiting. There's only so much progression I can make on my own.

I'm really trying to progress my freelance career and it is going forward. But for full time work I am trapped in a job I really hate. I can't change it just yet. I need 5 more weeks worth of work before I can look to change. The UKBA want to see the sponsor of an applicant in their job for 6 months at least. I'm so close now.

My body is calling out for the love and touch of my wife but it's just not an option. I'll be with her again in 5 weeks, which doesn't sound long, but to experience it, it is. The bonus of this though is we get to apply for her visa to come here to the UK. That'll be such a landmark, but I'm also terrified of the decision there is so much weighing on that. But I have been working hard on getting everything together already in advance. Now we can only hope for the best.

The weird thing is I'm really caught up on her sexual past. I really don't know why that is. It just keeps plaguing my mind. And it's not that it's bad. We have the same "count" if you like of people. But the fact she's almost 6 years older is probably a poorer reflection on me. I guess it maybe that she's had more relationships than me. I've only had one notable one, and one not-so-good but still crap one that happened about 13 months ago that made me miserable - you can find that misery that I wrote about here. I don't why this is bugging me, I can't get to the bottom of it.

I need to write here more. This was therapeutic.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 8:13 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2011 10:22 am
Posts: 1200
Location: London
Hey buddy, good to see you posting again!

First off, if she is your wife, congratulations! Secondly, I noticed you talk about her sexual past and how it's bothering you. It is insane how this is an issue for almost every man. It has been an issue for me, it has been an issue for valleyplaya, and I think it is now an issue for Enzo. I know I am STILL not over my girlfriend's past, and I never ever will be. However I am also in a "looser" relationship. We are together, but she will be travelling for 3 months, in which case we have decided to be really open and hit on, kiss, and potentially fuck other people.

The past will never get out of your head. It is something that will stay inside of you, however it is your choice to focus on it, or to let it pass. It is extremely difficult with distance, because you crave that person, and your body is feeling a lack; it is as if she has decided to leave you! Obviously, she hasn't, but your body feels like she has, because you are not getting the physicality. Therefore your brain and body go into withdrawal symptoms, just like how it would be if she broke up with you, but not so intense since you logically know she hasn't. Therefore jealousy arises, but who can you be jealous of if she is seeing no one apart from you? Her exes obviously! Her past lovers! And your mind dwells on this as a second option due to all the withdrawal symptoms. It is all linked together. This is my theory at least.

Once she is back and you are physically together these thoughts will go away, simply because your brain and body are getting what they are used to and fixated on again. I, too, feel the depression that comes with not seeing your girlfriend. It is incredibly tough. It is a daily struggle, but also make sure you are moving forward. I have had a hard time with this, but always get myself back on track. Make sure you do the same.

Hope all goes well dude! And again, good to see you posting!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Artful Roger Journal
PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 9:35 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm
Posts: 198
Location: London
Tr@veler wrote:
Hey buddy, good to see you posting again!

First off, if she is your wife, congratulations! Secondly, I noticed you talk about her sexual past and how it's bothering you. It is insane how this is an issue for almost every man. It has been an issue for me, it has been an issue for valleyplaya, and I think it is now an issue for Enzo. I know I am STILL not over my girlfriend's past, and I never ever will be. However I am also in a "looser" relationship. We are together, but she will be travelling for 3 months, in which case we have decided to be really open and hit on, kiss, and potentially fuck other people.

The past will never get out of your head. It is something that will stay inside of you, however it is your choice to focus on it, or to let it pass. It is extremely difficult with distance, because you crave that person, and your body is feeling a lack; it is as if she has decided to leave you! Obviously, she hasn't, but your body feels like she has, because you are not getting the physicality. Therefore your brain and body go into withdrawal symptoms, just like how it would be if she broke up with you, but not so intense since you logically know she hasn't. Therefore jealousy arises, but who can you be jealous of if she is seeing no one apart from you? Her exes obviously! Her past lovers! And your mind dwells on this as a second option due to all the withdrawal symptoms. It is all linked together. This is my theory at least.

Once she is back and you are physically together these thoughts will go away, simply because your brain and body are getting what they are used to and fixated on again. I, too, feel the depression that comes with not seeing your girlfriend. It is incredibly tough. It is a daily struggle, but also make sure you are moving forward. I have had a hard time with this, but always get myself back on track. Make sure you do the same.

Hope all goes well dude! And again, good to see you posting!



Thanks. She is, partly because there's just literally no other woman I've cared about or loved more. It was a very easy decision, the hardest thing is being apart, I guess it's just a matter of time until we are together permanently, hopefully this year - July seems likely.

That's hard work being separated by travel, for me it was only a week. I wish you all the strength in the world. I certainly couldn't agree to what you have with her (i.e. potentially meeting other people).

I would actually agree with your theory in this case, I think it's spot on and something I've been thinking of in the past, perhaps not to the same precision, but I had awareness of where it was coming from.



Re: getting myself on track.

I knew I was anxious and have been executing action steps to bring it down, I now:
- Meditate for 5minutes every morning as soon as I wake
- Drink less coffee, I'm trying to enjoy it rather than need it
- Get at least 7.5hrs sleep every night
- Tried to make my morning routine automatic, and get a good breakfast in, 30g protein in 30 mins has been working incredibly


My future plans:
- Get back in shape, I haven't been to a gym or had a run since April last year!
- Turn my freelance stuff into paid work soon, I'm almost at a stage where I can do that

I think it's important not to throw everything in at once, otherwise that can be paralysing and more anxiety provoking.

_________________
My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 183 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 9, 10, 11, 12, 13  Next

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to: