The Sharpest Edge


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 Post subject: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:31 pm 
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Good evening gents,


The name is Stoliar, this is my log. It might be field, lay, or just everyday interaction. Every lesson life hands out, I will take.

The profile: 25, student, 185cm, 80kgs, Caucasian, good-looking but not an Adonis either.

Positive points: for the most important, strong-willed, methodical and with a good sense of analysis. When I'm "on" I'm terribly funny and entertaining, and the world is mine.

Negative points: not "on" so much these days, just out from a depression peppered with anxiety disorder (everyone-hates-me style). Still some confidence to build. At times I stutter and my mind goes blank of things to say. I wear glasses (working on changing that), and have some hearing impairment (hard to hear in noisy places; but if, as Style says, there are deaf PUA, there is hope).

Top score: eight, ranging from 5 to 8.

Goal: becoming confident in every stage of my interactions with women. Concretely, I'll make out with an 8+ this year. Or die trying.

Means: read the literature (manuals & self-help books), watch videos. Field work at least two nights a week, opening at least five sets each time. Plus any other occasions that could come. Wish I could do more field, but studies come first.

Any constructive comment welcome, and God help me.


Stoliar


Score (reset for the year): 0 set / 0 kiss / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:20 pm 
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Hey Buddy. Looking forward to seeing how this develops. I've sent you a PM.


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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 2:51 pm 
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Hey Electro, cheers for the up, I PMed you back.

So here's for week 1.

In short: went out a couple of times, once at a bowling event, once at a party. Got some facebook contacts. Nothing romantic though.

Positive points: was able to enjoy myself at both events and feel relax. Had conversation in a light vibe, with people laughing at my jokes. Started a shy kino with one girl (but didn't push it further). On my way to the party I started talking to some random dude in the streets who appeared to be going to the same place--hence I walked in not alone. A girl asked my facebook on her own (yeah I know it's petty stuff, but it felt good for a starter).

Negative points: forgot to walk in smiling. Once I opened this girl in the most awkward way, by standing behind a friend she was talking to, waiting for their conversation to pause to step in. While going to the events was a challenge in itself, I was still too shy to talk to the girls I saw as targets.

On the side: started listening to Anthony Robbins audiobook of "Awaken the giant within." Besides the self-motivation aspect, it's a great way to get rid of the social fear when going out, and I'm thinking of emulating Mystery in trying to develop speech mannerisms a la Robbins.

To check in the future: walk in smiling. Apply the three-second rule when spotting a target. Learn some kino routines (like showing the different US handshakes).

As usual any comment welcome.

Score: 5 sets / 0 romantic # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 2:41 pm 
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Week 2

In short: rather disappointing week, I failed to push myself out of my comfort zone. A couple of interactions, nothing serious.

Positive points:
Made the effort of getting into the venues smiling.
Forced my eye contact.
In everyday circumstances made the effort to actually talk to acquaintances I pass by instead of the dead "wazzup? wazzup" exchange.
Forced myself to go out a couple of times when I was actually scared like shit of stepping outside. Yeah I know I'm a pathological case. Pushed myself to open people, although just the kind of girls I'm not interested in.

Negative points:
Didn't challenge myself enough. At the gym there was this green-haired Asian girl I wanted to talk to, I kept my mouth shut during the 10-second window the heaven granted me. Fuck that.
While I was talking to another girl at the gym I noticed I was asking too many questions, the conversation felt awkward, I should have talked more (remember: first interaction you do 90% of the talking).
I went to this feminist event, plenty of girls, but I managed to go straight to the only fucking all-male set and stay there.
At an event at a bar, got into that set and talk to that quirky girl, managed to make her laugh a couple of times, but at some point found myself running out of things to say. Blank mind. Ugh. She went away, basta.
Last but not least I was at this party and things were going pretty smoothly until that AMOG walked into the room. The second I saw him I knew I was fucked. For the rest of the night I was nervous and shy. The AMOG was a great guy, mind you, but I just couldn't bring my balls to grow as big as his.

On the side:
Started the week depressed. In the middle of the week it went better, then the AMOG experience sent me down again. I should read stuff like "The six pillars of self-esteem" and deal with my mood swings. Should learn not to let myself be that affected by negative experiences.
Also, started reading Gambler's Natural.
I'm also finding myself lowering my standards. Of girls who didn't hook me for a starter I now think "Yeah, why not, that's the best I can get for now" Don't know if it's a good thing...

To check in the future:
Keep smiling. Three-second rule. Challenge yourself. No need to kino, no need for #-close: for now we're focusing on opening and building comfort.

As usual any comment welcome.

Score: 11 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 1:10 pm 
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Week 3

In short: bad week. No time to think about PU, I'm having bigger problems, both academically and personally. Will do my best to deal with these before resuming my PU quest.

Score: 11 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 5:23 pm 
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Week 4

In short: recovering from last week. Back to the antipsycho meds. Went out a couple of times and worked on my approach anxiety.

Positive points:
Got into the venues smiling.
Approached a couple of sets without too much awkwardness.
A couple of times, I saw a girl I was interested in leaving with a dude, and switched to the right mindset of "no big deal, fishes abound and hooks are sharp."

Negative points:
Didn't talk to that 8 redhead I was interested in.
Going to these dance lessons, every time 10 minutes before it starts the room is full with girls chirping. Didn't manage to start any conversation. Boy, you need to man up.
During one conversation with a two-set I asked about some party, a girl replied "you should come" and I said something lame like "Nah, it's not my kind of event blah blah blah."
Engaged a 7 but didn't telegraph enough interest. When she mentioned her job I should've said something like "Wow, you got a lot of responsibilities! I like that."

To check in the future:
Challenge yourself. Next dance lesson you GOTTA talk to a girl. You see a girl you like = you open. Also: next time you open a girl, try to make her smile/laugh.

Score: 13 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 3:23 pm 
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Week 5

In short: going out more, found a couple of guys from the community in my area, it's cool not to be alone in the learning process. Started a few activities (storytelling, volunteering in a school...) aimed at reducing my AA. Pushed my weekly set opening record to 6, hopefully next week I can aim at the 10.

Positive points:
Had two solid set openings: first one led the girl to start kinoing me (or maybe she was touchy or drunk), second one I managed to have a very friendly connection with the girls, with genuine laughs from time to time.
Half of the time, I used situational openers, which I believe are the best because more authentic.

Negative points:
One crash-n-burn set was the shame of the week. Waited a few seconds too long before opening. Canned opener delivered with stuttering, did some cold reading with the girls drinks but wasn't very convincing, and the last nail on the coffin was when I did the best-friend test but the girl seemed to have had it in the past. On top of that it was a 4-set, so pretty ambitious. Meh, someday I'll laugh about it.
Joked about a girl's name--man, never do that again.
Didn't feel like I was pushing myself to the limit, but rather leaving the sets by fear of the girls turning me down.
Still had a couple of sets that could have been opened but weren't, thank you AA.

On the side:
As said above, I started going to some storytelling workshops, where you gotta deliver a story in front of a dozen of people. Also started volunteering at a middle school (for other reasons than PU, you creeps), I find it a great help against AA: the kids are like little animals, the moment you show your fear you're a dead man.
Revised my "means" as stated in the first post, now aiming at 3 outings per week, totaling at least 10 sets opened.
Talked to a couple of girls during dance lesson. Overall feeling like AA starts fading away.

To check in the future:
Warm up before going to the sarge area. Talk to people in the streets.
Keep the conversation flowing as long as you can. Make them laugh. Engage into friendly kino.
Seize every fucking possible occasion to open.

Score: 19 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 11:42 pm 
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Week 6

In short: opened 9 sets. AA is pretty much gone for party/social circles, will see later how it goes for day game. I hit the second wall that is kino escalation, from now on I gotta work on that.

Positive points:
Pretty cool exchange with a Chinese 8, negged her, pushed her to validate herself, got good response.
Getting good with situational openers.
A few exceptions apart, getting good at banter too, can lead a decent conversation. Watching out not to talk about too serious stuff, nor about negative stuff.

Negative points:
Still some moments when I forget to smile when getting in.
Twice I found myself facing a 2-set as if excluded from it. I should work on the locking: when I notice I'm being outed, I should move myself in a better position.
Once I pushed a smooth opener just to find out I didn't have anything in mind for what to say next.
As for the Chinese 8, couldn't get past the incidental kino (shoulder touching mainly). Welcome to KA (kino anxiety)!

To check in the future:
I should think of having something like three routines of things to talk about, and rehearse them before going out. Preferably with some DHV embedded.
Should definitely be looking for the girl to stop me in my kino progression. If she doesn't stop me I'm not doing enough.

Score: 28 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 6:19 pm 
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Week 7

In short: shitty week, got back to serious AA with some self-esteem issues on top. 2 approaches, nothing much out of 'em.

Positive points:
Nothing, seriously nothing.

Negative points:
Only 2 approaches, nothing past the opener. First time I didn't have a clue what to say next, second time I got a good laugh from the girls and some nice words in place of a GFY.

On the side:
One of my biggest problems is that I'm not around people for most of the week. My typical day consists in sitting in the library with a book and a piece of paper, digesting the content of my courses. So when comes the time for me to speak out, even with friends, I would just stay silent, not knowing what to say. Sometimes it makes it so hard when I approach: I cannot have a normal conversation with a friend, what am I supposed to do with a girl I don't know?
So we got a problem, we need a solution. I'll try to keep myself as busy as possible, seeing people as often as possible. This week has shown me that I just need to have a few days of isolation to relapse to this state of mind-blankness. I'll be careful about this in the future.
I'm also considering taking one hour every day to day-game downtown. I need to grow some balls before I can get there though, AA is killing me. I know I can do that, I did it in the past. First step is just setting the time aside.

I also gotta work on my low self-esteem. When I walked into this bar last Friday, I had this strong feeling that 90% of the guys around me were taller, more handsome, more interesting and more energetic than me.
I mentioned earlier Branden's "6 pillars of self-esteem." I find his way of thinking a bit too old-school and generic ("be responsible of your life! be aware of what you're doing and why you're doing it!"), and the exercises suggested terse. My shrink advised me to have a look at M. Fennell's "Overcoming low self-esteem," will give it a try.
Will also read parts of the manuals I got on internal game, and see what it's worth.

To check in the future:
Keep busy and talk to as many people as possible. Don't mind the game, just be Mr. Sociable. Priority now is AA, again.

Score: 30 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 11:30 am 
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Week 8

In short: going from bad to worse. Had a huge crisis of self-esteem this week, in the past few days I've been drinking too much. I bought and consumed a whole pack of Marlboros (I don't usually smoke, never bought cigarettes before). Made a few plans to go out and meet new people, but got scared and cancelled them. It's beyond PU, at times I just don't see why anybody would wanna hire me for any job or PhD position.
I know I'm good, I know I used to do an amazing job, people have told me I'm an exceptional friend, an exceptional student, girls have told me I'm the kind of guy you wanna marry right away. But now I'm going through my pockets and for the love of Mike I can't find this awesomeness I used to have.

For now I'm taking time off this journal, and I will try to fix up my life. There's no use trying to pick up girls if I can't even face a random human being. I hope to be back here soon.

Score: 30 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 12:19 pm 
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Well done on starting this report.

After 8 weeks are you really going to give up now though?

From your first post: "Positive points: for the most important, strong-willed, methodical and with a good sense of analysis. When I'm "on" I'm terribly funny and entertaining, and the world is mine."

You should read that back to yourself again.

I think the problem that you had was in setting your goals too low.

"Goal: becoming confident in every stage of my interactions with women. Concretely, I'll make out with an 8+ this year. Or die trying."...

What the fuck man. Your getting involved in pick up and the only thing you want to achieve this year is to make out with an 8+, are you fucking kidding me?

You have another nine months until we pass into 2017 and I'm pretty sure that within that period of time you can achieve a whole lot more than that. Too many guys in this community think too low of themselves. One of the biggest traits that attracts girls in the first place is extreme self confidence and persistence in your character. How about setting the goal of fucking 10 girls by the end of this year, whilst making some sort of progression in your career?

Quit with the depressing losers mindset. It's not going to get you anywhere. The only person who is going to feel the sting if you back away now and start procrastinating is your future self. From reading you've made some decent steps in the last 8 weeks. You got yourself out there, challenged approach anxiety and took some positive action.

With 30 approaches and 0 numbers you're obviously lacking in a lot of areas of your game. An OK player should fuck on average about 3 out of 10 girls that he approaches, that's what you should be aiming for eventually.

Don't let these figures scare you. That's what you should be aiming for eventually (or even better than that). For now just figure out what your doing wrong at the moment and make the necessary adjustments to put you on the path to bettering your numbers at the moment. Do another 30 approaches after that and you might see a little progress. It probably won't be dramatic but it might just be enough to keep you motivated to carry on to achieving your goals.

You're just at a plateau or as others call it "the dip"; you either give up and fail like most people do or you reflect and then carry on and take steps towards the future success that you really want.

Are we going too see a week 9?

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2016 9:58 pm 
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Just a quick reply: thanks Natural Dec for your support. These last five months or so have been the worst in my life (not just because of a "depressing loser mindset" but with a genuine depression, destructive behavior, suicidal impulses and tutti quanti), and adding PU on top of that, as a pretty challenging hobby, was definitely not the smartest thing to do.

I'm now finishing my year, working it all on the exams, and I'm getting the hell out of the UK (no offense if you're British, that's just not my kind of place). I'll be back in France next month, and with all the free time I want for the summer that'll be a great opportunity to start fresh and challenge myself in the local crowd, both day and night.

Insha'Allah you'll hear about me again!

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:28 pm 
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So here I am back in hometown for the next ten weeks. Three cheers for the land of champagne !

And also back to a healthier lifestyle. I quit smoking (bye bye Djarum Black darlings), cook my own meals instead of supermarket precooked junk, and exercise everyday (got some belly fat to burn). Arranged a couple of meetings with the optician, by next week I should have a box of lenses ready for the girls to check out my sexy eyes.
Also now I make a point of talking to as many people as possible when going out, be that women or men, young, old, fat or skinny. At first I felt like I was telling lame jokes, but then I started getting genuine laughs so it looks like I'm getting the vibe.

As for PU, the plan is to go out three times a week, for two day games and one night game sessions. Not sure what I can expect from myself, but for a starter I'd set the bar to ten targets a session. Obviously the thought of it scares me, I've been looking on some French forums for wingmen, but I should be prepared to go lone wolf style. Tentatively I set Wednesday and Thursday for the day games, Friday night for the night game.

If I don't report by the end of next week that means I'll have chickened out.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:16 am 
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As for last week, let's call it a 90% chickening out. Went out twice for day game, but could only engage men and unattractive women. On the first day I spotted some HBs but couldn't think of anything to say. I checked some literature for openers, especially a YouTube channel by a French PUA (Nicolas Dolteau). Went back the second day, had the openers in mind, but when the girl came by I just couldn't.

Just gotta keep going out and put the pressure until the cork pops out.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 9:16 am 
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I finally found a fellow aspiring player in town, we went out sarging yesterday afternoon. I managed to give a first stab in my AA by approaching two sets. Both approaches were pretty short though, during the first I asked a couple of yes/no questions, realized it was going wrong when all they were replying was "yes, yes" and left; second time the woman's hubby came to the rescue after 30 seconds.
Gotta keep rolling and aim at the 10 approaches/outing.

Resetting the score: 2 sets / 0 # / 0 love

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