The Sharpest Edge


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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:08 am 
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Thanks Mr. A.

Another date until the night with Cassy, we're in bed and I'm heating her up but keep bumping into LMR. I freeze, then escalate again. But it looks like she's not putting out soon.
She tells me about a bad experience a few months ago, I'm ok with that and compassionate about it, but I promised myself I wouldn't deal any more with the previous guy's shit. So I keep going. She moans, she's enjoying it, but the V is hands off (though I manage to get an unfinished handjob from her).
I tell her that I'm poly, she says she's ok with me fucking other girls but not falling in love, I say it's not what poly is about. She pulls the usual shitty misconceptions about poly, gradually losing my respect, so I tell her it's not gonna work, I get dressed, she says "That sucks, but I understand. But don't you want to spend the night here anyway?" Holy WTF. With that line the little respect left is gone, and so am I.

Night of the 24th, shitty outing with a PU rookie. There's a couple of sets in the bar, I open one creepily and I'm done for the night. Sets me up with an AA that follows me for a few days. Which leads to:

How to deal with AA: here's my 2¢ on it. I decide to go to a social Meetup with this in mind: "You're not here to score, you're just here to put into practice everything you learned, minus the sexual part. No objective whatsoever, so NOTHING can go wrong. And you don't care with who you talk, girl, guy, young or old."
Meaning: I enter with a smile on my face, I approach the first group I notice, interrupt the person who's speaking to introduce myself (without the fear of rejection, because these Meetups are made precisely for strangers to meet each others), work on posture, eye contact, speak loud and with emotions (à la Tony Robbins), kino everybody, and make sure that I make up the majority of the conversation. And if I fail to keep that in any way, that's still ok, because there's no objective whatsoever.

And it works. I talk to an 40-something couple for an hour or so, then a girl (Dawna) comes to the group to say that the Meetup is bouncing to another place.
There I feel that AA is gone, and I transition to game mode. I joke with Dawna, at the other place the group leader has one moment of hesitation ("where should we sit?") so I point one space of the bar and say "let's go over there", walking without waiting for anybody to agree and ushering Dawna to follow me. I sit up with her, build comfort for an hour or so, she tells me she likes wine but that place doesn't have good one, I ask her which place in town has and tell her "let's go there then!" Beautiful insta-date, the place is quieter and more intimate. I escalate the kino (I didn't start at the first place, should have), she's shy but she lets me do and she bites back when I gently sass her. #-close is as far as I go because she tells me her mom is visiting the next day (and shy as she is she's clearly not the sex-then-let's-welcome-mom type). We make up vague plans for the future, then a good-bye hug and that's it.

Finally started apps and OkC, so far two conversations started on Coffe Meets Bagel and WOOT WOOT just got a date for tomorrow with a girl (Elena). Thanks Eddie Fews for his lesson of how to start a convo with a personally-tailored compliment (she had a straw hat and a tight dress, I asked if she was waitressing in Copacabana). I set up the date for something that felt incredibly early in the convo (6th message), not sure if that's good or bad but I feel like she was inviting me to. Probably wrote too much (my texts are twice the size of hers, and setting the date I sent three messages in a row, which felt awkward on my side). Told her a tentative hour and that I'll confirm tomorrow (flake insurance).
Nothing to report from Bumble, OkC or Tinder.

From now on, will keep going out three nights a week, to low-pressure Meetups if AA is there, to bars alone if I feel the courage. Will work on approaching, kino and building comfort.
And work on my text game: personal compliments and sending texts of size similar to hers.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:37 am 
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One date with Elena, at a tapas bar then bouncing to a wine bar. She was a bit on the defensive, crossed her arms often, which led me to doubt how comfortable she would be with my kino, leading to awkward kino (lame taps on the shoulder, etc.). I kept jumping between serious answers to her questions (not boasting here, but the humble story of my life is full of DHVs) and joking.
At the wine bar, as the conversation goes on and we establish comfort, I slowly turn to face her (we're at the counter), my leg touches hers, I keep it active (forgot where I read that, but golden advice) by slowly pulling my leg up and down, just a bit, telling myself she'll pull off if she doesn't like it. We slowly face each other, conversation still running, and somehow her knees find their way between my legs. I got my hand on my thigh, stroking hers with the thumb. When I notice she's comfortable with it I pass my hand on her thigh, keeping it active (hand steady, thumb stroking her jeans). By this time I know the k-door is open. When she stops talking I look at her without saying anything, she holds my look for a few seconds, and I go for the kiss.
No make-out because it's not the right place, and she tells me that she gotta go home early because of a visit at the doctor the next day. I let it be there.

That apart, matching a fair amount of time on Tinder, some on Bumble and CoffeMeetsBagel. OkCupid is freaking dead. My text game is too slow and mostly just joking from now. No idea how to transition to real-life meeting, apart from brutally say "let's meet". I'll be looking up some reference on text game.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:00 pm 
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Second date with Elena goes super awkward. Both of us are tired. I'm having a hard time re-escalating and getting back to the previous date's level of comfort. A few drinks later, we exchange kisses at a bar, I hint at going back to my place AFC-style ("I have some Korean wine back home, you wanna try?"), she says she's tired. She goes home on her own.

I feel I've fucked up for good, but still I send her a follow-up message the next day, positive, smiley and all. Her response: "I had a great time, sorry if I faded in the end, still recuperating"

Moral of the story: even if you fuck up, proceed as if you haven't. Don't mention anything negative that happened.

Few days later I invite her for dinner at my place, we end up making out in my room. Lots of LMR, she pulls my hand out each time it goes for the crotch, and I must work her up for an hour or so before she lets me kiss her breasts. I sexualize our conversations, less than I should have though. No sex in the end, no idea if the LMR is because she wants me as a boyfriend or because of periods or anything. The only hint I get is, when I kiss her stomach, her saying "You make it hard for me to keep my resolve" "What resolve?" "You know what I'm talking about"

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One boring date with Dawna, she pulls a long face all along. Still laughs to my jokes and allows for some kino, but that's it. Hardly initiate the conversation or anything. At least the venue (winery) is interesting on its own. I'm letting her be from now on, my time is too valuable to be with boring people.

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Almost forgot (damn me if I start forgetting my successes): #-closed that girl at an event at the university. We texted a bit then I forgot about her. Will resume the convo today and suggest a date within 2-3 texts.

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At a poly gathering, I bump into this girl (Fiona). I had met her at the same gathering one month ago, texted her, and had a drink with her and her boyfriend. I neg her involuntarily: walking toward her for a hug, she thinks the hug is for her, open her arms, and meets the empty space as I hug my friend sitting right next to her. I notice that though, and I'm quick to include her into a threesome hug (as a routine that neg-then-qualification would be priceless, but it requires so much timing it's too unpractical).

I ask her about her boyfriend, she says he's sick and at home, I show empathy. I get back to my seat, she follows me up there a few minutes later (IOI). No chairs around so I usher her to sit on my laps, which she does (compliance test). I feel my fucking face flush but I keep the discussion going on as if nothing. I got one hand on the small of her back, one hand on her thigh, both lightly stroking. I also notice the power of pre-selection: other girls give me the eye as in "most guys here are dorks, but that girl is sitting on this guy's laps, he must be cool." Our faces are super close which allows for great eye gazing as we speak.

When we bounce to another place I look at her and ask her if I can kiss her (sounds AFC to you? if works GREAT if you ask without apologizing). She says she only mouthkisses her boyfriend, but I can kiss her cheek. I go for the neck, three tender kisses. We walk with the crew, then she tells me biting is ok too, so there I go :D

At the next venue she says she's too tired and worried about her BF, and is going home. I send her off with a hug (no kissing because I want to keep the tension in her). One hour later she texts me "I've been thinking about you the whole drive home" :mrgreen:

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That apart, will find some time to start messaging back those +10 matches I got on Tinder. Started getting some replies on OkC (including one #), my understanding is you should tone down the flirting and go for honesty and bluntness (credit for the advice goes to JSmooth).

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 5:49 am 
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Nothing much for this week. Got sick. Cancelled the date planned with the university girl (Grace), had to refuse an invitation from Elena (she invited me though, proactive girl, I like that). Went to do daygame with a new guy in town, he's really motivating and a great excuse to get out there and practice. Will keep space in my schedule for him.

Feeling better now but I'm broke, after the groceries I got $5 left to spend for the whole week, Elena is waiting for me to suggest a date and there's this cute girl I #-closed on CMB I could take on to a date too. If only I had the money. I need to develop a budget consciousness when I'm out (got that bad habit of trying new cocktails and stuff without keeping track of the bill).

Which makes me think I might at least try aggressive Tinder game, ask the girl to come directly to my flat to get some absinthe, and straight to bed.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:50 pm 
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Back on tracks. Three dates, one social, one night sarging.

Cute girl #-closed on CMB (let's call her Hazel): on the day before the date we spend three hours texting, building comfort, I tease her on her age (she's 19). On the day we go from coffee shop to a furniture store. I kino her a bit on the way (taps on shoulders and back), we start trying the beds, she lies on one of them, I lean on her side, we talk. We do this for one, two, three beds and I feel like the vibe is there so I get close and kiss her (nobody's around the shop). That's less than an hour into the date. She says "you're moving fast" but doesn't refuse my kisses. From then on throughout the date intimate kino ensues, touching each other's face, outer and inner thighs. Which makes me think, although it might have been too early, the kiss was right in that it just broke a wall that needed to be broken to let us pass to a more intimate vibe.

The date goes on, and one bad thing happens: she punches my frame so hard I give way to hers, meaning, she asks me to hold her bag for her, and somehow I don't find the balls to say no. Or when we grab some dinner and at the end she tells me "let's split, but you cover the tip", that sounds fair to me but still feels like she's the one leading. What I should have done: accept these, but still reminding myself that I'm doing it not because she asks me to but because I'm ok with that. I believe just having the difference in perspective would have reflected in a stronger frame.

I suggest that we get back to her car, we spend some time there singing (we both like singing), cuddling, then she drives me back to my place, on the parking lot we start making out but either because I want to keep the tension there, or because I want to get my frame back, or both, I end it up quickly (she mentioned periods so I don't invite her to my place). She texts me a few minutes after she's left, mentioning how eager she was about the kisses, so I take it as a sign that it worked.

Bottom line: I need to be careful about my frame, not letting people step on my feet. And listen to my gut feelings about when it's ok to kiss.

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A friend invites me to a pizza party, where I bump into that girl (Iris). Build up comfort and attraction easily. I could have kinoed more, all I could do was our legs touching each other. She drives me back home at the end of the party, I feel like there's timing for a kiss but somehow I don't, once again for fear of liberating the tension that's been building up.

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One date with Grace, she gives me an intellectual hard-on. Damn she's so smart, with deep ideas, and her singing voice is so fucking awesome. Hell I'm falling in love. Coffee then walk in the park, we play on the swings, which gives a good kino opportunity. No k-close, once again I'm saving the tension for later. She texts me a few hours after we leave each other, telling me she had a great time and we need to meet again to discuss XYZ. Hallelujah.

Fun thing: at the beginning of the date we mentioned speech giving and the importance of eye contact. From then on I make a point of piercing her soul with my eyes. Felt great, I should do that more often.

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One night out with my favourite wing. He introduces me to a group of girls he was meeting with. I'm talking to this girl in the group and we go through attraction and comfort very easily, although I feel like my brain starts working slowly, I'm tired and having hard times thinking of things to say. I ask her three of her qualities, she replies, but when she asks me back I'm having a very hard time replying (should think beforehand of what to say then). Another barrier: she's sitting, I'm standing, and I have no fucking idea how to isolate her. The place is packed and it's pretty hard even just to lead her to the bar. I should think of routines to have her stand up. Good kino progression though, I could have advanced quicker, but I was really running short of imagination.

When we bounce I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, I excuse myself and leave the group. Begging the question: should I just focus on day game, given that I'm often running out of fuel at night? or should I challenge myself, play with coffee and make sure I'm full of energy? I also noticed my self-esteem plummeting when we bounced to that other place and I saw all these buff guys playing pool with these cute girls. At some point of my game, after having developed a tight basis, I should work on stopping being intimidated by both AMOGs and sexy girls.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 7:32 pm 
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Foreword: sex is like champagne, you long to taste it so you make efforts around the cork, you push, you push, you push, and when there's enough pressure it explodes and there's white mess all over the place for every mouth to taste.
Translating to: after three months of dry spell, got laid four times this week with three girls. Booyah!

Brought Hazel to my place. Got my frame back, when she'd do something I didn't like I'd tell her straight. Like we were having dinner, she sat on my laps, not 90-degree angle but her back to me, I didn't like it (couldn't bring food to my mouth, couldn't kiss her) so I just said "get out of me," she complied. After dinner I told her (note: I didn't ask) to follow me to my room to give me a massage (she works at a massage place). On the bed I took my shirt off, things went hot, sex ensued.

Later that week I brought her to my flatmate's party. Once again I saw Hazel punching at my frame, realized she's the bratty type who one minute would be "take your hands off me" and the next "put your hands on my hips," or would be like "I'm cold, do something for me!" It's a great test for frame control, though overall that third time I didn't pass it, probably because I was high (we'd consumed some weed beforehand).

Another thing: sex was terrible. She's open to any position, we did it standing in front of the bathroom mirror, but even there she's bratty, hardly proactive, and she puts too many barriers (no biting, no French kissing, no fingering except on the clit...). Will tell her about it next time I see her (another test to my frame), and we'll see where it goes.

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Went at Elena's place to cook some French dish. After dinner, discussed with her and her flatmate. Once her flatmate is gone I asked Elena if I could stay over, she yessed. Had long-overdue first sex, better than Hazel but still mediocre. There's nothing to save from this interaction so I'll ease her into departure.

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Date with Iris. I hug her when we meet, put her arm around mine. She's into kink so it's easy to sexualize the conversation. We go visit a museum, then I ask her (using "why don't you..." and not "can you...") to show me around the place where she lives. In her car we discuss dirty talking and how you can arouse somebody just with words. We stop by a cafe, we sit at 90-degree angle, while drinking I gently rub my leg against her (damnit that's become a signature!), put my hand on my knee, caress her leg by the tip of my fingers. Talking about outdoor sex, our faces are close and we have solid gazing into each other, so I just ask her if I can kiss her, she says yes, makeout ensues.

We exit the cafe, makeout and fingering in her car, I break contact and tell her to show me the waterfront. We drive, weather is shit, I tell her "why don't we go to your place," adding "we don't need to have sex, but we'll be more comfortable there."

We go, she leads me to her room, we fuck. She gives me the sloppiest blowjob ever, with beautiful eye contact and hot deepthroat.

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Went to hang out at Grace's place. We get coffee and a piece of cake she's made, I tease her, joke with her. I map her kino comfort zone: shoulders yes, hands yes, back yes, hug yes, head no, face no, legs no. We talk about the coming Valentine's day, I tell her I've never had a date on that day, ask her about her dates, she mentions the only boyfriend she ever had, she gets gloomy. I switch to comforting mode, at some point she starts crying and I hug her hard, then let go. Then I ask her to sing for me (again: she's an amazing singer), then I sing her something. Overall good time even if I didn't k-close (see reasons below): I got her to experience a breadth of emotions, while increasing psycho and kino comfort. Insha'Allah next time should be good for a k-close.

Problem: she's Asian, conservative, inexperienced. She told me she wants a boyfriend to marry. I feel like I love her, and want to make her happy (not to the point of marrying her though!); but to account for her naivety I need to be honest about the kind of person I am, for instance telling her about Fiona (see below). Will get to honesty next time, after k-close.

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Last but not least: had a few text exchanges with poly girl Fiona. We sexted, she sent me nudes. Her boyfriend is ok with the whole thing. We're all looking forward to meeting again next weekend, possibly for fist sex.

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Direction I'm gonna take from now on: the girls I spent time with are still within my HB comfort zone (HB6 at best). Now is the time to tighten my standards and look for sexier bodies and minds. I shut up my OkC and CMB accounts, from now on will focus on Tinder and Bumble. The hunt is on.

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Last edited by Stoliar on Mon Feb 06, 2017 7:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 7:38 pm 
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Stoliar wrote:
Another thing: sex was terrible. She's open to any position, we did it standing in front of the bathroom mirror, but even there she's bratty, not quite proactive, sometimes she pulls awful shit (she started telling me about how that other guy was awesome in bed, while I was eating her), and she puts too many barriers (no biting, no French kissing, no fingering except on the clit...). Will tell her about it next time I see her (another test to my frame), and we'll see where it goes. Overall her brattiness is starting getting on my nerves, but if the sex gets better I could keep her on my booty list.



I am no stranger to the lays but trust me man, if a girl is annoying and she isn't even a good lay, she isn't worth keeping her on the booty rotation. She will end up getting you irritated every time you guys meet. I had a russian girl couple months ago. Rude as fuck and I dished it back but she was annoying in the end. I stopped meeting her and I have been happy to not waste any more quality time with girls who annoy the shit out of me.

I'd give it one more go if I were you. If it's a shit time, don't call her again...you will thank me later.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 6:56 am 
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Mr. Assertive wrote:
Stoliar wrote:
Another thing: sex was terrible. She's open to any position, we did it standing in front of the bathroom mirror, but even there she's bratty, not quite proactive, sometimes she pulls awful shit (she started telling me about how that other guy was awesome in bed, while I was eating her), and she puts too many barriers (no biting, no French kissing, no fingering except on the clit...). Will tell her about it next time I see her (another test to my frame), and we'll see where it goes. Overall her brattiness is starting getting on my nerves, but if the sex gets better I could keep her on my booty list.



I am no stranger to the lays but trust me man, if a girl is annoying and she isn't even a good lay, she isn't worth keeping her on the booty rotation. She will end up getting you irritated every time you guys meet. I had a russian girl couple months ago. Rude as fuck and I dished it back but she was annoying in the end. I stopped meeting her and I have been happy to not waste any more quality time with girls who annoy the shit out of me.

I'd give it one more go if I were you. If it's a shit time, don't call her again...you will thank me later.


Thanks for the advice Mr. A, I hear what you say and I agree. That being said I gave her her chance tonight, and she behaved well. I kept my frame solid, showed her that I'm only letting her get away with what I'm cool with. Gave her feedback on a couple of things she did last time, she seemed genuinely surprised and sorry.

We had decent sex, I taught her one thing or two on BJs, found out she enjoyed being spanked and called bad girl. She asked to do it shades pulled up (truth be told I started heating her up while leaving shades up on purpose), she wanted the people in the neighboring building to see. We talked about having sex in the middle of a hike. Damn she's so wicked.

But bottom line, I'm glad I met her, if anything she taught me to have a solid frame, be more dominant in bed, and to give feedback before calling it quit (though I was 100% ready to call it off if she'd not listen to me).

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:39 am 
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Nothing much to report this week. Saw my two FWB (Hazel and Iris), sent Elena off, had one boring date not worth mentioning, gave up on Grace. Also had my first experience of MMF threesome, learned a couple of things I'll be able to use back on FFM.

Started messaging girls on Tinder, will roll over three or four openers and see which one are the most effective.

Twice in public I saw a girl I wanted to talk to and didn't have the balls to approach her. I need to get back to social events and social mode, and flex the social muscles.

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 Post subject: Re: The Sharpest Edge
PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 9:19 pm 
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Few nights with Hazel, I cut Iris and Fiona loose. That apart three things.

One night out with the guys. I started warming up, but not as much as I should have (AA prevented me from that). In the three venues I opened two sets, didn't pass hook point. My best wing suggested I come up with a few canned openers to use on the first few sets, seems like a sensible idea, I'll be thinking about it and make a quick cheat sheet.

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One of my students, Joy, is this tall thin hot blonde who used to do modelling right after high-school (fuck me if that doesn't sound like the script of a porn scene). We started chatting during one of my drop-in hours, I was very nervous, hard time controlling my voice and holding eye contact. She's coming in regularly so next time I'll make sure to grow some balls and get used to talking to her and looking her right in the eyes. Great exercise God sent me here. I'm also thinking about doing some accidental light kino (say, taking the pen out of her hands to write some explanation), but nothing that won't have plausible deniability. I won't get my ass burnt by accusations of harassment. If she reciprocates interest I'll wait until I'm done with that class (one month from now) and push it further.

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Finally started Tinder. Matching lots of hot girls so my picture game is tight. Used a few different openers, from complimenting on the girl's smile to crazy stuff ("I'm gonna hijack a car and rob a bank, you want in?") to simple opinion openers. Overall ratio of reply is 1/3rd regardless of the opener. Now gotta work on bringing the #close quickly and set up the meeting (will try either at a nearby bar, or at my place, and see what works).

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Things I'm gonna work on from now on: Tinder, staying clear off porn (managed to hold for two weeks, then had a relapse), talking to just about everybody who comes up, and approaching girls on campus.

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