Short story to tell about one night last week.
Went out with two friends (one guy one girl) from the uni for pizza and drinks. Once we finish the pizza the guy friend starts checking his phone and tells us he needs to head back home to Skype his gf. I'm left with the girl (call her Cassy), we end up in a quiet bar, we talk.
I start thinking that I want to make a move but anxiety is anchoring me. I try to calm myself, counting the IOIs: she's laughing at my jokes, she's compliant, following my lead wherever we go, and she starts telling me about how she broke up with her bf last month. I force myself to start kinoing her, touching her shoulder, touching her hair. She lets me do. After I've brushed her hair off her forehead twice I decide that the light is green for a kiss, I go and we make out.
I know that she's living nearby so I gather my courage and tell her "let's go," she asks me where, I reply "to your place." She tells me, almost excusing herself, that I shouldn't expect sex tonight, I say no problem. We end up in her bed, we make out, we talk. I tell her that I'm promiscuous, she says she has no issue with it.
Lessons to retain:
- Start the kino as soon as possible, because it really gets awkward when you start it in the middle of the night.
- Count and trust the IOIs.
- Take the lead. I hesitated a few seconds as for how to phrase the bounce from bar to bed, in my "nice guy" nature I wanted to say "shall we go?" or "what about moving to a quieter place?", then I remembered Ryan Gosling's line in Crazy Stupid Love: "let's get out of here." Never ask, always take the lead.
- Make sure to unashamedly state your philosophy on the first night. Nobody's gonna put their name on my penis, and if you're not happy with that, too bad and let's just be friends.
That apart these days I'm getting back to social mode, going to events and practicing being at ease with talking to anybody. I will go out at least once this week alone just to make approaches, and a couple of other times to practice my social muscles (especially eye contact, posture and presence).
Going to the gym thrice a week, started taking whey proteins two weeks earlier, and the results are there. Got the sound body, now need the smooth mind.
Will find some time to start Tinder and OkCupid this week too.