May have messed up something really great - Need Help!!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:12 am 
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Posts: 5
omm0910 wrote:
I'm actually friends with Manzen IRL and he called me on it. Hopefully he'll be back here soon but just to keep the thread alive, yesterday he...

1. emailed her to invite her over for dinner
(no reply for 2 hours)
2. texted her
(no reply for 2 hours)
3. texted her again
(no reply for 2 hours)
4. texted her apologizing
(no reply, but whatever system he was using he knows she read the text)


Final Update

So, OP was up late Tuesday night because he couldn't sleep from thinking about her. Above post was from Wednesday night. He called me up in tears. Related the above about messages that got no reply. He was certain "she's found someone else now! all because I didn't kiss her that one night 2 weeks ago!" FWIW I talked him down from this since there's no specific evidence of it.

Anyway here's the kicker. On Thursday morning we talked again. "Hey man, everything is fine now, I'm okay, nothing to see here, move along." I don't have the exact words, but apparently after the above texts she at last had some communication with him along the lines of "I do really like you but I'm just not ready yet." So OP was like, "Ah, you see, I was right all along, she's just not ready yet!". And as we can see, he hasn't showed back up in this thread, or talked to me since then.

I have a few reactions to this, first of all I regret feeling sorry for OP or getting involved. At the very least, I feel the diagnosis of oneitis is valid, he's relapsed, and that its a disease with a poor prognosis. Further, OP needs to admit to at least, several deep lapses in practicing "solid game".

But hey what do I know. Maybe at the end of all this he can give us a book on a new sector of game that hasn't been properly covered. "Finding your soulmate through oneitis, declaring your undying love, clingy text messages, and losing sleep".

So yeah, I don't know how to give advice to a blue pill guy. Because their ego is so bound up in both their native behavior patterns, and a oneitis that keeps them going with the hope that she will come through for him. And its hard to handle their constant stream of mealy mouthed rationalizations and straw man arguments. We only dispense red pills here.

A little knowledge, a halfway measure, can be a dangerous thing. Its like "Hey thanks for that one surfing lesson bro. You know, I read a lot of Tony Robbins, and I'm feeling really confident, so I'm surfing Mavericks today. Surely you can't disagree that You only live once…

And what would we advise. 1. don't get in this situation to begin with. 2. in my experience "I do like you" means "as a friend" 3. "I'm not ready yet" means "for you, ever… but you'll know when I'm ready when you find a brother balls deep in me doggy style". But I'm left where, like, what more can I say that doesn't bust his bubble, or feel like I'm pissing on his campfire, or that he'll say that my negative vibe jinxed him. Its like some twisted sister of passive aggressive.

I've met her, she seems nice enough, and she's cute with a bangin' bod, smart, independent. Not sure how much of an attention whore she could be. Still there are other big factors here that I'm not sure how to gauge. What exactly led to her recent divorce? Or the OP's for that matter? I think she's like an ABC or ABK, maybe that factors in. Also in terms of foundations, OP is 1. suppose to vacate his shared room in a week 2. unemployed 3. broken old car 4. nearly broke. This will likely all change for the better soon, but I just feel he has quite a lot on the line already, to put his chips all in on this girl, and that its quite possible he's using his love fantasy as an way to avoid these other issues. I get it, she's hot, your ego will feel great if you have a hot girl on your arm, she seems rare, you only live once, shame on me for being a buzz kill for him going for it with his soulmate… go for it braddah but are you prepared for the consequences if you lose, and when you were crying over the phone forgive me for thinking you're not. Isn't there a more solid overall system for your life with less risk and greater abundance.

_________________
You may not know why you are beating your wife.
But she knows why!
-Arab Saying


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:48 pm
Posts: 5
omm0910 wrote:
I'm actually friends with Manzen IRL and he called me on it. Hopefully he'll be back here soon but just to keep the thread alive, yesterday he...

1. emailed her to invite her over for dinner
(no reply for 2 hours)
2. texted her
(no reply for 2 hours)
3. texted her again
(no reply for 2 hours)
4. texted her apologizing
(no reply, but whatever system he was using he knows she read the text)


Final Update

So, OP was up late Tuesday night because he couldn't sleep from thinking about her. Above post was from Wednesday night. He called me up in tears. Related the above about messages that got no reply. He was certain "she's found someone else now! all because I didn't kiss her that one night 2 weeks ago!" FWIW I talked him down from this since there's no specific evidence of it.

Anyway here's the kicker. On Thursday morning we talked again. "Hey man, everything is fine now, I'm okay, nothing to see here, move along." I don't have the exact words, but apparently after the above texts she at last had some communication with him along the lines of "I do really like you but I'm just not ready yet." So OP was like, "Ah, you see, I was right all along, she's just not ready yet!". And as we can see, he hasn't showed back up in this thread, or talked to me since then.

I have a few reactions to this, first of all I regret feeling sorry for OP or getting involved. At the very least, I feel the diagnosis of oneitis is valid, he's relapsed, and that its a disease with a poor prognosis. Further, OP needs to admit to at least, several deep lapses in practicing "solid game".

But hey what do I know. Maybe at the end of all this he can give us a book on a new sector of game that hasn't been properly covered. "Finding your soulmate through oneitis, declaring your undying love, clingy text messages, and losing sleep".

So yeah, I don't know how to give advice to a blue pill guy. Because their ego is so bound up in both their native behavior patterns, and a oneitis that keeps them going with the hope that she will come through for him. And its hard to handle their constant stream of mealy mouthed rationalizations and straw man arguments. We only dispense red pills here in the Hard Truth Cafe. And maybe just maybe she's trying to "let him down gently". (... and hey this only proves what a sweet quality girl she is, that's why I love her so dearly forever and...)

A little knowledge, a halfway measure, can be a dangerous thing. Its like "Hey thanks for that one surfing lesson bro. You know, I read a lot of Tony Robbins, and I'm feeling really confident, so I'm surfing Mavericks today. Surely you can't disagree that You only live once…

And what would we advise. 1. don't get in this situation to begin with. 2. in my experience "I do like you" means "as a friend" 3. "I'm not ready yet" means "for you, ever… but you'll know when I'm ready when you find a brother balls deep in me doggy style". But I'm left where, like, what more can I say that doesn't bust his bubble, or feel like I'm pissing on his campfire, or that he'll say that my negative vibe jinxed him. Its like some twisted sister of passive aggressive. Or that I'm "slapping a label on him" when he "wants to live with passion".

I've met her, she seems nice enough, and she's cute with a bangin' bod, smart, independent. Not sure how much of an attention whore she could be. Still there are other big factors here that I'm not sure how to gauge. What exactly led to her recent divorce? Or the OP's for that matter? I think she's like an ABC or ABK, maybe that factors in. Also in terms of foundations, OP is 1. suppose to vacate his shared room in a week 2. unemployed 3. broken old car 4. nearly broke. This will likely all change for the better soon, but I just feel he has quite a lot on the line already, to put his chips all in on this girl, and that its quite possible he's using his love fantasy as an way to avoid these other issues. I get it, she's hot, your ego will feel great if you have a hot girl on your arm, she seems rare, you only live once, shame on me for being a buzz kill for him going for it with his soulmate… go for it braddah but are you prepared for the consequences if you lose, and when you were crying over the phone forgive me for thinking you're not. Isn't there a more solid overall system for your life with less risk and greater abundance.

A few more points about this case study. First game is not just about 1. how to get her. Its also about 2. how to keep her and 3. how to dump her. And I feel that clingy, desperate behavior, and breaking the frame of being a man, are bad not only for (1.) but also for (2.). [might be a clever way for (3.) though]. I just don't see an alternative universe where women say "Oh, it was so brave of you to confess your undying love, let's make love now and forever." Lastly, OP misused texting. Texting is only for getting to her in person. He wimped out by using text in the situation above, it worsened the situation, and he knew well when and how to track her down and ask her out in person if he just waited a day or two. But hey, I wouldn't want to slap a label of oneitis on him...

_________________
You may not know why you are beating your wife.
But she knows why!
-Arab Saying


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 3:54 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:48 pm
Posts: 5
I see the OP has vanished, and nobody else has much to add. Roosh has said, in situations like these where he gets long detailed impassioned questions, its almost always irretrievably lost. The guy is clearly way overinvested relative to the girl's investment.

_________________
You may not know why you are beating your wife.
But she knows why!
-Arab Saying


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