Kicking Ass and Taking Names in NYC


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 7:34 pm 
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Hey Gents,

I've been going out five nights a week for 10 months now. There's been plenty of emotional pain, lots of elation, some bathroom fucking, some getting kicked out of and banned from the club, some street sets, some subway sets, some Australian, Israeli, Korean, New Zealandish, British, and American girls. There used to be a fair bit of drunken debauchery although I've quit drinking since January 1st of this glorious year. Pickup is starting to get very rewarding and I'm fucking excited to see how far this really goes.

I write detailed (aka absurdly long) field reports every night I go out. I think they've really helped me to improve and identify some of my major sticking points. The whole backlog of reports, from the very first one where I thought two approaches was a big fucking deal haha :shock: is posted on my blog. Or you can just read about the times I've pulled.

I'm starting this thread and I'll be posting regularly on this forum from now on. Comments would be cool, or just read the reports and be a stalker :roll:

I'll start with tonight's (totally unglamorous) report, but things will get crazier in the coming weeks. I'm in this for the long haul. Let's do it.

Hearing Loss in Williamsburg

Let's broad-stroke it. Last night I went to the club and opened maybe 8 different sets. I was there for about two hours then I went home. Fuck that club. Friday night and the place was mostly empty. That wouldn't have even been such a big deal if it wasn't for the sound system. Obviously night clubs are loud, you deal with it. But this place was too fucking loud, I couldn't hear girls when they were almost shouting in my ear. Loudest club I've ever been to, lousy crowd on a Friday, I won't be back for a long time.

Cool.

Now that I've bitched about that and made myself sound like a person who takes zero responsibility for their own life and blames everyone and everything else, let's look at some interesting aspects of the night.

1. State crash. The last few days I've been experiencing this marvelous state at the club. It's fucking fantastic but it's fragile, like a fat person's self esteem. So last night I was about four sets deep, having a great time, feeling awesome. I was talking to this British lady and it was going great. She was there to see the DJ and said:

"You have to dance with me at the front of the club!"

Bam, take action. I grab her hand, say "Ok cool! Let's go there." And start leading towards the front. She doesn't move her feet. She says "Not right now..." I feel silly and my awesome mood collapses like the dreams of so many failed actors. I go on to have an enjoyable night but I never get that really awesome mood back. I don't let that stop me, I'll still open and do the work. But given the fucking choice I really, really would prefer to act in a way that allows me to keep my good state, especially since I game sober and I'm just as likely to be out solo as I am to have a wingman.

What I see state coming down to is acting through my own intentions and not seeking a reaction from the girl. I base my feel good feelings on how I act, not how the girl responds. Takes time to develop, I've got time..

2. Leading a cute blonde girl. One of the first girls I saw in the club was this skinny blonde chick who instantly gave me a boner. But she was dancing all out with some hipster dude so I didn't go in. Twenty minutes later I saddle up next to her at the bar, say:

"You're not allowed to lean on the bar here.. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

That goes over fine and we talk for a second, then I lead her to the dance floor where I promptly fuck up all attempts at physical escalation. It was embarrassing (from my point of view) how poorly it all went. Tried spinning her, tried to get her in close, tried clawing her, it all sort of fell flat. Next time I wouldn't mess with the dance floor. Instead, I would pull her, back myself up against a wall, pull her in. I'm leaning against the wall feeling solid, it's easier to make solid eye contact because I'm not worried about people running into me. That being said, I give myself props for leading her and doing my best to make something happen, even if my best wasn't good enough.

3. Shitty eye contact. I noticed that my eye contact was supremely sub-part last night. I was not doing a good job of holding it and creating sexual tension. It's funny, on this glorious nightwhere I pulled the most attractive girl yet, I was keenly aware of how amazing my eye contact was. I have to keep this in mind going forward. The fundamentals. Witty openers, seeding the pull, polarizing words, all this great stuff isn't worth a Cambodian hooker if I don't have the eye contact.

4. I did a solid job of opening more than normal. After 90 minutes in the club I was feeling knocked out a bit and my wingman had bailed for entirely invalid reasons. I was feeling ehhh and this is the point where I almost always go home. Instead I opened two more sets. I know, not really such a big deal. But it was a big deal in a sense because once I reach this point of the night I almost always go home, or I stay a while longer but I don't open. But last night I didn't... I did something totally new and better... Game is built on 1% improvements over time and last night was a great example of that.

5. Lack of belief. It's been almost exactly a month since I last pulled. The worst part of this isn't even the lack of sex, it's that my brain starts to think I'll never pull again and all the other pulls were completely flukes and I should give up and go become an alcoholic short stories writer in Key Largo. Tempting, but I think I'll keep going. I just tell myself that the results will come when I've earned them, pulling is not a fluke, but at my level of skill the stars do need to align before it happens. Also, there's about an 80% chance I could have pulled this Asian girl on Thursday if I just lowered my standards a bit. So I can pull, I'm just choosing to hold out for better women. That means developing better game and that means going out more. At it...

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:38 pm 
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I'll kick this report off with the following.. Last night I was talking to a girl who looked an awful lot like Anne Hathaway, so I told her so. She gave me a look of pure disgust, backed away from me and said:

"Fuck you. Do you know anyone who likes being told they look like someone else?"

She was pretty pissed. I worked through it because I'm fucking awesome, but in any normal interaction I'm not going to ever say a girl looks like someone else again. Nothing to gain, plenty to lose. The only time I would use it is if I'm trying to provoke a certain reaction or I plain don't like a girl.

"You know, you kind of remind me of my best friend's retarded cousin. She weighs 300lbs and they keep her locked in a basement, for society's sake."

I would actually probably never say this because I'm not really a mean person, but it is sort of funny. Kind of like the time when I made fun of my ex-girlfriend for losing her gym bag with all her shoes in it. That went over about as well as a holocaust joke at temple, do not recommend. Anyways...

Went out solo last night to some tiny hipster house music everyone wearing black and drinking Tecates club. I'm into house music so I was digging it, even if there were limited sets. It's a shame that the clubs that I genuinely enjoy usually have limited girls and the clubs that I consider dog shit have dozens. That's one reason I liked Berlin so much. Clubs I liked & girls, it was heaven.

So I get inside and open the first girl I see. Nothing, she's boring. Maybe two other sets in the whole venue but it's early. I decide to just dance for a while until it fills up. I do this for ten minutes till a girl walks right in front of me and I stop her. When I'm in the club my frame of mind is basically this: every single girl who walks close to me is trying to get my attention. Every single girl who bumps into me wants me to open her. I'm glorious. So I grab this girl and start screening her. She finds my insanity charming and asks what drugs I'm on. I get this a couple of times a week. I suspect that from a girl's perspective, when a confident, outgoing and funny guy opens her, 90% of the time he's either had a few drinks or on some drugs. I tell her I'm sober, she doesn't believe me. I talk about how guys today are not confident and are socially awkward but once in a while there is an exception..

I move her off the dance floor and we end up making out. I'm able to do it because of this vibe I'm holding. I'm not pinging off the girl for a reaction. I'll say something and then think it's awesome, I won't wait to see whether she thinks it's awesome too. This is crucial and it's only something I'd say I've developed in the last two weeks. Before this, a majority of my interactions were me feeling good when the girl would laugh. That's a fine place to start, but it's not optimal. Reaching an advanced level (which I'm striving for, I'm by no means there now) means loving everything I say and not giving a fuck what the girl thinks.

Her friends pull her away. I dance to house music and think about the girls walking past me and how badly they just want me to open them. I don't. Fuck them, I'm dancing. My girl comes back, I reopen then pull her to the back of the club. Making out, it's getting hotter, she's horny. My brain comes up with the following..

"Yeah, I love living in Williamsburg. It's so fucking cool. We've got a pizza place, a bagel place, and a bunch of hipsters. We also have a bodega. The only bodega in New York. I need gum. Let's go get some gum."

I kind of condensed a three minute build up into a few sentences but that was the gist of it. Pulling her out of the club to get gum except that as soon as we get out I'm going to "remember" that I have gum in my room and we don't have to go to the bodega after all. We can go get fresh breath in my room haha. She responds with:

"What if I told you that there's zero percent chance that I'm leaving with you? I have a bunch of girls from New Jersey sleeping in my apartment tonight and I can't leave."

Logical bullshit, bahh. I spend the next ten minutes pushing very hard for the pull. I do everything conceivable to overcome these logistics, including telling her we'll be right back. No go. This is a logistical problem that cannot be overcome. Eventually I shift gears and start planning a date. One thing that I did really fucking well here is:

A. Figured out right there and then when she's free (next Friday)
B. Figured out what she wanted to do. I suggested a club, she said no, and instead suggested watching the sunset on the river eating ice cream. I love all these things so I agreed.

This was smart, setting up the date in person. Also asking her what she wants to do makes it way more likely she'll come out because it's something she wants to do, not something I suggested. Can't believe I've never really done this before. In most of my future sets, when setting up a date, I'm going to ask what she likes. Obviously there are some occasions when I'm the fucking man, I decide, I make plans. But other times if we can find something we both like a lot that's pretty cool too.

Notes

*My #1 focus last night was holding my frame. Every time I was about to start thinking or doubting myself I would cut it off and instead say:

I'm fucking awesome.

This was big and it allowed me to have a great night. Can't wait to continue working on this and see what kind of results I'm getting in six months with it.

*In simple situations (no horrible logistics, no vengeful friends trying to fuck things up) I have all the technical knowledge I need to make the pull happen. I can recognize the moment to pull her out of the club, I know where to go, I know how to pull to the pizza place then my home, I know how to handle objections. This all comes fairly natural to me when I'm dealing with:

A. Girls who are not super attractive to me so I don't really care
B. Attractive girls who are very into me so they're making it easy

However, where I totally crash and burn is with:

C. Attractive girls who are not making it easy, they're just being normal

I care too much and I fuck it up in all sorts of ways. With that in mind, I get the feeling that reaching the next level will not require more technical knowledge, it will require giving less fucks and being able to be awesome with more attractive females. To that end I don't think there's anything I need to learn or study. I just need to keep going out, keep approaching good looking girls, and continually remind myself to not give a fuck about the outcome.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 6:11 pm 
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Hit up one of the ubiquitous house music clubs in Williamsburg last night. When I walked in the crowd was maximum funky and I thought it was gay night. Shittttt I'm not going to find any sets I thought. But it turned out alright. It wasn't gay night, it was just the DJ's birthday and he had attracted an eclectic bunch of people. The party actually turned out to be awesome. He spun vinyl the whole night, the crowd was dancing, it was a great show. These parties are so much fun and yet the girls are not good. Compared to bottle service clubs where people often seem to be having no fun but the girls are great.

I talked to a German lady for a while. We discussed the finer points of Berghain, the legendary Berlin night club that I got rejected from 8 or 10 times and felt way, way more horrible about than any rejection from any girl ever. Then I said a few words to another lady. Then I danced for half an hour until I saw a tall, skinny, attractive blonde woman come in. She was with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's boyfriend. I opened it, why the fuck not What is game if not doing awesome shit that would make the average homo sapien's heart rate skyrocket.

My open was loud, direct, unafraid. It was very good, I got her to start talking to me. But I started asking too many questions and and got blown out. Shame, but lesson learned. Even if I feel nervous I can still make a very conscious point to make statements and express myself, don't slip into the trap of asking loads of questions.

That was it, I left after that. It was a casual, relaxed Sunday. Just a few sets to keep the social vibes flowing. Tonight I'll do a few more sets in LES then Tuesday the real work begins when the week begins in earnest. I've decided to do a full thirty day challenge for April. Going out every night, no exception. Should be awesome, should be glorious. Here's to progress!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 6:33 am 
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Interesting Monday night in LES. I actually feel like I did a lot of things very well, no glaring errors. That being said I didn't pull so obviously some things to learn. Let's look at it.

Met up with my wingman at an infamous NYC bar but there were no sets. We were leaving just as two girls were about to walk in. This is where game shines, it teaches you to react quickly because situations are always changing. The one girl is already about to hand her ID to the bouncer, the other girl is behind her. I reach out and open the girl closer to me, I don't even remember what I said. I had no plan. I just knew I had to get them talking and get the pulled away from the bouncers. It works. I hold a fun frame, we introduce ourselves, and after 45 seconds I say:

"It sucks in there, we just left. Let's go to a club right down the street, my friend has a table."

I met this guy with the table last November and I have no idea if he's still hosting but it's worth a shot. We walk over, get upstairs and I see my promoter friend so we're good. The vibe is awkward for a second and I can feel it but I don't let it become a thing, I hold the frame of I'm awesome and we're all having fun. I get my girl a drink and after a bit of talking we start making out. She's into me, her friend is into my wingman, she doesn't have to work tomorrow, she lives in Brooklyn (notice, find out what a girl's logistics are! If you don't know where a girl lives and if she has work in the morning within 5 minutes of meeting her you've fucked up) and everything is looking good. I seed the pull by talking about the pizza place in Williamsburg. Then chat, chat chat, makeout, makeout, and I say:

"Let's get out of here. Let's go grab some pizza."

No. She won't do it. Chat, chat, chat, makeout, makeout, I try again. No, she won't do it. Move her away from the table and over to the bar. Amp up the energy, make the vibe super fun, employ my most sultry voice. Chat, chat, chat, makeout, makeout, go for the pull. Again, no. She won't do it. Then my wingman comes over with his girl, says we should all go to a different bar. So we do. When we get there it's empty, so I say to my girl:

"This place sucks. Come on, let's go grab some pizza."

No. So we leave, go out on the sidewalk. I try to stop my girl and flag a taxi down, she refuses. She's getting more logical. By now it's pretty obvious this isn't happening. I've gone for the pull half a dozen times and there's now way. We end up talking a bit more and I find out she's never done a one night stand in her life. I ask her if she wants to change that, say this is a great opportunity. She says no way. I admit defeat, leave the set, go back to the bar.

Open a girl with pink hair. She's giving me zero signals that she wants me there but I plow so fucking hard because I'm in a great mood and why not. She's giving me nothing. I run out of things to say so I improvise.

"Oh my god. This gum I'm chewing is so fucking good. It's the green Orbit, it's my favorite flavor in the world. I'm such an awesome person, I'm so cool. Just me standing here is amazing. Look at my hair. Oh my god I'm so happy that this bar has mirrors so that I can look at my hair."

It's fucking ridiculous but it's funny as shit. This girl is saying all sorts of obviously illogical and obviously stupid things to me like:

"Who the fuck are you!?" and "I don't give a shit" and "Well aren't you fucking special" and "Get the fuck out of here"

I don't care. I ignore her, keep smiling, keep thinking I'm awesome, keep plowing and plowing until I get physically forced to leave by her girlfriend (they made out in front of me. Whenever two girls say they're together I always tell them to prove it by kissing) who pushes me away to the point where people were looking. It was awesome. I wanted to find another set immediately but the bar was dead. It had started raining, everything was lame, I went home feeling fantastic.

Notes

*As far as I know you can't really screen to see if a girl does one night stands. It's not like you can just come out and ask it (or can you?). In terms of how the set was going this girl was acting just like other girls I've pulled so I didn't know. What I'm saying is I don't exactly feel like I wasted an hour with this girl because we had fun, but I wish I had left sooner. On the other hand, I also believe in persistence and not leaving too early in case you can make it happen in the end. So I'm really not sure what the right move was here. Did I do the right thing sticking in so long and losing other potential sets? Should I have left after half an hour after I had already tried to pull four times and gotten nowhere? It's an interesting question to reflect on. I certainly don't think I fucked up because I took lots of action, but I think I could have spent a bit less time figuring out the girl simply was not going to get pulled.

*New York nightlife is disappointing as fuck. I know that there's a hot party every night at one of the top clubs, but really is that it? Is there seriously only one good party in all of NYC on a Monday? At 1am I could only find a single set to open and she turned out to be a lesbian who was incapable of recognizing how awesome I am. I want to move to Las Vegas where I can open to my heart's content.

*I did a good job seeding the pull but I could have been a bit smoother. I suppose it will come in time though. I only "discovered" the idea of seeding the pull a little while ago (I talk about it about in this report from a few weeks ago) and I'm still figuring out how and when to use it most effectively.

*Girl I met on Saturday agreed to a date this Friday. Will she flake on me? Who the fuck knows. My text game is nothing spectacular. It would be cool if it happens though because our date is set up for earlier in the evening so when it goes well and I close I'll still have time to go out later and go for two closes in one night :D

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 6:48 am 
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It's interesting how standards change over time. Tonight I failed to makeout with anyone and so I consider it not such a good night. Even though I had fun with my wingman, talked to eight or ten girls, got the number of an attractive woman, that's become normal. I need a makeout or two to consider it a good night. In six months or a year it may reach the point where I don't feel it's a good night unless I pull. After that it might not be a good night unless I pull a stunner. Then not a good night unless I pull a threesome. The rabbit hole has no bottom, but that's OK. I'd like to start off this report by giving a detailed explanation of a situation and seeing if anyone has thoughts on how to handle it. Me and my wingman didn't know the answer.

Scene: we're with a two set in a basement lounge. My girl isn't really into me. I haven't burned it down, it's whatever, but nothing is going to happen. On the other hand it's going great for my wingman. His girl is horny, she's playing with his dick on the dance floor and they're making out. She's down for an adventure. However, problems arise. This lounge is tiny and a bathroom pull is not possible. We could go to another bar but leading there is hard because my girl isn't into me and so it's difficult to pull off. My wingman's girl won't leave outright with him because she's with the friend and they're both from New Jersey and so they have a strong incentive to go home together.

What's the right move here for my wingman?

We were stumped. After a while we just said that logistics got the best of us, my wingman set up a date and we left. But that's not ideal. Getting this girl out again will be a challenge and the same night lay would have been ideal. Any thoughts?

I opened sets all night but nothing was fully clicking. I was a little bit off. Especially compared to the awesome vibe I had last Thursday when I was crushing it. I don't even remember if I made out with any girls that night but I was just in this great zone. Back to tonight, in the set I mentioned above with my wingman, in retrospect I can see that I missed the opportunity for the makeout with my girl. It was there at about four minutes deep. The puppy eyes, the solid eye contact, everything. I didn't realize it until it was too late though. The window had passed. What's really interesting though is that I noticed it at all. That's a sign of my game getting better. I never would have seen that even a few weeks ago.

Another girl at the second bar of the night was giving me puppy eyes but I couldn't make it happen. I think one reason is that my physicality was too hit or miss. Like I would go in for the claw and hold it just to the point where it was sexual then back off. And touch her but just do it for a second then back off before it got serious. I notice that in general I do this too much. Let's call it pecking physicality, instead of dominant physicality. I have to work on this, especially when I'm feeling off. I don't have to be in state to just hold physicality. Just become aware that I'm doing pecking physicality, and stop doing it..

That being said, I think that in some situations I'm being 400% too physical. I think that in terms of getting the pull I would be much better served by being more indirect and using my verbal game and seeding the pull to get the girl out of the bar. Shit, I might not even kiss her till she's back in my room. That's fine, it doesn't matter. I don't have to be making out with a girl to pull her, that's a limiting belief.

Notes

*Even when it's not fun, this shit is so much fun. I'm so glad I've stuck it out this long, it's so much more rewarding to play at this level. I'm no longer exerting massive willpower to force myself to approach that three set. Instead I'm thinking about how to best approach it and which girl to go after. I'm not having my emotional reality dictated by every action of the girl, I'm feeling good no matter what. And loads of other stuff. The first nine months were a bit of a bitch but things are quickly changing..

*As best I can count my wingman madeout with three girls last night. Motherfucker, that's a big notch I want to cross off my list that I've not been able to do yet.

*Subway approaches. I haven't done another once since a week ago even though I think I saw thirty attractive women on my way to work today. Something has to change.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 6:44 pm 
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Last night I really, really did not want to go out. In my first months of going out that feeling was caused by fear and anxiety. Thankfully that's gone away but last night was something worse. Apathy. I didn't care about getting laid, meeting a cool girl, having fun, or doing anything to make myself a better person. All I wanted to do was go home after work (I get out at 10:30) and watch Rick and Morty reruns. God that would be cool. Fuck it, why not! Let me just stop by the club real quick first, just to make sure it still exists..

Usual Wednesday spot, doorman lets me right in. Upstairs I see my friend and she invites me to the table of the guy who's hosting the party. I could get free drinks all night and have a grand time if that's what I'm into. But I'm not. Even though sometimes drinking would help me enjoy the night quite a bit more I feel 300% better being sober.

I go to the dance floor and see this very attractive blonde girl dancing by herself. She's the cutest girl in the club as far as I'm concerned. I go talk to her. She's Ukrainian, I speak some Russian to her. She smiles and we talk a bit. I don't push it anywhere though, I just let it fade out. She walks away. I make repeated eye contact with the second cutest girl on the dance floor. I walk up and introduce myself. She's Brazilian (how hard is it to meet an American chick in NYC?). Again, it goes pretty well but I don't push it. She dances off to some other spot. A few minutes later I'm standing away from the dance floor when a cute girl walks by. I open her without thinking, it's like a reflex, like when you're playing a video game and you blast some motherfucker before you even realize you've seen him. This girl is very receptive and nice, an enjoyable human being. We joke a bit then I just stop talking and let her go.

All three girls I've opened have been attractive, receptive, and fun. All three of them I've put zero effort into and tried nothing. I'm not sure if I need someone to slap my face and tell me to man up, or if I should take a few days off to compose myself. I think taking a few days off would be awesome and that I would come back with a totally different attitude. I would be my normal self who pushes sets to the fucking limit and goes for the win. But I've committed myself to a 30 day challenge and it's only 6 days into the month. My feeling is that long term it's more important for me to keep my commitment to myself and go out every night versus take a break and come back refreshed. Even if it causes me to lose some sets to apathy in the coming nights, I think the discipline of sticking to my word cannot be underrated.

Tonight I have about zero fucking desire to go talk to girls. Tonight I will go talk to girls. Maybe one of my wingmen will hit me up, otherwise I'll hit up some hipster joint in Williamsburg. Hell, maybe something will click and I'll end up getting back into my normal kick ass state.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 7:12 pm 
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Keep it up!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:30 pm 
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I have a new idea about leading. I'm 100% sure that my current thinking is wrong. Right now I make out leading to be this big event that I have to plan ahead and justify with good reasons and all this bullshit. As a result I don't do it enough. I sometimes let sets fade and die because I'm too nervous to lead, even though leading would probably solve a great deal of my problems. So I have this idea. From the beginning of the set I can start "micro-leading" and then build it up from there. Example.

I open a girl and introduce myself. Within thirty seconds I move her two feet over so that less people will bump us, or because the lights better, or who gives a fuck, it doesn't matter. What's important is that I break that initial leading barrier right there and start the interaction off with the idea that I'm the leader. Then a few minutes later I move her ten feet away. Then to a secluded area to makeout. And so on. Instead of making leading this big deal that I only do once or twice in the set, I break it up into a whole bunch of small chunks so that when I go for the pull it's my 11th time leading and it's natural for her to say yes. I'm bringing this up because of a set from last night. I'm proud of what I did but I also could have done better.

Me and my wingman walk into the bar and I immediately open a three set. I hook onto my girl and after five minutes, on an emotional high point, I pull her away from the group towards the wall. She follows me but then asks why I pulled her over there.

"Because I like dark spaces" I reply.

Yeah, not a good line, sounds creepy. We ended up talking for another ten minutes but it went nowhere. I noticed that my girl kept looking at her friend. I also noticed that she gave me makeout eyes but the window was very narrow. The neurons in my brain still don't fire fast enough on that. It takes me a while to see it, register it, think of a response, and by the time all this goes on I'm stuck in my head and it doesn't go smooth. Regardless, I'm very happy with the way I isolated my girl on an emotional high point, that was great. However, what I could have done better is lead more. There's an inside area of the bar and I could have led her there, told her I wanted to see if my friend is bartending. This would have been a secluded area to makeout in.

I end up getting this girl's number but I'll never see her again. Not a strong enough connection. I leave that bar, go to the club. I see a couple of guys I know, we chat a bit. I stay there for an hour and open everything in that club worth opening. I talk to a German girl for fifteen minutes but it stalls out because I failed to lead. I don't know why I'm nervous to lead when it's the thing that will help me to salvage a lot of sets. I have to train my brain to do this AB process:

A - There's an emotional high in the interaction right now
B - Lead her somewhere, anywhere

As I get better at doing this I expect my interactions to go much better and to have more success. It will also help me to determine who is down for a ONS and who isn't. The quicker that you can find that out the quicker you can move on to a different set, or go for the pull.

Notes

*I mentioned in my last report that I feel apathy towards pickup at the moment. I think this is wrong. I think that it's totally the opposite. I think that I care so much that it's painful and I repress it by telling myself I don't care. I'm sick of losing girls that I find fun and attractive. I'm sick of getting to know girls and then they leave because my game isn't good enough. It hurts man.

Right now what I want more than just about anything is for a cute girl to like me and want to be in my life, and yet on a logical level I know that by wanting it I'll never get it. I'll only get it when I don't need it. Learning game at this stage is a major mindfuck for me and I'm sorting through some difficult and murky emotions. I used to handle this by drinking beer, but now that I'm sober I have no outlet. Much healthier in the long run, but it forces me to stay with these emotions and they're starting to get pretty epic.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2017 7:41 am 
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The thing about making progress is that it happens so gradually that sometimes it doesn't feel like progress at all. That's game for you. It's an infinite series of 0.02% improvements. The "secret" to game is to go out and approach as many nights a week as possible. People ask what the "secret to success" is. I read a lot of books and I've found out the answer.

Hustle. Do the work.

It's that fucking simple. All the tricks, knowledge, good material, sales courses and fancy consultants mean nothing if you don't work hard. I'm not making this shit up. I've "known" that hustle is the secret to success for a while, but I just read in a book that after interviewing dozens of highly successful people, hard work was rated the number one determiner of success. That's good, because...

I hustled tonight, I put in the work. I opened twenty-five sets. We started at the usual weekend spot in Williamsburg. It was surprisingly dead. Get inside and I started opening everything. I bounced from set to set with no more than ten seconds in between. It was glorious but the results were not there. Probably too early in the night, girls still wanting to speak to friends not stranger. After opening a majority of the sets here we end up leaving to go to another bar.

Get there and start opening. Sets aren't really sticking though. It's weird, I'm in the zone, feeling good, doing great approaches but things are not going as well as I would expect. I wonder if it has something to do with my wingman? He has little game and can hardly hold a convo. I wonder how much that affects the interaction in general? I remember last Tuesday opening with my natural buddy and the vibe was electric, you could have run an air conditioner off of it. Tonight was the opposite. So I get the feeling that a wingman can have a noticeable effect, especially since girls often check to see if their friends are having fun.

Around 2am I find a cute skinny blonde girl and stay with her for twenty minutes. We vibe, she gives me makeout face, her eyes look like she's on molly her pupils are so wide. I go for the makeout but it's not smooth, it's not the right moment. I fucking know it's not the right moment but I go for it anyways because I have to go for it, I can't just ignore it. She turns her head away, I act like nothing happened and we talk for another ten minutes. I get her number, talk some more and then she leaves. A few minutes later I reopen her and in twenty seconds give her a kiss on the lips. She seems surprised and sort of runs away. Weird, didn't expect that. It puzzles me, I stop seeing the potential for good things to happen and I say to my wingman:

"I'm fucking done man, let's get out of here."

We get to the sidewalk and I have an existential crisis. After how much I've fucking bitched about NYC sucking on weeknights and not being able to find sets, I can't leave now when there are still girls to open. We go back inside. I want to reopen my blonde girl when I find her. I tried for the pull earlier and she wasn't down. However, I thought maybe one more try and she would leave with me? But I bitched out of reopening because she was with some flannel shirt motherfucker. Damn.

Instead, I go around and open another three or four sets instead. Then blonde girl's friend approaches and we talk. I see blonde girl again but fail to approach. I'm scared. I feel like I don't have a lot to offer and way she ran off after I kissed her doesn't inspire me with confidence. I end up not opening her again and I'll regret it for days. Fuck, I needed that reference experience.

Notes

*It feels like it's harder to get better at this stage. Six months ago opening 25 sets and staying out for 3 hours would have been massive progress. Now, I learned some things and it was a very solid night, I pushed myself hard right up until the very end (when I bitched out) but I don't feel like I made massive progress. Just normal progress.

*There are two things that I have to stop saying. One, don't talk about a girl's height if she's very tall. Two separate girls, both abnormally tall (like 6 feet or more) have blown me out for saying "You're very tall". They're probably super insecure about it and don't like hearing it. Never bring it up again. The other thing is I still sometimes say retarded shit like "I'm only a serial killer on Mondays" or other crap about killing people. Girl's don't think it's funny, I don't think it's funny, it's just bullshit. Stop saying it. This particular form of edginess achieves nothing and can make me look genuinely weird.

*My makeout game needs serious work. I'm going for it at the wrong moments and I'm not doing it smoothly. To be fair my ability to makeout with a girl has never been better in my life, it's a new high for me. But it fails to live up to my standards for what it should be. I have a lot of work to do here.

*I was doing some leading last night but not enough. I must be leading! In every set I should be focusing on these two things

1. Going for the makeout
2. Leading within the first few minutes

These are big and will be crucial in improving my game. I already do the makeout thing, except for girls I find exceptionally attractive. I tend to bitch out on doing it if she's very cute, so I have to amp that up. No excuses, go for it.

*The more I do this, the more I realize that "game" is drawing state from within and holding the awesome frame no matter what reaction the girl gives me. It's like I could be talking to a brick wall, or some stunning women who is telling me I'm ugly, and my mood would be exactly the same and I'd be saying the same things.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:25 pm 
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Last night was a team effort, it would have not been possible without my wingman. We both pushed each other to go farther and do more. As a result we got in four solid hours of pickup across four venues in two different neighborhoods. I made out with two girls but that's neither here nor there. The biggest fucking thing from last night:

I recovered from feeling like a chode, stayed out instead of going home, and had an awesome second half of the night.

Man it felt good, and it happened because of my wingman. At the first venue he was with a girl and it was going good. They were making out on some couches and he was talking about pulling. I was off doing my own thing and it was not going well. I was getting into my head, feeling disconnected and like I was incapable of having fun. The worst frame you can be in. I was praying that my wingman would pull so I could leave without losing face. But he didn't, instead he suggested we switch venues.

Walked over to a bar in LES that I've never been too. Inside I met Mara and we made out shortly after getting introductions out of the way. I was immediately thinking pull. She was cute and into me. I suggested getting pizza a block away and started making moves to get us out of the bar. Then I found out her friend is visiting from California and staying with her on her couch. Insurmountable logistics. I get her number, we leave.

Meet two girls on the street and we walk with them to another bar. By the end of the 10 minute walk my girl doesn't like me. In fact she just about can't stand me. Polarizing, when it works, is a powerful tool. When it doesn't work the girl really, really doesn't like you haha. Me and my wingman still make it to the bar with this group though and I open the first girl I see inside. We talk and talk, then I go for the makeout. No, she won't kiss me. I try again, and no. We talk, and then I try again. And no. But she wants to kiss me it's obvious. So I try a fourth time and when she ducks away I forcefully lift her chin up so she can't dodge me anymore and it works, we make out. When I tell her that we should get some fresh air outside she laughs at me. No way is she getting pulled, she disappears off into the night.

Me and my wingman walk around, looking for other places. We talk a lot about game. Some of the common problems we face, how long it will be till we're good, how ridiculous it is that guys quit before they get good. And so on.

Final bar of the night is a dud. It's 3am and we decide to call it a night. On the way to the subway I see two girls walking towards us on the sidewalk. As they're walking by I say:

"Hey, I have to ask you your opinion on something!"

The funny thing about this is that I have zero fucking idea what I'm going to say. Even as I'm walking up and about to open my mouth I have no idea. In game there used to be these funny things like asking about David Bowie or friends with benefits or something, but I don't know any of these. Instead I say:

"What's better, cats or dogs?"

It hits fine and we start talking. They're cool, receptive and with a bit more killer instinct we could have moved them to another bar with us. But we didn't have that clear intent and we also didn't know where the fuck we would lead them haha. I look at my wingman and say:

"There's a cool bar down the street right?"

Gesturing towards the east river. He's like "Uhhhhhh yeah I think so" which is not enough. We end up losing them. Next time though we'll get it. Clearer intent and actually knowing where the fuck we're going.

Notes

*Going out with a good wingman is massive. We work together as a team and fucking crush it. When one guy is feeling a bit out the other guy opens, and vice versa. And if both guys are crushing it then shit gets insane. I love it.

*To get the results I want I'm going to have to become something that I'm not. That has to do with game but also, more generally, it means hustling more, staying out longer, doing more sets, and doing sets even when I'm out of it.

*When I encounter an unusually attractive woman my brain shuts the fuck down. I don't get physical, I don't say witty and awesome things, I play it safe. I go logical and end up being boring as fuck. The worst part about this is that half the time the girl is fine, we're just having a conversation but I beat myself up and end up ejecting because I'm so pissed out how much of a bitch I'm being. I really want to fix this. I know I'm capable of awesome things and there's zero logical reasons I can't be awesome with a more attractive girl.

*I'm ruthless about figuring out logistics in the first minutes of the interaction. Sometimes I'm blunt and not subtle about it. It's essential though, you can't start planning a pull until you know what you're working with.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 7:44 pm 
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Safe bet that 20% of guys hook up with 80% of the women in the world. That's what I'm aiming for. Fuck that, I want to be the 20% of the 20% of guys who hook up with 80% of the women. I've got so much momentum going at this point that even if you crippled me I'd be out at the fucking club talking to women in a wheelchair. Let's hope that doesn't happen though.

Went to a club last night with a sick DJ. When someone is that good at spinning house it takes your ears hostage. I danced for a while then opened a cute girl walking past. She didn't even stop or acknowledge me. Lesson learned. Be more direct, louder, get her attention. I'm well aware of this but a reminder is always good. I end up reopening her later but she's not into me.

I open another girl and we talk for five minutes. She's cool and I'm pushing it but there's no way. As we're talking she keeps inching away from me. After five minutes we're three feet from where we started because she keeps moving away and I keep following. Finally she just leaves. I go back to dancing.

That was the night. A very casual Sunday where I achieved my main aim: keep the momentum going and the 30 day challenge alive. I've been out twelve or thirteen days in a row. Shit's getting real.

Notes

*Loud environment, lights, fog, madness? Your approach has to be strong and direct to stand a chance of working.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:31 am 
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There's one thing that I dislike more than anything else in game: when a girl, usually the friend, laughs at what I'm saying, as in I can't believe what a dork/dweeb/dope this guy, I can't believe how weird the guys who talk to you are. Or whatever. If you've gone out you know what I mean. Sure, I know I shouldn't care. Sure, I know it shouldn't matter. That's swell, I don't give a fuck. I do care and I really don't like it. Girls stand there and act silly with their vodka cranberries, I take action, approach, put myself on the line and then get laughed at. I can laugh at guys doing shitty approaches because I'm in the trenches with him, what does the girl know about this? Granted this doesn't happen much, but it happened tonight. It was the 2nd set of the night. I wasn't even in full-out dork mode, I was just too logical and asking too many questions.

The 1st set of the night, who I opened on the street, stopped me after forty-five seconds by saying:

"I'm sorry, I just really don't feel like talking right now."

The 3rd set of the night when much better. It took place at a venue that's insane on the weekend and dead on the week nights, I wasn't even sure it would be open so I was happy when I saw the bouncer outside. I got inside and immediately made eye contact with the cutest girl in the place (out of like five girls haha). I was pleasantly surprised at how little shit my brain threw at me as my legs took me over.

Her name was Liz. She was with her friend and they were both very nice. Cool girls, I would have pulled either, although Liz was cuter than her friend. The set lasted fifteen minutes but it fizzled out to nothing at the end. This is frustrating for two reasons.

1. With two beers in me I could have made this set fly. It would have been a totally different interaction. I don't think there's anything wrong with drinking two beers but I've decided to learn pickup sober, hell or high water. Hopefully I'm trading short term gains for long term winning. Or so I tell myself..
2. The set fizzled because I didn't lead. I stopped being the cause of the emotions and I ended up being at the mercy of the girls emotions. There's lots of subtleties there but what it really comes down to is failure to lead.

I'm scared to lead at the next level. That is, lead in situations where I don't usually do it. It's a difficult fear because it's very subtle. Unlike approach anxiety which is cut and dry, grab your balls and do it. The being scared to lead fear is like a riptide which you can't see but it's running shit. That's why I have to put a stake in that motherfucker and make the active commitment to lead every single set. And I should be doing it early in the set when the emotions are high! In other words the optimal time to lead is exactly when I don't think I need to lead because everything is going great. By waiting till it fizzles it becomes much harder to lead and gain that initial energy back.

Regardless, I'm pleased with myself. Got out on a Monday night and did some solo sober approaches. Got another little bit of reference experience and for that I'm glad. Tomorrow night the week begins. Looking forward to meeting up with my wingman and burning down the Tuesday spot.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:32 pm 
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There was a lot of failure last night, and from that come many lessons. I learned how to not do pickup and I'll share it here. First, a broad overview of the night. Waiting outside the bar for my wingman, I start the night by opening three different girls on the street. That was really good, maybe the high point of the night.

Inside it was fucking nuts. Packed as I've ever seen it. My wingman opened a few sets, I opened a few, it was all going good. And then something happened. Instead of continuing to open and building on my good mood, I decided to get some water. This was a huge mistake. I waited five minutes for the bartender and my momentum started to crash. In the beginning of the night it's crucial that I keep opening so that I have a great foundation. Later in the night five minutes is fine, but early in the night I can't spare it. When the bar guy finally got to me and I told him I wanted water he rolled his eyes, gave me a look like I'm a leper and ignored me. That hurt probably more than it should have. It's never happened before. My night was done from then on. I opened a few more sets but I was completely shot. The bar felt overwhelming, the crowd felt oppressive, I felt like shit.

I went and sat on a park bench two blocks away. Take a break, I told myself. Forget about what happened, get some good vibes and then go back and immediately open, you might still be able to salvage this night. I sat there for fifteen minutes then started walking back. On the sidewalk I passed my wingman who was walking with a cute girl back towards his place. That was the nail in the coffin. I was happy for him and it feels great to have a wingman who's crushing it with game, but it made me even more aware of how out of it I was. I got my backpack and went home.

Notes

*I've mentioned that a key focus for me right now is maintaining the mental frame of I'm awesome. More to point, as soon as I start to think negative while I'm out (or in life in general I suppose) I have to cut that shit off and just think: I'm awesome.

It totally and completely failed to do that last night. I let outside forces wreak havoc on my emotional state and the result was shit. I have to be ruthless about cutting off negative thinking immediately. Remember, I'm awesome. I'm doing something that very, very few guys will ever do and no matter how unattractive I feel, I've slept with more girls in the last year than plenty of guys will sleep with in their entire lives. That's something worth remembering.

*Trying to get water last night was a game-changing mistake. Up to that point almost everything was going good and it would have been easy to keep it up. But for some reason I stopped and I paid the price for it. Never again. It's crucial that I build that great momentum early because it will carry me through the whole night.

*When I'm in state and crushing it I make lots of statements. When I'm out of state and not crushing it I ask lots of questions. I have to change this. Regardless of how I'm feeling I need to be making more statements. Questions cause me to invest and they put me in a spot where I'm dependent and waiting on the girl's answer which is a shitty place to be. I can actively focus on this: no matter what make statements.

*I've noticed that when I'm crushing it one thing I do really fucking well is screen (break rapport). I walk up to girls and say things like "Who the hell are you?" or "Who said you could be in my bar?" or "I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to stand here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave". This stuff is great, it's approximately 10,000,000x better than asking "So, what do you do?"

When I'm out of state if I say breaking rapport shit it's not going to hit well and will feel incongruent, and maybe the key is to tone it down some so it's not so extreme. But I have to be throwing some breaking rapport in their somehow because currently when I'm out of it all I do is ask stupid fucking questions which totally suck.

*I care too much and I know it. I see a cute girl giving attention to a guy or putting her arm on him and I want that. I really fucking want it, and still I know that the more I want it the less likely I'll be able to get it. I know that I can change it though. Times when I've had a girlfriend in my life I didn't give a fuck. I had unlimited sex and I would see girls giving attention to guys and just think yeah, whatever. I have that too. Building abundance. It's going to take time but it will allow me to stop caring about getting a girl's approval. Meanwhile I can focus on the absolute truth that getting a girl will not solve my problems or fix my life. I'm at the center of everything and a girl is only a compliment to my already awesome self.

*More than two weeks of being out every single night. It's starting to feel normal. I'm starting to wonder why I'm not out there doing daygame as well.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:16 am 
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Tonight was a joy, like getting your favorite drunk food in the world after ten amazing beers at your friend's birthday party. Except that I was at the club, I knew nobody, and I was drinking water. After getting steamrolled last night I was really hoping tonight would turn out better. Arriving at the club I was excited to see a great party, the most people on a Wednesday I've seen all year! Lots of dudes but plenty of girls too.

Opened a girl and talked for five minutes. It was going great but I ejected. Not really interested in her and horrible, horrible logistics. Upstairs I sat down next to a girl and we chatted for fifteen minutes. She was from Italy but spoke a bit of German. I felt no pressure to "make anything happen" or to push this set to its breaking point. I was 100% cool to just relax, look at the NYC skyline and have a conversation. After fifteen minutes I left, feeling great. I went to the dance floor and opened a very attractive girl who turned out to be Italian too. Friend of the Italian girl upstairs. I came very, very close to making out with her. Half an inch away, we both wanted it. Not sure why I didn't go for it. The moment passed and it was time to lead, so I said:

"Let's go to the bar, I need to get more water"

She said fine and I started leading. But we only get several feet before she stopped me, said she wanted to stay with her friends. They have a table and I led her right past it. One of the friends must have grabbed her attention. I had no idea the table was there with her friends otherwise I would have taken a different route. Too bad. She says she'll see me later, I say OK.

Back on the dance floor I open another attractive woman and we chat. She seems to be into me and so after several minutes I attempt to lead her a few feet away. She won't do it. She walks away without a goodbye. Hmm.. I make eye contact with another girl and open her, but we only talk for 2 minutes before she dances off. I make several more laps around the club but see few possibilities. I was really hoping to see somebody I knew, any pickup guy I recognized, so we could open some sets. Nobody though, I'm surprised. So I pick up my backpack, fetch myself an Uber and take the ride back to Brooklyn.

Growth vs. Good Vibes

Here's the thing about the night: I really fucking enjoyed it. I felt very comfortable chatting with women, being myself, almost making out with a tall, skinny, dark haired Italian girl. It was great, nothing "bad" happened the whole night. However, the entire night I was playing not to lose, definitely not playing to win... I cared more about maintaining my good state then I did about taking risks that could potentially lead to a pull or a blown out set (but lesson learned).

It's understandable. Last night I felt like hell and tonight I wanted to have fun. So I did and I left the club feeling grand. But now I'm back in my room and I have a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. I passed up on (almost) every single opportunity I had to potentially win. I didn't reapproach and risk a blowout, I didn't approach mixed sets, I let girls go without complaint or putting up a fight. I decided my mood was more important than learning lessons and potentially pulling.

I did it, it's done. However, in the future I will not replicate this. I would much rather have a series of blowouts because I tried a bunch of new stuff and learned a bunch of lessons, than have a smooth, good-vibes night because I only did things that I'm already comfortable with. Doing only what you already know might feel good in the moment, but it doesn't feel so good when you look back on it. It's not a path to progress, it's a trail to stagnation. Anyways, I did make an active effort to lead sets. That was good. My two main focuses right now:

1. Leading sets.
2. Maintaining the: I'm awesome frame no matter what the circumstances.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 8:00 pm 
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1:30 at the third bar of the night and I open a blonde girl standing by herself. I'm in a good mood so it's going well. We're talking about living in Williamsburg and who has a better view of Manhattan from their rooftop. Out of the blue she says:

"Do you smoke weed?"

I reply "No, but I'm sure you can easily find somewhere here who does."

"No" she says "I have some with me."

Bam, right here. I interpret this as her using an excuse to leave with me. Maybe she just meant going outside the club to smoke, but in the moment I took it to be an invitation back to her place. So I immediately come back with:

"I don't smoke but I would love to see your rooftop to see if your view is better."

She laughs in my face, not in a good way. I believe that the adjectives tactless and uncalibrated best describe what I just said. I basically blew the set but I still try to lead her outside, she won't budge. She walks away. Fine, so what's the lesson?

This..

I was doing A-ok up until she asked me if I smoke, which was her investing in me. However, instead of letting her continue to invest I shot right back with the "see your roof" line and totally over-invested in her. I took all the fun out of it. What I should have done is said "No" and waited. Let her chase me some. Let her figure this out. I've displayed enough value, the set is firmly hooked, I'm feeling great. I should have held my tongue and given her another chance to lead me out of the club.

Also, I need to be approximately 700% more aware of letting girls invest in me. Right now I do not handle it well. A girl will ask me a question (start investing) and I'll answer then immediately ask her a question and over-invest. What I should be doing is answering, then scaling back just a notch. Let her ask another question, let her chase, I can be the challenge for her. I can see this being especially effective in day game or at lounges or well lit venues where you can actually hear each other.

2nd Bar of the Night: Free Willy

One girl in the whole place worth talking to. Opened, then a walrus that somehow had mutated human legs and a dress stole her away.

1st Bar of the Night: Missed Pull Opportunity

I came really, really fucking close to having an amazing night here. Dominating the whole venue, talking to everyone, kicking ass. With a few simple tweaks I could have made it happen and it would have been fucking epic. It would have been exactly like something Distant Light (my mentor and inspiration) would have done. That's actually really exciting in itself, to see the potential of reaching his level. Anyways, like this title suggests I almost pulled.

Went out late, 12:30 or so. Ideally I would go out this late every night (since bars close at 4 in NYC) if this wasn't the worst fucking time ever to get into clubs. But it's Thursday so it doesn't matter. Get inside, open the very first set I see. One girl is speaking into the other girl's ear and she's listening attentively. In earlier days I might have used this as an excuse to not approach. Not now. I roll up, get their attention, ask a question, then just stand there holding my frame like a fucking gangster. I don't give a fuck and it feels fucking awesome. I don't lean in, I don't act intimated, I just wait. In less than a minute the girl on the left flips and she starts putting her arm around my neck and whispering in my ear.

For the next twenty minutes I lead her around the bar, we talk, and I hold the vibe. But I never go for the makeout. Looking back from the future I have no fucking idea why I didn't. I think that maybe I took it for granted (big mistake). She's practically brushing lips with me and physically escalating on me, but I don't do it. Then she says:

"I really need to go talk to my friends right now."

I say: "Ok cool."

Pull her in, kiss on the lips, and let her go. I reapproach her twenty minutes later and she blows me off. She wants no part of me. It's done. Here's everything I believe I fucked up.

1. I know this sounds demented and insane but sometimes when a girl gives me heaps and heaps of great signs I get a bit uneasy and don't act on it. I'm so used to fighting for attraction and compliance that when it just comes so easily I lose my A game and start playing with my C game. I think that's part of the reason I didn't go for the makeout. I sort of took it for granted. Which I shouldn't have.. This girl wanted to makeout with me and by not doing it I showed fear and lack of social acuity and it withered because of it.

2. I should have just fucking pulled this girl out of the bar. Fuck seeding the pull, fuck dealing with friends, I just needed to get her out of the fucking bar, on the sidewalk, and start walking. My game is easily good enough to bullshit all of this and keep it going the two blocks it takes to walk to my house. Instead I weakly let her go and showed myself to not be a leader.

3. If I was going to seed the pull I should have done it not by saying "Let's go to my place" but "Let's go check out this cool bar right down the street" Which is conveniently 74 feet from my front door.

Man, I had this in the bag but I got lazy, I took it for granted and so I lost it. I think I'm justified at being pissed at myself. This was not a situation where things were out of my control. Instead, I had control, I had the window of opportunity and I spit on it. I cannot let this happen again. Lead, lead, lead and go for the fucking pull. When there's a window of opportunity I have to act on it because the window can close at any time.

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