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deepbluewater
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Reputation: 1.5  
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 Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:24 pm Post subject: Female PUA |
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Hey all,
I'm a girl. I also am a bit of a pick-up artist. Believe it or not, there still is a game to getting guys, especially attractive ones.
I used to have terrible social anxiety but on good days I have the entire male population (and the non-straight female population) at a party or club kissing my feet. Picking up guys is always fun, but what I still need to work on is being able to have a healthy relationship with a guy. For a variety of reasons, most of my relationships have been too short-lived. I think part of it is that I continue to have pick-up artist tendencies even when I am exclusively dating someone. But I will admit that I have never cheated on anyone  .
I am originally from the U.S. and I am living abroad in Europe right now.
I am interested in the arts, playing sports, politics, philosophy and nightclubs.
I can give any of you honest advice so feel free to write to me and tell me your situation. I have a lot of male friends in person who I do the same with. I'm happy to join the ranks!
Take care!
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Infamous110
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 374
Location: South West, UK
Reputation: 45.2
votes: 6
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome.
Where abouts in Europe? Come be a pivot for me! |
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deepbluewater
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Reputation: 1.5
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Amsterdam. You? |
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Brad
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 407
Reputation: 993893000
votes: 3
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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Great stuff! Do you teach guys PU? Are you familiar with popular PU theories, concepts, tactics, etc?
Give your honest opinion about the PU community.
And your age is? |
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deepbluewater
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Reputation: 1.5
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Brad, I'd be happy to give you my two cents.
I don't teach guys formal PU, but I do give them social advice. I am familiar with the theories and terminology, as I have been curious to learn more about guys and also apply my own "game".
I think that some of it is great: particularly the stuff about how to be self-confidence and basic social/relationship skills as well as general advice. There are, however, parts of it that make the guys who use it seem like tools. Some of the openers, for example, such as the porn-star-name one that I was reading about in one of the other forums, are lame and make it seem like the guy is trying too hard.
Also, even though we are animals, a lot of pick-up theory tends to oversimplify social situations, when every situation and every person is different. (For example, "If the PUA moves his arm to the right and the HB9 turns away from him slightly, he should get his wing-man to humiliate the alpha male, and then drop a neg so that he is the most viable option..."). There are certain patterns to social behavior but it still varies from situation to situation. In my personal opinion, a person that is that easy to manipulate, no matter how hot he/she is, would not be worth my time. Then again, I am not a guy, and I would like to even connect to people with whom I have a one-night stand, but I don't know if this is the case for everyone.
I also think that PUA culture encourages people to be too manipulative. As a girl, if I sense that I am being manipulated, I am immediately turned off and can easily move onto the next guy. Many (smart) girls can tell when guys are being insincere, and will want nothing to do with them. I believe that at heart most guys are pretty sincere, and if they were confident, they would not feel the need to manipulate a girl into bed with them. There is a difference, however, between social skills, and manipulation. It is a thin line, but I think that working on one's pick-up skills as a social talent is perfectly fine, but lying, having ulterior motives and deliberately affecting all of one's behaviors will ultimately bite you in the ass as well as the girl (not just literally). I suppose the key difference is that in the social skills approach you are on the girl's side and ultimately you want to be her partner, not her competitor. In the end, it is not you vs. her, not you trying to overcome her resistance, but you trying to figure out a way to best get to know her.
Another thing the PUA community needs to do is realize that, especially in this day and age, girls and guys really aren't that different. Girls do the same types of things at parties to try to pick up guys, and they also don't always want to be "in love" before they fuck. Guys are not simply sex-crazed shallow manipulative serial one-night stand enactors. One key to being a good PUA is to throw away stereotypes. Then picking up a girl might be easier than you think. Believe me, a lot of times I go to clubs just expecting a guy to approach me. And he doesn't until he's really drunk and he tells me that it's because he was afraid I would get creeped out. No, you're supposed to have balls and come up to me.
I could probably write a whole lot more about this, but I'll wait to hear what other people have to say. |
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Brad
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 407
Reputation: 993893000
votes: 3
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| femalepuafriend wrote: | Then picking up a girl might be easier than you think. Believe me, a lot of times I go to clubs just expecting a guy to approach me. And he doesn't until he's really drunk and he tells me that it's because he was afraid I would get creeped out. No, you're supposed to have balls and come up to me.
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One of a number of concepts I teach guys about smashing their personal approach anxiety (so they can approach women easily, without fear or feeling inferior) is to
Understand Masculinity: Women Expect Men to Approach and Initiate Conversations!
I've found that once guys delve into masculinity (and what women look for in men), they find it much easier to approach. Many men fail to realize it's up to them to approach women they like, rather than the other way round.
You should stick around and share more of your thoughts. |
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deepbluewater
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Reputation: 1.5
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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It's true, Brad.
As progressive and forward-thinking as I (and a lot of other smart, independent women are), I want a guy to have some balls, at least as many balls as I have. Part of this is that I am sick of making all the moves and defining the relationship (or whatever it is). Guys these days are lame. They're pussies. They're scared by women. As much as women complain about creepers, most of the women I know love getting hit on if done in the right way. They may not admit it. Even if they're not interested, they're at least flattered.
And part, I must admit, is that I think that guys will think I'm desperate if I am forced to be assertive. Maybe I'm wrong about that. |
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Brad
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 407
Reputation: 993893000
votes: 3
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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You're spot on! The guys that learn to smash their AA and take the lead, are the guys that get more than there fair share of women, and not just any women either.
Sent you a PM.
| femalepuafriend wrote: | It's true, Brad.
As progressive and forward-thinking as I (and a lot of other smart, independent women are), I want a guy to have some balls, at least as many balls as I have. Part of this is that I am sick of making all the moves and defining the relationship (or whatever it is). Guys these days are lame. They're pussies. They're scared by women. As much as women complain about creepers, most of the women I know love getting hit on if done in the right way. They may not admit it. Even if they're not interested, they're at least flattered.
And part, I must admit, is that I think that guys will think I'm desperate if I am forced to be assertive. Maybe I'm wrong about that. |
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KevinS
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 21 May 2008
Posts: 173
Reputation: 23.9
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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I personally think that women give rubbish advice when it comes to meeting women. If i asked my mother advice she would give me rubbish advice ask a girl on the street and they just "oh dont worry darling you will find someone just be yourself and be honest"
Get advice from men not pathetic women who pretends to be a pua. Its in thier genes to use and manipulate you thats all they do. They think differently from men how can they possibly give us advice dont make me laugh.
Women have used me all my fucking life the last thing i want is advice from a woman.
Kev |
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Killians
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 09 Apr 2008
Posts: 233
Location: U.S
Reputation: 34.6
votes: 2
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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^ I can see someone is a little bitter
Welcome to the forums!
I am a girl too so its nice to see another girl around. Lets just hope you stay! |
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Brad
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 407
Reputation: 993893000
votes: 3
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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| KevinS wrote: | I personally think that women give rubbish advice when it comes to meeting women. If i asked my mother advice she would give me rubbish advice ask a girl on the street and they just "oh dont worry darling you will find someone just be yourself and be honest"
Get advice from men not pathetic women who pretends to be a pua. Its in thier genes to use and manipulate you thats all they do. They think differently from men how can they possibly give us advice dont make me laugh.
Women have used me all my fucking life the last thing i want is advice from a woman.
Kev |
If they haven't been exposed to and don't have an appreciation of the PU arts, then possibly. But don't generalise!
Zip gives great advice, for example. |
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Brainz
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Posts: 55
Location: Canada
Reputation: 17.4
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| Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:21 am Post subject: |
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Warning: DHV not intended! ;D
I'm always intrigued when girls come into the community. I'm even more intrigued at the fact that girls have their own community! But my intrigue is more scientific than PU-related..
Here are my questions:
1 - How do I meet/get ahold of members of the girls' community?
2 - What is the girls' community about? You said meeting good-looking guys? I've heard it's about finding quality guys for long term relationships.
I ask because I'm actually doing anthropological studies on human attraction. More specifically I study a lot of evolutionary psychology, some psychology and social psychology, and (perhaps less scientific) philosophy.
My ex-anthro prof. volunteers her time as my personal mentor, but she doesn't know that I'm also part of "the community". If I could get ahold of our female counter-parts that would be awesome for my studies! |
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Kushranada
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 39
Reputation: 3.3
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| Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:43 am Post subject: |
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| I must agree by the intrigue of a lady coming to a PUA forum! It may sound like a terrible question but how does the process work for women to pick up the guys they want? |
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Brainz
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Posts: 55
Location: Canada
Reputation: 17.4
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| Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:09 am Post subject: |
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lol btw, I love your signature/quote Krushranada! Being an intellectual pays off more than most people think!  |
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deepbluewater
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Reputation: 1.5
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| Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:51 am Post subject: |
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Hi Killians,
It's great to see another woman around! I wonder what your relationship to the community is. Even as women, I'm sure our opinions differ so it's good to get a second POV.
Kev,
You're just going to need to get over your bitterness towards women. I'm sorry that you had a few negative experiences but you can't use those to generalize about 3.5 billion people in the world. "Being honest" and "being yourself" aren't everything but when used in the right way can definitely help your game. Believe me, I know.
Brainz,
When I have more time, I will respond to your thoughtful questions but I am very busy at the moment! Yes, smart people are hot! |
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