F-closed a midget

caveman · Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:06 pm Post subject: F-closed a midget

This is my second post and I know by what my subject line says you guys are reading this because you are as sick minded as me.
Yeah I'm on another level. In my past i had just about every type of chick but I never had a midget. Always wanted a midget I'm demented like that.
My wife went away for 2 weeks and I took this time to go midget hunting on myspace and found this chick who was 4'2" tall. I knew my game would have to be tight because there has to be alot of other sick bastards like me trying to get her inbetween the sheets.
My game was simple I told her I wanted to try something new. Her answer to that was alot of guys want to try something new and have sex with a small person. She said she gets emailed all the time, guys telling her they seen midget porn and want to try it out. I told her by trying something new I meant that I wanted to meet a girl on myspace because girls in clubs are all party animals. I said that I've been with a small girl before and thats not the reason I was emailing her. She was suprised to hear that I've been with a midget before and believed every lie I was typing on this damn computer. Anyway after 4 days of emailing eachother I # closed her. I told her I was tired of all this email sh-t let me get your phone #. We talked for about 1 and she agreed to let me go over her house the next day. I drove for about an hour to see this chick. From inside her house we agreed to go out to eat. While walking to a restaurant with her I felt a slight embarrassment. It seemed like everybody was looking at us but I quickly through the feeling to the side. I did the truth or dare without the dare trick and it worked like a charm. She told me all her dirty secrets walking to and from the restaurant. When we got to her house I tried the kiss gambit and she said maybe so I said lets find out. While swapping spit with this dwarf I rubbed just right under her breast acting as if I was holding back from going further. i then started sucking on her neck awhile and when she was breathing heavily I completely stopped. She said whats wrong and I said we're going to fast. She said it was ok and I said lets go to your room. She said we're not having sex and I said of course not. I got her shirt off then her pants and stood up and stripped down naked. The female minimi then said she didn't have any condoms. Thats ok baby I got some. She then said I planned this why would I have condoms. You always have to have condoms baby in this day and age, you never know when your going to need them. F-close. The kiss gambit and the truth or dare i learned from the book, but the pulling back "we're going to fast" right when they're all hot and heavy, i've been doing that for years. When I got home and told my boys about it, every one of them said "Does she have any midget friends?" Thats when I knew there were more mentally deranged sick bastards like me on earth trying to reach the next level.

JSmooth · Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 11:01 pm Post subject:

Sounds like you had a good time, good for you I guess if that's what you are into.

MrHyde · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:03 am Post subject:

Great job, you planned your work and worked you plan.

So in the end, was it worth the effort? Are you going to Day 2 her, or was this just to check off on your "List of things I need to fuck before I die"?

-Hyde

P.I.M.P · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:08 am Post subject:

hey man w/e floats ur boat lol. Good job.

caveman · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:30 am Post subject:

Thanks Hyde.

No there is no Day 2 for her. It was just a check off on my "List of things I need to fuck before I die"?

By the way she was an HB3.5 in midget rating. If you want to know what that is in our rating, times it by 2.

I'm looking to get an amputee next. Now that's hard to do. You can't find them on myspace. Any suggestions?

xxIcexx · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:45 am Post subject:

P.I.M.P · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:49 am Post subject:

JSmooth · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:14 am Post subject:

That's not even right...

caveman · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:53 am Post subject:

I feel like I need to defend myself. I'm not joking, I'm dead serious. I said I'm on another level. What's so wrong about it?

I'm not here to make any enemies but most of you would'nt even think about f-closing an amputee.

Look, I had Asians, Blacks, Whites and Hispanics. I'm Hispanic myself. If I said I wanted to F-close an Indian HB, something I never did, would it be wrong (even though I did K-close one).

If I do get to F-close an amputee just think of it as a favor for her because the way you guys are responding, its as if she's a freak. Shame on you guys.

Seriously you guys wouldn't touch her. So she would be happy to get somebody like me because you guys ain't doing it.

Just like you guys said whatever I'm into. Damn, you are acting like I said somebody with down syndrom or something!!!

GRKiller · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:16 am Post subject:

MrHyde · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:55 am Post subject:

[soapbox]
I say we give caveman his props. Yeah he has different tastes and is going for something specific, but it seems just a *little* hypocritical for some PUAs on a PUA forum to get bent out of shape about a lay report.

Shit, we freakin applaud when a player nails a virgin, or scores with a threesome, or some highschool PUA starts nailing all girls in his class, etc, etc. But, I bet if some of our non-PUA friends/GFs/brothers/sisters/moms read the shit we post here they would be freakin upset.

And while you or I might not like something about it, we have all crossed an ethical line (either our own or someone else's). An interesting (but really pointless) discussion might be to what are some of your personal ethical lines? And how many times you might have crossed your own line? But let's save that for a different thread/section.

My point: this is a lay report. He listed his techniques, and skills he used for LMR, etc, etc. So it fits the category.
[/soapbox]

-Hyde

JSmooth · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:55 pm Post subject:

Guys,

I actually gave caveman some props for the material he used and his ability to fight through LMR to get the f-close, and its a commendable job. However, when I find a girl that I like I go for a Day 2,3,4,5, etc. I don't hit it and quit it!

To quote Caveman "It was just a check off on my "List of things I need to fuck before I die"?

Secondly, I don't specifically go out looking for people with disabilities. Sure if I met one that I liked great, but I don't specifically target people like that. However, I commend caveman on the fact that he is not too judgemental about these types of things! Again, I do not target specific races, cultures, or groups ever!

Enough said,

Lucifer · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:09 pm Post subject: wow

even though this is a wierd post i kinda feel were cave mans comin from. If you ever seen Sopranos with that pretty good looking blond russian maid who was an amputee, ya well id fuck. Though like jsmooth said i wouldnt go outta my way for an amputte but it could be interesting. kudos

caveman · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:49 pm Post subject:

Thanks again Hyde. Thanks Lucifer. I'm glad to see some people are on my side.

Women do it all the time. They hit it and quit it. Plain and simple we are all out to get the pussy.

Anyway I can't go back a second time. [edited]

J Smooth I see where you're coming from. But I don't think you came back a 2nd time for every HB you F-closed. Come on!!! What are you the PUA saint. Who else on this site feels like J Smooth? I bet everyone of yous F-closed some HB and never looked back.

The Wild One · Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:50 pm Post subject:

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