Eye Contact

OneTime · Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 12:31 pm Post subject: Eye Contact

This is what I realized.

I've been reading and absorbing every thing about PUs, but it still hasn't given me the quick solution everyone wants. It gave me a few highs here and there only because I was more aware of the situations I was in with women. Before I was completely clueless.

You know why some of you aren't getting any where? Too much looking in to the future and what "could" happen. Thinking of situations you "might" be in. I had that problem since my emotional high at the bar. I kept thinking of what I would do in this situation and that situation. I still have a decent amount of social shyness.

The solution:

Start with small goals, never look in to what might or could happen. If you've been reading a shit load of material like me, you know what to do in when you get to the rapport phase blah blah. But what's the point of thinking about that when you can't approach a person? Spending massive amount of time reading about building comfort kino etc is pointless when you can't actually say 1 thing to a woman.

You know what helped A LOT, I mean TREMENDOUSLY. Learn how to use eye contact. Locking in on someone's eye is so damn important. I've been making sure anyone within a 20 feet radius I've made solid eye contact with and wait till they look away.

See you don't even have to say anything to a women and you've approached her. You shown interest. I just started my new job and I just locked eye contact w/ a girl across the room, walking one direction, turn my head slowly and bam eye to eye, with out saying a word and she smiled so I smiled back. I didn't say one damn thing but we both showed interest. Until later I found out she was my boss's daughter DAMN!

I also was at the mall running errands when I met a girl at the help desk. She looked up at me and we both just kept eye contact the whole time she was helping me. Her eyes were so blue it made me feel refreshed looking at her eyes in the heat (outdoor mall). And I made sure to tell her that. I would've NEVER done that unless I knew she would accept that compliment before hand. How did I know she would accept it? We never unlocked eye contact. Then SHE started chatting me up, I didn't even have to use an opener. Too bad her coworker was a total f'in cock block.

At my retail job a woman approached the cashier counter w/ her stuff totally silent and looked a little irritated but when I said "Hi" and locked eyes, she started smiling and got very talkative.

What I noticed a lot is that so many girls wear sunglasses it's impossible to lock eye contact with them.

If you have a lot of social shyness and saying "hi" to everyone at the mall or whatever is still impossible for you to do. I'd suggest just learning how to make eye contact with every person you see UNTIL THEY LOOK AWAY.

When I first started doing it, I would look away first then I lost them. The ones I made atleast a 3-5 second eye contact with seemed to always be happy to talk. My approaches are never a mystery now and the big question in your head "what if she doesn't want to talk to me?" which is probably main reason your shy in the first place, is gone.

The womans eye direction:

From what I noticed and read, women that look to the side after she locks eyes with you isn't interested in the most part. I haven't approached any that looked to the side so I can't give a definitive answer.

Women that look down are shy, insecure, or interested. If she looks back up before I pass her, I make sure I smile to her. If she smiles and looks down again she's really shy. If she just looks ahead and doesn't smile then screw it, move to the next person, probably a cold hearted biatch! (j/k)

Women that smile first, that's the best feeling in the world, (unless she's your boss's daughter!). I read never to smile first so I don't, it works a lot better. I smiled first before but they give u a pity smile and not a sincere smile. You can totally tell the difference after a few go's at it.

This is probably the most common thing that happens. We both lock eye contact while walking towards each other but she doesn't smile. When we're about to pass each other we lose contact. Turning your head for her seems really creepy if she's not smiling at you. It just seems ultra creepy even thinking about doing it.

Locking eye contact and no smiles or she looks to the side, from what I've notice are about 75% of the time.

Lock eyes and look down are about 20%

Lock eyes and smile, probably 5%

If you guys wanna any anything feel free. But this method proved to me it works. Especially for a guy that did not want to approach every girl at a mall and say "hi".

Mr Fahrenheit · Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:37 pm Post subject:

Thats awesome, i love it when a subtle physical action can set you up and tell you a whole stack about peoples personalities. Just a question, what kind of openers do you use after you find one of the 5% girls that smile? It sounds really effective, but i cantthink of where to go after that.

OneTime · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 4:41 am Post subject:

It really depends on where I am. I did opinion openers when I'm at the mall. "Hey, can you help me real quick? I gotta get my coworker a birthday gift but I have no clue what I should get her. What do you think a girl would want that's not impersonal like a gift card. The most I can spend is $10, I remember when I bought my coworker a $50 scarf for secret santa and I got chewed out by my boss. Being considerate gets you no where in life" =) (a real smile).

She gave me a few ideas on what to get her, like a birthday card w/ candies etc etc. but it pretty much ended there. I gotta work on my escalating the convo a bit further.

marudam · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:08 am Post subject:

I am trying a simillar / same method from the book Without embrassment .....
I was just trying for couple of days and most of the girls avert thier eye contact... your message is really motivates.. Smile

it shows the good time is yet to come... Smile

But i got a question. I am ethinically different. doest it affect this method ?

OneTime · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:19 am Post subject:

you gotta look at which direction their eye moves. Do they avert it by looking down or to the side? Or do they turn their head? I wouldn't even bother w/ women that turn their heads. It might be demoralizing in the beginning when you're getting no eye contact back, but like they say, this is a numbers game. The odds are small that you'll get a positive eye contact but when it happens, it's like winning jackpot. The 1 girl that looks back at you and smiles makes up for the 20 that didn't even wanna look. Get multiple smiles in 1 day, you feel like a complete stud.

mii · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:41 pm Post subject:

so wait for them to smile at you?

OneTime · Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:57 am Post subject:

Anyone that holds eye contact w/ you. The easiest ones are the ones that smile at you but shit, that's rare. Girls that hold eye contact are also the ones you should try to talk to.

Also to answer maru's question. I'm Korean. Ethnicity shouldn't matter for the most part. Not to be racist or anything but some women are way too intimidated by black people imo.

Just have good posture, make sure you're looking straight ahead and not down, chest out. Don't make it look like your fishing for eye contact. Just scan the area ahead of you and make it seem as if you're just so intrigued by the girls eyes that you can't stop staring at them for as long as you can.

manbearpig_09 · Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 5:12 am Post subject:

great advice Cool

Jack · Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 10:47 pm Post subject:

always start every set with this. Like you said, great indicator of whether shes interested and it totally removes about 80% of the fear to talk to her initially. For me though, I've noticed about 50% smile. Definitely the place to start for all beginning PUAs, nice post.

The Eagle · Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:13 am Post subject:

I believe eye contact is definately on the top 3 things that either makes or breaks you. It can easily be used to your advantage or against you. Good advice.
-Eagle.

Alphagame · Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:03 pm Post subject:

I started focusing on body language about 2 months ago. If I caught myself in a beta male body position, I would notice it and correct it immediately. Any more, keeping good body language is almost thoughtless. It's a habit now and it's definitely improved my game.

Same for voice control. It's still not as automatic as the body language, but it's a lot more automatic. If I catch myself slipping back to my natural nazally voice, I hear it and correct it almost immediately.

The thing about body language is, you can see most of your body and actually SEE if you're screwing it up. With voice tone, you can HEAR your own voice and realize you're screwing it up.

The problem with eye contact is, I don't realize I'm screwing it up as it's happening. I can "re-play" a conversation in my mind later and realize my eye contact was poor, but catching myself as I'm screwing it up and correcting it...that's a lot easier said than done.

I've been in the habit of not looking people in the eye when I speak to them my entire life. Establishing good eye contact is the fastest way to taking the alpha role with other men. It's got to be the most underated part of PU, in my opinion. There is SO MUCH you can read about what a person is thinking that's revealed through their face and eyes that you will never realize with your ears.

My son is 4 years old. When he talks to anyone, he NEVER looks at their face. I think it's in our nature to communicate with others by counting on our ears to hear what they're saying. It just doesn't come natural to read people's faces and eyes as they're talking.

EasyLover · Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject:

imperator · Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:06 pm Post subject:

I don´t really agree about holding eye-contact. It´s maybe a good start but it doesn´t really get you to your goal isn´t? Maybe the girls below 8 will look back and give you a smile. But the ones over wont most likely even look back nor give you a smile because they are so use to get eyes all over them. Then I think it´s better to just screw it all and just say hey. You don´t even have to say anything more just hey to start with. Say hey to every woman you see. I promise you this will give you a lot more becuase there you actually approach the girl. You have no pressure you don´t have to be funny/intersting just be able to say hey. I know it can be hard to walk past a 10 and say "hey". But skip the 10s if it´s to hard... If you just hold eye-contact it can be easy to be stuck there. Say "hey" while you are holding eye-contact that way she will most likely meet your eyes. If someone says hey to you, you automaticly respond. That will maybe gain your confidence. I tried to say "hey" to every women a saw one night and it did so much. At the end of the night I opened I few set I was giving a positive wibe to everyone.

Don´t know if this works for everybody but it´s sure worked for me!

Tell me what you think and if you try it how it went!

/Imperator

OneTime · Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:32 am Post subject:

Hey Easy, if you're offended I'm sorry, im not being racist. Intimidated can be good and bad. There's a lot of different images that black men go by in my area but this isn't a thread for racial differences.

iam fuzz · Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 8:29 am Post subject:

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