I posted this shit about a year ago..

"I've been floating around this forum for years.. so ..About me.. 34.. feeling kinda past it.. left it too late kinda thing.. I just cant concentrate on anything right now.. my mind is like this.. ”I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl I want a girl ”etc I have a receding hairline, I'm outta shape, I have gynaecomastia (aka man boobs) I don't drive, I'm not earning enough, I'm shy, have low self esteem, socially anxious and bit mega-lo-maniacal..

Have you heard the story: rime of the ancient mariner.. t's a story, fable poem, thingy about a basically the captain of a ship he and his crew lost at sea, they’re thirsty but they've run out of clean fresh salt-free water.. and its kinda his fault and he says.. “water water everywhere and not a drop to drink” well that's how I feel.. lost and thirsty.. seriously thirsty for girlfriend and I see women everywhere I go(london baby).. and somehow I just cant... get some

so why am I here.. I wanted to do a journal.. a field report... an inner game field report or something to start with, is there such thing..... I don't know...
I just need to learn to face rejection, and be ever-ready to say hi to cute women, face rejection without too much loss of self esteem.. I'm looking for the one, I'm not here to learn how to hypnotize I don't wanna learn any Jedi mind tricks.. I just wanna live a little bit more and I'm running outta time!!!!"


And the only things that have changed.. I 'm a little fatter, a little balder and a little more jaded.. Every now and then I find myself saying. "chew 'em up- spit 'em out". I was never a player! what the fuck am I becoming.
I'm fucking lost man..

I'm a London guy.. I'm gonna need a wing a some point.. but for now.. I need to know I can do this shit alone.. I think I need to share some feeling about women in my life.. about my history.. childhood shit.. arrghhh fuck it...

Trust me you can.

1st bit of advice; Join a GYM, tighten that shit up!
2nd; Change your diet, the answer is not at the bottom of a bag of cheese puffs.
3nd; Buzz or shave your noggin.
4th; Quit yanking on your little buddy so much and go outside.

Please do, including those that raised you.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

O.k this is where I'm atI've got some issues which I'm working through.. I guess we're all here to work through shit.. I just hope this doesn't sound too whiney.

yup... I'm putting the filth away: I'm cutting distractions out of my life
(1)No porn (2)Next to no time on the internet (3)No phone sex (4)No jerking off into the webcam for confused HB 4-5 I find on okcupid, pof, oasis, smooch.. so... (5)No more online dating (6)No TV (7)No gaming ..
~Well that's the easy part.

The hard part: (8)No more junk food & (9)Cutting down wanking is gonna take level 10 mastery.. these two things have got me through the worse of my depression.
20 fucking years I've been depressed.. no girlfriend.. me versus. No medication lots of counselling.lol . bit of reading lots of sitting around just thinking. and but still I have these issues with women, and issues with self worth, fear of failure.. Am I'm here to confront this shit, though I also have issues with confrontation.. fuck it I'm feeling stronger than ever, still a lil nutty but that only adds to my charm
(10)I need to meditate more and (11)I at least need to go the fuck out and be around women.

That's 11 current or proposed life changes and 4 issues..I'm gonna put all this thinking into a plan

You... don't have to cut all of that out, you know.

Heywood knows his shit - and he suggested only a handful of changes...

You're saying 'no TV, no gaming, no online dates' and a bunch of other stuff...

There's no reason to cut out everything - you have to live a semi normal life you enjoy. Cutting out your daily viewing of Young and the Restless won't help you pick up girls...

You also don't have to stop jerking off altogether. Cut it down, and get off the Internet when you do it...

1st...Yeah I go gym.. should go more often though.. working on it
2nd- Diet is difficult, unfortunately over the years I have found peace and salvation in biscuits & burgers and all type of bad food.. I hear you though.. working on it
3nd- . Yeah I shave it .. I even found some long ass hairs in my ears.. so I bought a pair of tweezers and dealt with them.. Arrgh fucking ear hairs
4th-Gonna be a struggle..

5th-thanks for the support bro, means alot.

If you think it will be a struggle it will. I am convinced that limiting beliefs are the #1 thing that prevents guys from seeing success in this area.

"This goes easily and my new life is waiting. I go after it with energy and I accomplish my goals because women find me irresistible." I don't care if that looks like a horse shit affirmation to tell yourself over and over and over and over again until you believe it. You have admitted what what you did in the last year didn't get you closer to your goals. Change the story you tell yourself.

Ask yourself how many women have you approached in the real world in the last year.

After a week or so of your new cleaner habits, start there.

Get out and approach.

Fall on your ass a million times until you feel comfortable.

Most guys never develop the stones to do this even though they desperately want to. Be the exception that proves the rule.

Hit the streets and have fun with it.

Dude, I'm fucking rooting for you man! I was in a similar situation. I wasn't fat but overweight by about 20 pounds. I worked out and got in shape (I'm now pretty damn fit, I weigh 185 and am all muscle). I didn't have a lot of experience with girls, no confidence, ect.

Anyway, You may feel at a bit of a disadvantage due to weight, but the truth is to not let it get to you. This video may help for motivational support: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWDmw8qai8Y

RSD will teach you that it's all in your head. If your reality is strong enough, that's what people will belive.

Anyway, good luck mate!

_________________
Previously Rugby7

My PUA Journey (2014): http://bit.ly/1yYjtSV
MY PUA Journey (2015): the-342-journal-vol-2-rugby7-vt187356.html
My Workout (Read this): http://bit.ly/1zIQncY

Record: 131
Record: 124

Story sounds a lot like me. I'm 32 and in the states. I am in shape, I drive and still have my hair although it's turning gray. Gonna have to dye it. Just wanna say that I'm pulling for you. I was a bit confused about what direction I want to go in and still am. Trying to rid myself of the dirty habits and create something meaningful. But damn, it can be kinda hard sometimes. Got this annoying chick that I met online months ago who blew me off to get back with her ex now all of a sudden wanting me bad, but I'm not feeling her because I've tasted it once before. 2 year relationship a few years back with this beautiful, athletic girl. Had a great job and an even better body. Just trying to work my way back to that again. You can too. I'm pulling for you.

No need your demographic will love it! Grow some salt and pepper scruff!
So, fuck her, wipe your dick on her curtains, go on with your day! No relationship required.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I've been needing to update this, I cant be leaving this for 30 days again.. I need focus.. kinda hard updating this when I supposed to be cutting down on online activities.. but I actually need to prioritize this, this draws me back into dealing with my issues, anyways..here goes..


Well this 'cleaner way' of living is fucking difficult !!& I still haven't written up a proper plan yet.. ~I've tried sticking to the rules this is how it's gone:

1)Cut down Fap 100% fail
2) Meditate more 100% fail ,
3)eat well I’d say 50% success/fail,
4)no online dating fail 80% I've got pof.com open as I type this and let's just say they ain't pretty..
5)go out 30% success..
6)less internet 80% success ..
7)no TV 8% fail...
8 )No gaming 98% success..
9)No chatlines 100% success
10)no web cam fappage.. 100% success
11)And increase my time in the gym.. 100% glory managed to go twice a week without fail for a month...that's 9 sessions in a row its a good base to build from
-Going to the gym so much brought positive and negative.. made me much hungrier and hornier and I also feel less lonely.. which effected other goals I've put on weight I'm6ft 182cm and 97kgs and 36 % fat according to the scales.. I find it hard to believe I'm 36% fat.. that's like saying I'm carrying around 32kgs of fat.. there really no point being that fat, not in this society anyway living in England I doubt there'll be a famine arriving anytime soon.. I wanna get down to 6% fat I want a proper jawline.lol
So anyways with all that said..
strange thing is.. when looking back with my minds eye I was thinking I haven’t done enough... but now... having written it all out.. I've done OK still not said hi to any women yet, not entered any bars..



What I've learnt from this.. feedback from the successes and failures-

Making lifestyle changes isn't easy and I think step by step is the probably the best way...I'm already thinking whether for the next month I should just try to make one small incremental steps or whether I should push myself hard.. like then I'm thinking I'm so frustrated
I've learnt I need at least some comfort in my life, porn, junk food, gaming, internet, shopping all this kinda stuff comforts me... I've learnt I still don't feel ready to go to bar pub clubs alone.. I'm still not feeling ready..< I'm not ready but I'm soo fucking lonely and horny.. that I'm just gonna push myself to do shit.. the only worry is that I'll burn myself out and sink... or burn myself out and quit

Man !!! if I could just get my arse in shape and play with a hot chick/s...or have friends and a social life... all that shit would be so fucking comforting, my life is sad... how did I let it get like this,.depression is a motherfucker!!
I'm isolated and I've isolated myself further by intentionally leaving my phone at my cousins house.. should help with cutting down on phone-sex.. I'll go get it if I do number close.. unlikely right now!
So many things I need to sort in my life.. but I cant concentrate... the chase is everything... I love women I love sex.. I'm thinking Of going gym 5 times a week and Going out roaming 4 days a week..
Roaming is not quite the same as Sarging. I haven't truly sarged in years.. Roaming It's just my way of saying getting out there, and getting used to getting out there, and sniffing around getting used to the areas.. I think I've found a good gaming area... anyways It's a step in the right direction
Like I say.. the chase is everything right now. The chase is the goal.. not the phone numbers not the sex.. just the pursuit of excellence .. failure is OK, I need to create a mindset where I can chase a dream, any dream without fear.

P.s I'm gonna update this at least once a week from now on..
I need to get back to you guys on some of the things you've said, advice, knowledge, opinions.. and thank you for the support

Like I used to watch TV, play computer games, download porn all damn day you know! All week and get bugger all done... just slowly watching life & dreams slip away.. It's something I do.. I avoid the issues.. bury my head.. when you strip all the distractions away it help you face the truths and work with them..
And so many things in today’s society like TV, gambling, games, are designed to be addictive and distracting, designed to be fun.. designed to take up your time.. and they give very little to your dreams..
'But you're right, in that everyone needs a little R&R and if I try to change everything all at once I'm at risk of emotional burnout... cheers dude

Yup I agree – limiting beliefs are keeping me from at least some of my goals.
I want this sooo much, not just for the sake of getting laid but also generally.. there fear of failure has been a blight on my life for so long... but exactly how does one get rid of this.. exposure?? maybe positivity training..?? affirmations?? hypnotism?? think I'll try affirmations next.. hopefully affirmations will lead me to exposure.. Anyways.. much appreciated

cheers bro
I agree, I kissed the hottest woman I ever did when I was at my fattest.. was a crazy night out in Newcastle.. though I never slept with her we kissed and fondled.. it was wicked she was in her late teens I was 27 she was a H!!B8.7 .. I was broken hearted, and at my lowest ebb and just had an “I don't give a fuck attitude”. Damn I wish I fucked that girl.. So yeah ,fat guys can pull.
But that's the thing about being outta shape.. your dick doesn't work quite as well as it should and if you grow man boobs.. sometimes your man boobs are bigger than the woman you're screwing.. it's weird.. I’ve got bigger tits than Keira Knightley..
But still you're right.. most girls don't care.. well they don't care about the boobies, they care if you don't fuck 'em right though..

Salt and pepper can look cool as fuck I hear that!! Ouch dude! nice Man I'm pulling for you too. I think you pine over women.. I do that too sometimes..
the athletic hottie ?.. are you trying to get back with her? Oneitis?

I don't know why you fear failure so much... You fail every time you don't say anything, seems to me like you're embracing and welcoming it.

In all honesty. You need to evaluate why your even doing this. To spend years arguing with your mind about taking a split second of your time to open a girl is ridiculous. We've all been through it.

Listen, the reality of the situation is that you will not be sleeping with Keira Knightley even after you conquer this most basic of things (approaching consistently).

You'll have to go and get rejected a bunch of times to get the confidence. With confidence and a basic routine, Keira Knightley will still blow you out.

Someone like her requires advanced skills. You're wasting the limited amount of time you have left in this life. You could be ran over by one of those double Decker buses tomorrow...for real. I've been run over by a bus before, the shit is not fun.

Let me give you some perspective. I spoke with a friend yesterday I've known about 6 months ish. I made an analogy between pickup and boxing. I explained to him how the act of walking up and approaching a girl over and over builds confidence and allows you to flow with your routine.

Comparing it to boxing this would be like doing push ups or any other physical training which allows you to use your techniques more (the athleticism). You could do 10,000 push ups get chiseled, and then jump in the ring with Floyd Mayweather and get knocked the fuck out.

You need to decide what your goals are with learning these skills. That way there is intention behind your actions. I don't know really what you want to do so the only advice I can give you is on dealing with this AA.

You have confidence issues, we all know it. I'm sure your aware the only way to get past this is to do it. You don't seem confident enough to just dive right into the deep end, but taking baby steps is fine for you.

Step 1: Walk outside and say hi to everyone you see.

Just say hi. Don't have anything to follow up with. Don't try and start a conversation. Only say hi to people who won't be around you for prolonged periods of time to avoid any awkwardness.

Do this to everyone you see until you don't experience any emotions around the idea of walking past a stranger and saying hi.

Step 2: Take some advice on this forum on indirect routines and memorize one. Practice this routine by yourself out loud for 45 minutes straight. Like rehearsing for a presentation at school. Just focus on practicing the routine by yourself and saying HI to everyone you meet. I personally think direct will gain you more confidence faster, but you're still an AFC so indirect would be more comfortable to you.

Step 3: Eventually saying Hi will not be enough for you and you will WANT to play with your toy (the routine) so just try it 1 time. You have to stay unattached to the outcome because you will be given flaky numbers or blown out by 9-10 girls you meet.

Step 4: Go through your daily life and when you see a pretty girl run your routine. After you've run your routine 100 times you're technically a Pick Up artist. Even if your skills are d level.

Bonus: Having obtained your basic PUA badge look into better knowledge and expand your skillset. I recommend going for a well rounded skill set which allows you flexibility in any situation.

_________________
I am a hunter of human excellence. I seek out those individuals who break the norms
and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
them.