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This is sort of a long story but I'll keep it as short as possible..
A good friend of mine introduced me with this good female friend of his. We gathered together at least 5 times per month and regularly chatted on Facebook on other days. After 6 months of great hangouts, parties, gigs.. getting high and doing all sorts of silly things.. she kind of grew on me and became cuter and cuter with time. Recently we started hanging out alone. At first, I didn’t want to risk breaking the gang apart but I went for it. We made out. Then we got together couple of days later where it escalated with some touches and neck kissing on the bus stop and got kind of hot.
Now, these are the things that led to this LJBF:
1) She found my online dating account 7 months ago, about which she heard is for arranging sex meet-ups (it is not).
2) Latelly, she was curious to see my pacemaker scar. I couldn’t show it publically so I told her I’ll send her a pic. Couple of days later I sent her one (after she sent me one sexy picture of hers in a leather mini skirt). And wait for it.. I had no shirt on! Wow who would have thought that I’d have to take off my shirt to take a picture of my chest scar..
3) I did one erection joke on Facebook (it was hilarious btw). We joked on the sexual subjects loads of times and it was always hilarious.
But it did make her sort of blow up (as it turned out, I was sending her almost naked pics and mentioning my erections), saying that she is not that kind of girl, that we’ve just met (what??) and that she wouldn’t just sleep with anyone she met on the street (again.. what??).. Kind of stunned that I was, I apologized as she was definitely considerably upset, and said I will be more considerate next time. It hastily diffused and ended up on a high note. I wanted to meet up with her before she’s gone for the New Years and feel up the situation. We met at her place, made out a lot and she sort of purred, snuggled and gently bit me a few times on the arm that was on her shoulder. It seemed like she was enjoying it more. I walked with her to the taxi and there she went.
(all of the following happened on Facebook)
I guess it sort of stewed in her (in the 10 days that she was gone) and said that for the reasons above: "I feel that you only care about sex. I don't know, I might be wrong, but I've made the wrong choice so many times that one more mistake would be too much. Things like that would bother me in a relationship. I know myself, the thought wouldn't leave my mind and I'd snap eventually. So it is better to cut it off in the roots but I'd still hate it if we didn’t remain friends and continue super fun get-togethers as we did before." The next day we had a 20 min conversation about it where I tried to explain my point of view (in the hindsight I shouldn’t have done that). Right after that we went friendly like nothing ever happened.. not mentioning it for the next 5 days.
We agreed to meet up alone at her place one time before all 3 are there, so we defuse the potential awkwardness. This is happening in 2 days and it is our first meet-up since.
Now.. I have no problem being her friend as I loved her company in the first place but..
How in the world could she conclude such things? We’ve spent like 100s of hours together chatting and doing fun things.. I enjoyed every minute of it and she could see that. Do I want just sex from her because I sent a shitless pic or because I said a regular joke? Which one is it?
Also, I have to note that I’m sort of good looking (bulky and cut), cute (as she put it) and intelligent.
Is this some sort of test? Is she playing hard to get, so I'm more carefull in the future? Or do you feel this is unsalvageable?
Can I do anything besides reverting back to what we had, for at least couple of weeks and gouge her attitude and body language?
I have to thank you for reading this far and for your future oppinions. I truly tried to make it short.
Cheers!
You've missed the point mate... you havn't been friended... Quite the opposite. Think about it. She wouldn't be freaking out like that if she didn't like you.
The thing is, she's wants to feel something coming from your end. This is where it gets a bit difficult and by the looks of your post you're young and something of a newbie (don't take this the wrong way). What I'm talking about is almost spiritual.
What she wants from you is solidity. She wants to know that you are who you show yourself as. Simply having sex is not a problem. If Leo Dicaprio showed up and offered her some dick, this whole "im not that kind of girl" thing would not even cross her mind. No, women adore sex, but she wants to feel your masculinity. For instance, when you tell her you want her, do you mean it? Can she trust you? Not in a "you wont cheat on me" sort of way. She needs to feel that she can trust you at her worst. That you can take her shit like a man without breaking, without bending, without retreating into your head (or this forum).
She wants to see the indomitable spirit of a warrior mixed with the curiosity and passion of a child reflected in your eyes.
I'm getting awfully poetic.
Anyway before I say more, I'll judge your comprehension and maturity based on your response and will take it from there. Regardless, I hope this helps.
Just keep your head on your shoulders and remember that she's just a girl... Show her you care mate
With love and respect
Mack
Centered Man Project
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