What could I have done to close?

backIntheGame91 · Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:34 am

So, long story short, on the first date I got some makeouts back at her place, and a little grabby with her, but she was not having anything more. What are some things I could have done to escalate?

Here's what went down. We went back to her place (my place is not an option) after being out at a bar for a bit, and started watching a tv show in her living room (she has flatmates in the apartment, but she does have her own bedroom I made it my goal to end up in). I put my arm around her. She says "And who gave you permission to do that?". Surprised, I say "I did." She laughs and we sit back. After a minute or two, I pull her head into mine and we make out. Lightly. I put my hand on her knee and work my way upwards. She lightly stops my hand. I respect her but continue making out with her. Then stop.

We watch tv for 10ish more minutes. Then I kiss her again, this time I try kissing her particularly good, which she clearly likes and reciprocates. As we're kissing I work my hand from her shoulder down to her chest, and she stops me and says "chill" as she laughs a little. So I back off again. 15 mins later I start up again, kissing her good, teasing her a bit, which she liked, she called me a tease, and after a little bit I say let's go to your room for a bit. She laughs and says "not tonight".

So then later I started tickling her and then kissing her again, petting her hair while kissing her, giving her a good stare between kisses, kissing her neck (didn't respond too much to that), and then I grabbed her ass. She gave me this coy "you little shit" look and grinned at me. She says "I know I have a nice one" - I said why don't you show it to me. She laughs a bit and says no.

So then I gave up. Finished the tv show and bounced. She wanted me to stay and watch a movie with her but I wasn't about that lol. I feel like I tried every trick in the book - I put in a pretty ok effort, I followed the textbook and got somewhat far. No touchdowns, no field goals, but I advanced into the red zone. Some women are a bit prude - you can't always get what you want exactly when you want it. Obviously I should have built up more attraction, but how? Do you guys see anything else I could have tried?

Last edited by backIntheGame91 on Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:17 am, edited 2 times in total.

JackZero · Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:56 am

Seems like you kept going for tits and ass. You can get her hotter if you just stop short. Instead you put her on defense and then left when you weren't getting your way.

backIntheGame91 · Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:12 am

JackZero wrote:Seems like you kept going for tits and ass. You can get her hotter if you just stop short. Instead you put her on defense and then left when you weren't getting your way.

A fair assessment - I'll give that a shot. And yes I did leave when I wasn't getting my way (although I did stay for 20-30 mins after the last attempt to make it seem like I wasn't leaving because she rejected me). What, you would have stayed? I like to cut my losses. I tried 3 or 4 separate times, 3 or 4 differentish ways. I think we can both agree staying there longer would have been a waste for me.

JackZero · Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:23 am

backIntheGame91 wrote:
JackZero wrote:Seems like you kept going for tits and ass. You can get her hotter if you just stop short. Instead you put her on defense and then left when you weren't getting your way.

A fair assessment - I'll give that a shot. And yes I did leave when I wasn't getting my way (although I did stay for 20-30 mins after the last attempt to make it seem like I wasn't leaving because she rejected me). What, you would have stayed? I like to cut my losses. I tried 3 or 4 separate times, 3 or 4 differentish ways. I think we can both agree staying there longer would have been a waste for me.

I wouldn't have been so deliberate with my hands to put her mind on defense where it would cause me to come to a stop. Then I'd make her feel like I was trying to resist her. If she wanted to stop, then I'd leave.

backIntheGame91 · Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:27 am

I've read about that before but don't really understand that. How would you go about turning it around on her so she feels like I'm the one resisting her?

JackZero · Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:30 am

backIntheGame91 wrote:I've read about that before but don't really understand that. How would you go about turning it around on her so she feels like I'm the one resisting her?

"We should slow down," resist for a few moments and start back again.

backIntheGame91 · Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:37 am

Gotcha, thanks JZ.

Stoliar · Mon Feb 27, 2017 5:26 am

A variation of Jack's suggestion: get your hands flowing all over her body, not going straight to ass and/or breasts. When you kiss her, start with your hand on her ear, go down to her chin, her neck, her shoulder, brush the side of her breast, then down to her belly, her hips, her thighs, her knees, and get back up all the way to her ear. Going from ear to knee should just be a large caress of about 10 seconds. That way you have plausible deniability (you're not trying to fondle her breasts, your hand is just passing by) while she gets used to the contact of your fingers everywhere on her body.

JackZero · Mon Feb 27, 2017 5:47 am

Stoliar wrote:A variation of Jack's suggestion: get your hands flowing all over her body, not going straight to ass and/or breasts. When you kiss her, start with your hand on her ear, go down to her chin, her neck, her shoulder, brush the side of her breast, then down to her belly, her hips, her thighs, her knees, and get back up all the way to her ear. Going from ear to knee should just be a large caress of about 10 seconds. That way you have plausible deniability (you're not trying to fondle her breasts, your hand is just passing by) while she gets used to the contact of your fingers everywhere on her body.

This is absolutely correct. I'm typing on my phone and didn't provide nearly enough detail. Even at that, Stoliar provided better detail than I would have if I took my time.

chi31fan35 · Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:33 pm

I used to get a lot of LMR when I tried to move along things too quickly. What has reduced it a ton has been going slower and making sure she is turned on a ton by the time I make my next move. A few girls recently have taken off their pants without any prompting on my side recently.

One trick that works great is to kiss her on the round knob behind her ear. Spend a lot of time there, going gently then getting progressively harder. One woman told me she came just from this and another said "I'm so wet" then immediately took her pants and panties off while I was doing this.

I used to take Last Minute Resistance as anti slut defense, but now after a little more experience I'm starting to realize a lot of times the girls just weren't turned on enough yet.

backIntheGame91 · Tue Feb 28, 2017 5:16 am

Stoliar wrote:A variation of Jack's suggestion: get your hands flowing all over her body, not going straight to ass and/or breasts. When you kiss her, start with your hand on her ear, go down to her chin, her neck, her shoulder, brush the side of her breast, then down to her belly, her hips, her thighs, her knees, and get back up all the way to her ear. Going from ear to knee should just be a large caress of about 10 seconds. That way you have plausible deniability (you're not trying to fondle her breasts, your hand is just passing by) while she gets used to the contact of your fingers everywhere on her body.

Much appreciated Stoliar - I will give that a shot.

And Chi, I will try that as well. Always good to have more plays in the play book.

bobZZZ · Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:43 pm

JackZero wrote:
backIntheGame91 wrote:I've read about that before but don't really understand that. How would you go about turning it around on her so she feels like I'm the one resisting her?

"We should slow down," resist for a few moments and start back again.

yes i agree with Jack

What could I have done to close?