Took her number, asked her out...


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:25 am 
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OP you will probably run into her in the coffee shop or whatever again and u can feel out her vibe at that point.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:51 am 
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You can't "create" attraction, R.C. it's either there or not. Being fit and emotionally centered, you keep it. But you can certainly erode attraction by dumb texts and over-contact.

A clumsy "where can I pick you up?" On a date arrangement didn't help. It showed the OP is rusty with women.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:53 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
You can't "create" attraction, R.C. it's either there or not. Being fit and emotionally centered, you keep it. But you can certainly erode attraction by dumb texts and over-contact.

A clumsy "where can I pick you up?" On a date arrangement didn't help. It showed the OP is rusty with women.


This is not about attraction, it's about interest.

It takes attraction to give out a number. It takes interest to go on a date.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:25 pm 
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Same thing.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:52 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
You can't "create" attraction, R.C. it's either there or not. Being fit and emotionally centered, you keep it. But you can certainly erode attraction by dumb texts and over-contact.

A clumsy "where can I pick you up?" On a date arrangement didn't help. It showed the OP is rusty with women.
Attraction can be created. Scientifically it has been proven that the more time a person spends with someone the more attractive the two people become to one another even if there was no physical attraction at the start. Just as not being around someone, you can lose that attraction. Pick up uses interest to create attraction.

"Where can I pick you up?" may not be liked by one girl and appreciated by another. It is subjective. Just like immediately inviting a woman over without even knowing her is subjective. That's why the time you take before getting a woman's number is important. As I said earlier in the post, she has to want to give you her number because she wants to meet up. If she wants to meet up she will give you alternatives to "where can I pick you up at" or "I'm having drinks and watching Netflix later, you're invited" if she doesn't like either of those options. If the OP had a 20 or 30 minute instadate with this girl and flirted with her to lay the groundwork at the coffee shop when she was showing the actual interest in him she would have responded much more positively.

There's a reason that R.C and I pretty much said the same thing from the beginning. We saw the huge pothole in what happened to make things nearly impossible to work in the OP's favor with this girl. Even this notion that she'll be interested later is just wishful thinking because the OP forced her into outright telling him that she was not interested. Once a woman directly communicates disinterest, you may as well call it a wash. I totally agree with learning not to care about the outcome and believe that it helps improve results but I don't support self sabotaging your chances to prove it.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 2:26 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Same thing.


It is most certainly not.

Attraction is attraction.
Interest is wanting to act on it.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:58 pm 
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A high enough attraction level IS interest, lol.

If a single person won't act on it, the attraction level isn't that great.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:07 am 
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I'm at the cafe right now. She's alone sitting at the same table as she was last week.

I'm sure she saw me but she's not looking at me and even seems like she's trying to avoid turning my way to look at me.

I tried the feet movements to see if she mirrors my movements like last time, but nothing.

Any suggestions?


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:13 am 
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R.C wrote:
No one here offers any actual advice regarding 'seducing' (or lots of other things) in any specific manner.

Specific manner? Jack spoon fed the guy. I have an entire specific guide linked in my sig. We explained how getting a woman on a date works. Then he ignored it either way but how much more fucking specific does it need to get?

And what's your contribution to the topic besides the usual nihilism?


Jack had some good "after-the-fact" analysis that he provided. His suggestion about ass vs. legs compliments was about the only specified advice given (good bit, too).

On the flip side, your link doesn't say anything about 'flirting' but rather about texting or dating, which aren't directly related to 'flirting' in my mind (more like well, texting, or setting up dates, etc.). So update your sig to say it has more. Additionally, your smidge on flirting is completely vague, as expected. This guy is supposed to figure out then how to 'tease and/or challenge' the girl - but why would he be here if he could already figure this out himself?

So yeah, my contribution is to tell him to run away from here. And her. As will follow.


pprince wrote:
Sent her that right away. That was over 4 hours ago. No response.

She seemed really interested at the cafe. She even followed me outside to make it easy for me to pick her up!

I don't understand. What's going on?

Should I just delete her number at this point and forget about her, or try hitting her up again sometime in the future? If, yes, when and how?

Thanks


Forget about her. Stop contacting her. Stop thinking about her.

First of all, the initial attraction and level of interest were too weak. Sometimes its out of your hands - just accept it.

Secondly, you've made yourself out to be a desperate pussyhound with your text 'Arch Stanton' style. It was an easy attempt at a lay, it failed (odds of working were slim to nil), and now she likely thinks even less of you. That's OK, you didn't lose much anyway.

Thirdly, I'm curious about this first encounter you had with her. You said she followed you out of the cafe. Did she look at you when she exited the cafe? Did she attempt to make conversation first? Are you sure she wasn't just going out for a smoke (is she a smoker)? Are you accurately portraying that whole ordeal in the cafe the first time?

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:52 am 
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Autoregressive wrote:
R.C wrote:
No one here offers any actual advice regarding 'seducing' (or lots of other things) in any specific manner.

Specific manner? Jack spoon fed the guy. I have an entire specific guide linked in my sig. We explained how getting a woman on a date works. Then he ignored it either way but how much more fucking specific does it need to get?

And what's your contribution to the topic besides the usual nihilism?


Jack had some good "after-the-fact" analysis that he provided. His suggestion about ass vs. legs compliments was about the only specified advice given (good bit, too).

On the flip side, your link doesn't say anything about 'flirting' but rather about texting or dating, which aren't directly related to 'flirting' in my mind (more like well, texting, or setting up dates, etc.). So update your sig to say it has more. Additionally, your smidge on flirting is completely vague, as expected. This guy is supposed to figure out then how to 'tease and/or challenge' the girl - but why would he be here if he could already figure this out himself?

So yeah, my contribution is to tell him to run away from here. And her. As will follow.


pprince wrote:
Sent her that right away. That was over 4 hours ago. No response.

She seemed really interested at the cafe. She even followed me outside to make it easy for me to pick her up!

I don't understand. What's going on?

Should I just delete her number at this point and forget about her, or try hitting her up again sometime in the future? If, yes, when and how?

Thanks


Forget about her. Stop contacting her. Stop thinking about her.

First of all, the initial attraction and level of interest were too weak. Sometimes its out of your hands - just accept it.

Secondly, you've made yourself out to be a desperate pussyhound with your text 'Arch Stanton' style. It was an easy attempt at a lay, it failed (odds of working were slim to nil), and now she likely thinks even less of you. That's OK, you didn't lose much anyway.

Thirdly, I'm curious about this first encounter you had with her. You said she followed you out of the cafe. Did she look at you when she exited the cafe? Did she attempt to make conversation first? Are you sure she wasn't just going out for a smoke (is she a smoker)? Are you accurately portraying that whole ordeal in the cafe the first time?


She was giving me signals the whole time. I'm not blind. I could see it. And then as I previously said as soon as I jumped out of my chair and went outside, she followed me. I don't know whether she's a smoker, but I am a smoker and I didn't smoke when we were outside and neither did she. The interaction outside was as I said before really smooth with me saying things and her giggling and ultimately me getting her number and going back inside.

So, given all that, and what happened tonight at the same cafe, and everything in between, do you have any advice oe sughestions?


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 7:09 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
A high enough attraction level IS interest, lol.

That's simply not true. This topic is proof of that.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:47 am 
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When I said you should feel out her vibe when you see her at the cafe next I was under the assumption that you'd end up doing so by speaking to her.

Don't beat yourself up over your history with this girl. You took action to open and number close a hot girl...something that 99% of men would NEVER have the balls to do.

Even considering she immediately followed you out of the cafe which you sensed she did to be able to connect with you - a clear and unambiguous sign of amplified interest - not at all the same as a girl who happens to put herself in proximity or range for you to open her in a standard run of the mill situation. Yep, almost all guys would bitch out even after that. Pat yourself on the back, boss.

Your gut told you to immediately invite her out. SO fucking what that it didn't work. You tried something and you'll learn form it. Maybe you'll do the same exact thing if your gut tells you to do in the future - good! Do it! Fall on your face again or succeed spectacularly. Just don't follow a rigid, frigid textbook. This shit is art and science, not just science.

Now go more meet more women. Exchange info about each other that she can sink her teeth into so you're not just "the stranger from the street." That's something I missed from initially scanning your first interaction but which other multiple posters astutely pointed out later on. It's crucial to do this man - crucial!

She needs to know that not only do you have something going on for yourself but that you find something in her that is intriguing to follow up with her about beyond her looks - and that's why "verbally direct" approaches are usually so so shitty and low value in so many ways, but that's a topic for another time.

So that next time you walk into the cafe with a new girl you've met, you won't care about the reaction from this other one. It's precisely at that point that they often turn on a dime.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:10 am 
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OP informed me he drunk texted her inbetween the number close and the rejection.

It's been a problem for him before. But he''s working on it.

When you achieve a high level of fitness and take care of yourself, the direct verbal approach works great. Women arent dumb, they know what you want(sex). Fitness increases first night lays by 30-40% according to research.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:55 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
OP informed me he drunk texted her inbetween the number close and the rejection.


Is that true OP?

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:56 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
OP informed me he drunk texted her inbetween the number close and the rejection.

It's been a problem for him before. But he''s working on it.

When you achieve a high level of fitness and take care of yourself, the direct verbal approach works great. Women arent dumb, they know what you want(sex). Fitness increases first night lays by 30-40% according to research.


Actually, the drunk text was after the rejection.


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