Seemed like she was in love, but I screwed up. Need advice!!


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2016 7:18 pm 
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I'm 35 met a 28 year old girl that I really liked. I'm not a bar or club goer, so I meet women at work or online or through friends. I'm successful at Fuk closing after 2 dates but can't seem to keep anybody around more than a week or two! last time I was in a serious LTR was YEARS ago! the last dozens of girls I met and slept with didn't even interest me to think about LTR with them until I met this last one. I really wanted to go LTR and even marry her from the beginning, even though she wasn't the hottest girl I had been with:

My cousin introduced us. She didn't seem interested at first but we talked about intelectual things and by the end of the night she didn't want to leave me. She asked to hang out soon!

Next day I took her out on a date, had an amazing time and we kissed passionately. Made out for
hours.

The day after that took her out again and we had amazing sex after an amazing date.

The day after that she texted me a few times asking to see me. I was really tired so told her that I had to go to bed early because I was working the next day. She said ok but was a little upset.

The next day we saw each other and hooked up again.

The day after that she said she was going to a party ( i think shit test, but I initially passed) I said great since I was invited to a party myself. She texted me late that night asking if I was having fun at the party. I said I wished she was there. Later I called her and she offered to pick me up since I didnt want to drive while drunk.
She picked me up we came to my place and had sex again for the 3rd night in a row. She left later that night but never texted me when she got home. (as she normally would have done) I called her the next day, no answer. Called again after 2 hours, answered said was sleeping. I said I would go pick her up for lunch she said she couldn't. I insisted a bit but finally said ok. She said let's see each other at night. I said OK.

Up to this point every time we had to end our date she would beg me to stay more, seemed she was falling for me.

I felt she was getting cold and distance at this point so I panicked. Called my cousin, who had introduced us (she is her friend) and had him call her. She told him that we've been seeing each other every night and that may be too much and cause attraction to fade. She texted me that night saying that she was gonna hang out with friends (even though we were supposed to see each other) I said cool have fun, but then I panicked and called her a few times with no answer. I called my cousin asking to call her. And I think this made things worse. I went to bed and after a few hours woke up and saw her missed calls. She came to my place with my cousin and stayed a few hours. We had sex then she left. The next day no calls or texts. At night I called her she answered and said she would call me. No calls just texted me "what's up" with no "babe" or other pet names that she would normally use. I ignored that text and waited 2 days. After 2 days texted her "how are you babe" no response until the next day from her texting: "sorry been sick, sleeping. what's up?" no pet names or anything, totally cold.

Now, I think how I screwed up started when I abandoned the party I was at to see her, then having my cousin call her back and forth instead of communicating myself like a man. AND expressing too much interest and eagerness in seeing her and being with her.

Is there anything I can do at this point to salvage the situation? should I respond to her text? what should I do??? I know you pros will say it's oneitis, but I had not considered having LTR with anyone in over 10 years. And this one I really wanted LTR with. Please help!


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 5:54 pm 
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You seem completely panicked, calm down, you posted this message twice, I already answered you in the other topic you made here routines/she-seemed-really-into-but-what-vt200770.html

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:40 pm 
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Up to this point every time we had to end our date she would beg me to stay more, seemed she was falling for me.


Then you turned into a stage 5 clinger. To girls clingy guys are like wedgies, they just can't pull them out of their ass fast enough and they won’t care who’s looking!

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 10:07 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Quote:
Up to this point every time we had to end our date she would beg me to stay more, seemed she was falling for me.


Then you turned into a stage 5 clinger. To girls clingy guys are like wedgies, they just can't pull them out of their ass fast enough and they won’t care who’s looking!

Do you think there's anything I can do? I know I fucked up but I'm here to learn and possibly fix the situation. Any advice?


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 11:21 pm 
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pprince wrote:
I'm 35 met a 28 year old girl that I really liked. I'm not a bar or club goer, so I meet women at work or online or through friends. I'm successful at Fuk closing after 2 dates but can't seem to keep anybody around more than a week or two!


It's be cause you're emotionally-uncentered with women and needy as fuck. I skimmed over all of your post before typing this response, and it's one of the neediest things I've seen on this forum, and why girls run from you after physical interaction.

I don't care how good you are in bed, or how handsome. If you behave like this, you will never keep attractive women in your life.

Quote:
last time I was in a serious LTR was YEARS ago! the last dozens of girls I met and slept with didn't even interest me to think about LTR with them until I met this last one. I really wanted to go LTR and even marry her from the beginning, even though she wasn't the hottest girl I had been with


This is a pathetic mindset.

Quote:
She texted me late that night asking if I was having fun at the party. I said I wished she was there.


Girls don't like this kind of wussy behavior early on.

Quote:
Later I called her and she offered to pick me up since I didnt want to drive while drunk.
She picked me up we came to my place and had sex again for the 3rd night in a row. She left later that night but never texted me when she got home. (as she normally would have done)


Holy shit are you needy.

Quote:
I called her the next day, no answer. Called again after 2 hours, answered said was sleeping. I said I would go pick her up for lunch she said she couldn't. I insisted a bit but finally said ok. She said let's see each other at night. I said OK.


Wow. This is soooo needy.



Quote:
Up to this point every time we had to end our date she would beg me to stay more, seemed she was falling for me.


She was just fucking you, dude. Calm down! It's just sex. Act like you've been there before.


Quote:
I felt she was getting cold and distance at this point so I panicked. Called my cousin, who had introduced us (she is her friend) and had him call her.


This is insane, creepy behavior.

Quote:
I called my cousin asking to call her. And I think this made things worse.


Holy. Shit.

Quote:
No calls just texted me "what's up" with no "babe" or other pet names that she would normally use.


OMG.

Quote:
I ignored that text and waited 2 days. After 2 days texted her "how are you babe" no response until the next day from her texting: "sorry been sick, sleeping. what's up?" no pet names or anything, totally cold.


Yeah, no shit. You're creeping her out because you're not emotionally-centered with her.



Quote:
Is there anything I can do at this point to salvage the situation? should I respond to her text? what should I do??? I know you pros will say it's oneitis, but I had not considered having LTR with anyone in over 10 years. And this one I really wanted LTR with. Please help!


You need a "needy cleanse", but not for her, for YOU. Wait for her to contact you.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 11:50 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
pprince wrote:
I'm 35 met a 28 year old girl that I really liked. I'm not a bar or club goer, so I meet women at work or online or through friends. I'm successful at Fuk closing after 2 dates but can't seem to keep anybody around more than a week or two!


It's be cause you're emotionally-uncentered with women and needy as fuck. I skimmed over all of your post before typing this response, and it's one of the neediest things I've seen on this forum, and why girls run from you after physical interaction.

I don't care how good you are in bed, or how handsome. If you behave like this, you will never keep attractive women in your life.

Quote:
last time I was in a serious LTR was YEARS ago! the last dozens of girls I met and slept with didn't even interest me to think about LTR with them until I met this last one. I really wanted to go LTR and even marry her from the beginning, even though she wasn't the hottest girl I had been with


This is a pathetic mindset.

Quote:
She texted me late that night asking if I was having fun at the party. I said I wished she was there.


Girls don't like this kind of wussy behavior early on.

Quote:
Later I called her and she offered to pick me up since I didnt want to drive while drunk.
She picked me up we came to my place and had sex again for the 3rd night in a row. She left later that night but never texted me when she got home. (as she normally would have done)


Holy shit are you needy.

Quote:
I called her the next day, no answer. Called again after 2 hours, answered said was sleeping. I said I would go pick her up for lunch she said she couldn't. I insisted a bit but finally said ok. She said let's see each other at night. I said OK.


Wow. This is soooo needy.



Quote:
Up to this point every time we had to end our date she would beg me to stay more, seemed she was falling for me.


She was just fucking you, dude. Calm down! It's just sex. Act like you've been there before.


Quote:
I felt she was getting cold and distance at this point so I panicked. Called my cousin, who had introduced us (she is her friend) and had him call her.


This is insane, creepy behavior.

Quote:
I called my cousin asking to call her. And I think this made things worse.


Holy. Shit.

Quote:
No calls just texted me "what's up" with no "babe" or other pet names that she would normally use.


OMG.

Quote:
I ignored that text and waited 2 days. After 2 days texted her "how are you babe" no response until the next day from her texting: "sorry been sick, sleeping. what's up?" no pet names or anything, totally cold.


Yeah, no shit. You're creeping her out because you're not emotionally-centered with her.



Quote:
Is there anything I can do at this point to salvage the situation? should I respond to her text? what should I do??? I know you pros will say it's oneitis, but I had not considered having LTR with anyone in over 10 years. And this one I really wanted LTR with. Please help!


You need a "needy cleanse", but not for her, for YOU. Wait for her to contact you.


Hey man I really appreciate your insight. I already know I acted needy as fuck. That's an issue I have with girls I like. Can you give me a good source for the "needy cleanse"?

I replied to her "been sick" text with a funny video referencing a movie we had watched and asked her if she gets the reference. That was yesterday. Today she texted "too sick for tests, maybe later"

What should I do? Do I ignore the text? And when you say wait for her to cantact me, what kind of contact? Obviously this cold text doesn't qualify as contact, right? I really appreciate it if you could elaborate on that and what to do when and if she contacts.

Thank you. And I dig your username!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 12:43 am 
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pprince wrote:

Hey man I really appreciate your insight. I already know I acted needy as fuck. That's an issue I have with girls I like. Can you give me a good source for the "needy cleanse"?


A "needy cleanse" is my concept, so you're getting it right from the source.

All you have to do to perform one is not contact the girl you have been needy with for at least a week. Let women wonder about you. You smothered her.

Quote:
I replied to her "been sick" text with a funny video referencing a movie we had watched and asked her if she gets the reference. That was yesterday. Today she texted "too sick for tests, maybe later"


Why are you sending her videos and asking her questions? Texting is for setting dates. And right now, this woman thinks you might be crazy.

Quote:
What should I do? Do I ignore the text?


Why would you respond to that text by her? She responded a DAY LATER, and in a dismissive tone.




Quote:
Thank you. And I dig your username!


Ha, thanks. Glad you got the reference.

Note the key words in her text: "maybe later".

Look man, you've had sex with this girl a few times. So you have an advantage. But in order to win her back, you need to BACK AWAY. Do not contact her until she contacts you.

Can you do this, man? Because this isn't about HER. It's about improving YOU. So that women will no longer run from you after sex/texting.

You must display patience with women. You must wait them out. Sure, you can act like you do with 5's, and get plenty of women. But that's not what this is about. 8/9/10's will not tolerate this shit, as your track record has proven.

You must train yourself to not over-text and over-contact women. When you master this, you will keep all these women tht have been bailing on you (and after you've been this needy, it's easier to find and keep new women rather than fixing what you already fucked up).

Text new and newish women as if you're in bed with three hot women. Would this man repeatedly contact a girl, or ask her cousin to call her, or send lame videos?

No.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 1:33 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
pprince wrote:

Hey man I really appreciate your insight. I already know I acted needy as fuck. That's an issue I have with girls I like. Can you give me a good source for the "needy cleanse"?


A "needy cleanse" is my concept, so you're getting it right from the source.

All you have to do to perform one is not contact the girl you have been needy with for at least a week. Let women wonder about you. You smothered her.

Quote:
I replied to her "been sick" text with a funny video referencing a movie we had watched and asked her if she gets the reference. That was yesterday. Today she texted "too sick for tests, maybe later"


Why are you sending her videos and asking her questions? Texting is for setting dates. And right now, this woman thinks you might be crazy.

Quote:
What should I do? Do I ignore the text?


Why would you respond to that text by her? She responded a DAY LATER, and in a dismissive tone.




Quote:
Thank you. And I dig your username!


Ha, thanks. Glad you got the reference.

Note the key words in her text: "maybe later".

Look man, you've had sex with this girl a few times. So you have an advantage. But in order to win her back, you need to BACK AWAY. Do not contact her until she contacts you.

Can you do this, man? Because this isn't about HER. It's about improving YOU. So that women will no longer run from you after sex/texting.

You must display patience with women. You must wait them out. Sure, you can act like you do with 5's, and get plenty of women. But that's not what this is about. 8/9/10's will not tolerate this shit, as your track record has proven.

You must train yourself to not over-text and over-contact women. When you master this, you will keep all these women tht have been bailing on you (and after you've been this needy, it's easier to find and keep new women rather than fixing what you already fucked up).

Text new and newish women as if you're in bed with three hot women. Would this man repeatedly contact a girl, or ask her cousin to call her, or send lame videos?

No.


I'm sure I can control myself. I will not contact her. But when you say wait for her to contact me, what kind of contact are you talking about? If she texts for example "hey" or something similar what should I do? If you can elaborate on the kind of contact I should be awaiting and my appropriate response to such contact that would really help. In the meantime I'll be working on new girls and try to improve my game.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 1:46 am 
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pprince wrote:
I'm sure I can control myself. I will not contact her. But when you say wait for her to contact me, what kind of contact are you talking about? If she texts for example "hey" or something similar what should I do?


If she texts you, immediately set up a meet. Don't try to "win her over". Don't send her crap or inside jokes or thing that have "hidden meaning" between you two. From what you've described, this girl DOES NOT want a relationship right now. However, you do. But you need to pla ythe game, not guish al lover her so early. By remaining patient, fun, slightly aloof and good in bed, a woman will eventually bring up all the relationship stuff.

If she contacts you with "hey":

Her: Hey
You: Hey, what's up?

Then see where it goes. Example:

Her: Not much, just chilling.
You: Cool. I'm watching a movie at my place if you're down.

If she texts you "hey" after 11pm, she's down to fuck.

A girl who initiates contact is a good sign. Let her do it. Game other women in the meantime. Your clinginess is due to lack of abundance mentality.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 2:08 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
pprince wrote:
I'm sure I can control myself. I will not contact her. But when you say wait for her to contact me, what kind of contact are you talking about? If she texts for example "hey" or something similar what should I do?


If she texts you, immediately set up a meet. Don't try to "win her over". Don't send her crap or inside jokes or thing that have "hidden meaning" between you two. From what you've described, this girl DOES NOT want a relationship right now. However, you do. But you need to pla ythe game, not guish al lover her so early. By remaining patient, fun, slightly aloof and good in bed, a woman will eventually bring up all the relationship stuff.

If she contacts you with "hey":

Her: Hey
You: Hey, what's up?

Then see where it goes. Example:

Her: Not much, just chilling.
You: Cool. I'm watching a movie at my place if you're down.

If she texts you "hey" after 11pm, she's down to fuck.

A girl who initiates contact is a good sign. Let her do it. Game other women in the meantime. Your clinginess is due to lack of abundance mentality.


There's just one possibility that I've been considering might be the issue.

From the beginning my cousin told me that she was a little depressed and had been hurt in a relationship 3 or 4 years ago and was looking for a gentleman. Now, I on purpose started texting on my phone a couple of times in front of her to make her wonder. And the last time she came to my place she made a comment about the position of my bed, and I replied by saying that another friend of my cousin, a girl also, had made the same comments. My logic at the moment was to make her a little jealous. She did however stay that night longer than planned and we had sex even though she kinda didn't want it at first but I turned her on. The next day she turned completely cold.

Anyway based on this, what do you think the chances are that she thought I was a player and I just bang my cousin's friends and others and I don't give a shit about them an so on???

Could it be that she got cold becausr first she wanted boyfriend material but then thought I only wanted to fuck?

In that case is there a risk free or low risk methos for me to fimd out?

I even considered trying to talk to her and explain that. I am not going to do that, though.

Let me know what you think.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 2:40 am 
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pprince wrote:
From the beginning my cousin told me that she was a little depressed and had been hurt in a relationship 3 or 4 years ago and was looking for a gentleman. Now, I on purpose started texting on my phone a couple of times in front of her to make her wonder. And the last time she came to my place she made a comment about the position of my bed, and I replied by saying that another friend of my cousin, a girl also, had made the same comments. My logic at the moment was to make her a little jealous. She did however stay that night longer than planned and we had sex even though she kinda didn't want it at first but I turned her on. The next day she turned completely cold.

Anyway based on this, what do you think the chances are that she thought I was a player and I just bang my cousin's friends and others and I don't give a shit about them an so on???

Could it be that she got cold becausr first she wanted boyfriend material but then thought I only wanted to fuck?

In that case is there a risk free or low risk methos for me to fimd out?

I even considered trying to talk to her and explain that. I am not going to do that, though.

Let me know what you think.



I think it's complete bullshit. None of it maters.

If you follow the foundational principles of:

1. Fun.
2. Leadership/dominance/confidence.
3. Emotionally-centered (limit texting, contact to amounts needed for arranging meets only at the beginning, waiting women out)
4. Good in bed.
5. Fitness.

...you will have feminists, crazy girls, sane girls, born again girls, mormon girls, "just got out of a relatioship girls", WHATEVERTHEFUCK girls hitting you up to hang out.

I'm giving you very valuable advice. You CANNOT control women, and you never, ever will. All you can control is how you show up, everyday.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 3:33 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
pprince wrote:
From the beginning my cousin told me that she was a little depressed and had been hurt in a relationship 3 or 4 years ago and was looking for a gentleman. Now, I on purpose started texting on my phone a couple of times in front of her to make her wonder. And the last time she came to my place she made a comment about the position of my bed, and I replied by saying that another friend of my cousin, a girl also, had made the same comments. My logic at the moment was to make her a little jealous. She did however stay that night longer than planned and we had sex even though she kinda didn't want it at first but I turned her on. The next day she turned completely cold.

Anyway based on this, what do you think the chances are that she thought I was a player and I just bang my cousin's friends and others and I don't give a shit about them an so on???

Could it be that she got cold becausr first she wanted boyfriend material but then thought I only wanted to fuck?

In that case is there a risk free or low risk methos for me to fimd out?

I even considered trying to talk to her and explain that. I am not going to do that, though.

Let me know what you think.



I think it's complete bullshit. None of it maters.

If you follow the foundational principles of:

1. Fun.
2. Leadership/dominance/confidence.
3. Emotionally-centered (limit texting, contact to amounts needed for arranging meets only at the beginning, waiting women out)
4. Good in bed.
5. Fitness.

...you will have feminists, crazy girls, sane girls, born again girls, mormon girls, "just got out of a relatioship girls", WHATEVERTHEFUCK girls hitting you up to hang out.

I'm giving you very valuable advice. You CANNOT control women, and you never, ever will. All you can control is how you show up, everyday.



One more thing. The day after the 1st sex she almost begged to see me again. I was tired so turned her down. That made her crave me more.

Don't you think if she contacts me and I quickly say let's meet up, she might feel I'm desperate and she can have me any time therefore turn her off? Cause before the whole fuck up I was the one that always dictated the day and time. And I remember the 2, 3 dates how thankful she was that I would see her in my busy schedule.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 4:33 am 
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pprince wrote:
One more thing. The day after the 1st sex she almost begged to see me again. I was tired so turned her down. That made her crave me more.


Yep. Women aren't used to men who are a challenge. It turns them on.

Quote:
Don't you think if she contacts me and I quickly say let's meet up, she might feel I'm desperate and she can have me any time therefore turn her off? Cause before the whole fuck up I was the one that always dictated the day and time. And I remember the 2, 3 dates how thankful she was that I would see her in my busy schedule.


Usually, when a woman is the one to reach out, it means she's thinking about you and wants to see you. You have to assume that's the case and lead. If she says no, simply cease contact again until she reaches out.

However, in special cases, it might not be a bad idea to do this:

Her: Hey
You: Hey, what's up?
Her: Not much, just chilling.
You: Cool. I'm crazy slammed right now with career stuff, but I'll hit you back later, have a good one.


This puts the ball in your court and in some cases will help clear up neediness issues. But if she's contacting you (IE, not responding to a ping by you, she actually initiated contact out of the blue), it usually means she just wants to hang out.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 5:32 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
pprince wrote:
One more thing. The day after the 1st sex she almost begged to see me again. I was tired so turned her down. That made her crave me more.


Yep. Women aren't used to men who are a challenge. It turns them on.

Quote:
Don't you think if she contacts me and I quickly say let's meet up, she might feel I'm desperate and she can have me any time therefore turn her off? Cause before the whole fuck up I was the one that always dictated the day and time. And I remember the 2, 3 dates how thankful she was that I would see her in my busy schedule.


Usually, when a woman is the one to reach out, it means she's thinking about you and wants to see you. You have to assume that's the case and lead. If she says no, simply cease contact again until she reaches out.

However, in special cases, it might not be a bad idea to do this:

Her: Hey
You: Hey, what's up?
Her: Not much, just chilling.
You: Cool. I'm crazy slammed right now with career stuff, but I'll hit you back later, have a good one.


This puts the ball in your court and in some cases will help clear up neediness issues. But if she's contacting you (IE, not responding to a ping by you, she actually initiated contact out of the blue), it usually means she just wants to hang out.


And what she never contacts me again?
Should I contact her in the future? When and how? What should I say and when?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 6:09 am 
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Wait a month. If she does not contact you first, send her a cool photo, or something very chill. Don't ask how she is or anything that uses a question mark.

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