Eddie Fews wrote:
Just an FYI.. I only read the initial post not any of the follow up, so if i missed anything important, pardon me:
You don't like the girl..
You have a compulsive obsession and want to possess her because of what it will mean to your ego. Thats not like, thats not true attraction and thats not love. As you begin to push, they begin to pull. Just imagine stretching a rubber back, you can tug on it, and tug on it, but if you tugs on it too hard too soon eventually its going to pop. This is where you are. Right now the sign on the door says " pull " so pushing on it will NOT get it open. You can only break the door if you continue to push. Now maybe you'll pull on it and discover that it is locked, and then you'll have to decide to sit on your hands and wait until it changes, or just walk away and find a new store to enter. But the point is.. Pushing on a door that says pull will NEVER get it to open. Everything you're doing from calling your cousin to calling two times back to time is only going to magnify if the girl continued seeing you. The way she sees is " If he's doing this after having sex 4 times, what the hell is he going to do after 8 times? " Thats scary to think about. When you become this obsessed with someone whose entire existence can be a lie for all you know because you don't know shit about them yet.
Read this now: pua-lounge/topic190620.html
And then go and read the fourth post written by me on this page: approaching-and-opening/topic190187-15.html
I agree with you partially. Possessiveness is something I discovered about myself yesterday and since the beginning of this topic I have learned interesting things about mysrlf. I like this girl because certain characteristics in her are the ones that I always wanted in a partner. But like I said I also realized that my Possessiveness was blinding me and causing me to obsess over her. That has changed a little now.
I read those suggestions. I have to say I agree with most of the points made. I think I used to be alpha when I was in my twenties. The real reason I think I kind of lost that spirit is the fact that after I turned 30 I panicked. I panicked of lonliness, not finding the right person, etc.
It's really hard to get back into the minset I was in when I was in my twenties but I have to start working on it.
Finally what got me what I wanted (this particular girl) was ignoring advice from this site and a hundred other sites and doing what I wanted. I know from now on I have to do what I want, but at the same time I also know I have some issues I need to work on including neediness and attachment.