Help closing a girl with a BF


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 10:06 am 
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R.C wrote:
endouille wrote:
will it really be harder to get another lay out of her?

Not necessarily. It depends on multiple factors, but also you.

endouille wrote:
I always assumed the first time making her cheat would be hard and then since it happened once it would be easier to happen again.

You didn't make her cheat. You can't make people cheat. She chose to.


endouille wrote:
And another question what are the views on offering emotional support? Obviously I Know I should not offer 'BF comfort' but considering she says she has feelings for me etc could I not use that to my advantage for future lay attempts?


Look, it's simple. People cheat or start branching out when they're unhappy in their relationship, for the most part. They're looking for an escape or for better experiences. That's all you need offer.
You only need to be the cool guy, that doesn't bring stress to her life. Once you go down the road of emotional comfort she's bringing her problems into your "relationship". That also transfers over and creates drama to an otherwise clean slate. It will become draining and she won't associate you with the escape she's looking for, but with another burden. Her life will not get simpler with you, but more complicated. Nobody wants that.

Whether or not you'll lay her again is for you to find out. But understand that the more you try to take on the boyfriend role, the more you'll push her away. You didn't get with her by being an emotional tampon, you did it by being the exciting new perspective.


Brilliant advice.

So basically I should just give her space for a few days (im away so no point messaging her), let her BF fuck up or w.e and when im back suggest a fun meet up and try again.

(sorry if i sound stupid)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 11:23 am 
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endouille wrote:
So basically I should just give her space for a few days (im away so no point messaging her), let her BF fuck up or w.e and when im back suggest a fun meet up and try again.


Pretty much.

Point is to be light and fun. Brush her guilt aside if there's any, don't try to convince her otherwise. The aim is to stay grounded. It's no big deal, and if it's not to you she'll understand she doesn't need to be stressing out about it either.
But that's only if she brings anything up.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 7:29 am 
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She messaged me on Saturday asking for advice about her bf who didn't want to go out because of his PTSD and sent me Screenshots of his bitchfit essay (because she spent time with her mum instead of her) and then she asked me to be 'unbiased'. I followed RC's advice and didn't let her go too deep. Just told her what she sent to me was pathetic and that was me being unbiased. I told her I care about her but not her BF's issues and that this was a minor issue she had by choice. Sent her a pic of me sipping cocktails and told her "if your finished ruining my good vibes now I'm going back to my fun".

She apologised and said she wanted to see me when I was back.

Messaged her last night when I got home with a fun, jokey text and long story short seeing her this weekend.

RC's advice was golden (I would have actually listened to her issues etc on Sat)


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 11:42 am 
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Well done.

That last text was a bit strong but if she responded well to it that's fine.

Keep us posted.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 1:05 pm 
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R.C wrote:
Well done.

That last text was a bit strong but if she responded well to it that's fine.

Keep us posted.


Yeah she responded well and I didn't reply untill she double messaged me again a few hours later.

The messaging now has cooled off so im just going to call her Thursday to tell her (not ask) what we are doing this weekend.

Hopefully inbetween now and the weekend her boyfriend nags her all the way back into my bed :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 9:51 am 
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Guys again need advice because i'm in serious risk of overthinking and messing things up ...

Where can I invite her out to this weekend that will allow me to try and get the law? I'm not bothered taking another man's gf out and dinner etc is just non sexual... BUT I doubt she will agree to watch a movie at mine etc?


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 10:39 am 
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Drinks?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 11:02 am 
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R.C wrote:
Drinks?


That is somewhat of a last resort for me because I don't have too many bars near me so getting her back to my place would be difficult + (no judgement please) I don't want to get the lay by getting her drunk because again the buyers remorse will be worse and I will have ' taken advantage' or am I over thinking?


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 1:12 pm 
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Mate just go with drinks and get your dick wet!
Or take her out local and suggest a movie back at yours.

Do you drive? Any nice views to see? If so do that and take her in the back seat.

Like i said from now on fucking her will be harder because her guard will be up


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:01 pm 
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endouille wrote:
I don't want to get the lay because I am over thinking?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:05 pm 
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Well i think she just cancelled/ flaked :shock: :shock:

She's ill (legitimate i believe ) and said she was thinking of moving our plans till next week as she is not up for much and wanted to chill this Saturday.

I replied saying I'm busy next week and said that I 'am worried and want to make sure she's ok' so i can cook her a meal and just watch a movie.

Doubt she will say yes. But waiting and seeing.

If she says no I will just tell her to let me know when she's better and we will sort something out then. The time not talking might be useful as her bf can fuck things up again :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:35 pm 
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She already has a needy boyfriend so be cool.

If she replies yes then thats good. If she replies no DON'T REPLY AT ALL for a few days and when you do ignore the flake and just be fun, playful and try again.

And stop overthinking. It's no coincidence that when you started overthinking and being needy/ having the control escape you that she flakes.. You probably over messaged her and the novelty ran old


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 8:32 pm 
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endouille wrote:
I 'am worried and want to make sure she's ok'


Bad move.

How is this light and fun?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 10:07 pm 
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R.C wrote:
endouille wrote:
I 'am worried and want to make sure she's ok'


Bad move.

How is this light and fun?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 6:30 am 
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R.C wrote:
endouille wrote:
I 'am worried and want to make sure she's ok'


Bad move.

How is this light and fun?


Yeah I guess it isn't was aiming for it to offer comfort but see how it could have been a bad move. Will keep that in mind for next time.

Surprisingly she replied that that sounded good and she would like to come over to just chill so guess it worked :D

Really need to stop overthinking and creating issues before they arise... Hopefully Sunday I will be posting a lay report


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