First date went well, now a bit cold


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:59 pm 
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Hey, so I texted a girl for a week and we met up and it went very well, she text the next day saying she is interested in meeting again, I text back later to say I am interested in doing so too, and would speak to her soon. No text back from this but she did go to work and then straight out for new years party.

So I text her the next day to say how's the hangover etc, and she text back quickly twice that day. My last text was in response to her last one, saying for her to let me know when she's free (she works shifts)

Had no text back since, and this was yesterday.

The date was really good and she confirmed she's interested in meeting again herself, but it's gone slightly cold. What can I do to spark it again, before the good work of date 1 wears off? I haven't text her since the last one I sent due to no response from her, which was sent yesterday.

My own thoughts are to leave it till tomorrow or even the day after to re-ignite, completely off topic and ignoring the fact I haven't had a response. But not to leave it too long so that the first date memory is still a strength I can draw on. Any ideas on how to proceed would be welcome!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:04 pm 
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Were your texts, sexy, flirty, funny? Or boring?

When I text a girl and they don’t text me back right away, I automatically assume that they probably fainted from excitement.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:11 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Were your texts, sexy, flirty, funny? Or boring?

When I text a girl and they don’t text me back right away, I automatically assume that they probably fainted from excitement.


a bit boring in hindsight, but we have been a mixture of all those things so far, and she's usually responded.

are you suggesting I text her randomly tomorrow or the day after asking how she is after fainting from excitement? that might work :lol:

EDIT: at the same time I don't want to come across as needy by acknowledging the lack of response, and just want to move things forward from it towards securing the second date she said she was interested in.

my idea for the second date is quite relaxed, go for greek food in a mall we live close to, make it quite informal, and keep it ambiguous what happens after (idea is alcohol drinks and then who knows)


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:46 pm 
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So the good thing is that she texted you after the first date and was interrested to meet up again.
However you shouldve plan a definite date, time and place for your next venture. Instead you said to have her get back with you.

Like you said you dont want to appear needy so wait till she gets back with you. Dating is like tenis once you hit the ball over the net, you gotta wait till it comes back. Meaning once you have messaged her, wait till she gets back with you. If you keep sending her messages daily , youre not giving her the chance to miss you or wonder about you.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 10:14 pm 
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mondogecko wrote:
So the good thing is that she texted you after the first date and was interrested to meet up again.
However you shouldve plan a definite date, time and place for your next venture. Instead you said to have her get back with you.

Like you said you dont want to appear needy so wait till she gets back with you. Dating is like tenis once you hit the ball over the net, you gotta wait till it comes back. Meaning once you have messaged her, wait till she gets back with you. If you keep sending her messages daily , youre not giving her the chance to miss you or wonder about you.


thanks for the advice, you're right I guess I sometimes just keep thinking 'play it cool' and that means I don't get those things done straight away, but at least there's interest.

I last messaged on sunday, where all I said really was to check her shifts and let me know when she's free, which is what I did in setting up the first date.

i'm thinking of sending the following text on probably Wednesday, if I don't get a response by then

'daisy! hope you're not trapped in that sunbed, your (peach emoji) took enough punishment last week! let me know when you get out, I've had a good idea whilst daydreaming at work'

for context, she burnt her ass on a sunbed, and we use the peach emoji to refer to her ass.

I based this on a 'it's not your fault technique' I read about. and I've double texted before we met and it still happened so I don't really worry too much about doing it again, more the timing this time. I tried to leave it a bit mysterious at the end, can this be tweaked? should I be more specific?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 2:10 pm 
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Quote:
'daisy! hope you're not trapped in that sunbed, your (peach emoji) took enough punishment last week! let me know when you get out, I've had a good idea whilst daydreaming at work'


Right frame, go bolder.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 4:45 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Quote:
'daisy! hope you're not trapped in that sunbed, your (peach emoji) took enough punishment last week! let me know when you get out, I've had a good idea whilst daydreaming at work'


Right frame, go bolder.


how bold?

I'm gonna send tomorrow afternoon, how is this?

EDIT: 'Hey Daisy, so I guess you got trapped in that sunbed, hope you haven't burned your arse too much this time [peach emoji] ;) I know you want those tan lines back, but when you finally manage to escape, let me know, as I've just had a very interesting idea... x'


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 5:29 pm 
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tommy25 wrote:
[

'Hey Daisy, hope you're not trapped in that sunbed, wouldn't want you to burn your arse again like last time [peach emoji ] ;) let me know when you manage to escape, so many dirty thoughts today…you inspired them all ;)'


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 5:33 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
tommy25 wrote:
[

'Hey Daisy, hope you're not trapped in that sunbed, wouldn't want you to burn your arse again like last time [peach emoji ] ;) let me know when you manage to escape, so many dirty thoughts today…you inspired them all ;)'



hey, see my edit here:

'Hey Daisy, so I guess you got trapped in that sunbed, hope you haven't burned your arse too much this time [peach emoji] ;) I know you want those tan lines back, but when you finally manage to escape, let me know, as I've just had a very interesting idea... x'

I prefer this as I call her out on the no text but in a light hearted and funny manner, referencing the time she burned her arse. and I could always add that dirty thoughts bit in at the end?

thanks for the advice, never know how dirty to take it and how quickly?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:29 pm 
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"Let me know when you're free" doesn't literary call for a response. And its putting the duty on her. Its a very passive/feminine and unattractive way to ask a girl a girl out. It says " Im only interested if you're interested so let me know if you're interested". When what you need to be saying is " You're into me, I'm into to you, I don't want to wait, lets get together asap.".

" Whats your week looking like? Im trying to meet up. Your plans for after work tomorrow and Wednesday? "

Her " blah "

You: Alright I'll swing by and get you or you can meet me at xyz (if you drive) right after.. Hows that? "

Her" blah "

You: Alright.. I'll text you or call you tomorrow afternoon"

Her: Alright

-

Then you leave it and do as said..

Anyway.. Its one number and one girl.. It barely calls for you to be making a post about; you should be getting new women phone numbers left and right to make things happen. The more options you have the more attractive and easy going you'll come across.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 11:01 pm 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
"Let me know when you're free" doesn't literary call for a response. And its putting the duty on her. Its a very passive/feminine and unattractive way to ask a girl a girl out. It says " Im only interested if you're interested so let me know if you're interested". When what you need to be saying is " You're into me, I'm into to you, I don't want to wait, lets get together asap.".

" Whats your week looking like? Im trying to meet up. Your plans for after work tomorrow and Wednesday? "

Her " blah "

You: Alright I'll swing by and get you or you can meet me at xyz (if you drive) right after.. Hows that? "

Her" blah "

You: Alright.. I'll text you or call you tomorrow afternoon"

Her: Alright

-

Then you leave it and do as said..

Anyway.. Its one number and one girl.. It barely calls for you to be making a post about; you should be getting new women phone numbers left and right to make things happen. The more options you have the more attractive and easy going you'll come across.


I agree man, I've already formulated the two texts i'll send tomorrow

first one is like I put up there, teases her about not responding by being trapped in a sunbed burning her arse again, and that I had a very interesting thought inspired by her

once she responds, the second text will expand on that thought and paint a picture of being in her favourite place on holiday/vacation, and how we will recreate that on Friday or Saturday night by going for food from that country (greek) as she said before she loves it. I said Friday or Saturday night, i'll pick you up. gives her less room to say no as she can choose the preferred night, and I've already arranged her travel so less to think about there. saying on a Wednesday for fri or sat seems logical, as it is close enough but not too close to pressure her, and not so far away that she can say maybe.

i'm sending these tomorrow and will feed back on results!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 12:28 am 
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tommy25 wrote:
Eddie Fews wrote:
"Let me know when you're free" doesn't literary call for a response. And its putting the duty on her. Its a very passive/feminine and unattractive way to ask a girl a girl out. It says " Im only interested if you're interested so let me know if you're interested". When what you need to be saying is " You're into me, I'm into to you, I don't want to wait, lets get together asap.".

" Whats your week looking like? Im trying to meet up. Your plans for after work tomorrow and Wednesday? "

Her " blah "

You: Alright I'll swing by and get you or you can meet me at xyz (if you drive) right after.. Hows that? "

Her" blah "

You: Alright.. I'll text you or call you tomorrow afternoon"

Her: Alright

-

Then you leave it and do as said..

Anyway.. Its one number and one girl.. It barely calls for you to be making a post about; you should be getting new women phone numbers left and right to make things happen. The more options you have the more attractive and easy going you'll come across.


I agree man, I've already formulated the two texts i'll send tomorrow

first one is like I put up there, teases her about not responding by being trapped in a sunbed burning her arse again, and that I had a very interesting thought inspired by her

once she responds, the second text will expand on that thought and paint a picture of being in her favourite place on holiday/vacation, and how we will recreate that on Friday or Saturday night by going for food from that country (greek) as she said before she loves it. I said Friday or Saturday night, i'll pick you up. gives her less room to say no as she can choose the preferred night, and I've already arranged her travel so less to think about there. saying on a Wednesday for fri or sat seems logical, as it is close enough but not too close to pressure her, and not so far away that she can say maybe.

i'm sending these tomorrow and will feed back on results!


Sounds like way too much effort for something so simple.. Why.. man.. Just why. Stop googling shit and be yourself.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:23 am 
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tommy25 wrote:
I agree man, I've already formulated the two texts i'll send tomorrow

first one is like I put up there, teases her about not responding by being trapped in a sunbed burning her arse again, and that I had a very interesting thought inspired by her

once she responds, the second text will expand on that thought and paint a picture of being in her favourite place on holiday/vacation, and how we will recreate that on Friday or Saturday night by going for food from that country (greek) as she said before she loves it. I said Friday or Saturday night, i'll pick you up. gives her less room to say no as she can choose the preferred night, and I've already arranged her travel so less to think about there. saying on a Wednesday for fri or sat seems logical, as it is close enough but not too close to pressure her, and not so far away that she can say maybe.

i'm sending these tomorrow and will feed back on results!



What the fuck is this shit?

You: "Hey, I'm celebrating fun news at Bar X, 10 pm tomorrow night. You're welcome to join"

Your texts reek of neediness and putting her on a pedestal. You're acting like a man who is planning a one year anniversary date.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 8:27 pm 
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UPDATE:

I didn't get chance to read all your thoughts on the second text before sending it and in hindsight you guys were right as she didn't reply! however, I sent another text today as a last resort saying 'I assume you fainted in excitement, so is Friday or Saturday best?' and she replied back 'I can do drinks Friday, hows that?'

so my second text was a fail but I rescued it, just! now I need to seriously up my game on this second date and from now on when texting, as I was pretty close to blowing it. I am only here on persistence, though the last date was good so that counts in my favour too. she is hard work though!

thanks for all advice


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 9:03 pm 
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tommy25 wrote:
UPDATE:

I didn't get chance to read all your thoughts on the second text before sending it and in hindsight you guys were right as she didn't reply! however, I sent another text today as a last resort saying 'I assume you fainted in excitement, so is Friday or Saturday best?' and she replied back 'I can do drinks Friday, hows that?'

so my second text was a fail but I rescued it, just! now I need to seriously up my game on this second date and from now on when texting, as I was pretty close to blowing it. I am only here on persistence, though the last date was good so that counts in my favour too. she is hard work though!

thanks for all advice



The good of the last date had nothing to do with this date. You must consistently be displaying yourself as someone worth following. Theres no, "but i was great a week ago" when its all said and done. Its all about what you can do today.

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