Dated her 1 month, she dumped me twice in 1 day!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:56 am 
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She's my cousin's friend. We were introduced to each other. Instantly there was passion. Next day we went out on a date. Extremely good. Made out passionately for hours! The night after that another date and fuk closed.

Fucked her real good with multiple orgasms 2 to 3 nights a week for a month. Although a week into this she gave me the ljbf speech over a text after I acted a little needy. I fixed that and fucked her again.

Until a week ago. We fucked again. Went to sleep. Next morning out for breakfast. On the way she tells me she's supposed to see her guy friend. I play it cool and say it's ok. She then says she doesnt want to see him and he keeps texting him. She asks me what excuse to give him to get rid of him. Instead of beimg a man and leading her I try to play it cool and say that it's up to her and it's ok for her to go see him.

She exchanges a few texts then doesn't talk to me for the next hour or so. Cold and distant. We go back to my place and she's still distant. Lays on the bed and seems crying. Doesn't talk to me doesn't answer to me trying to find out what's wrong. Doesn't let me touch her. Nothing!

Tells me to leave her alone several times. I'm still trying to talk and touch. Finally she gets up and says we have to break up. I'm stunned. So I leave her. She calls me in half an hour crying. So I go back. We talk and everything seems ok. We have sex and cuddle and everything is good. At night after she plays with her phone, she tells me that we're done and breaks up with me again!!!

I say it's ok and then when she tries to leave, I tell her that I'm not ok with the break up and that I really like her and other shit.

She tries to leave but I refuse to let her go (terrible move I know...)

So finally when she's leaving I call her a skank and she leaves.

After 5 days or so I texted her "hey im sorry for what I said to you, i was drunk" (and i was drunk that night) no response from her.

Before I sent this apology text someone had told me to wait 10 days before contacting her but I didn't.

Anyway I'm super confused as to how the whole thing happened. Before thia she would always want to see me and was happy when I asked her to hang out. Sex was awesome and we had fun.

Anyway, I know I fucked up by being needy and I know it's a bad case of oneitis but is there anything I can do at this point? Should I ever contact her again? What if she responds to my apology text later? Or if she ever contacts me again? What would be the best thing to do in any of those situations?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 1:39 pm 
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You broke up twice in one month and yet your first thoughts are about ways to save this?

Really man? really?

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 6:54 pm 
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R.C wrote:
You broke up twice in one month and yet your first thoughts are about ways to save this?

Really man? really?


She's different.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 8:49 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
R.C wrote:
You broke up twice in one month and yet your first thoughts are about ways to save this?

Really man? really?


She's different.


Ok I get the sarcasm. But honestly man in the past 15 years or so I've dated dozens of women. Bedded all of them. But in 15 years she was the second girl that I really liked. She had everything I want in a girl. That only happened to me once before this last one. That was about 15 years ago. I dumped all those other women that I dated during that time.

Is that something that is considered impossible in the PUA community?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:12 pm 
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Quote:
She's my cousin


Start by branching out.

Seriously tho, it's not her, it's your bruised ego. You fell for her, so you started dumping bucket loads of needy on her, it didn't work, so now she's gone.

The only hope you have is not giving a fuck.

Quote:
Is that something that is considered impossible in the PUA community?


Oneitis is about as common as it gets.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:58 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Quote:
She's my cousin


Start by branching out.

Seriously tho, it's not her, it's your bruised ego. You fell for her, so you started dumping bucket loads of needy on her, it didn't work, so now she's gone.

The only hope you have is not giving a fuck.

Quote:
Is that something that is considered impossible in the PUA community?


Oneitis is about as common as it gets.


I know it's called oneitis in the community, but like I said out of dozens of women in the past 15 years or so I only liked 2 girls so much that I developed this oneitis for!

My question (however pathetic) to you is: is there anything I can do about this one at this point? Should I ever contact her and if yes how?
What should I do in case she contacts me?

Thanks.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:03 pm 
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Stop drinking, bro. It's fucking up your game and making your neediness worse.

When women yo-yo like this, it's because they're attracted to you, then you say something or act in a way to turn them off, then you attract them again, then off, etc.

Back off for a bit and fuck other women. She might come around. It sounds like an ex bf might be in the picture too. Show the restraint you failed to before.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:08 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Stop drinking, bro. It's fucking up your game and making your neediness worse.

When women yo-yo like this, it's because they're attracted to you, then you say something or act in a way to turn them off, then you attract them again, then off, etc.

Back off for a bit and fuck other women. She might come around. It sounds like an ex bf might be in the picture too. Show the restraint you failed to before.


Thanks Arch, I'll do that. Last night I texted her an apology for calling her a skank (I regret sending the text already), blaming it on being drunk. No response. How do I handle a potential response from her?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:18 pm 
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Depends on how she responds. Women get over things pretty fast.

If she makes up an excuse to see you, hide your booze and escalate like always.

If she texts something fun and fluffy, respond in kind.

If she responds angrily or upset, own your shit like a man, don't use excuses and get to the point:

"I fucked up. And saying I was drunk was a cop out. I have fun and important career stuff the next few days....talk to you soon"

1. Own your shit immediately. 2. Show you have a life and some indifference. 3. Put the ball back in your court and show you lack neediness by ending the conversation first.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:23 pm 
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Stop, man! Just stop! She dumped you and you want to roll over and show her your belly. The only time you should be thinking about the two of you together again is when she is begging you to take her back. The more you want her back the more likely you won't get her back. Go about your life and put yourself first.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:26 pm 
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Jack -

He has shown a track record of repeatedly getting her back, lol. They have some passion thing going, but he just keeps becoming so emotionally-uncentered he fucks it up every time.

That's why I keep helping him. Dude might be a destroyer if he can get his emotions in check.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:22 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Jack -

He has shown a track record of repeatedly getting her back, lol. They have some passion thing going, but he just keeps becoming so emotionally-uncentered he fucks it up every time.

That's why I keep helping him. Dude might be a destroyer if he can get his emotions in check.


Lol! You're awesome man! Not to brag but I'm 100 fucking percent sure if I see her I can easily take her to bed! The issue as you said is my emotional instability that fucks things up!

One last question: Do I ever contact hher if she doesnt? If yes, how and what to say?

I really hope she contacts me again.

Thanks Arch.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:59 am 
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Arch I don't agree with you encouraging the guy, but I find it funny how he ignores all the sensible advice and goes for yours just because it's what he wants to hear.
Not that you're not offering him quality, but you know as well as I do that this scenario will only turn around and bite him in the ass even harder.
This woman is firmly planted atop his pedestal.

OP: If you've only met TWO women you liked in FIFTEEN years, you're doing something terribly wrong. Trust me, that's on you. Do you purposely hang out in the worst bars in town or what?
And again, you should let this go. This amount of drama for something that can't even be called a relationship is ridiculous.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:24 pm 
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R.C wrote:
Arch I don't agree with you encouraging the guy, but I find it funny how he ignores all the sensible advice and goes for yours just because it's what he wants to hear.
Not that you're not offering him quality, but you know as well as I do that this scenario will only turn around and bite him in the ass even harder.
This woman is firmly planted atop his pedestal.

OP: If you've only met TWO women you liked in FIFTEEN years, you're doing something terribly wrong. Trust me, that's on you. Do you purposely hang out in the worst bars in town or what?
And again, you should let this go. This amount of drama for something that can't even be called a relationship is ridiculous.


It's true that I've put her on a pedestal, and I think that's how I fucked things up. In the beginning she couldn't get enough of me but I became emotionally weak and things went sideways.

When I say this is the second girl I've liked in 15 years I mean that she is the 2nd girl that I actually considered having a relationship with. There were woman that I fucked and I liked only to have sex with. But after a few dates I felt that I actually wanted this one to be my girlfriend. And maybe that's also a reason I treated her extra nice and ultimately killed her attraction for me.

There's a reason I've developed "oneitis" for this one. She literally has every single thing I want in a girlfriend. And I mean that. Like I said I've been with women so I'm not a complete loser! Just a loser with this one cause I liked her so much that caused me to treat her diffetently!

I was able to fix my previous fuck ups and neediness with her multiple times because she didn't know that I like her so much. Now, though it's a different story. She knows I'm full of shit this time! She didn't even respond to my apology text for calling her a skank!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:15 pm 
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pprince wrote:
There's a reason I've developed "oneitis" for this one. She literally has every single thing I want in a girlfriend. And I mean that. Like I said I've been with women so I'm not a complete loser! Just a loser with this one cause I liked her so much that caused me to treat her diffetently!


I know that's what you want to believe OP, but the reason you developed oneitis is because you were prone to it. You just needed the 'right' incentive.
She's not special. Maybe she's a better match for you, sure, but like I said if you only found two of those in 15 that's not a society problem. It's a you problem.

I'm a fucking capricious bastard and believe me there's no shortage of amazing women out there. Yet if I were to spend the next 10 years in "high-end" clubs fucking various partygirls, chances are I won't come out of it with much of what I consider girlfriend material.

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