I Cannot, Must Not F##k This Up...



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 6:08 am 
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Been a little while since I posted on here.

My situation right now:
I am dating a good girl; pretty, fit, very intelligent. I cannot connect with her though. I do not feel anything for her on an emotional, relationship level. I have tried to force myself but cannot do it. General conversation, sex, our values, the way we do things...I cannot connect with any of it.

Recently, I met some new girl through friends. She is beautiful; fit as f##k, pretty as f##k. We talk so easily and so much. I am on the phone to her for hours every night, and we message all f##king day. She came and stayed at my house for a night. We hit it off like crazy.

Now, new girl, she is telling me she is falling for me because we connect so well and our situations are so similar [both full-time parents]. I am so into this girl. She is amazing. However, the past day or so she has grown cold because she said she not sure if she should pursue anything with me because I have a girlfriend. I am close to ending it with my current girlfriend because I want a relationship with this new girl so bad.

The new girl has now literally told me "I am falling for you but you are with someone, so I am going to leave you to that, and maybe one day we can pursue something."

What the f##k is that? I almost want to tell her I am leaving my girlfriend straight away but I think this would seem beta and the new girl would still not pursue me anymore.

I want this new girl. Very much. I want her by my side. How do I re-secure her?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:16 am 
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What's keeping you from breaking up with your current girlfriend? Did she save your life or she owe you money and won't pay if you break it off?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:19 am 
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JackZero wrote:
What's keeping you from breaking up with your current girlfriend? Did she save your life or she owe you money and won't pay if you break it off?


No. I plan to. At the same time I don't think new girl will just be with me because I broke it off with the girlfriend. I don't want to seem beta that I like new girl so much that I broke up with the girlfriend just for her.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:32 am 
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War_Machine wrote:
JackZero wrote:
What's keeping you from breaking up with your current girlfriend? Did she save your life or she owe you money and won't pay if you break it off?


No. I plan to. At the same time I don't think new girl will just be with me because I broke it off with the girlfriend. I don't want to seem beta that I like new girl so much that I broke up with the girlfriend just for her.
Right now you're your own worst enemy. Get rid of your girlfriend and don't worry about making the new girl your girlfriend. Just hang out with her and let things happen naturally.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:35 am 
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JackZero wrote:
War_Machine wrote:
JackZero wrote:
What's keeping you from breaking up with your current girlfriend? Did she save your life or she owe you money and won't pay if you break it off?


No. I plan to. At the same time I don't think new girl will just be with me because I broke it off with the girlfriend. I don't want to seem beta that I like new girl so much that I broke up with the girlfriend just for her.
Right now you're your own worst enemy. Get rid of your girlfriend and don't worry about making the new girl your girlfriend. Just hang out with her and let things happen naturally.


Ok. Can you help me with this one?

Tonight I will break up with girlfriend. Should I text new girl this?
"Hey. I just want to let you know that I ended with my girlfriend. This wasn't because of you. I had to do this for me. I hope you had a good night x"


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:39 am 
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War_Machine wrote:
Tonight I will break up with girlfriend. Should I text new girl this?
"Hey. I just want to let you know that I ended with my girlfriend. This wasn't because of you. I had to do this for me. I hope you had a good night x"
No. You break up with your girlfriend. Once you do that, you just invite the other girl over. If she mentions that you have a girlfriend, tell her you guys broke up. Don't explain why...there's no need for that.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:57 pm 
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JackZero wrote:
No. You break up with your girlfriend. Once you do that, you just invite the other girl over. If she mentions that you have a girlfriend, tell her you guys broke up. Don't explain why...there's no need for that.


This. The only behavior that screams "beta" in this thread is monkey branching. Break up with your girlfriend, then invite the other girl over. Not the other way around.
I have nothing else to add over what Jack said.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 4:15 am 
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Well you were right about being concerned about coming off as beta if you dump girl A and then tell girl B "Okay, im available for you now, please take me." However, you still need to get rid of girl A, so you need a way to do that without B thinking it was just so you could get with her.

My suggestion is to make up some story about a bad fight or her stealing your money and go to B as though you just need to vent or need a confidant. Naturally, the breakup will seem inevitable and B will then hook up with you but not think it was only because of her.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:00 am 
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The way i see it, you need to break up with girl A regardless because if you have such a poor connection with her, you are wasting your own time. Girl B will hopefully be a positive by-product of your own move to not settle for less when you don't have to.


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