| Basically I like the concept from the TV show. It is a beautiful thought that the people interact with all make me into the person that is ready/worth becoming a father/husband. This is more of an introduction/declaration for my own benefit as I want to use this as a accountability journal.
Background
I have been in the community before and in some respects I have never left because it is always in my mind when I come from a night home alone, when I take shit from a girl who is only so/so. Basically some aspect of this does need to be conquered and incorporated in my life.
When I first joined I went through so much fear and apprehension. I found it so hard to do my first few sets but I did it. I was not immense although I was always getting a couple of cheeky kisses or numbers. The issue was they were not the kind of girl who I was thrilled to be with or they did not return a text. The girls I really liked tended to be in sets and I would lose them as I could not isolate or befriend the group enough. I had such simple game that it is not surprising because I was more balls than knowledge.
I then descended into quite a low period of life so I did not use my mind to think myself out of it. I had graduated from being a student and was feeling the gap in my social life as sarging was not enough for me. My job was horrendous as my boss who I shared a office with was emotionally volatile e.g threats of violence, coming after me and blaming me for things when I was not even around. My family was in turmoil with 2 members who always drag the energy from my soul. I was in love/lust with a girl who was going hot and cold with me, basically I was a orbitter she just used for attention. Every area of my life there was pressure and I felt myself crumbling. If it was just one or a couple of things I could have handled it. Instead I turned into a zombie going through the motions. I had never realised before that you can feel non physical pain. A feeling of hopelessness as I did not know what to do. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. I too up pickup as the wave was developing so instead of focusing on myself I seemed to focus on the negative aspects of life.
I decided to find some wings to help with above and I wanted some mates for the journey, as the brotherhood you see in Superbad, wedding crashers and the Book the Game is so appealing. I advertised for guys and said it would be cool to do a footy team as I wanted normal horny friends. The term AFC, average frustrated chump, is meant to depict most guys outside of pickup. I found that the majority of people were more frustrated than the average guy. Something to do with technically being a PUA but not doing a lot just builds frustration. Right from the start I was approaching more than 95% of the guys. I used to wake up the day after a sarging session to a feeling of being proud of myself. It did not matter that I did not have a notch on the bed post, I hold a notch in the self respect. One of the guys recommended inner game which to be honest I think she banned from this sort of websites. If you have issues speak to a doctor, read a book or follow a process that builds character, e.g seven habits of highly effective people. I wasted a load of money and I stopped approaching as in my head I was still in the game if I was going home to work on my inner game even though it did not involve talking to woman. To be honest me staying in + keyboard + privacy = masturbation and guilt. It was fricken useless. I just feel it a negative side of game like signing up members of a gym who will not work out. All I ever did then was pickup up the non approaching habits and above average frustration of the guys who dominated the community. I think most guys would have been better investing time/money into alternative self help like men’s health/gyms/fashion and then going speed dating/online.
Basically I am seeing I do not want to be part of the community, as it is not a community. A community functions with each member contributing to the good of society. In pickup there are some genuine players and a shit load of guys who buy products and get frustrated with themselves, then blame the system.
I started with one book, the mystery method. If I had just had balls, not let life get me down and kept on with it I would be in such a better place.
I do not blame pickup it is just became a symptom and cause for negative emotions in my life. The main causes:
Work – should have quit. I stayed at a job I hate because it was a graduate job and that it was professionals/good sons do.
Family – limited exposure to negative ones and create barriers.
Friends – joined some clubs and I would have been signed. 12 hour work days and depression just leads to cycles of negativity.
Oneitis – should have told her way to go. I have treated her as the Rachael to my Ross for too long. I have changed my number just so she stays out of my life. She has taken the piss too much and does not know what she wants.
I am a 28 year old man. I have a mild weight problem 15 stone, although lost half a stone recently. I should be married with a house right now instead I am single and living with my parents. I am still a graduate and my career is pretty much at a dead end. The knock to my confidents has stopped me becoming a property developer and my dream is to work for myself, to be an entrepreneur.
In conclusion
I wish to use pickup, general self help and whatever specific abilities that may be required to develop myself into the person that I as meant to be. I just feel that not only should I be more but also that I live a disconnected life as I do not want to feel as I scared to be crushed. This is the first step in a journey that I took at the wrong time in my life to become the mature, rounded person that I was supposed to be.
Value Building
As I am not aware of the value building theory of this website or there affiliate products I will use a competitor’s view on value building. This is a rough general draft and will be expanded up then with periodic goals/deadlines.
1. Health/Appearance
My ideal body shape is Daniel Craig in James Bond. I would like a six pack although I much prefer the big shoulder and large although functional muscle. I know I could get a quick win with fashion/style but I miss my old body. I am training for a half marathon at the moment so I want concentrate on that and the correct diet. The half marathon is at the end of September so I have 2 and bit months to train. I am planning to get to 13.5 stone which is my weight last year. I stopped going to the gym and my weight just exploded. Basically I want to slim down to take the unproductive weight off me and then bulk back up. After the marathon I would like to learn to box and then go straight onto bulking up. It a bit up my own ass but I enjoy checking myself out and currently I look like a over the hill Harry Potter.
2. Challenges
The proudest moments tend to be when I push myself in any aspect of my life so there are obviously going to be some health ones. Hopefully I can create some social challenges in regards to game. There are work challenges. There are entertainment challenges which for me are completing computer games. There are lifestyle development challenges like the seven habits. There are financial challenges which for me is the steps to giving up my job and working for myself (I got a £538.80 pay rise on my annual salary and all I felt was disappointment for still working for someone else)
3. Humour
I LOVE humour. I know when I started off I was no Casonova but I made some many girls laugh. Most of my sets were me regurgitating stand up routines. Making people feel good makes me happy. I think it is such a gift from god to be able to laugh. I hated game when I tried to only do routines and not put my own spin on it. I would love to put time into becoming funnier, going on dates/social outing that involve stand up and just making people laugh.
4. Social Intelligence
I really enjoy people’s company and I have spent far too much time in on the evening. I think we all spend too much time watching other people live their life and we have lost the art of communication. I cannot have social intelligence watching a PUA guru 10 hours a week. I need to be out with friends and sarging.
5. Passion
In the new SPAM, he is left in a situation by Bane where he uses hope and failure as it is the best way to torture. I think I turned off my passion years ago when I was sick off all the missed targets and broken promises to myself. I would like to be able to express myself so much more. E.G at my Granddad’s funeral I was so emotionally withdrawn I could not give my sister a hug when she cried next to me in the service. It still haunts me know as I just try to avoid putting my heart into anything.
6. Pre-Selection
I like being eye-fucked, although do not open when see it. I like when girls are affectionate. Basically it time to man up and get pre-selection from girls I want sexually and girls I like in my company.
7. Status
The only status I care about people respecting me for would be to be a entrepreneur property investor. The rest of the status are secoundary and less aligned to my principal/character.
8. Wealth
I have been a saver so many years. I do not want lots of liquid cash because I have a dead end job and think they could fire me for a idiotic reason. Wealth to me is the definition, if I remember correctly, from Rich Dad Poor Dad which is when your passive income exceeds your expenditure.
I want a wealth so I have a fuck you plan if someone I work with takes the mick and so I can only work if want to. Too many people do a job that s not aligned with your principal. I do not enjoy spending my hard earned money enough. I should have a wealth building scheme which allows for me to enjoy some things that may make me passionate.
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