Purpose in Life


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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 2:25 pm 
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Gesture wrote:
What maybe helps is to watch some motivational speaking. I think Nick Vujicic is great to watch. He has some seriously great stuff there amd you can learn a lot about it


Thanks guys! I'll make an effort to see life from another perspective.

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 4:07 pm 
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At 58, I'll chime in with the other posts and confirm that at 23, you're barely out of the starting block. I've often heard "Life is short," but in reality, life is quite long, with many opportunities to write and rewrite your life's narrative along the way.

I was going to be a musician and then a Psychologist, and after much time, education, and money, abandoned both by age 23. And that was just the beginning. For most of us, our 20s are a wreck, just trying to get some kind of footing in life. It's in your 30s that you start to get an inkling of who you want to become. Your 40s is where you get some serious traction and in your 50s, you basically blossom into whatever larger expression you're going to be. Then in your 60s+, you give back to those coming up behind you.

Sometimes, just sitting on your hands when you don't otherwise know what to do is good advice, although hard to take. We often just want to busy ourselves with dead-end leftover commitments with jobs/relationships/educational paths/etc, rather than face that uncertain space. Better to let your mind and body wander, being open to what moves you. Your brain won't let you vacillate forever; a new interest will arise and your juices will start to flow for the next chapter. For more, I recommend "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida.

So to your dilemma about purpose, while "setting goals," "making a plan," and "being disciplined," are admirable, we're typically lousy at really knowing what we want when staring out from an uncertain place. Instead, establishing a "process of discovery" may be more beneficial initially, and knowing what flavor of "shit sandwich" you want to eat (markmanson.net/life-purpose, markmanson.net/passion, and markmanson.net/find-what-you-love).

And this kind of advice goes right along with "the Game." We tell would-be Venusian Artists to release the outcome and just get "out there" and practice game constantly. It's in the process the answer will come. Same in life.

Good luck, man.


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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 4:38 pm 
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Yes. You need to find what you enjoy doing and living. It will help you realize and cultivate your identity which will help you with confidence and to lead a fulfilled life. And the by-product of doing this will be happiness, self-worth, success, and having quality people drawn to you, including women.

----
This happens to a lot of guys - especially athletes. Their sport becomes their life - their identity - and when it ends they feel lost. I advise you develop hobbies. It can be as simple as writing, going to the beach, photography, whatever you enjoy. Be honest with yourself and do what you want to do, learn about the hobby and enjoy! Also, spend some time with people who also partake in the hobby - you'll enjoy it, meet new people and will grow and expand as a person.


Personally, I haven't but I have worked with a few athletes. One played baseball his entire life and when his career ended he worked for his family's company and seeked me out. Dude was pretty lost. He felt worthless because everything he did the majority of his life (and was recognized for) was now over and he was lost.

It's like he had to learn how to be a regular guy again. Despite the fact he was a cool guy with good social skills he didn't know how to be himself (aside from play baseball) and I had to teach him what I had mentioned. In the matter of a few months he discovered numerous hobbies (it's funny because he started reading for enjoyment A LOT - something he says he never did), met new people, and started dating women he had never dated before.[/quote]

I see. So picking up hobbies would help? Thanks man

I do feel lost. Like I don't know what to do with myself. Thanks for the advices guys.[/quote][/quote]

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 4:46 pm 
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Rod8432 wrote:
At 58, I'll chime in with the other posts and confirm that at 23, you're barely out of the starting block. I've often heard "Life is short," but in reality, life is quite long, with many opportunities to write and rewrite your life's narrative along the way.

I was going to be a musician and then a Psychologist, and after much time, education, and money, abandoned both by age 23. And that was just the beginning. For most of us, our 20s are a wreck, just trying to get some kind of footing in life. It's in your 30s that you start to get an inkling of who you want to become. Your 40s is where you get some serious traction and in your 50s, you basically blossom into whatever larger expression you're going to be. Then in your 60s+, you give back to those coming up behind you.

Sometimes, just sitting on your hands when you don't otherwise know what to do is good advice, although hard to take. We often just want to busy ourselves with dead-end leftover commitments with jobs/relationships/educational paths/etc, rather than face that uncertain space. Better to let your mind and body wander, being open to what moves you. Your brain won't let you vacillate forever; a new interest will arise and your juices will start to flow for the next chapter. For more, I recommend "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida.

So to your dilemma about purpose, while "setting goals," "making a plan," and "being disciplined," are admirable, we're typically lousy at really knowing what we want when staring out from an uncertain place. Instead, establishing a "process of discovery" may be more beneficial initially, and knowing what flavor of "shit sandwich" you want to eat (markmanson.net/life-purpose, markmanson.net/passion, and markmanson.net/find-what-you-love).

And this kind of advice goes right along with "the Game." We tell would-be Venusian Artists to release the outcome and just get "out there" and practice game constantly. It's in the process the answer will come. Same in life.

Good luck, man.


Thank you! I appreciate the kind words. I hope this thread help others.

I think you're right. Often we want to know we're in a good path of becoming the best person you can. I had a path but not anymore. I guess that's where my confusion comes in. I graduated high school really early. I barely was 17. I was a great athlete, great interpersonal skills and just humble guy.

At 17 I decided to move to the US in pursuing a dream, the dream came through for quite some time.

I moved away because in the society I was, they wanted me to go to college, get marry, have kids and live like that for the rest of my days. I couldn't do it.

Often I had girls asking me to have sex with them without protection which I was in my right mind and never did.

I knew I wanted to explore and become an athlete. Now that I see myself not getting where I need to be, I'm just lost.

I do appreciate you telling me all this. It's funny how I think I have no time and often trying to find what the f* to do but you guys are right. I'm 23. I'm not leaving with my parents, I make decent money (hating what I do) but I guess I'm independent and just have to figure out the next chapter in my life.

Thank you once again my friends

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 6:06 am 
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Not always an easy answer to find out. I've asked this question a few times in my life during pivotal moments. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school, but I was told by my family that I should get a practical degree in college, so I did. Wasn't sure what I wanted to do after college, but started hanging out with school clubs that entered the financial industry and adopted that focus, so I got a career in that after I graduated. Found out that's not what I wanted so I left that career and now I'm focusing on marketing, gaming and building a social and abundant lifestyle after I found some mentors. I feel much more fulfilled now than I was before. It's important to network with as many people as possible within your interests, find mentors and something that drives you. Good luck with your journey.

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 7:12 pm 
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WillEdward wrote:
Not always an easy answer to find out. I've asked this question a few times in my life during pivotal moments. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school, but I was told by my family that I should get a practical degree in college, so I did. Wasn't sure what I wanted to do after college, but started hanging out with school clubs that entered the financial industry and adopted that focus, so I got a career in that after I graduated. Found out that's not what I wanted so I left that career and now I'm focusing on marketing, gaming and building a social and abundant lifestyle after I found some mentors. I feel much more fulfilled now than I was before. It's important to network with as many people as possible within your interests, find mentors and something that drives you. Good luck with your journey.


Thank you my friend. That's a good advice. I think I have left my social life aside and have not focused on it.

How do you expand your social circle when you're leaving what you have been doing for so long? My fellows players don't hang out.

I guess I have to meet people in general. I can bang women, but then after I really don't have friends. All my friends are back home.

So we'll, any suggestions in making friends in a new place? I was never opened to making friends in this town since I moved constantly and I didn't see my self here. Shit I was wrong.

Thanks again fellas!

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:27 am 
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Gioo wrote:
WillEdward wrote:
Not always an easy answer to find out. I've asked this question a few times in my life during pivotal moments. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school, but I was told by my family that I should get a practical degree in college, so I did. Wasn't sure what I wanted to do after college, but started hanging out with school clubs that entered the financial industry and adopted that focus, so I got a career in that after I graduated. Found out that's not what I wanted so I left that career and now I'm focusing on marketing, gaming and building a social and abundant lifestyle after I found some mentors. I feel much more fulfilled now than I was before. It's important to network with as many people as possible within your interests, find mentors and something that drives you. Good luck with your journey.


Thank you my friend. That's a good advice. I think I have left my social life aside and have not focused on it.

How do you expand your social circle when you're leaving what you have been doing for so long? My fellows players don't hang out.

I guess I have to meet people in general. I can bang women, but then after I really don't have friends. All my friends are back home.

So we'll, any suggestions in making friends in a new place? I was never opened to making friends in this town since I moved constantly and I didn't see my self here. Shit I was wrong.

Thanks again fellas!


Talk to people in general throughout your day. Give positive energy, qualify them and ask what are the best spots to go in town are or what they are doing that night. You'll get social intelligence on the best venues over time and when you go into the venue that night, you already have social proof and building the foundation of a social circle. If you're interested in latin dancing, there are usually some latin clubs that offer free salsa lessons and I have met a bunch of people there and hang out with them afterward. Whatever you find interesting, find an event and mingle with the people there and exchange contact info and set plans to hang out again. Don't escalate too much with the girls in that social circle yet if you want to continue to expand it. You'll eventually get introduced to their other cute friends or use them as preselection when gaming at a public venue. I used to be all about cold approach, but it's a lot more fun, easier and "normal" to build a social circle.

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 9:56 pm 
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WillEdward wrote:
Gioo wrote:
WillEdward wrote:
Not always an easy answer to find out. I've asked this question a few times in my life during pivotal moments. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school, but I was told by my family that I should get a practical degree in college, so I did. Wasn't sure what I wanted to do after college, but started hanging out with school clubs that entered the financial industry and adopted that focus, so I got a career in that after I graduated. Found out that's not what I wanted so I left that career and now I'm focusing on marketing, gaming and building a social and abundant lifestyle after I found some mentors. I feel much more fulfilled now than I was before. It's important to network with as many people as possible within your interests, find mentors and something that drives you. Good luck with your journey.


Thank you my friend. That's a good advice. I think I have left my social life aside and have not focused on it.

How do you expand your social circle when you're leaving what you have been doing for so long? My fellows players don't hang out.

I guess I have to meet people in general. I can bang women, but then after I really don't have friends. All my friends are back home.

So we'll, any suggestions in making friends in a new place? I was never opened to making friends in this town since I moved constantly and I didn't see my self here. Shit I was wrong.

Thanks again fellas!


Talk to people in general throughout your day. Give positive energy, qualify them and ask what are the best spots to go in town are or what they are doing that night. You'll get social intelligence on the best venues over time and when you go into the venue that night, you already have social proof and building the foundation of a social circle. If you're interested in latin dancing, there are usually some latin clubs that offer free salsa lessons and I have met a bunch of people there and hang out with them afterward. Whatever you find interesting, find an event and mingle with the people there and exchange contact info and set plans to hang out again. Don't escalate too much with the girls in that social circle yet if you want to continue to expand it. You'll eventually get introduced to their other cute friends or use them as preselection when gaming at a public venue. I used to be all about cold approach, but it's a lot more fun, easier and "normal" to build a social circle.


Great advice my friend.

The only thing is that I have been in that situation where I meet like two girls and then I just want to be friends then they introduce me to their other female friends but the other girls won't pursue me because their friends like me first lol.

I have been in situations where girls actually hang to hang out but they would say “My friend introduce us and she really likes you, I'll feel guilty” lol.

But thanks man, I keep seeing different tools that I have to implement. Just got a couple of interviews in things that make me excited.

It's cold outside so haven't found a venue to meet people in general.

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2016 10:16 pm 
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Gioo wrote:
Hey fellas, I am confused and pretty much would like to know if anybody had gone through the same thing. For quite a while I was quite happy with my life. I made a team of football in Europe (didn't last long), I was always improving my game (seduction) until I got to meet a girl that fulfilled that need of having a partner.

However, now I don't find my purpose in life. Unfortunately, my career in football (soccer) has not been like I had dreamed of. I suffered a bad ankle injury. For my luck, it was in my strong foot and I damaged some nerves pretty bad. The worst part was that I couldn't rehab it the right way because I had to leave the country and my stubborn ass played through my fucked up ankle damaging more what was already damaged.
I tried rehab but it seems I would never gain my form again.
I tried with trainers but mentally I'm just not there to overcome fear.

Now....I feel I lost purpose. I am back in the US living in a state I really don't like. I was coaching, because is my passion, but the pay wasn't good enough so I have to leave. I'm working a job that I completely don't like but it pays my bills.

At this point I feel lost and not sure what my path should be. The thing is that I'm not sure what the next step in my life should be? Why I'm feeling so lost?

Have anyone felt this way? I know everything comes in your inner game but mine is banged up. I even feel terrify of going to a field and play against professionals.

I barely want to get up in the mornings. I even feel pity for myself writing this.

If anyone has been in a position where you have felt you lost everything and you have no purpose anymore and overcome that, please share it.

I have some jobs offers for more desk jobs but something that I would hate to do.

I'm all about traveling and finding myself, has anyone gone traveling and have nice experiences?

Thank you for reading my vent. Life is beautiful and some times takes another perspective to see what you're not able to.

Bonne chance!


Hey Gioo!

Yes, I have been in your situation before and know exactly what it feels like waking up in the morning so worried about your future that you simply don't feel motivated to get up and do something.

By the way, since I have lately replied to the post of the guy who got stuck in a very similar situation where he didn't know what his purpose was and what he had to do to get back to life, I suggest that you simply click on the link to this post titled "how do i find inner peace with myself and my surroundings?" and read my reply to it if you want to learn about my tips on how to transform your entire life from the scratch when it comes to identifying and focusing on your true passions in life.

When it comes to successfully dealing with any of your problems and finding the best possible solution to it as quickly as possible, next I'm going to share with you the words of wisdom of a couple of psychologists that helped me get on the right path to achieving my own success in life.

I regained my focus on wanting to build my ever desired dream, passion-focused online business thanks to lately stumbling on two psychologists who taught me the secret to achieving the ultimate success from the perspective of having the right mindset.

They taught me two important things:

1. Turning your life's downsides into upsides is possible only after you decide to cope with the obstacles that stand in your way to achieving your goals and your ultimate success.

2. Every time you find yourself in the situation of desperately wanting to achieve your goal as quickly as possible by skipping all the hard work or in the situation where you end up being extremely upset or worried about not having something that you believe could make you feel happy and fulfilled, you should ask yourself a very simple question:

"Why am I now already happy?"

The combination of these two vital things helped me suddenly stop running around asking random people to lend me thousands of bucks to be able to take up the next big business-building mentorship or to go to the next big money-making seminar.

After asking myself the above question when going to bed one night, I woke up the following morning so blessed that I had such clarity of knowing exactly what my next steps are in relation to starting my own online business that I'd never had before.

It was really amazing how within only a few short minutes of asking myself "Why am I now already happy?" I suddenly realized that I was indeed happy.

I realized that I had all the necessary skills and resources to succeed and make my dream business come true.

It's very interesting that the Harvard university psychologist who taught me the secret of the "Why am I now already happy?" question, said that a team of researchers came to the realization of the benefits of asking this question after they'd discovered that a number of participants in their research who either won the lottery prize or had the option to choose their desired thing from among many items of the same kind, like clothes and cars, later stated that once they won the lottery money and their desired sports car, they didn't feel truly happy and fulfilled.

What they surprisingly said instead was that they felt much happier and fulfilled before winning the lottery and before winning their favorite sports car.

So, what the above mentioned question does for you immediately after you've asked it is that it simply helps activate your brain's cells responsible for finding the solution to your problem as quickly as possible in such situations where you initially get stuck worrying, complaining or just being sad and depressed about not having something that you desire or not having enough of it.

So, once I decided to accept the pain of all my financial frustrations and cope with it, and then asked myself the "Why am I now already happy?" question, my brain's engine got fired up so much that I soon made up a solid plan and a viable strategy to start my own online business all based on identifying my true passions, my strengths and my free resources.

The bottom line is this: Unless you invest some effort and time in identifying what your purpose on earth is based on knowing who you really are and what your true passions and strengths are, you cannot expect somebody else to do this necessary work for you and help you achieve your ultimate success in life.

Hope you find my tips and observations encouraging enough to take those first most important steps towards reaching your dream life.

Bruno

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 1:01 pm 
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detox75 wrote:
Anything by Brian Tracey or "Triggers" by Marshall Goldsmith. Also I love "77 laws of success" by David DeAngelo Prêt immobilier. You likely need to make some goals and then add some discipline, action steps, and actionable details for implementing them

Your first priority though should still be determining what your next big life adventure should be and pursuing it. I definitely would not be pursing any job for money or security at this point, that will likely only make you more unhappy.

I also think that it is better that there are details so that all members of the forum can see.


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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:26 am 
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claricia53 wrote:
detox75 wrote:
Anything by Brian Tracey or "Triggers" by Marshall Goldsmith. Also I love "77 laws of success" by David DeAngelo Prêt immobilier. You likely need to make some goals and then add some discipline, action steps, and actionable details for implementing them

Your first priority though should still be determining what your next big life adventure should be and pursuing it. I definitely would not be pursing any job for money or security at this point, that will likely only make you more unhappy.

I also think that it is better that there are details so that all members of the forum can see.



What kind of details?

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 Post subject: Re: Purpose in Life
PostPosted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:21 am 
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+1 for Brian Tracey all day every day.


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