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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:07 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:47 pm
Posts: 295
Thank you for you're reply

My experience is a lot different to yours even though on the surface it seems similar but I will explain why.



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A lot of bad things happened. but i kept loving her because of her 'love emotions' she projected on me. she needed to be hugged while she started an argue.
We never argued at all. Seriously good chemistry between us.

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She was the one who let me come over to her ( like mr nice guy ), but she never intended to come over to my place because we argue a lot. it was always ME being ready to come over to her to talk about it.
She's always come over mine I rarely would go to see her
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she often looked forward or down to floor for a few seconds, like beeing in a sort of trance. when i asked her what she was thinking about she said ; ' dont bother, i do that often, its nothing'
She never did this, she acts on her emotions not logically. I myself used to do this with previous girlfriends when I was very ill.
I would get like this when I had a choice to react to something I did not like and that 'distant' vibe is her inside her own head calculating (logically) the best way to respond. Whether the reasons were to A, not hurt you, or B, keep control of the situation and manipulate you.
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she cheated on her previous boyfriend 2 times ; with another guy and later on with me. i've never trusted her for the full 100 percent.
My girl just isn't that type of girl. She puts up walls which are for self protection which takes a long time to break down. I was only able to do so due to genuine compatibility. We have the same minds and thing the same way, we're always saying the same things etc. I also gamed her from the start HARDCORE AND FLAWLESSLY. Perhaps I gamed her too well since I tore down her walls before they were ready to come down. (This is actually the realisation that allows me to answer my own question in the OP) When I say game her I never hit on her once since I could tell if I was to hit on her I'd instantly get shot down, and I witness her shooting down guys all the time.

It was the fact that I never hit on her that actually got her to tell me that she was interested in me.

Personally I would never invest in someone who I know is a cheater in the first place. Most women will cheat if they are unhappy, I honestly believe that if a woman is truly happy she will be 100% loyal. Of course AFC's never realise their girls are unhappy until its too late.
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and she talked a lot about other guys asking her for a date ( the jealous thing ).
well, i always replied with 'you make a good prgress '
This is normal behaviour. It's a shit test. You need to stamp it out early on in any relationship otherwise it's there to stay.
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It's been a year of argues, and mindfucks and i'm glad now its over, that i dont have to feel bad or fucked up anymore.
Understandable. With me she has been completely transparent about her feelings the whole time. She trusts me enough to tell me these things because I rewarded that behaviour from the start.
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My opinion is that my ex girlfriend needs some kind of help, solving her LSE issues. Otherwise, she will always be like this to any other guy. The only guy she can be with, must some kind of 'always Mr. nice guy'. Only those guys can keep a girl with LSE happy....
I'm not really sure how to answer this since I don't have the answer. I will say though that I believe noone can make her happy until she deals with her issue. It's not personal against you. Due to her transparency with me I am able to be there for her because I can trust her and we do not hurt eachother. With you it's just constant hurt which is also causing her harm. Your girl cannot recover while she is hurt. (See what I said my realisation above. I need to give her space and let her heal from her previous experiences before she is ready to be with me. Freezing her out will hurt her making the process slower and lose all the trust that have worked so hard to develop. I just need to give her space and time and also reassure her I'm there for her while she heels)
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I even think she cheated her ex boyfriend for her own ' feel good' feelings. some kind of way for her to satisfy her selfpity.
Her ex was an AFC she was looking for an escape from him. You provided her that opportunity. She was never going to leave him and risk being alone, especially with her insecurities. Women need to feel secure.

Hope this has helped you mate

cheers


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