Blushing

Self Explained · Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 3:56 am Post subject: Blushing

How to approach and get rid of it is my question.

Inertiatic · Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 9:19 pm Post subject:

I've had similar problems in the past. I've noticed that it's not even always when I'm talking to women, but it could happen anytime I feel threatened, questioned or undermined.

What has helped me:

1) Try to approach within 3 seconds. You may still blush, but once you're into the conversation you'll be so wrapped up into what is being said that you will no longer feel uncomfortable. If you wait, you'll only psyche yourself out and put a lot of unwanted pressure on yourself. Live by the 3 second rule.

2) Try to incorporate a leadership role into your everyday life. I had problems with speaking publicly, so I accepted a job to give tutorials to about 100 students at my University. My anxiety was gone after the second or third tutorial, as you get used to speaking to HBs, AFCs, etc who are all paying attention to YOU.

3) Put the onus on them. Remember, you are asking THEM a question- if anyone should be put on the spot and shy, it's her. Once you figure out your opener, deliver it speaking slowly by steadily. Then, just wait for her to answer, keeping eye contact. This will demonstrate your confidence and force her to come up with a satisfactory reply. Your job is done. You should go into the interaction with the mindset that it is up to her to impress YOU and not vice versa. What makes her special? You don't have anything to prove to her, she has everything to prove to you.

Remember: the first 5 seconds of the interaction is most important. Even if you blush a little bit, who cares? There are other girls, other venues, etc. The only remedy is to talk to as many people as possible, as often as possible. I still blush from time to time, but using the 3 tips above, I have been able to control it for the most part.

Inertiatic

Vedere · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject:

Nice post !

Also

Some people have blush fear.
It's the fear that you will blush when doing something social. So to be clear. You fear that you will blush and therefore you blush. And then, when you feel that you are blushing, you'll get uncomfortable , even when the conversation goes perfectly normal.
I still have it, but manage to control it better now.

How?

Most of the people are so into theirselves that they will not even notice you blushing. They'll only say something about it if they blush often theirselves, believe me. And even when they notice.. they won't care if your other stiff is together.

Just focus on your act. Don't focus on the blushing. And when you feel that you start blushing, just let yourself blush instead of fighting it.

Cig · Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 11:42 pm Post subject:

Blushing shouldn't really matter unless they point it out. Do point it out?

LoveMonkey · Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 12:15 am Post subject:

Roads · Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 6:58 pm Post subject:

If you blush, make sure your game is congruent with it. Make sure you convey, either through words or body language, that you know you are blushing but that you just don't care.

You shouldn't care that you blush because it's not something you can consciously control. When you blush, the blood vessels in your face and sometimes around your neck dilate and become engorged with blood. Sounds similar to another physiological reaction doesn't it? Yes, the process is similar to getting an erection. Don't feel bad about it, don't feel self conscious about it, don't apologize for it, because it's part of what makes you human.

Soloman5000 · Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 2:04 pm Post subject:

I think blushing is something that you eventually get over. After enough rejections, you get used to being put in akward situations.

ugee · Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 10:09 pm Post subject:

just go do it, blank it totally out!

MattJacks · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 11:21 am Post subject:

if u blush and somone says somthing about it just joke about it.
-yeah im just so embarassssed to be in such awesome company Wink

(works reeely well if ur being amoged aswell)
-it just im so damn hot. i cant helpbut flush everytime i catch a glimps of myself in a reflection.
-its just your aura is so strong its forcing a reaction in me (if ur well into the game with her. then go fora kiss)
-red is the colour of passion Very Happy

use ur blushing to increase the comfort

cranberry sauce · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:26 am Post subject:

as someone said on this thread:

When you fear blushing, you blush most. I went through tremendous fear of blushing when i was in highschool. I was so worried about it, all the time. It fucked me up so bad.

Eventually I overcame it though. This is what it was all about for me:

When i blushed in social situations it was because I wasn't being myself. I was afraid to be myself in school and around other people. Eventually, I got some self esteem and was no longer afraid to be myself to a certain degree. That lowered my blushing a lot.

Also realize this: Sometimes its okay to blush. It's not always a bad thing necesarily. Everyone does it. It shows that you're ethical.

darkme_legendary · Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:44 am Post subject:

chi · Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:03 am Post subject:

haha thankyouthankyouthankyou dark skin!

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