Practical Attainment of Inner Game. (Contributions Welcome!)


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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 4:33 pm 
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Posts that are not practical contributions or grounded in experience will be subject to removal.

I want to highlight, that I personally disagree with claims that PU will change your life for the better. The self help industry (and by that title PU included) is crammed with frauds looking to prey on losers with more money than sense.

There are alot of myths passed around about what will change you and what won't, so much so that even after studying the psychology of learning and attitude change, it's still unclear what exactly is "true" with regards to Self help.

My view is that the problem with pick up right now is that it has become far too self important and is concerning itself with matters that it doesn't understand. In my opinion PUA's should stick to their field of expertise (getting laid) rather than wander of into the worlds of councilling which PU does not cover of train PUA's for.

What this is, is an approach via methodical planning and consistency to get results in an area that you want to excell in.

------------------
LEARNING
------------------

1. 7 P's

Prior
Planning
and
Preperation
Prevents
Piss
Poor
Performance

Think through what you want to achieve, how you achieve this, when you will do this, how often you will practise and how you will know you have achieved your goal.

EXAMPLE
Time: Week 1
Goal: Have strong Eye Contact.
Method: Keep self aware and coinciosuly count 5 conversations every day of this week where you maintain Eye Contact for longer than the other person/s you are talking to.
Measure: E/C has become more instinctual and automatic.

2. Re-evaluate.

If your plan doesn't work out, (and at some point it will fail) then look over your plan and change it for next time. Was their enough time to complete objectives? Was your measuring system effective? Were you specefic enough about when you would practise and learn new skills?

3. Do Less Achieve More.

Focus on one thing at a time during your periods of "change" to keep your rate of progress effective.

For instance, the goals for Week one could be purely about Eye contact and good body language.

With your attention centred, not only will your thoughts be less clutered but you will be more aware about what you want to change.

4. Read, Apply, Observe Apply.

Read about and observe the themes you want to embody, the more you are exposed to the stimulus you want to mimic or assimilate, just thinking about Smiling when opening for instance, or training hard to improve your hockey game can go a long way in un-consciously motivating yourself to make difficult decisions.

5. Expressive Writing.

Whether this is lists of things that make you feel good, recounting bad expriences or examining your own thoughts about yourself and others. Expressive writing allows for something that in head or person to person talk doesn't.

It allows you to structure and observe your thoughts which has a plethora of benefits in reducing anxiety, motivating yourself, over-coming negative expreiences, generating new healthier beliefs about the world and just all round making you feel happier.

To sumarise.

1. Plan, in detail. A plan with details included is golden.
2. When things go wrong, assess your plan for changes.
3. Do less, achieve more. Focus on the important by ignoring the un-important.
4. Surround yourself with your virtues.
5. Use expressive writing to journal thoughts and make sense of your "internal chatter".


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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 5:05 pm 
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As I see it there are only 3 ways to develop strong inner game. & these three things are action, reading books, and therapy. Through action you develop confidence. Through books you develop understanding. Through therapy you also develop understanding but you also change up your belief systems. For me the best way to get into state before going out is through meditation. It quites down your mind and you instantly become more attractive because your more relaxed and chill. Your body movements are slower, your facial expressions are different, and your tone ov voice is more relaxed.

Therapy is a great way to develop strong inner game. Im not talking about some regular talk therapy but about EMDR. This therapy is strictly used to change our belief systems from the past. It also raises your self-esteem like no other. & the best thing is that the beliefs you go over in the session become installed permanently. No bullshit no nothing. But theres a price and that price is always money.

IT was also reccommended by Vin Dicarlo and I think Mystery went through the same therapy too.

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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 5:34 pm 
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Location: Springfield, Missouri, USA
Before I ever try to build inner game in a person, I find it useful to first get them to be honest about how they view themselves and the person they'd like to be. One way I've found very effective at this is getting them to visualize the type of man they'd really like to be--how he'd speak, how he'd respond to certain situations, his walk, the way he dresses, his outlook on life, etc.

The reason this works is because it draws a bridge between a person's current beliefs--the way they see the world due to social conditioning, beliefs imposed by authority figures, etc.-- and their core values--what they actually believe on a subconscious level beneath all the shit that's been piled on top of it.

When a person's current beliefs become more closely aligned with their core values, confidence springs from that because they are behaving in a way that is congruent with their subconscious mind. In some cases, this has been all that's necessary to help a person.

Your boy,
870

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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 10:07 am 
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Great response Hobbit.

If someone were to ask me to tell them one thing that would improve their life it would be...

EXERCISE ! ( reiterating Hobbits' post )

If you do one thing every day to improve yourself, exercise. It improves EVERY aspect of your life. I seriously would put this top of the list.

Byron


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 12:40 am 
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The fastest, most time tested, low risk, high reward method for building self esteem (which obviously is a huge component of inner game) is hitting the gym.

The gains you make in the weight room are concrete, measurable, and definable. Knowing for a fact that you have made progress is the most effective way of ensuring that you continue on the path towards progress.

Not to mention, working out will make you healthier, and will without a doubt make you more attractive.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:22 am 
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The book Feeling Good by Dr. Burns to learn to talk balk to negative thoughts and get healthy self esteem. I use it, helped a lot.
http://books.google.com/books?id=UaEg_u ... ns&f=false


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 1:28 pm 
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Posting to find be able to find this thread later.

Thanks to all for posting I need a lil inner/self confidence building and this seems it could be helpfull.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:53 pm 
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Has anyone tried Approaching Confidence bye PUA training?

Ive used it and got big results fast. No more approach anxiety for me.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:50 pm 
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best forum on the subject I have ever seen in my life, thank you friends!

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the possibility of victory, is on the attack. Who defends himself shows that his strength is inadequate; who attacks shows that it is abundant


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 Post subject: Thanks OP!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 5:49 pm 
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Thanks OP! This stuff is gold. Definitely empowering through knowledge.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:18 pm 
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From everything I have read, both here and else where, about success, happiness, spirituality, confidence, ect all boils down to one thing....

Worthiness.

This is what everyone refers to here as inner game.


If you truly believe you are worthy of something, there is no stopping you getting what you desire. Women, money, happiness, success.

what is worthiness?
Worthiness is the removal of doubt.
If you have no doubts about yourself, you free yourself from fear.
Once you are free you will become empowered to do anything you choose, and succeed at it without limit.

How do you remove doubt?
This is very tricky, but it can be achieved by removing negativity from your life.
Every time you think or say something negative you re-enforce your doubt. A technique I have been learning is to remove the words NO, CANT, and DONT from everything I say and think. Its a tricky thing to do, but now after a month of actively trying, things are getting much easier and my whole outlook and attitude towards life is changing.

My positivity is starting to help me manifest the world I want to in. For once in my life I know that I have some control about the direction of my life and the things happening within it.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:03 pm 
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I feel as if this thread has steered away from it's intended goals and I'm hoping I can steer it back there.

I'm currently on a search for much more defined method of blasting through inner game problems people have. While there is a vast amount of information on the subject I have yet to find anything that outlines a clear method of addressing the major issues.

I believe that this issue of inner game is actually less debilitating in men than it is in women. In my experience I've found men are much easier to move forward through change despite having issues such as low self esteem (in my opinion the biggest problem that plagues people seeking help from anything - such as pua). Men will push through low self esteem and go to the gym, or change the way they look, knowing that self esteem will follow these actions.

Women on the other hand are entirely different, I've found that if a woman has low self esteem it is virtually impossible to get her to make positive steps towards improving herself. For example, I take the philosophy of "there are no ugly people, only lazy people", the vast majority of women can look good if they put the effort in, good hair, doing their make up well, etc etc, these changes can almost instantly make a woman attractive. Yet, the problem I find is the women with low self esteem, despite being told and shown this, will not make this effort because of their low self esteem, it completely destroys their motivation, they feel as if it's all pointless.


So, back to my original point, I think that it would be highly useful if we can create a clear and concise method for blasting these issues entirely. While it is less useful to men as they can usually work through it, I find that teaching women with these issues is almost impossible.

In order to try and create such a method, I think the best place to start would be to take all of the major inner game issues and order them. Two lists are appropriate here, most common, and most debilitating.

From this we can start addressing every issue in specifics and create a clear and concise method overall.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:32 pm 
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Great stuff, very useful.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:29 am 
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Sticksie wrote:
Has anyone tried Approaching Confidence bye PUA training?

Ive used it and got big results fast. No more approach anxiety for me.


If it works the way you say it does, then I will consider buying it. How long did it take for you to get over approach anxiety?


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:36 am 
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Jlax wrote:
As I see it there are only 3 ways to develop strong inner game. & these three things are action, reading books, and therapy. Through action you develop confidence. Through books you develop understanding. Through therapy you also develop understanding but you also change up your belief systems. For me the best way to get into state before going out is through meditation. It quites down your mind and you instantly become more attractive because your more relaxed and chill. Your body movements are slower, your facial expressions are different, and your tone ov voice is more relaxed.

Therapy is a great way to develop strong inner game. Im not talking about some regular talk therapy but about EMDR. This therapy is strictly used to change our belief systems from the past. It also raises your self-esteem like no other. & the best thing is that the beliefs you go over in the session become installed permanently. No bullshit no nothing. But theres a price and that price is always money.

IT was also reccommended by Vin Dicarlo and I think Mystery went through the same therapy too.


This is the first I have heard of EMDR Therapy. I am definitely going to consider taking this. It sounds like something that can help me a great deal. Thank you for posting this.


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