Practical Attainment of Inner Game. (Contributions Welcome!)


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:54 pm 
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great thread, real professional grade stuff in here.

BACK ON TOPIC.....

fitness ( not just weight loss ) directly contributes to self esteem

Observing yourself. Not self conscious, that implies judgement, but just observing. This way you see what is really going on and what crazy thoughts or habits you have.

spend as much time as possible living in the present moment. don't relive or create drama in your head.

remember that a stranger cannot reject you, they don't even know you. They are rejecting some image/feeling that you may not be responsible for.

You absolutely will not score with every woman, no matter what. Expect rejection and expect flaking. If you seem to be getting every one you go for then you are doing something wrong.

Practice good boundaries and emotional self defense. Don't take any verbal abuse. If she orders you to do anything , hell no. If she asks you to buy her a drink tell her to buy the first round. If you are getting mixed messages from her then something isn't right so move on.

Every once in a while, just for the experience, go for a hot woman that you think you shouldn't be able to get. The idea is to practice and act normally anyway in spite of social pressure and emotions. Its either like a workout, OR you get her. Can't lose if you take the right attitude towards it.

No matter how conservative you or your dates are, never assume that sex or X number of dates means you are "together". This is actually the dreaded ONEITIS sneaking in.

Get rid of guilt about sex or being sexually aggressive. This comes from false ideas about what women want and simple inexperience.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:51 am 
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Here is my two cent of advice from personal gain. I read the book physco-cybernetics.. its really good for working on self image, but there is a exercise in that book that can help everyone improve the way they see them self and see life. its called visual practice, but here is my twist that really helped me gain real confidence. I do it for 30 mins everyday, and it changed me, and it could help you. Imagine your self, getting into the mind and body of say.. brad Pitt or geroge cloney and living life. Being them, seeing how they see life, and acting like they do, assuming that high status, and then coming back to your self with that state, and its amazing. I felt their confidence, i felt their control, and i felt it being me, and its real, it works. Try it. Its very simple, yet powerful. 8) 8)


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PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 5:06 pm 
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Working on inner and outer game simultaneously can only serve to improve you as a whole. Gambler mentions using affirmations-daily but also to help get you "in the zone".

You don't need to be reading this shit to yourself in a mirror but once a day when you get up should frame your mood positively. For example:

I am good looking, charming, interesting, intelligent, creative, fun and energetic man. Women are lucky to have me. I have the confidence to approach any woman I want. I am a PUA etc. etc.

Of course your affirmations have to be specific to you. It might feel odd and a bit gimmicky but it sets the mood for the rest of the day.

[b]Listen to Tony- he's fucking awesome.[/b]



[b]A quick note on successful people (I stumbled upon this)[/b]

[quote]1. Repeatedly successful people respond instantly! If something isn’t working out, they respond. If an important relationship is cooling down, they take time to renew it. When technology or a new competitor or a change in the economic situation requires an adjustment, they are the first and quickest to respond.

2. They work hard! Yes, they play hard, too! They get up early, they rarely complain, they expect performance from others, but they expect extraordinary performance from themselves. Repeated, high-level success starts with a recognition that hard work pays off.

3. They are incredibly curious and eager to learn. They study, ask questions and read—constantly! An interesting point, however: While most of them did well in school, the difference is that they apply or take advantage of what they learn. Repeated success is not about memorizing facts, it’s about being able to take information and create, build, or apply it in new and important ways. Successful people want to learn everything about everything!

4. They network. They know lots of people, and they know lots of different kinds of people. They listen to friends, neighbours, co- workers and bartenders. They don’t have to be “the life of the party,” in fact many are quiet, even shy, but they value people and they value relationships. Successful people have a Rolodex full of people who value their friendship and return their calls.

5. They work on themselves and never quit! While the “over-night wonders” become arrogant and quickly disappear, really successful people work on their personality, their leadership skills, management skills, and every other detail of life. When a relationship or business deal goes sour, they assume they can learn from it and they expect to do better next time. Successful people don’t tolerate flaws; they fix them!

6. They are extraordinarily creative. They go around asking, “Why not?” They see new combinations, new possibilities, new opportunities and challenges where others see problems or limitations. They wake up in the middle of the night yelling, “I’ve got it!” They ask for advice, try things out, consult experts and amateurs, always looking for a better, faster, cheaper solution. Successful people create stuff!

7. They are self-reliant and take responsibility. Incredibly successful people don’t worry about blame, and they don’t waste time complaining. They make decisions and move on. Extremely successful people take the initiative and accept the responsibilities of success.

8. They are usually relaxed and keep their perspective. Even in times of stress or turmoil, highly successful people keep their balance; they know the value of timing, humour, and patience. They rarely panic or make decisions on impulse. Unusually successful people breathe easily, ask the right questions, and make sound decisions, even in a crisis.

9. Extremely successful people live in the present moment. They know that “Now” is the only time they can control. They have a “gift” for looking people in the eye & listening to what is being said. They never seem rushed, and they get a lot done! They take full advantage of each day. Successful people don’t waste time, they use it!

10. They observe trends, notice changes, see shifts, and hear the nuances that others miss. A basketball player wearing Nikes is trivial, the neighbour kid wearing them is interesting, your own teenager demanding them is an investment opportunity! Extremely successful people live in the present, with one eye on the future![/quote]

[b]Finally. There are two ways you can live your life.[/b]
(Credit Hypnomatt @ http://www.puatraining.com/puablog/)

[quote]Option 1: You can accept responsibility for where you are in life, take control of your actions and put the work in. You make realistic goals and work hard on them. You associate with those people who you want be associated with. You don’t blame other people for your failures and you genuinely add value to people’s lives.

Option 2: You get what is given. Things happen to you which aren’t fair. You want to tell people about your problems and why things didn’t work out the way you wanted. You always have excuses and reasons why not to do something new or different, yet what you are currently doing makes you unhappy.

Life is fair. There is no point being bitter at the world for having being dealt a lousy hand in life, it is how you play it that counts. You are at the the centre of your problems and only you can make the change to actually focus on solutions. Until you reach that point, you are your own worst enemy.[/quote]

Don't suppress your emotions, they're what make you human. Feel sad, cry when you need to. But how can you expect to nail your inner game if you're sad, depressed and narrow minded?

I'm not claiming to be right. I'm sharing information that has inspired me. This is a fantastic thread and I will be keeping my eye on it.


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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2011 7:52 am 
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Hobbit wrote:
Sarging
After reading this thread today, I realized I didn't discuss sarging! Many people like to try to get inner game first and outer game second, but this simply isn't how it works. Getting experiences that affirm your cognitions of "I am a cool guy" or "I am an attractive guy" is very important in this ABC model. Even if you think your the bomb, if you keep getting rejected you're going to get very uncomfortable psychologically. Even if you met your future wife, I'd advise you to stay single and keep sarging for a time period (it is your choice how far you go in those sarges).

The reason is you need the experiences to shape your world view and break your old one, which is going to require time and patience!


My heart fell out of my stomach when you wrote this. I simply hate these words, but need to face the music. I really do want to do inner game first, and I nearly dread outer game. I feel extremely vulnerable and insecure. Just being outside near people can get me dreadfully teary-eyed sometimes. But I've established for quite sometime that I am probably mentally unstable. At any rate I'm seeking help, I just read this today was not happy with what was said :(.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 6:56 am 
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Thanks! This stuff is money... I feel like inner game stuff can be difficult to attain and these are def tangible ways of getting there!!!

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 7:25 pm 
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There is so much(i) quality content on these forums! Everything here draws upon SO much knowledge and experience...it's fantastic!

Here's my perspective. What I'm pasting here is Step Three: Of David DeAngelo's "Personal Evolution Formula:" Create a Values System of the Distinction You Made from the Person You Modeled.

These are organized distinctions from David DeAngelo & Tony Robbins combined in terms of Sex Value & Lifetime Value. Enjoy, and tell me what you think! (Especially if these are different for you!)

High Lifetime Value

Devotion to Purpose
Health/Vitality (Exercise & Healthy Diet)
Intelligence (Knowing how to do all of these with Intelligence, make distinctions!)
Super Strong Identity, Beliefs, Values, Etc.
Emotional Control (Including Leverage!)
VERY Cemented, Quality Friendships
Being AMAZINGLY Good in Bed
Making a Difference (Track where I am w/ where I was)
Achievement (Getting the Girl, Giving the Girl Amazing Pleasure, Status)
Being the Best
Investing ($$$ AND for Sex in that Building Tension & Anticipation = Much Bigger Returns)(
Contribution! Make her feel amazing and happy and good! Give others the gift that I've been given!
Creativity (Contribute Creativity)


High Sex Value (Attraction/Sexual Communication, etc.)


Confidence/Comfort, Emotional Composure (States + Good Questions; What can she enjoy about me?)
Knows the Woman's Perspective
"Gets it"
Mindset on Developing Identity => Skills...when ACTUALLY WORKING WITH WOMEN, focus on skills.
Has Other Women Surrounding; Preselected
Challenge
Leader (Decision-Oriented)
Grooming
Fashion, well put together
Saying ANYTHING
Saying ANYTHING the Right Way
Saying the Right Thing (Knowledgeable About Culture & the Woman's Perspective)

Low Sex Value (Courtship, Some Wussy Behavior)

Super Nice (Without Proper Context)
Gives a TON of gifts (Without Proper Context)


Zero or Negative Sex Value (Wussy Behavior, Beta Male Behaviors)

Seeking Approval
ALWAYS Available..there
Outsider
"Don't Get It"
Follower
Diffident/Nervous
NASTY! Long nails, shaggy hair, etc.


I've been studying David DeAngelo among others for three years now (and I'm sure many of you have been studying for a lot longer!). These have served other people in the art of pickup, including myself, very well.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:40 pm 
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I know this is an older post, but I just read it. There's a lot of top notch info throughout this entire forum. After my girlfriend and I broke up after a 4 year relationship (i thought she was the one) I'm getting back out on the field and into the game. To accelerate and enhance this process more than ever before, I've spent the last 3-4 days eating this forum up and plan to continue emersion in PU materials until I'm a MPUA. This is one of the best posts I've read so far. Why? well, I'm a personal trainer and what this is to me is a concrete plan for action, which I'm a huge fan of. While increasing knowledge and awareness should be the first step in behavior change (becoming a PUA), you're gona have to get out there and take some action. This post is like a workout program for pua's and is very similar to the types of things I tell my clients.

-You're not going to get results overnight.
-Habits become automatic. Good or bad, intentional or unintentional you've fallen into certain habits. You need to re-establish some habits, and the hardest part of is the transition in between, during the transition you will need to focus and put in an honest effort. You're going to get out what you put in. After a relatively short period of time (in relation to the rest of your life) you'll have new habits in place and you'll be acting without thinking or much effort at all. It will become easier and easier and more and more likely that you'll continue on the same new path as time goes by.

-Focus on the process and the results will happen on their own.
-Don't overanalyze. Over analyzing leads to overwhelm and then you'll shut down. Use the KISS method (keep it simple). Just feel it out and it will start to happen on it's own.
Think, and act like a PUA and you'll become a PUA.

PS I also read some of the comments and there's some great posts about journaling and some about meditation. There's no doubt journaling is one of the most effective tools for changing mindset and behavior. I'm a big believer in Visualization and Self hypnosis as well, and there's a ton of scientific evidence that supports its effectiveness. I've had countless hypnosis and meditation audio exercises, and recently downloaded a subliminal hypnosis specifically for PU, which I highly recommend to anyone in PU. See , the thing about visualization is your mind can't tell the difference between what's real and what's imagined. To me , this is one of the root causes of approach anxiety. Before you even approach a girl, you're playing a movie in your head about all the negative things that could happen to you and it's all in your head and imagined, It's not real, but by thinking this way before approaching you create a self-fulfilling prophecy. So either you won't approach, or you'll seriously decrease your chances of a successful pick up. Visualization allows you to see yourself picking up girls successfully over and over and over. Practicing successful PU in your head is no doubt the next best thing to doing it out in the field. You can also work through sticking points and challenges and how you can work through them. Elite professional athletes use this technique all the time because it works, and it's not just for athletes it can be applied to almost anything including PU


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 Post subject: the elusive inner game
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 3:51 am 
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Hey guys I know I'm a newbie to the forum but not a newbie to the game and on a scale from 1 to 10, I'm a 5 compared to the gambler and the pros. Everyday I get better and learn more.

The inner game was my pit fall early on, then when it slapped me against the face one night at applebees (I know not a great pick up place but a local pub) I was talking to a nice gal but kinda trailer trash, I was working my game and I knew it was a slam dunk to get laid. I went to the bathroom to take a leak, like all bars they have the poster or ad hung in front of the pisser. It was a ad for a luxury type car? I got to thinking WHY do I wanna have anything to do with this girl??? I walked out the bar.

That night I knew I had the inner game, meaning I don't need her and I'm done with low value women. That moment was really a huge awakening to where now I don't really care. I must admit that through this transition I did get in decent shape and improved my look, you should too. If you set a goal for yourself and achieve it your confidence will skyrocket, people will notice. Bottom line is you need to get off your ass, talk to people, expand your social circle. You would be amazed like I was how easy it is to talk to people and strike up a conversation.......the circle grows.

I'm still in the beginning phase but wow I have met new people and friends by getting out of my routine that I was stuck in, I was stuck for 5 years in my ways and routine, break out.....set a goal. The inner game is really about being social and confident, good body language and relax the mind, slow it down. Be who you are and not worry about how you think other people see you. That goes 10 fold with women, they wipe their ass like you do......Miconic


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 10:04 am 
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Before I ever try to build inner game in a person, I find it useful to first get them to be honest about how they view themselves and the person they'd like to be. One way I've found very effective at this is getting them to visualize the type of man they'd really like to be--how he'd speak, how he'd respond to certain situations, his walk, the way he dresses, his outlook on life, etc.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 3:00 pm 
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I think I have a good addition to this topic, one related very much to the ABC model, but a little more inclusive and practical I think. I took a training to become more assertive recently, and they had the following circular model: Situation > Thoughts > Feelings > Situation > Thoughts > Feelings > etc. Let me clarify this with an example:

Situation: You are in a bar with two girls that you would like to talk to.
Thoughts: They don't want to talk to me, because I don't have a good opener, I have nothing interesting to say to them.
Feelings: Anxiety, nervousness and fear.
Situation: You do not approach them, but take another sip of your drink while stealing sideways glances at them.
Thoughts: it's too late to approach them now, I'm just not good with girls, I am a weakling.
Feelings: Depressed and disappointed in yourself.

As you can see, the whole thing spirals out of control in a vicious cycle of negativity. The key is to change the vicious cycle into a virtuous cycle by controlling the one thing that you can control: your thoughts. Let's try it on the example above:

Situation: You are in a bar with two girls that you would like to talk to.
Thoughts: I am an interesting guy with lots of interesting opinions. What kinds of interests could these girls and I share? It appears that they have spent considerable effort on their appearance, and I like their shoes. Perhaps I should give them a compliment on it, it is always nice to receive a compliment.
Feelings: Goal-oriented, prepared and confident.
Situation: You give the closest girl a compliment about her shoes, she says 'Thanks' but returns immediately to the conversation with her friend.
Thoughts: Well, that didn't go as well as I had hoped, but at least I tried. Her reaction does not mean I'm not interesting. It requires two people to carry a conversation, and who knows, maybe she will remember my compliment and talk to me later.
Feelings: Disappointed with her reaction, but still confident in yourself.

Of course, this is just a hypothetical example, and changing your thoughts is not so easy in real life, psychology is not magic. But for those who struggle with being assertive, it is important to remember that negative thoughts elicit negative feelings which result in negative situations. At the same time, focusing your thoughts on positive things can break this vicious cycle and turn it into a virtuous one. So next time you are experiencing negative thoughts or emotions, analyze all the links in the chain and ask yourself whether the thoughts you had were really true. Likely, you will find that they were not. Then ask yourself what thoughts could replace them, and how this would have affected your feelings and ultimately your situation. Like I said, this is not magic and it requires practice, but if you keep at it, I promise you will start feeling better about yourself and become more confident in social situations.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 5:51 am 
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Holymoly is this one of the best post i've ever seen lol.
Thanks for your sharing, appreicated.

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