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luv2fuk
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 27 Jan 2008
Posts: 10
Location: Orange County
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votes: 1
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:02 am Post subject: Approach Anxiety Problems |
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So i have this friend that is supposed to be my wingman. He watched all the Mystery videos and read his book even. When i talk to him he seems like a PUA master only one problem. He won't approach. I can't get him to open or anything. He says to me i am all talk. He says when it comes to game time he physically can't make himself talk. He thinks to much. Other then him just going out there and doing it what else should i suggest to him that could ease his mind.
I open every time and he is supposed to walk up as my wingman but when he does he just stands there and wont talk. It drives me crazy. This guy would be the best wingman 2 cause he is good looking, he is built, he works for Mercedes and drives 06 CLK55, he has the 3 vital areas covered - Health, Wealth , Love. I mean the guy is money! He just needs to stop being a pussy and step up! |
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JSmooth
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 2448
Location: Nashville
Reputation: 278.1
votes: 25
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah the only thing there is for him is to do it mostly! It'd help if A.) He follows the 3 second rule. This would give him less time to think about it. B.) He needs to work on his inner game to become more confident C.) Warm Up sets help, basically girls he has no interest in but just running through the steps for practice. |
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Bright
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 28
Location: Ellicott City
Reputation: 8.7
votes: 2
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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Spark has a great post on the power of props here at the forum. Your friend should read it. The truth of it is that being in a 'costume' gives you freedom. You can act any way you want, be anyone you want as soon as you slip into that costume.
Everyone has a pair of sunglasses that makes them feel matrix-badass, an outfit that makes them feel like sex on a stick. Those are props, and the persona you build to go along with them. You aren't a different person because of a pair of sunglasses, but putting them on makes you feel sexy, and so that's what you project to those around you.
Aside from actually getting out there and getting shot down until it doesn't effect him anymore, I've only got one suggestion:
Have him build a character.
This character has to be everything he wants to be when he sarges. He has to dress differently, act differently. Hell, give him an accent so he speaks differently. This is a persona. This is a fantasy.
Get him to be someone else for one night, and see how he likes it. Chances are that he'll like it a lot.
Take him somewhere no one knows him, somewhere crazy and fun if you can. Go to Atlantic City, New Orleans or just a club downtown.
Now Play.
The costume gives him something to hide behind to distance himself from any possible rejection, the character persona gives him the freedom from consequences that's at the heart of most social anxieties. The trip is really just to get you out of your normal sarging territory so you can get him to go wild without worry about running into people you know.
Don't know if it will work for him, but most people take a vacation from who they are every once and awhile. If his approach anxiety is that bad, it's time he gave it a shot. |
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