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Am I going in circles?
 
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Skawt27
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:04 pm    Post subject: Am I going in circles? Reply with quote

I have always been kind of a cocky funny person that is rarely serious. However, this becomes a problem when it comes time to build comfort. I am able to be serious, but then I always have a hard time sincerely giving her a compliment when she earns it. Like I'll say something that is barely a compliment and then turn it around into a C&F statement. I feel like I know shes into me, but I'm not able to show her I'm into her because it'll change her thoughts. It's like my mind keeps wanting to backtrack. I'll neg in a C&F when we're building comfort, and I'll withdraw when I know I shouldn't be. I guess thats just my mind staying in it's old habits where I am good at flirting, but shit the bed when it comes to taking the next step. I don't know if there's an easy way to change this besides keep practicing, but I just needed to vent.
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Fire
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

just be yourself dude, seems like your overanalyzing a bit, do your cocky funny thing for a bit then when it comes down to it just be yourself, if your naturally a cocky funny guy so be it, but shouldn't be too hard to be sincere every once in awhile.
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Rye Lee
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, his problem is the same as what I used to have, being C&F IS who he naturally is and there IS a time and place for that, but you need to know when to cool it and be sincere about complimenting a girl. She needs to know that you value her as an individual and that you think she's an interesting person, otherwise she doesn't have any idea what you would want to keep her around and it becomes confusing and uncomfortable. Just remember man, negging is great, I do it continually, all through the relationship, I'll neg my wife if I ever have one, I don't agree that you need to stop at a certain point, my uncle never did and he had the best marriage I had ever seen (this isn't past tense because the marriage fell apart, just cause he died, no condolences please), but if you can't show her that you love WHO she is and WHAT she is, what makes her who she is, then you'll lose her. This is that "willingness to emote" thing we keep talking about, one of the 4 main attraction switches.
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