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A bf she keeps mentioning...
 
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Poisson
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Joined: 28 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:59 am    Post subject: A bf she keeps mentioning... Reply with quote

I'm getting very mixed messages from this girl... She's practically all over me, always commenting (nicely) on my photos on facebook...

Actually, a tangent first: A friend commented on a photo, I out-alpha'ed him in my reply in a C&F way. Her reply was "1:0 for Poisson". On the one hand this is good, on the other it puts her in a dominant position, she's the one judging. So far I haven't replied to it at all, just like I haven't replied to any of her comments to my other photos. It seems a too-strong neg, but I'm tempted to write "So how many points do you have then?" or something like that to this one though, just to bring her down and maybe lead into the points-scoring routine. What do people think?

Anyway, she flirts with me a lot. But she's also always mentioning her bf around me, how he's perfect for her, how she couldn't think of anything better. I haven't really responded to these comments much, what do you think I should do?

On the one hand, it's better if her bf is not at the front of her mind. On the other maybe she's bringing him up not to shield me from her but almost to shield herself from herself, to remind herself of how good she has it... So I'm tempted the next time she brings him up, especially if it's just me and her alone, to say something like "wow, so when are you guys getting married". Her response to that will probably be "haha", because she's very young (21), and I'll be able to say something like "but he must want that, and kids, he's in his mid-thirties", just to try and wedge them that way. What do you all think?

Thanks!
P
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keruli
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First of all i wouldnt ask the question "So howmany point do you have then ?" not becouse its a too-strong neg , but becouse it quite easely for her to dominate the frame. (first answer that came to mind was: " dont worry,i got so many points i aint even in your leage" or any answer along that line)

I would say negging her is a must , but dont try lead conversations to 1 specific routine, unless u have really strong frame control (a conversational master). Try to adapt your routines to the conversations.

The Question u gotta ask yourself is , am i willing to "steal" this girl from her current relationship, and am i willing to risk the "friend-like" relationship we have now for the chance of something more ? (karma is a biatch)

When she starts about her Bf , dont question or ridicule that relationship, let her do it. Try commenting " ... and here u are talking to me" and just see how she reacts (some find this line to dangerous to use , but i give this example as it illustrates the idea, and becouse it has givn me some verry nice results in the past , but again karma is a biatch Wink )

If u are looking for something more hardcore there are some post about Bf-destroyer routines on this forum, do a search.

keruli
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Poisson
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Joined: 28 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 10:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keruli,

Very good points - best for her to do it, and also do I really want to do this. That is a question I have to settle in my own mind, sometimes I don't look far enough ahead and get landed with consequences I don't like. Anyway, thanks for your help Smile

P
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rain3131
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Joined: 13 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

if she brings him up again and metnions any kind of weakness between them u should use this technique just posted here.

[link]

at least look it over, its full of good stuff.
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