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Hobbit
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 Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:30 am Post subject: |
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Dear Zip,
Will you marry this Man A?
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Marc
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 271
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| Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:41 am Post subject: |
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Hey Zip. I have read quite a few of your replies and you come more across as a fun girl
So here is my question
Imagine yourself at a bar and a guy makes an approach and you feel slight attraction for him. He sounds genuine and cool. Right then another very good looking guy walking into the conversation and gets himself intro. to the two of you and starts talking to you.
1) Can you sense that the first guy is getting threatened. Is this unattractive to a girl
2) If the first guy walks away does the girl think less of him since he isnt playing to outdo the other guy. Does that make your attraction or interest get switched for guy1 to guy2
3) What is the best way that you think guy1 should react to this situation. Does showing unaffected and opening an adjust set of girls kind of make you think of him as socially adept and thus higher value. |
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Marc
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Joined: 04 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:38 am Post subject: |
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| Zip wrote: | I get the quote.
It's true that many women do enjoy a true masculine presence in the bedroom. Usually, we don't get guys who are forceful enough in that department. Men are raised by women to "not hit girls" and to "respect women." Which is all true and all of you shouldn't hit girls and you should respect women. However, it's translated to a lacking alphaness.
The thing is... I've heard women say they have "safe rape" fantasies. That disturbs me. The word "rape" disturbs me. Rephrasing it into maybe "every woman loves a little power play." But it loses the meaning. I will tell you this too: I know men that dream about a little force-play performed ON THEM. I think it's our nature to have a little slave and master in all of us. It's just a matter of where we are on the scale at any given time.
Truth is: It holds validity for some women. I'm disturbed by the quote because I can see what Ian means. However, safe dominance is VASTLY different than saying "semi-rape."
Why does it hold validity for some women? I believe because we're taught that we have to be powerful, dominant, successful, beautiful, witty, in charge, confident.... and we become these hard-ass wicked super chicks. Women are brought up, nowadays, where we are never out of control. Even in the bedroom. Men just don't man up in there. They don't want to hurt us or push us, which is nice... but gets stressful.
In a recent study conducted by social psychologist Diana Sanchez, she gathered data to support her claim that when men are subconsciously reminded of sex they suppress dominant thought. She suggests, “[Men] may have internalized social mores prescribing respect for women’s sexual wishes:”
…Men first saw a sex related term (climax, oral) or a neutral term (table, brick) for a fraction of a second, then had to decide whether a string of letters was a real word. Subjets were slower to recognize words associated with dominance (coerce, fierce) as real words if they’d been primed with the sexy words than the neutral ones.
much to chew on. |
Hi Zip, the above reply leads to a discussion that I'd like your thoughts on.
Sometimes you come across LSE or a girl who is weak and have problems in saying 'NO'. Here a dominant man could 'violate' her even if he doesn't know he is doing it. He might just think that he is being dominant. I understand the context in which you suggest being dominant but I would like to go a little off tangent and get your opinion on LSEs. The last thing that a PUA wants is for the girl to have a buyer's remorse. I mean that defeats the purpose of learning the "The Game". |
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Dicksaplenty
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 12 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:28 am Post subject: |
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Dear Zip,
I trust that your opinion on judging a girl is closer to correct than any other guy's. So it'd be very kind of you if you can tell me what you think of this girl:
She's got a boyfriend but still go out with me, at first as a friend. After 3 dates I got to kiss her and the next day she said she wanna have a fling with me. So I figured as a sexually healthy girl she wants me right? The next coffee date we did some make out and things went fine, I made jokes she laughed, I told her to kiss me she kissed me. Then after 2 days she said she didn't wanna see me again cuz I said I missed her and that made her feel guilty. WTF?
Thanks in advance,
Dicksaplenty |
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Zip
♥ Forum Mommy ♥
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
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Location: New York
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| Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:54 am Post subject: |
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| Madals wrote: | | Arrogance and cockyness, how do they come across to different types of women? |
Arrogance and cockiness...
Well, I can tell you this... A sophisticated woman will wonder why this man thinks he's better than her... A party girl will either go with it or get offended by it... A shy girl will wonder what's wrong with her... A high quality woman will play back with a hint of truth in the banter...
What it comes down to is... when first meeting... arrogance and cockiness can work for you... as long as you give her a human side as a "reward."
Assholes sometimes finish first. Take this example from popular literature...
You know Eric, the vampire from True Blood? He's a total cocky, arrogant man... and it WORKS because he can back it up. He's a big deal. He's been around for a century, he's a former Viking for christsake, and he's very powerful (and HOT as hell.) He is so attractive because he shows humanity every once in a while. It's not a weakness, it's a reverse-rapport-break. It draws women to him because they think.... "What if I could be that girl to make him a sweetheart?"
It goes back to the bad-boy theory. All girls want a bad boy because they think that they could be the one to fix his bad boy ways.
So it's not the arrogance or the cockiness that are the real tools. It's the blink of compassion every so often. |
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Zip
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| Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:58 am Post subject: |
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| Mr E wrote: | Hi Zip,
can you please give me a little help to give me more confidence. I go out sometimes and just hang around at the bar, in this state of paralysis, thinking to myself "you asshole, go over and get blown out but do somethiing, anything!!!"
And then I blow myself out ten times more than the babes do, by simply having the negative expectation that says,
"Jesus, that hot babe over there is just SO OUT OF MY REACH, why even bother going over, saying hi, and then getting non responsive or negligible response or a nasty response/
How do I increase my confidence in myself so that I go over to the woman in positive frame and enjoy the experience and not go into cardicac arrest  ?
Muchas gracias
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Obviously, I'm going to say INNER GAME INNER GAME INNER GAME! There are plenty of resources out there to help you NLP yourself and get in state. Replacing self-limiting beliefs with new positive beliefs, bla bla bla.
In the meantime... next time you're at the bar and you see a woman you are attracted to and want to approach but are getting some anxiety....
Pick out 4 thinks that turn you OFF about her. Maybe her hair is a little too stringy, maybe her eyes are the slightest bit crooked, maybe she's got a birthmark on her arm...
Pick out four things, realize she's JUST A PERSON and GO APPROACH! |
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Zip
♥ Forum Mommy ♥
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
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Location: New York
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| Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:07 am Post subject: |
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| zhukaching wrote: | hi zip, i am trying to figure out stuff for direct day game, and i need your help
how would a girl feel if I use a direct opener like and after a while in the interaction I show her that I lose some interest to her because of what she said? Is that a kind of push pull or is it just weird?
Thanks so much
zhu |
It's called a break in rapport... and if done well, it works. Try it out, gather some data and see how girls respond to YOU OUT IN THE FIELD. |
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Zip
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Joined: 19 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:08 am Post subject: |
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| Hobbit wrote: | Dear Zip,
Will you marry this Man A?
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Yes. |
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Zip
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Joined: 19 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:09 am Post subject: |
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HEY GUYS!
I'M BACK!!!!!
I'll answer the rest of these questions tomorrow. Right now, it's cocktail and bed time  |
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Marc
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 271
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votes: 7
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| Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Zip wrote: | | Right now, it's cocktail and bed time |
Hi Zip, that must have been one terrific cocktail because you've been gone for Long now 
We would like your prospective on my questions. Thanks. |
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Voodoo.Fresh
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 20 Mar 2009
Posts: 85
Reputation: 18.3
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| Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:02 pm Post subject: |
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Hey there Zip, got a quick question for you
Lets say a girl meets some boy (heh), now he is pretty bad at the game and nothing comes out of it (he is probably portraited as a nice/ok guy but no attraction is formed). how plausible is it to form attraction later on? |
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Marvel
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Posts: 131
Reputation: 34.8
votes: 4
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| Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:52 am Post subject: |
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I was experimenting with game....and lies....which I know I shouldn't do....just wanted to find out if it's true you can escalate kino very quickly if a gal thinks your gay...well...I told a promo model this and she's totally buying it. I know physically she's also attracted to me.
We talk dirty over texts and she's coming to my bday in a month....told her I've always wondered how it feels to be with a women....
....I'd like to be straightforward from here on out....and feel bad for "faking" it this one time on her.....
Suggestions???
I could tell her how much of a liar I am....or I could say she's turned me bi....or I could just do her in the but hole....lol....ok....but ....all jokes aside....any suggestions?
Oh,....and she's a 9 on the looker scale....personality is up there too....vibrant gal. |
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Gonefishin
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 02 Sep 2009
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| Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:52 am Post subject: |
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Dear zip,
I have a slight problem... I have terrible posture and I come off as an unconfident person my friends call me the sloucher.. Anways what I wasnte to ask you how should I hold myself to give off a good vibe, and while your at it I would appreiciate it if you named poeple from movies/ tv shows I can model after
Thanks |
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Stealth7
Dedicated Member
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 634
Location: Manhattan, IL
Reputation: 119.1
votes: 10
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| Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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Dear Zip,
Haven't talked to you in a while - however, got a question. Do girls necessary like to be called hot? I saw some videos and they don't really like that word maybe more on the terms of being called beautiful, sexy or goregous.
The reason of my question is that I have a friend of mine, that for one I don't really understand how this method works but apparently it does. He talks about this one chick on myspace wanting to screw him and blah blah blah. He commented on this girl's photo, "You are so hot!" In my opinion - this tells the girl that the guy just wants is between their legs. She commented back, "Thanks for the add and the photo comment ;D".
Oh, before you get any weird ideas - it's on our official paranormal group account on myspace. So both he and I share it but he does most of the work with networking and getting out the word about our group.
Sum it up, how in the world does this method work? I know it's direct game - but also, I learned it's better for the girl to earn the compliment then give them out for free.
I know I rambled on a bit - however, I'll work on getting to the point next time. Peace! |
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Zip
♥ Forum Mommy ♥
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 1482
Location: New York
Reputation: 223.1
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| Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Voodoo.Fresh wrote: | Hey there Zip, got a quick question for you
Lets say a girl meets some boy (heh), now he is pretty bad at the game and nothing comes out of it (he is probably portraited as a nice/ok guy but no attraction is formed). how plausible is it to form attraction later on? |
It's possible. This "nice/ok" guy needs to build some "bad boy" social proof (check out entourage or meta game by AFC Adam) and she'll most likely be attracted. The rapport you already have improves your chances once you start flipping attraction switches. |
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