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Madals
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 Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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Could you please define the different feelings a women will have when:
a) harmless flirting
b) Flirting with "intent"
Also, how would you suggest moving from a to b?
Madals |
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David~
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| Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:13 pm Post subject: |
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Zip, this is crucial.
As a chick, when you meet a guy or see one, how long does it take to determine that you may sleep with him.
Like do you have a trigger in your mind that goes "Oh damn, I want him, lets see what he is all about".
Like as you know, I'm sure most guys go "I would fuck her, sure" when they see a chick that's really hot. And that is the basis for us talking to a girl |
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Zip
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| Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Swoop wrote: | Hey Zip. Thanks for all the help.
Ok, so I have a good girlfriend who I've known for like 15 years (we dated in 6th grade  ). She told me a while ago she is still a virgin. She is 24. We lost touch for a few years when I left for college, but for the past year or so, we've been hanging out as friends when I make it back home to visit. We chat over the internet back and forth occasionally and I've steered it slightly sexual from time to time, but its always in that "friend" sort of way. Playful or whatever, but then switch to sincere, pretty much cus I DO want the low down!
So... I am the front-runner basically. Shes kinda hints at the type of guy she wants to do it with (my type), but its her first time! I feel bad for her cus she thinks about it ALL the time,. Its becoming obsessive. so in a way, i want to help; she is my friend and I care about her. If it wasnt such a big deal to her, hooking up with her wouldnt be a prob. She needs to get over this.... speedbump(?) tho. But part of me is like "No Way Man! That has Pandora written all over it!" I had a serious relationship with one of her best friends in hs, 2 years. That girl however is engaged to some other dude, the guy she dated after me.
The gossip concerns me way less than the friendship that would take place after the thing. Also, i dont think I can be honest with her about the number of girls I've been with. She wouldn't like that... What do you think??? She definitely needs to get laid. But she has this outrageous criteria, I understand cus its her first time, but the girl needs ass! Should I? She is depriving herself or normal sexual experiences, she is almost 25! |
I know I missed this one, and the situation is probably over and done with... but hypothetically and for the future...
Don't kid yourself and justify your desire to sleep with a virgin as "helping her get over this speedbump." Taking someone's virginity should and is a big deal. For everyone involved. And if she's engaged... I'd stay out of it. And you'd HAVE to be straight up with her about the number of girls you've been with (because it's her first time... she has a right to know. Honestly... a high number won't be a bad thing... it will trigger some attraction, fyi.)
If you're worried about the friendship that would take place after... it will get fucked up. We all are somehow attached to our "first," and not in a good way. As a friend, stop justifying it by "doing her a favor," let the girl have sex with her husband when they are married. |
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Zip
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| Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 8:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Fin wrote: | Hey Zippy, long time no see! 
Anyway two little questions.
1. Swearing, your thoughts on it? Now manners is something I've been looking at, and so far I've come to the conclusion that manners help with comfort and make dealing with shit tests easy as pie. |
Well, swearing isn't going to make you look intelligent. But, it's going to make you a bit of a bad boy (which is good.) The caveat is that swearing is SO common, I don't know if the benefits of swearing (boosting that bad-boy attraction switch) would even work on a girl who hasn't been living in a Mormon town her entire life.
Manners are very important and sexy... but you don't want to just come across like a perfect gentlemen. You want to come across like James Bond... a gentleman with a bit of badness or danger. Remember... nice guys finish last when it comes to the attraction phase.
| Quote: |
2. "The difference between two people dating and a relationship is in the comfort and the connection; the emphasis moves from attraction to attatchment."
Do you agree or disagree, why?
Thanks Zip. |
For some, yes. The move from dating to a relationship is about the comfort. There's a safe warm hug feeling you get when you make the jump from dating to relationship (for men and women.) However, eventually the safe warm hug gets old and the man tends to distance himself. As long as the woman lets him distance himself then snap back to her... the relationship will usually be healthy and fine. (Rubber-Band Theory.)
I agree. However, that's the tip of the ice-berg. It's only a true statement about comfort in the move to a relationship. |
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Zip
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| Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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| jurupa wrote: | Hey Zip,
I have a wtf question for you. In short I been talking to this girl online who made it clear she wants to get married or at least have a serious relationship. Me on the other hand want a more casual relationship and maybe a serious one but in no way do I want to get married. After telling her this I thought she would stop talking to me as we are looking for two different things. But instead I get a message from her that is continuing the conversation. wtf?
Why would a girl continue to talk to me when we are looking for different things relationship wise? By me saying that I may be open to a seriously relationship she is hoping there is a chance for one? Or is she one of those girls that think she can "change" me to want a serious relationship and/or marriage?
Update:
I replied back to her message and she basically asked me out. Not totally sure where this is going let alone what is going on here. |
Because women like to be "the one" who changes the guy. Women like to go in and fix things they think are broken. As long as there's a long shot, some women will dive in there. It's a sick cycle and these same women wonder why their hearts get broken all the time.
Not a surprise and certainly not rare female behavior. |
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Zip
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| Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Youth Riot wrote: | Hey Zip,
How can you really tell when a girl is faking it?
This happens all the time to me. Whenever I finished having sex with a girl and say goodbye to her, she ends up texting me a compliment like "Damn." or "Having sex with you last nite was awesome." Am I doing something right or is she just trying to stroke my ego? If it's the latter, why would a girl lie about that? It's retarded. |
Because women like to make a guy believe he is awesome in bed.
Because when we don't fake it, guys get disappointed in themselves and we transfer that disappointment and take it personally.
Not totally our fault. |
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Zip
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| Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 8:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Madals wrote: | Could you please define the different feelings a women will have when:
a) harmless flirting
b) Flirting with "intent"
Also, how would you suggest moving from a to b?
Madals |
How we feel during Harmless Flirting: It's safe. It's not scary or needy or possessive, and it builds comfort and attraction. It's what we down south call "cousin flirting." It's where you're bantering and messing with each other verbally and physically... but it's not sexual. Well, cousin flirting in the rural south may not be completely non-sexual... but I digress.
How we feel during flirting with "intent.": If you've gone through the proper stages before this... and it's calibrated... it's hot. Direct is nice.
However, starting off with flirting with intent is hot for a same night pull. It works if you're confident, and you use some direct game tactics (like my called-shot technique.)
Moving from A to B is kindof like Vin DiCarlo's Kino Escalation Ladder. You start with Incidental Class 1, which comes across as incidental or harmless contact with arms or hands. Palm reading, shaking hands, light touching of her arm to emphasize points. Then, you move to Overt Class 1, which is clearly OVERT. You take her hand and lead her through the club, you hold hands.
The incidental is not threatening but sets up the stage for the overt. So it is with moving from A to B. |
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Zip
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| Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Beschatten wrote: | Zip, this is crucial.
As a chick, when you meet a guy or see one, how long does it take to determine that you may sleep with him.
Like do you have a trigger in your mind that goes "Oh damn, I want him, lets see what he is all about".
Like as you know, I'm sure most guys go "I would fuck her, sure" when they see a chick that's really hot. And that is the basis for us talking to a girl |
Beschatten and I spoke on the phone about this issue... but I'll tell you what I said so it may help others.
Here's how I will explain how a girl will subconsciously and consciously react to two different men.
Man A is hot. As in, instantly physically attractive to her and she will immediately start fantasizing about him (whether that's getting married or getting hot and heavy or simply kissing him.) As soon as he crosses her path... she will start to think about the possibilities in the future with this man.
Man B is normal. If Man A is around, she's not going to initially give a shit about Man B.
However, (and here's the fun part...) if she's hanging out with Man A and Man B, and Man B shows more personality or spark or character and Man A is not showing much of anything... she will switch her attraction to Man B. I've had this personally happen many times. This switch can happen in 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes... I'm sure it can happen in 3 with someone who has some great game. |
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Loso
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 2:56 pm Post subject: |
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So women obviously talk to other women (their friends) about men they like and other issues about men, but when a woman tells you that she discussed with girl A things about you.
Basically i had a small disagreement with a girl i've been flirting and gaming, we didn't speak for a week and abit, but then resumed contact after she made the effort. We then got back to usual, and over drinks I asked her why she didn't contact me sooner and she said that her friend told her not to speak to me to soon, and should wait for me to contact her.
this came across as something a friend would tell a friend, imo, yours Zip??? |
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Zip
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Loso wrote: | So women obviously talk to other women (their friends) about men they like and other issues about men, but when a woman tells you that she discussed with girl A things about you.
Basically i had a small disagreement with a girl i've been flirting and gaming, we didn't speak for a week and abit, but then resumed contact after she made the effort. We then got back to usual, and over drinks I asked her why she didn't contact me sooner and she said that her friend told her not to speak to me to soon, and should wait for me to contact her.
this came across as something a friend would tell a friend, imo, yours Zip??? |
Of course! Women tell other women not to rush in and call a guy we like too soon or too often. I tell women not to call a man too soon or too often. It comes across as needy, expressing intent and interest too soon and in too great an amount.
This is absolutely normal. Girls say this to other girls alllllll the time. When a girl waits and lets a man make the contact... it's allowing the man to be the hunter. It's a natural role that men play, and there are theories out there that if a woman steals that hunter role for the man, it will subconsciously turn the man off. There are always exceptions, and I'm an exception to this rule, but I'd be lying if I didn't generally agree with the theory.
Want to know all there is to know about girl game? Read "The Rules." It's the female version of "The Game." |
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Madals
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Arrogance and cockyness, how do they come across to different types of women? |
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Mr E
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| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Zip,
can you please give me a little help to give me more confidence. I go out sometimes and just hang around at the bar, in this state of paralysis, thinking to myself "you asshole, go over and get blown out but do somethiing, anything!!!"
And then I blow myself out ten times more than the babes do, by simply having the negative expectation that says,
"Jesus, that hot babe over there is just SO OUT OF MY REACH, why even bother going over, saying hi, and then getting non responsive or negligible response or a nasty response/
How do I increase my confidence in myself so that I go over to the woman in positive frame and enjoy the experience and not go into cardicac arrest  ?
Muchas gracias
 |
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Loso
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| Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 11:55 am Post subject: |
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| Zip wrote: | | Loso wrote: | So women obviously talk to other women (their friends) about men they like and other issues about men, but when a woman tells you that she discussed with girl A things about you.
Basically i had a small disagreement with a girl i've been flirting and gaming, we didn't speak for a week and abit, but then resumed contact after she made the effort. We then got back to usual, and over drinks I asked her why she didn't contact me sooner and she said that her friend told her not to speak to me to soon, and should wait for me to contact her.
this came across as something a friend would tell a friend, imo, yours Zip??? |
Of course! Women tell other women not to rush in and call a guy we like too soon or too often. I tell women not to call a man too soon or too often. It comes across as needy, expressing intent and interest too soon and in too great an amount.
This is absolutely normal. Girls say this to other girls alllllll the time. When a girl waits and lets a man make the contact... it's allowing the man to be the hunter. It's a natural role that men play, and there are theories out there that if a woman steals that hunter role for the man, it will subconsciously turn the man off. There are always exceptions, and I'm an exception to this rule, but I'd be lying if I didn't generally agree with the theory.
Want to know all there is to know about girl game? Read "The Rules." It's the female version of "The Game." |
I think I worded that wrong, because I meant her being so honest and actually admitting that she and her friend spoke about the situation, thus telling her not to speak to me to soon, is something that she would only admit to me if she considered me as a friend, and not as more.
TBH it was really off putting for me hearing her be so honest, almost an indirect LJBF.
what you reckon??
thanks. |
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WillDream
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| Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Zip.
Do you think some girls need us to be a bit more "AFC" than others? I've been gaming this girl, but like Neil and Lisa, I almost fucked it up. When I say sweet things, give her attention and etcera, she wants me more.
By the way, she has a boyfriend, but she says she wants me. That she never forgot me, blah blah. Also, she is afraid of trying because she put in her mind that I'd leave her or get tired of her. Her boyfriend is a total wussy, does everything she wants, is always with her.
What can I do to make her feel secure and at the same time, keep the attraction that I know she has... Or the feelings. I really care for her, and I wouldn't leave or hurt her.
I've been much more AFC recently, and it is bringing us closer, she is pondering breaking up with her boyfriend. At the same time, I will never leave some facets of the game, like my bodylanguage and voice tone, and my attitude in general. Can I be sweet like afc's usually are and still confident and a man? Do you think some girls need different game?
Also, i'm afraid of making her cheat on her boyfriend, she is afraid of being alone with me now because of the same reason. At the same time, I know she also cares for him.
How do I make her choose me? And if I can, how do I make her forget about him? (I know he'll fuck it a bit too by himself, because he will get really needy and tell her all sort of gay things like: I can't leave without, LULZ!
Thanks in advance. I'm in the game not for girls, but to find love. And I do love her, I could be one of the few guys who gets his one-itis. I really need your help.
EDIT: Er... I know we weren't supposed to ask questions about one-itis, of the like: "OMG I WANT HER SO MUCH HOW CAN I GET HER BACK. Etcera. But this is different. No, not special, just a different situation from the usual LJBF. I got away from her, she started talking to me recently. Let us just pretend I've been gaming her like any others of the girls I game. And if this goes badly, yes, I will fuck 20 or so girls. |
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zhukaching
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| Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:24 am Post subject: |
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hi zip, i am trying to figure out stuff for direct day game, and i need your help
how would a girl feel if I use a direct opener like and after a while in the interaction I show her that I lose some interest to her because of what she said? Is that a kind of push pull or is it just weird?
Thanks so much
zhu |
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