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mapper
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Joined: 21 Jun 2009
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 Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:48 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for such a prompt reply. Like I said before, I know it's overly analytical of me. It just threw me off when we've been having really long messages, and then my last one was practically discarded. I think maybe she just got tired of the same format of listing everything we've been up to then responding.
What really worries me is that this is a definite case of one-itis. It was a case of mutually really falling for each other, and haven't liked a girl this much in a long time (if ever), so I'm just worried about fucking up. Although saying that I had some moments of being paranoid before (before she moved away) and she consistently proved her attraction for me. I'd just like to get out of the mindset of monitoring my own actions (which I'd reached, but now this long-distance thing has kind of bought it back out of me). |
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Fin
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 852
Location: Aberdeen.
Reputation: 132.3
votes: 9
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| Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:10 pm Post subject: |
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| mapper wrote: | Thanks for such a prompt reply. Like I said before, I know it's overly analytical of me. It just threw me off when we've been having really long messages, and then my last one was practically discarded. I think maybe she just got tired of the same format of listing everything we've been up to then responding.
What really worries me is that this is a definite case of one-itis. It was a case of mutually really falling for each other, and haven't liked a girl this much in a long time (if ever), so I'm just worried about fucking up. Although saying that I had some moments of being paranoid before (before she moved away) and she consistently proved her attraction for me. I'd just like to get out of the mindset of monitoring my own actions (which I'd reached, but now this long-distance thing has kind of bought it back out of me). |
If your falling for her in a bad way, then watch out, if you are falling for her in a more positive light, i.e. in a healthy way.
Then relax and enjoy, that's all I can say (Y) |
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mapper
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Joined: 21 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Fin!
Yeah it's def in a healthy way, was just looking for some insight into non-face-to-face interactions.
Cheers for all the help  |
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SCAN
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Joined: 13 Jun 2009
Posts: 6
Location: RHODE ISLAND
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| Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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Hello, Two weeks ago,I have started to open sets. I am getting IOI's and # closing; but the numbers are not sticking. Then this Saturday night came and I try going out alone. I completely froze and didn't talk to anybody.
I think I screwed up but not doing warm up sets when I walked in.
What do you feel is the best way to overcome the freeze? |
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carioca
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Joined: 21 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Hi, I already introduced myself, I'm a foreigner, having been here in NYC since december of last year, and I'm kind of good looking, despite being very bad with girls. Sometimes, usually more than 3 times a week I got a girl looking at me in the subway, I think this is IOIs , bc if they weren't they would not keep looking, I also have the habit to look at people a lot, instead of americans that are always looking outside the window or their own stuff (books, etc).
What should I do? I have no idea how to approach in that kind of place, bc it could I fear and It seens too agressive to come near the person and start asking something (obvious), should I look back and send an smile? what after that? i dont know which is better for subway. I just started reading the game (1st book) |
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jfouellet
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Joined: 27 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Earlier in the thread some person named magaca mentions that he is a 17 year old man thats really bad with women. This resembles my situation in a lot of ways, me being an 18 year old guy who had 2 girlfriends (3 days :S and 2 weeks). I have seen shows such as Keys to the vip and The Pickup Artist, but, although I do understand the concept of opening sets and such and now the 3 second rule I must respect, I am not sure what to do once the set is open. In short terms, I would probably look like Spoon from Pickup Artist season 1 but with a little more class. I am, in my opinion, a good looking person but I do not want to rely on my looks to seduce women.
If either of you could explain what comes after an opener and theories such as the negs, I would greatly appreciate it |
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Fin
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 852
Location: Aberdeen.
Reputation: 132.3
votes: 9
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| Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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| SCAN wrote: | Hello, Two weeks ago,I have started to open sets. I am getting IOI's and # closing; but the numbers are not sticking. Then this Saturday night came and I try going out alone. I completely froze and didn't talk to anybody.
I think I screwed up but not doing warm up sets when I walked in.
What do you feel is the best way to overcome the freeze? |
"The freeze" is nothing more than aproach anxiety, for me it was quite literally just manning up and doing it, honestly nowadays, I'm fucking terrified when I cold approach first time in the day, but I man up and 3 seconds in, I just relax completely and enjoy myself.
For you it may be gradually de-sensitizing yourself, such as approaching people to ask the time, the doing the same with opinion openers, then transitioning etc...
It's a very personnal question I would suggest searching around the forums first, and see if their is anything specefically useful to you.
Hope it helps. (Y) |
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aaron_c
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Joined: 19 Jul 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:08 am Post subject: |
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Hey guys, I'm thinking I'm gonna go for a girl that works at the gym I work out at. I'm not very big like most others there seem to be, but not tiny either (6'1 170ish), so my lack of being ripped has had me questioning this but I'm gonna go for it anyway.
Any specific advice on this? She will be in the office, which is open and within feet of the water fountain and several other things, so I walk by it every couple minutes. I'm probably way overthinking this, but just wondered what strategy would be best. I'm thinking I may just go with something simple like "so are you as interesting as you are cute?", i dunno. as stated in another thread, i've been 'out of the game' for like 4 years, so I'm more on the clueless side lol.
thanks |
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happygambit
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Joined: 12 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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i have this girl that said she likes me
thing is i was in a bad week so i didnt meet with her and when i was free i've found out she has a new bf
thing is she likes the guy, but she says she likes me, but she doesnt know what to do cause she doesnt wanna go out with some other dude while she is still with that guy
altough she realises that if she wont see me, eventually she will loose me
what should i do?
i dont really wanna break them, especially that i dont know the guy, maybe he is a good one and i hate doing shit to good ppl |
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Madals
Moderator
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 1278
Location: Where you wish you were!
Reputation: 182
votes: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:26 am Post subject: |
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| carioca wrote: | Hi, I already introduced myself, I'm a foreigner, having been here in NYC since december of last year, and I'm kind of good looking, despite being very bad with girls. Sometimes, usually more than 3 times a week I got a girl looking at me in the subway, I think this is IOIs , bc if they weren't they would not keep looking, I also have the habit to look at people a lot, instead of americans that are always looking outside the window or their own stuff (books, etc).
What should I do? I have no idea how to approach in that kind of place, bc it could I fear and It seens too agressive to come near the person and start asking something (obvious), should I look back and send an smile? what after that? i dont know which is better for subway. I just started reading the game (1st book) |
On the subway is easy. If she is looking at you then just give her a smile. Just smile back at people for a week. You will start to realise how cool that is and how everyone likes it, then start to jut say "hi".
Again, you will get comfortable with "hi" and at that point you can start to initiate conversation. How about saying something like "People don't seem to smile at each other much here, what's up with that?". From that, you can go on to talk about you moving to NYC, what you think of it, even ask where a good night out is (then number close and invite her out with you).
Madals |
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Madals
Moderator
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 1278
Location: Where you wish you were!
Reputation: 182
votes: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:30 am Post subject: |
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| jfouellet wrote: | Earlier in the thread some person named magaca mentions that he is a 17 year old man thats really bad with women. This resembles my situation in a lot of ways, me being an 18 year old guy who had 2 girlfriends (3 days :S and 2 weeks). I have seen shows such as Keys to the vip and The Pickup Artist, but, although I do understand the concept of opening sets and such and now the 3 second rule I must respect, I am not sure what to do once the set is open. In short terms, I would probably look like Spoon from Pickup Artist season 1 but with a little more class. I am, in my opinion, a good looking person but I do not want to rely on my looks to seduce women.
If either of you could explain what comes after an opener and theories such as the negs, I would greatly appreciate it |
The best advice I can give to you is to read some books.
Personally I would recommend "Jugglers conversational Jujitsu" and "Vin DiCarlo - the attraction code"
Madals |
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Madals
Moderator
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 1278
Location: Where you wish you were!
Reputation: 182
votes: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:36 am Post subject: |
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| aaron_c wrote: | Hey guys, I'm thinking I'm gonna go for a girl that works at the gym I work out at. I'm not very big like most others there seem to be, but not tiny either (6'1 170ish), so my lack of being ripped has had me questioning this but I'm gonna go for it anyway.
Any specific advice on this? She will be in the office, which is open and within feet of the water fountain and several other things, so I walk by it every couple minutes. I'm probably way overthinking this, but just wondered what strategy would be best. I'm thinking I may just go with something simple like "so are you as interesting as you are cute?", i dunno. as stated in another thread, i've been 'out of the game' for like 4 years, so I'm more on the clueless side lol.
thanks |
You are way over thinking this 
If your not feeling confident go for an opinion opener. You work out at the gym so I am guessing your body is quite good. Maybe something like "What do you reckon, would I look better with bigger pecks or bigger biceps? " (obviously fill in to your strong points) |
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Madals
Moderator
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 1278
Location: Where you wish you were!
Reputation: 182
votes: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:39 am Post subject: |
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| happygambit wrote: | i have this girl that said she likes me
thing is i was in a bad week so i didnt meet with her and when i was free i've found out she has a new bf
thing is she likes the guy, but she says she likes me, but she doesnt know what to do cause she doesnt wanna go out with some other dude while she is still with that guy
altough she realises that if she wont see me, eventually she will loose me
what should i do?
i dont really wanna break them, especially that i dont know the guy, maybe he is a good one and i hate doing shit to good ppl |
What you should do is decide if you want her or not. I can't tell you if you should break them up to be with her or if you should leave them together, you have to decide. Once you have, post again so we can help you achieve what you want. |
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Wave_139
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Joined: 24 Jul 2009
Posts: 13
Reputation: 2.1
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| Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 6:50 am Post subject: |
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Alright so here it goes, I have begun my first time of being a PUA, and i set out to do the newbie mission, you know where the AFC goes out and says hi or tries to say hi to 20 women. Well, I found that going to one of the malls where the HB 8-10 go and well, I found it way to intimidating, so I went and switched up to another mall where the HB 5-7, but I still only got 3 or 4 girls after saying hi, do you know what I am doing wrong? And also, later on in the night, at this fun park, I talked to a girl on her shift like this:
Me: Hi
Her: Hey, How are you?
Me: great (tired), and why do you sound so tired hmm? Busy?
Her: Yeah, its been like busy all day
Me: Well come on be cheerful, but is it always like this?
Her: Yeah, its usually okay
Me: Why dont you work at the mall?
Her: I did, but it isnt that great
Me: Really? Why not?
Her: blah blah blah
Me: Well do you go out?
Her: not much i just relax with my friends and all
Me: well if you ever want to go out you should try club purgatory.....
I was trying but it didnt go so well what did i do wrong guys? |
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enlightment
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Joined: 27 Jul 2009
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:27 am Post subject: |
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Hi, my name its enlightment and here is my issue:
I'd just recently started a little adventure with one of my co-workers who i've been knowing for over half of a year.
it started with me attempting to kiss her. she had shown me several IOIs prior to this so i just went for it. she rejected the kiss but it was cool because i didn't really liked her that much, reason why i was cool as hell to her even after this incident.
she stopped the flirting but since i acted like her rejection didn't phase me she started flirting again. this time i grabbed her ass while playing around with her and because she didn't mind this i went for the kiss one more time and it worked.
cool. so we kiss one more time in our next encounter at work (all this is happening privately). third encounter i ended up fingering her. 4th enounter finger her again.
i didn't see her for about a week after our last encounter. then we meet again at work and i'm thinking "we're going to do it again, i'm ready to sex her up". nothing. she didn't seem to be looking for an opportunity to fool around. so we didn't.
next time we meet i act somewhat thristy because i really wanted to do stuff with her again. i'm sure she noticed my efforts. she decided not to please me.
i'm thinking to my self, "ok, so i fucked up the game, i was acting cool and careless in the beginning and this made her want me, now, i've shown her that i want her and she doesn't want me anymore, because she can have me anytime she wants."
cool, i accepted my faith and got ready to move on. next day after our last encounter she decides to text me.
"fuck!" i'm thinking; if she is trying to blow me off, "Why the fuck is she texting me?" i'm also not so good at the texting game but it went something like this:
girl: (My Name)!
(after 10m) me: hey
girl: What's up?
(after 20m) shit. wats gewd
girl: i'm drinking and i thot of you
(after 5m) why thanks
girl: so what are you doing?
(after 5m) watching a movie at my girls crib
girl: lol i didnt know you had a girlfriend
(after 5m) i dnt
girl: what's "my girl"?
(after 20m) im on my way home. ill prolly see you at work tomorrow. good night
next day at work nothing happened between us. i didn't look for the opportunity like i had before for fear of being rejected and she didn't look for it either.
i want to talk to this girl but only if she likes me back still, not because i'm afraid of rejection but because i work with her and wouldn't want to make going to work a pain in the ass.
how can i built rapport with her again? and how would i notice that she wants me or not?
thank you. |
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