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owensra
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 28 Sep 2009
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:37 am Post subject: Adding value |
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Hi Adam, I found a quote from one of your videos that can really help me out if you could answer this question. Here is your statement: I get blown out because I cant think of a way to build comfort with someone, but as long as I can think of a way to build comfort, as long as I can find a way to add value to a specific situation, then Im in and once Im in I can break rapport.
My question is, whats is going through your mind when your trying to figure out how to add value to a new set during day game and night game. thanks |
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Sand Tiger
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 12 Apr 2009
Posts: 105
Location: Georgia, USA
Reputation: 23.9
votes: 2
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| Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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| So i met this hb8 on facebook/myspace a year 1/2 ago. I # closed her. (before i learned of PUA) We finally met in June of this year. We've been texting/calling more often since then. I wanna ask her to be my girlfriend. Some extra info: I live in GA, she lives in Ohio. A bit a far away, but a lot of my family lives up there. How often should I text/call? |
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AandFdrewC
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 02 Oct 2009
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:04 pm Post subject: hey adam help me out? |
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Hey adam i already adressed this on youtube to you but u told me that u dont give out personal information on youtube and told me to post this up on forum lol. To repeat my question im 15 years old and my gr 9 and 10 years were pretty bad as i didnt have much confidence and i hung out with a bad crowd. Now that im learning the game i have made a great deal of new friends and have become much better with girls, but i seem to have the need to show all the hot girls in my school ive changed and its killing my game i get all nervous and shy. What do you suggest i mean i have the social proof thing down alredy but i cant back it up.
- Andrew |
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dw3llz
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 181
Reputation: 41.7
votes: 1
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| Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:15 am Post subject: |
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Dear Adam,
I saw a BBC documentary with you a few days back and you were talking to this girl from America who was very fine. Anywho, the cameraman asked you if you were gaming her now you said ya. Afterwards you said and thats how you game a girlfriend. I was wondering if u had any specific tips on gaming girlfriends? |
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desertfox565
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
Posts: 120
Location: Indonesia
Reputation: 37.6
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| Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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Heya man,
I don't really know where to start with this, so I'll try my best to explain the situation and make it easier for you. 
So, 2 months ago, this girl actually blown me off, after 8 months of unclear relationship (I've confessed that I like her, and she accepts it, but not until
the point that we're in a BF/GF relationship), and it seems to be game over. I've posted about this girl in your thread long long time ago, and u've told me
it's a dead set. But... things happened...
2 weeks after u answered my question, and I've started to forgot about her.. she reinitiated contact. So, I called her and we had a good chat and I prayed
for her (prayed!! haha..) and then she departed to the capital city to continue her study in the college.
Since then, we had a very few chat, but each chat is the best conversations that I could ever had with her.. until... 3 days before my birthday, she
initiated contact and wrote on my Facebook wall.
"oy, mr charming, thursday is ur birthday, huh? I'm going back to Bali around that time, so please invite me to your birthday party ya? hahaha..xp". There's
more, but not so necessary as this sentence. So I replied to her number, and she was like. "Uummmm,why don't u reply in Facebook? u're so mean!" (I was
thinking, why should I write in Facebook, it's visible to public, if she wants it to be seen, it should has different meaning. Then I replied with
something simple, tease her to wear something cute and I off to sleep. At 0.03, she texted me "Happy bday,hehe"
I thanked her the next morning and she didn't reply. Who cares??
I took some time the next day to reply to her wall comment, and she asked me back "when's ur piano concert?". I said december, and she said "december?? I'm
coming back again to Bali in December, please invite me to ur concert, I want to see ur performing in the front of millions of people, haha". I think "hey
it's on again?"
So since that day, I had a few text banter with her, I asked her good questions, but she doesn't respond to that part of my text (following some basics of
your text game format), and she responded with something like "yeah, u have ur birthday and u haven't treated me anything", I replied again but she doesn't
respond. The another day, I told her that I was in a cool place and she texted me back with something "why don't u take me out with you? booo, u're such a
mean guy, haha" and not so much.
I catch this big IOI and asked her out the next day. She said okay, but a few hours later she said that she's really really sorry that she forgot that she
has to prepare for her exam and she has some course to take, she was so disappointed, and she jokingly told me, "why don't u tell me earlier?? I'm a busy
girl -_-||"
I just think "this is getting cheesy" so I called her and we had normal chat, even talked about kissing a little, and she's the first one to mention! But it
wasn't that great and I could sense a little bit boredom in her voice, and my credit ran out and the connection was lost. I tried to push the interaction
further with text, but I don't get a reply.
The next day, I tried to anchor the situation with good morning greeting, gave her a "hug" and wish her to have a great day". Still no reply...
This what confuses me, the next day, she told my friend that she changed her number, and gave her new number, but she didn't give me! It's her final day in
my town before she got back to her study, so I just asked her number from my friend and texted her to hang out, to the old and new numb, with no reponses at
all!!
What does this mean,Adam??
For background info, she's a busy, quite nervous girl, and even in her college, she doesn't go out a lot, and my friend also have a few text banter with
her, but even she doesn't always get a reply, so it's not only me. We had met twice before, henceforth it's not a full flake.
What's your thoughts on the matter, Signor? And what should I do? Just be friends with her?
Thanks so much for everything, man
Best pal,
Steven |
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AceofSpades07
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 05 Oct 2008
Posts: 259
Location: Chicago, Il
Reputation: 52.4
votes: 2
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Adam had i quick question for you one some difference it technique.
When gaming I usually always go first for as much comfort as I can pretty much following your (C-R) +Q+SE. I find that when opening with and going for comfort it gives me a lot more options where I can take the interaction, like if I want to pivot the girl, use the set for social proof etc...
My best wing at the moment really disagrees with this and goes right for attraction with any girl he approaches. He says that I should try a lot more of it in my game but I dont really agree with this because 1. it seems like you can get more women this way throught the social proof factor that you can really generate and 2. I personaly think you get higher qaulity girls
Can you lay out the differences between one and the other because were in somwhat of a friendly deadlock on the subject. We both get laid plenty with our respective veiwpoints and actually may possibly have a very good dynamic together when in the field. But what may be the stregths and weaknesses of both
Thanks a lot |
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0oAshleyo0
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 23 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:06 pm Post subject: Breaking Rapport |
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I just checked a couple of articles, including one by you to get a better understanding of breaking rapport and I realised I'd just done this with a pretty sexually aggressive girl. however, this other girl isn't and I'm stumped for what to say to her, I feel like I've got nothing to go on (theres no way I could say anything about I'm not having sex with her, she's an ex so I'd freak her out)... are there a couple of standard lines I can tweak!
I don't want you to do the pick up for me, I just need a push here.
At the mo I'd go with... "man, I can't believe how much things have changed for me in the last couple of years, I know we're both doing well career wise but I'm definitely not your type anymore. And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't take my shit and I wouldn't take yours, and we'd argue all the time, I'd win of course! So we're prob not right for each other now. How have things gone for you in the last couple of years?"
Background if you need it...
We always got on well, she split with me because it hurt her that I wanted to travel without her. Now shes almost blocking me. I'd at least like her to be friends and comfortable with meeting up, but I've gotta break down her barriers.
Thanks man |
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alpha_seeker
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 18
Reputation: 26.3
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| Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:59 am Post subject: |
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Hey Adam, I am a college student and I noticed that I'm not as social as I thought I was. I'm not really shy or nervous around people in general, but I don't really say much and I don't talk that much unless I really really have to. I also noticed that most of my conversations tend to be very dull to both guys and girls.
So are there any drills, or tips that you can recommend me to develop my social skills and to help me become funnier, more humorous and be a better flirt with girls? |
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kentheman
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 30
Reputation: 22.4
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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Greetings Adam. Good to know you're still gracing us with your knowledge.
I just screwed up with this girl. I won't lie, I'm hurt. I'm pondering how/if I should LJBF her considering the only way I can contact her now is through sms and Facebook, although she might not respond.
But looking back at our interaction I noticed that she responded well to disqualifiers and negs, which made her qualify and DHV herself. Throughout that whole time, she was into me and I kino'd her to the point where I was pretty much fondling her butt, but I didn't go further because I really wasn't interested in her and only began consciously gaming her in the last few weeks out of the five months I've known her in college (I'm graduating next week). It was really thanks to following your formula I suppose. Only just last weekend, I had been smsing her non-stop for 3 days as she was keen to talk to me. Now she's hardly replying and maybe even stopped.
I seem to be stuck. I didn't kiss her even though I thought things were going well before because I thought I had to show interest after qualification. Where things got bad was when I "rewarded" her with SOIs after she qualified herself. Apparently this pushed her away and now she's not attracted to me anymore. I've pinpointed my SOIs to be the start of my problems so I'm seriously considering not using SOIs anymore as it verbalised my attraction and caused me to get invested and act AFC when she did not react.
What struck me is that before verbalising how "impressed" I was, I was able to kino escalate her to the point where she didn't mind me touching her on her back, legs, butt and face because I'm assuming she did not think I was interested. I'm convinced I could've kissed her. But after smsing something like "Wow I like mature people. They're easy to talk to" when I qualified her based on maturity, she reacted negatively by not replying. And this was repeated.
So should I have discarded SOIs and rewarded her with escalating kino instead? Would it have led to a kiss and more? Should I LJBF her now?
She's not a knockout but she definitely rates as a 7.5-8 for me and whenever she posts updates on her facebook status, about 5-10 AFCs will leave comments immediately. She's also has a non-caring attitude which I guess counts as a hot girl mentality which means she acts differently from other girls so I'm not sure if what happened here is applicable to all my interactions. I'm led to believe that my negging + other qualities was what attracted her, but after I verbalised interest, she categorised me under "Friend".
Thanks Adam. I hope you find the time for this. |
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kentheman
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 30
Reputation: 22.4
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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Oh one more thing Adam. This one's short I promise.
How do you LJBF a girl immediately? I'm seriously thinking about doing that to all girls I know, then building attraction later. Also, is it fine to LJBF a girl after she put me in the friendzone? I've tried this on 2 girls who LJBF'd me and were acting cold, by telling them "Make no mistake, I wasn't interested in you to begin with" (disqualifying them/myself), and both responded really well. In fact I reckon I might be able to build attraction and escalate while I'm friends with them. This "being friends" thing is really starting to sound useful. It's also sounding like an illusion. |
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%Neo%
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
Posts: 14
Reputation: 22.5
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 9:57 pm Post subject: Social Circle |
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I sent you this on facebook but you told me to post it here lolz.
This really attractive girl that I originally friend zoned and put in my social circle is really starting to catch my interest. How do I turn it from friendship to more than that??
-%Neo% |
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V3nu
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 232
Reputation: 37
votes: 1
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:33 am Post subject: |
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| i think Adam forgot about this forum..... |
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DmacIV
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 20 Feb 2009
Posts: 3
Reputation: 13.9
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Adam,
I've been talking to this girl in one of my classes for a while now, shes a HB9.5 and we get along really well together. We text each other all the time in like a playful bantering way and she always calls/texts when shes drunk. She told me she feels so comfortable around me and we flirt alot. One day i asked her whats the longest relationship shes ever been in and she said 5 years, then later that night she said something like "i feel like you had to know that." But i didnt really know what that meant, she also asked me if Im a relationship guy or a hookup guy and i told her it depends on the girl. When it was my bday she left all her friends to come meet up with me and ended up sleeping in my bed but nothing happened. the other night i told her that i felt like i was starting to like her and she gave me the "just got out of a long relationship" speech and said we should just be friends for now and that in order to be in a relationship with someone shed have to know them for atleast 6 months. But she still texts me all the time, ive been making myself less available as of late but to be honest the thought of her has been keeping my up at night. Any advice on how i should proceed? Thanks |
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AFC Adam
Master PUA
Joined: 06 Aug 2008
Posts: 286
Location: Everywhere!
Reputation: 84.1
votes: 11
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| Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 9:03 am Post subject: Re: Situational openers.. |
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| Matija wrote: | You ve sead to me to feel free to repost you here...Well here I am...
Look im having problems with situational openers....I really dont know how to use them and how to practice them...Im using few openers for a month now...And im sick of them....HELP.... |
Hey Matija,
Man, situational openers are the BEST. They are my favorite because you can have fun with them. It is also something we do in every day life to those around us so they come off as most natural.
A situational opener is where you observe a situation/event going on around you and make a comment about it to the person next to you. Here are a few examples:
"Have you noticed how they're playing more Michael Jackson music at the clubs now that he died?" (of course use this if a MJ song comes on)
"It is SO cold in here, aren't you freezing??"
"Oh. My. Look at that guy dancing over there. He might have been a liiiittle overserved tonight."
The idea is just to verbally make note of something and roll with it. Transition on from there and you're good to go!
Give it a try and be creative!
Adam |
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Clayton
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Joined: 08 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:11 am Post subject: |
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Hi Adam
You said when you first started out, you practiced 24/7, 7 days a week for 3 months. Could you describe the actual process of what you did a bit more? Was your practice emphasized more towards day game or night game? And what type of venue(s) would you sarge at (mall, club, bar, street, etc.)? For those 7 or so hours, did you just go to one venue and sarge (for example, a mall), go to several different venues and sarge, or just go about your day normally and sarge as the day went? Also, did you only approach girls you found attractive or did you approach anyone - ugly or hot? I'd would love to hear what you did so I can use that as a loose template.
Thank you so much!!! |
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