Hobbit,

I hope you don't see this as confrontational at all, I appreciate all comments even if I disagree with them. I wasn't trying to suggest you were a notches on the bedpost kind of guy either I meant it as a indication of progress.

I agree with your point on drunk approaches, it is a crutch I need to get rid of but previously I would just get drunk and not approach anyway, probably use it as an excuse. "Why didn't you pull last night?" "Oh I was so drunk". It's not a good look and I don't want to be that guy, so I am drinking to get into a social mood.

Also, I am under no delusion, I do not expect to progress as fast as someone who practices every day. And I am not going to bitch and complain about lack of progress because I know I am not fully committing, or what PUAs perceive as full commitment. But I don't want to go just talk to girls, even if it was successful that doesn't sound like my idea of a good time. Perhaps I am in the wrong place as I don't particularly want to be a PUA, I would rather just develop my social skills and be someone that more people want around. Obviously, I want sex and a potentially a girlfriend but I believe I can get there using my method (or lack of method).

I hope you have further comments as it is good to have a discussion.

I haven't taken anything you said as confrontational. That being said:



I don't want to be a PUA either. I often don't feel comfortable on this website, since the goals here are very different than my own -- you'll never seeing me answer questions geared towards a PUA. I only respond to certain types of posts. Luckily I learned how to do what you describe above naturally. That brings up the issue at hand, though.

You know how people become naturals? Years of a lot of experience. Think of it, they are in K-12 and then sometimes college with females on a daily basis. At any other stage of your life, you'l never really be in *that* type of dynamic. So how do you suppose that you're going to get that much experience by not changing the way you go about things? I don't think I've yet seen one realistic example of someone doing the "I'm going natural!" route on this forum succeeding. Generally they disappear, come back, and realize they wasted their time.

People get too focused on natural, structured, canned, normal, abnormal, blah blah. At this point, there is only practice learning the "rules" to socializing that you were unfortunate not to learn growing up. And that takes mass exposure in lots of various settings with lots of people and females. And I judge this based on my knowledge of learning a skill, therapy given to those who want to improve, and the countless users trying countless methods over my years here.

Hobbit,

I understand where you are coming from. Perhaps you may consider my method more gainful if you knew a bit more about me.

I understand a lot of people come to this site to reinvent themselves. I do not want that, I am what people on this site would call an AFC but I am not at the bottom end of the spectrum. I have had girlfriends, I have had regular sex life, I do have a large group of friends and I do have opportunities to socialise with people. This may seem arrogant but I am aware I am very lucky to have these things. What I am trying to say is that I am not learning from absolute zero. I do already have some social skills, at least enough to make friends.

But still I would like to have more success with women, and I am on a particularly long dry spell. What I have identified is main problem is confidence with women I don't know, I believe I can carry myself through the middle part of set but I also struggle closing. Therefore, it is opening and closing that are really my issues.

Now I believe I currently have a lifestyle where I can become a natural or just better at this. Particularly now I have got over a career hurdle I will be going out to bars/clubs at the weekends and spending more time with my friends. So don't worry I have plenty of opportunities to interact.

I only desire to become "natural" as I believe it will suit me and the type of girls I wish to attract. And I mean "natural" in the sense of another school of PUA not in fact truly natural, perhaps I would be better of saying cocky funny, which in reality is on the appearance of being natural.

That being said I appreciate your view, after all repetition is the father of learning (I know Nas said it, probably someone before him too). If you have any other advice I am all ears.

Hello All,

Right field report from last night. I visited a night club with a few friends and made some approaches. Whilst I had been drinking I managed to control myself so I was by no means drunk. So already a slight progression from my reliance on alcohol.

First approach, was a girl on the dance floor not only was she stunning but she was taller than me so I have to admit slightly intimidating. But I managed to open her and actually find some common ground, she was a bit younger than me so I tried to play on this in a cocky funny kind of way sort "shame you are too young for me" ect. Actually went down well and had a good conversation but really ended up going no where.

Second approach, was in the smoking area. I am sure people know this but it's worth saying again, smoking areas are awesome places to meet girls even if you are a non-smoker such as myself. Began talking to this girl, again had a fair bit in common with her and I was getting on very well. Even starting to build some kind, as I had my hands on her hips. But the guy who was talking to her friend left and so her friend sort of dragged her away. I did try to re-approach her inside but I was sort of stuck as to what to say.

So conclusions on the first approaches were a definite lack of ability to take the next step and even attempt some kind of closing. In hindsight particularly with the 2nd girl I could have got her number as she walked away with her friend.

Final approach, Ok so at this point in the night I was beyond caring and basically went for the apocalypse approach. It was with a women who clearly was looking for it and she herself was approaching most guys. However, she wasn't as easy as I first thought and whilst a lay may have been on the cards she was not worth the groundwork nor could I be bothered as it was about 5am. We had a bit of a dance ect and parted ways when it was clear she would involve some level of work.

Overall relatively happy with my progress but I definitely need to progress into some kind of close. Even a failed attempt would be progress.

Other questions

I wanted an opinion on whether it is a good idea to try to infer that you are a ladys man to girls. Obviously I don't mean saying I have banged a million girls but should you try to give the impression that you are getting a lot of female attention. Why I want to know is because people at work don't particularly know me outside of work so I could potentially build an impression that I am good with girls or at least getting some attention. Do you think this a good/bad idea? And I don't exactly mean lie but give an impression of success.

Second question, Hobbit, if you are still reading, what is your personal approach/philosophy to pick up? I am very interested to hear.

Thanks all

I get to know people and make friends. I then form relationships with the ones I find myself compatible with.



When you act in ways that are successful with women, people are going to automatically assume you've used those skills before.

Hobbit, so you would say you are not a guy that approaches strangers? Probably the best way to meet someone you will have a long term relationship with is your way.

OK, but is it good to play on these assumptions or would a girl be put off if she thought you were promiscuous? Guess it depends on the individual and how it is done.

I talk to strangers, but I don't go out to talk to strangers. I just go about life and talk to the people I'm near.

And I wouldn't know, because I don't act promiscuous. My game is relationship centric. I'm not the person to ask about the other stuff.

OK thanks for your help hobbit. I hope you don't think just because I choose not follow some of your advice I don't appreciate your help.

So did you go through an initial stage where you went out to approach? I no this really doesn't matter to my game I am just curious.

Yes I did, but not for very long. Just long enough to gain some confidence, since I needed inner game work more than anything.

Right progress report, fair bit to tell since my last post.

Winging

So went out to a local bar with a friend, he is not into pickup (I mean this side of pick up, he tries to chat up girls like any guy does). So he began talking to this girl and she had a friend, it was clear the friend would lead the girl he was talking to distraction so I stepped in and began talking to the friend. She was attractive but it was unfortunate she had a boyfriend (who wasn't there). Either way I carried on talking to her so my friend could get the close. Good fun and it made me feel all warm inside to do a selfless act.

Also as I had no chance of a close I took the opportunity to ask her questions about pick up stuff, as a lot of people recommend. Firstly, she did give some good advice although some of it was very nieve as in "just be yourself". But it was interesting and I did learn from her. It is also an interesting conversation and it kept her engaged.

Day/long game

Right so I tried asking this girl out on a date which if you have read my previous posts is unusual as I tend to only do night game.

So I have asked this girl for drinks and she seems very keen yet she is very flakey on nailing down a time ect. I am sort of taking is a lack of genuine intention to go out with me but at the same time I realised I don't really know this girl that well. I have spoken to her a bit but no more than a few conversations, so my plan going forward is to get to know her a bit better without friend zoning myself and then pushing for drinks. She has asked if I have a girlfriend which I am clinging onto as an IOI and I have been flirty with her. I don't think all is lost.

I hope to have more updates soon.