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Bluemoon21
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 16
Reputation: 40.1  
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 Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 12:09 am Post subject: 20 virgin rut |
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Hey guys,
I haven't been on this forum for ages. I just kind of let it fizzle out of my life about 5 months back when I had my heart broken.
But not to talk about that I really need some motivation. Something to get me out of this rut. Because I've got pretty important exams at the moment all I seem to be doing is revising and breakdancing (my release from the stress).
The problem is that I'm 20 and still a virgin; by choice but none the less losing hope.
I'm a good looking guy, play the guitar, surf and breakdance. Surely I should have found a girl by now?? Problem is that for this first time I really (don't know why) need it to mean something..hence I'm ridiculously picky. I've only found two girls I was willing and had a possible chance to lose it to but they both hurt me pretty bad. Since this last time I've felt like I haven't been able to pick up the pieces. The reason why I started this PUA thing was purely to give me the confidence and proficience to actually talk to top league girls as those are the only type of girls I ever seem to go for.
I'm going to N.Carolina to study at uni there in the summer for a year and really want to have lost it by then so I no longer feel held back and can enjoy these things while I'm young..i can't stand the feeling that I'm wasting my young life this way anymore!!
I don't like to moan but if there was anywhere I could get support i figured it'd be here. Any comments or support would be really appreciated.
Blueskiesx |
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Dano
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 28
Reputation: 4.5
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| Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 6:18 am Post subject: |
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Hey Blueskies! I would be happy to think and try to give you something useful, but do you think you could give me some more info first, otherwise I'm kinda shooting in the dark.
You say you don't know why it needs to mean something. But I think it is sort of essential to know what is motivating this belief. Are you afraid if the first time is bad it will damage something? If so, what - what is it you wish to protect? Or is this in the wrong direction?
What went wrong with the two girls that hurt you? Obviously a personal question, which you can ignore, but maybe that would illuminate the issues you want to work on.
Some advice for now: forget about getting laid, that isn't your priority at the moment, finding the right girl is. Start sarging like hell!!, putting yourself out there, doing everything you can to at least meet her. You are leaving anyway, who cares if something embarrassing happens. If you are not intimidated by the notion of sex, and run lighthearted, friendly game, you should be able to at least meet some candidates from which to choose later - so don't get too far ahead of your self.
What you really want, when you arrive in NC, is to have confronted and overcome some fears; sexual experiences will merely be a product of having done so.
Don't sweat your age - once you get the ball rolling, you will be able to make up for lost time no problem, if that is what you decide you want.
You are clearly a good guy - don't be an apologist about this.
All I can think of atm, if you want to, ask anything.
D. |
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Giovanni420
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Posts: 224
Location: Chicago!
Reputation: 34
votes: 2
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| Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 8:36 am Post subject: |
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Blueskies. I know exactly what your going through man. I'm twenty myself, and have never had sex with a lady. First off you can't let it get to you. Who cares man? Go out there, and show them that your demonstrating high value by not sleeping with just any woman that comes your way.
I have huge AA, and recently I've started approaching girls, and making side convos. Two years ago I was incapable of it. Dude, you can do this. The guys on these forums will go completely out of there way to help you man. Don't worry about your virginity, worry about the steps before hand. Approaching, number closing. Then you will have options, and not just force yourself to fuck a girl below your standards.
If you need help, message me man. I'm going through the same exact thing you are. |
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Bluemoon21
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 16
Reputation: 40.1
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| Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:26 am Post subject: |
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Hey!!!
This is still Blueskies by the way.
I presumed that there was an automated e-mail that told me when people were replying to my posts and i just figured no-one replied and never bothered to check.
Thankyou guys for your advice..even if I did receive it late. It really means alot to know that their are people feeling the same way or offering advice on my situation.
I'm now in NC!! I was with a girl just before I left. Getting together had nothing to do with PUAing at all. We used to work together earlier in the summer and I added her in facebook after seeing her ridiculously hot profile picture (shallow ha i know! But i'd always thought she was cute!). And then she started being very flirty, asked me to come drinking with her friends, i suggested a movie at mine after and she said yes. Anyway we then had the most amazing two weeks..some of the best of my life..i told her i was a virgin about half way through and she told me she wished she'd waited too.
So come the last night we come back from a massive bonfire party, I'm on top of her, bought my first condoms (just incase), I really like her, she likes me, she takes my pants down. I tell her it's just not the right time...
Once again this is the first time I've described this to anyone. In return to your Q Dano I don't know why!! Since I watched so many cheesy movies when I was younger I believed that this would be my way of persuading myself that magic )and not just animals fucking all the time..no offense to anyone!) does exist. I know this sounds lame but meh..
The two girls: no.1 - In my gap year she reeeally messed me up. She came back from uni for holidays..[we had a long history where she liked me but I had too much problems on my shoulders.] Had a bf who i knew and used to play bball with. She starts really flirting, telling me we're soulmates, I fall in love but refuse to even tell her to dump him (i think i even told her he would be the better choice because of my low esteemage), no nothing because I don't deal with cheating of any kinds. Anyway she goes back to uni..4 painful weeks later rejection.
No.2 - 1st and 2nd year at uni I'm in love with my best friend. After 2 years i get courage ask her out..she goes weird, treats me bad, eventually tells me i'm not hers and she's not mine.
I'm still trying my best to find this perfect girl and thanks so much for your guys support. Things just seem really bleak sometimes you know? I just got to keep trying a believing i guess.
Sorry about the essay haha!
Blueskies/moon21 |
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Bluemoon21
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 16
Reputation: 40.1
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| Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:35 am Post subject: |
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| P.s.Gio check your pm |
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Snakez
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 17 Mar 2009
Posts: 258
Location: Westside, Cali
Reputation: 43.4
votes: 1
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| Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 6:26 am Post subject: |
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Damn... this forum is full of 20 y/o virgins, I'm also (still) one of them.
First a question: When you say you want to find the perfect girl, do you mean the perfect girl to cancel your v-card, like a casual sex or friends with benefits, or does it have to be someone you can have a romantic relationship with also?
You have to really think about what it is you're looking for if you want to find it; describe the ideal woman you would want to get with, know what qualities you are looking for.
I have also had a few oppurtunities where I could have done it but chose not to; there was this girl I met at a party and kick it with her sometimes, and I used to mess around with someone at work. While it was fun with them at the time, I felt that if I went for sex with them it would be settling for less than the experience that I would want to have. This, and conbined with it the fact that I'd rather be with someone else and if I went for one of these 2, it would only be because I felt I couldn't get what I wanted, and was doing it just for an easy way to lose it, kinda pathetic.
I want to get with a chick who has a very chill, relaxed, naturally sexual vibe with me, someone who is not a materialist and appreciates the experiences we have for what they are. Ideally it would either be a situational one night stand, like hooking up with a foreign exchange student before she goes back to Japan forever, or an ongoing casual relationship.
Submitted via mobile web in Los Angeles |
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