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DancingCow
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 Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:23 pm Post subject: 18 Year Old Virgin |
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Although being a virgin has not neccesarily made me nervous around girls I'm getting a bit of anxiety about my first time and if I should tell the girl I'm a virgin.
Now although I know not all the girls I know have had sex... most of them have by now. I'm almost about to finish my senior year in high school and still haven't done it... which doesn't mean I'm not good with girls its just I've never had a serious relationship (which most girls at my school need to give it up) and every slutty girl I've gotten with only end up giving me head.
So here is my question. How do I tell the girl I'm still a virgin (/ should I) without looking like a loser my first time. This summer I'm getting a senior house with my friends at the New Jersey shore which means there will be plenty of oppurtunities to get laid. But when I do should I tell the girl beforehand? I mean I'd rather her know its my first time so she doesn't think I suck or something or if I dont last long my first time. But how do i tell her this without scaring her or making it seem like that since its my first time I'm going to be some clingy loverboy. Should i even say anything? Maybe after we do it?
Please help! |
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beno101
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| Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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Not gonna pretend im some sort of expert...can understand your anxiety but just go with the flow...if your just gonna sleep with the girl to get your end away then dont say anything if u like the girl then its up 2 you...difficult to say but you will know when the time comes.....
Focus on pleasing her first...tease her a bit...dont go rushing in...2 steps forward....1 step back....girls love the build up to the sex. So the Kissing, forplay, the touching...be a tease!
hope that helps |
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smartass
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| Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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| My advice would be to not say anything until after... The "first time" carries a lot of emotional baggage with it. That much pressure could scare her away. On the other hand, if she says she's a virgin first... that's another story. |
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Joe19
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| Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Ya I wouldn't say anything either. I've got laughed at b4 when I told a girl that... |
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Spark89
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| Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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Man im nearly 20 and I havent done that yet!
Last time I got close I thought about it too much, I mean WAAAAY too much, I was like OH DUDE IM GONNA GET LAID, HOW, WHAT etc. You just get real nervous. Then she senses it, its not attractive. Also excalate the kino well, I didnt and it didnt work out 
Spark. |
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caron
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| Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:20 am Post subject: |
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as a general rule, i wouldnt burden her with that until after. It can be seen as LMR on your part, which usually comes from the girls.
If you do decide to tell her though, I'd say something like 'you're my first, so you better treat me good' |
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Lift
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Joined: 21 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 8:22 am Post subject: |
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| ye buddy, im in the exact same position as you, anyone know ny good books on improving your skills in the bed ? i dnt want to look completely hopeless haha |
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coolguy777
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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1) Don't tell them your a virgin.
2) AFTER you bang the girl, tell her she's your first. |
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Fedster
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:08 am Post subject: |
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Agree with above posters.
Other than that, my two cents:
When your first time comes around:
Breathe, Relax and Enjoy  |
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Jon Paul
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:36 am Post subject: |
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yep i agree with the previous comments aswell,
Dont tell her, she might be thinking that you want to get all loved up after it which she may not want. So dont say anything unless its nessecarry  |
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Rishi
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| Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:51 am Post subject: |
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I'm glad I stumbled across your thread. I'm a girl, and I've "liberated" one or two guys when I was that age. The key to the girl not being bothered by this is having a high level of attraction and comfort before you tell her.
(I also used to work at an adult toy store and like half of my job was giving people sex advice. I feel like I'm on pretty solid ground here, so I might write a lot, sorry in advance.)
One or two people above my post told you to not tell her until after. I think the only reason a guy would do this is that he is afraid of losing her interest, so it's a chump move. An AFC move, even, because it means you'd be worried about scaring her away. If you've gamed her well and she has a high level of interest and attraction, you can tell her. The timing is important, though- I'll get into that in a bit.
One thing you have to your advantage is that most 18 year old guys are still pretty inexperienced in bed, and they don't have the maturity to care about her pleasure. At that age they are usually REALLY BAD lays. If you're mentally mature about this, you can stand out from all those other high school jerks, and it won't matter that you're a virgin.
So, assume that you've gamed her well, and she's hot for you. If you have the opportunity, I'd suggest you start with a heavy make-out session. (It's beach week... perfect opportunity. Especially awesome if you can set up a camp fire or something. Not because it's romantic, but because you're adventurous and you want to share the adventure with her.) This is how you can start to figure out what turns her on... where she likes to be kissed, is she rough and passionate or slow and romantic, etc. Stop for now.
The next day or whenever you think she's ready, do this all over again, and up the intensity a bit- remove some clothes, and bring her to orgasm if you can but don't have sex with her. (Hands, tounge, etc.) Your frame is that you are a sensual being who loves women and wants to give them pleasure. If you don't know what you're doing, ask her if something feels good/ what she wants you to do. So afterward, if she is cuddling with you and basking in post-orgasmic bliss. Talk to her and build some rapport. If she's really impressed with you, you can tell her. By now she should be so into you that it won't matter. Alternately, do this, and then tell her before you lay her but after she is already really turned on.
The event itself- buy a few extra condoms and learn how to put them on beforehand, and/ or let her put it on for you. Girl-on-top and doggy style are probably the easiest/ simplest positions for you to do. Most guys don't last that long their first time. If you engage in a lot of foreplay it won't be as big of a deal. If you need to, switch positions or activities.
Anyway, lots of guys make it into college and beyond and still have a V-card. You're better off than some. Good luck! |
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moony
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| Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 1:51 am Post subject: |
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| ya dont worry about being a virgin, if you're in the situation dont focus on that aspect focus on the moment. make it the best experience you can for her and in return shell probably do the same. losing ur v-card aint the most important thing, once it happens its cool but dont put the burden on the girl by telling her beforehand, just live in the moment and make her enjoy it as much as she can, cause chances are she WILL (like i said before) make ur first time an awesome time. take care man and hope this helps |
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DonPua
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| Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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Well if you ask me, if you bring the message well there is no problem. Tell her that you were waiting for the right girl and the right moment. You could have lost virginity a long time ago but you have chosen to wait for the right girl and now you feel that she is the right girl and that this is the right moment. She will feel so special that she will f**** your brains out  . This is how I have solved this in the past . |
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Corey
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| Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 3:31 am Post subject: |
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| smartass wrote: | | My advice would be to not say anything until after... The "first time" carries a lot of emotional baggage with it. That much pressure could scare her away. On the other hand, if she says she's a virgin first... that's another story. |
Absolutely agreed. You're pretty much fucking yourself over if you state that you are seeing as girls dont really want the guy to fall in love with them after they take the guy's virginity. |
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alexgeorge51
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| Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 3:53 am Post subject: |
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| no pressure man. first times aren't always the best -whether in sex or any other endeavor for that matter. if it happens, just go with the flow. experiment. don't worry too much. it'll suck the fun out of the experience. |
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